SP Premium
Walking Guide
Group photo
Author:
LEIGHLEEBELLE's Photo LEIGHLEEBELLE Posts: 116
9/9/09 10:47 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you for your post. It's true I do have a son and a daughter, nothing they do could ever cause me to want to leave them. I don't believe my father was trying to leave me because of something I did, I believe he confided in me and because I was so young, I couldn't help him. I was daddy's little girl, he told me things that I know parents shouldn't tell their children. He would sit me on his lap and tell me how the world hated him and he wasn't any good. My mom found out and was very upset. I know deep down that I was too young to do anything, but part of me will always wonder. My mother made it clear to me shortly after his death, that she wished it was her that was gone. But, I suppose that's another story.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a parent is a terrible thing for kid to get over. I read a great book recently about early loss of a parent, it was totally eye opening. Before reading it, I just thought I was crazy. Now, I know why I'm crazy and I can work on that!

 Pounds lost: 56.0 
0
22.5
45
67.5
90
EMMASMART's Photo EMMASMART SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,272)
Posts: 10,824
9/9/09 10:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I think it's interesting that you realize that you are careful with everyone because of that happening to you.. Most people are completely unaware of their emotions source. It looks like you have a boy yourself now. Is there anything he could say that would through you over the edge and make you suicide? I ask that because I want to make sure you know in a deep way that children going about their normal childhoods (or slightly abnormal like most of us) do not cause suicide.

When people suicide it's because they feel like the world is better without them. They feel like there is no other answer. They might want to hurt those who've hurt them.. It's rarely to do with the children. (except in the cases where rather than put the kids up for foster care, you kill yourself and they end up in foster care.) Suicide makes no sense you see. We want to make it sensible and logical and it's just faulty brain chemicals making us unreasonable even to our own selves.

I feel quite justified in saying you did not cause your father's suicide when you were 8. Further, I feel justified in saying that you probably won't hurt people in a deep way if you state your needs.

For practice please let me know how presumptuous I am with this post. I can take it. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad when he was 10 to cancer and I'm not over it. Dad was funny and sweet and a little bit strict. The closer he got to death the sweeter he was. I miss him still. 39 years later - how'd I get so old?

Emma




 current weight: 356.3 
375
356
337
318
299
LEIGHLEEBELLE's Photo LEIGHLEEBELLE Posts: 116
9/7/09 10:49 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I'd like to say more than, "it sucks". But I just don't know what to say. I can't imagine my life any different, It's been really difficult, but I have to believe I'm stronger for it. I have issues with communication, part of me feels like I could have helped or prevented his death. I have this fear that, what I say or do, could hurt someone, so I avoid arguements and confrontation as much as possible. Anyway, If anything I've been through can help any of you, please let me know.

 Pounds lost: 56.0 
0
22.5
45
67.5
90
PLAYFULLKITTY's Photo PLAYFULLKITTY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (42,996)
Posts: 33,280
9/7/09 7:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
We lost my uncle to suicide :( and yea, it sucks. Hugs to you.

......oooO................
.....(....).................
......)../....Oooo......
.....(_/.....(....).......
................\..)........
.................\_).......

......oooO................
.....(....).................
......)../....Oooo......
.....(_/.....(....)
... I WAS .............
.......... HERE ......
..Leaving my .......
Footprints in your
..............SAND..


 current weight: 234.0 
306
262
218
174
130
LEIGHLEEBELLE's Photo LEIGHLEEBELLE Posts: 116
9/6/09 11:55 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Hello, I just found this team and I'm looking forward to meeting some new people. When I was 8 years old, my father committed suicide. It sucks.


 Pounds lost: 56.0 
0
22.5
45
67.5
90
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Fatherless Children Introduce Yourself to Team Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:



Thread URL: https://wfl.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=-1x15036x28226935

Review our Community Guidelines