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CD16296622 Posts: 352
6/10/16 10:08 A

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The worst part for me is knowing that people who have never been this large, really do not get how a person can get this large.

I remember when I was thin I didn't get it. I really didn't. But I had a super active lifestyle back then and when I broke my foot....well. I gained weight right away. Then I started to get it a tiny bit. But it wasn't that much weight.

Actually after my first baby I was like...."how do women not get fat when they ahve babies!?!? What is wrong with me?!" Then I lost it, then got pregnant again. Then it was harder to lose and it didn't all come off, got pregnant again, then after that one I was so depressed I just ate. And ate. And ate. And I didn't understand how people could avoid all these yummy foods. I was just depressed and ate and I really do not feel like anyone understands why I ate so much junk foods and just didn't' care.

I have talked to people online who get it more but in my life here, I don't meet anyone like this. I meet skinny people who hate their bodies and I just want to shake them and tell them they need to be easier on themselves. Not because I am mad at them, no, just I know what it is to be there. To be thinner and still hate my body and make myself miserable. I appreciate my body more now then I did when I was thin. A LOT more.

Anyway....

SFAGECKO's Photo SFAGECKO Posts: 56
6/10/16 9:30 A

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I feel similar in that I have not told anyone (other than SP) my current weight or my goal to lose 100 pounds (or more once I reach that goal). I feel like they would judge me once they knew the hard numbers and how much it actually is. I feel like some people judge me when they see me just as "a fat person." At work I feel isolated because the male bosses will come over and chat up the thin girls and ignore me, even though I try to join in the conversations.

I don't even like to get on the scale in front of my husband. He randomly started losing weight about 6 weeks ago (turns out the cause was diabetes & he was diagnosed 2 weeks ago) and now he weighs less than I do and I am embarrassed. He is dropping weight without intending to, and I feel frustrated because I am working so hard to resist the temptation of not eating well.

I know the reason I have gained weight now, but I wish I had known 10 years ago before I had gained it so that I could change my eating before gaining the weight. I had tried SP previously, and I had tried other diets and medications. Nothing (not even calorie restriction) seemed to work, so I stopped trying altogether because I was tired of working and working and nothing happening. It was so frustrating to see people eating the exact same foods and portions that I was and they not gain an ounce, but I would continue to gain weight. I hated knowing that people thought I was lazy and that losing weight is easy and I just didn't want to try or stick to it.

I took a karate class with some friends about a month ago (after I had started my new diet), and while I enjoyed it and it was fun, I didn't like the wall of mirrors. It made me look at myself and see how different I was from everyone else in the class. My karate kicks and other moves did not look like theirs because of my size, and I felt so out of place. Nobody at the class made me feel bad, they were actually very encouraging and wanted me to sign up and come more often, but the combination of those feelings plus my crazy work schedule made me want to wait to go back until I have lost weight and have my work schedule back to normal.

So yes, I also feel isolated because of the amount I have to lose. I am hoping to lose it all and once I do, to still be accepting and inclusive of those that might feel isolated for the same reason.

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SASKCASSI83's Photo SASKCASSI83 Posts: 21
6/10/16 12:36 A

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I understand how you feel. I live in a very small town where everyone exercises constantly, and on top of being newer to the town, I also have limitations to what I can do because of a bone disorder in my feet. Being the "odd" person out with wanting to lose 100+ lbs is very difficult because no one really truly understands because they aren't in my situation. That is why I am so thankful for groups such as Sparkpeople so I know I'm not really alone, with such great people going through the same things :)

~*~ Cassi ~*~

"The difference between your body this week and next week is what you do for the next seven days to achieve yourgoals"

www.fitbit.com/user/2VTYG9


 current weight: 289.2 
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STEVO1134's Photo STEVO1134 Posts: 29
6/9/16 1:18 P

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I just started getting back into working out and trying to get in better shape. And when I go to the gym, I definitely feel eyes on me because I know the minute I step in there, I'm usually the fattest person there. So I find it hard to relate to people there. I find myself going at this alone. If someone approaches me, I'm friendly towards them. But other than that, I stay to myself and just get my workouts in, and that's it. What I find helps me stay focused is that yes, right now I'm fatter than any other person in that gym, and they can judge me all they want. They don't know me, and I'm not there to impress anyone but myself. I'm doing this for me. I'll endure the isolation I feel, as long as I stay focused and just continue to work hard and improve every day. That's an even trade-off in my book.

CD16296622 Posts: 352
6/6/16 5:02 P

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I have at times and is actually why I kept my weight loss efforts a secret for like 3 months. Well, one of the reasons! Nobody I know personally is trying to lose this kind of weight. I have 120 pounds to lose and most people seem to have a small amount. I hardly ever meet anyone as large as I am and the people who are that I have met have no interest in losing.

It was neat to kind of have my little secret and do this just for me. It helped me get a good perspective and make goals that are important to ME. And of course staying active on SP helps a TON!

Now I have a workout buddy and it is great! True she isn't trying to lose this much, she is a lot smaller than me. But it is fun anyway just to have someone to workout with! So don't be afraid to friend someone who is smaller than you! Everyone has their own struggles even if they don't have as much to lose.

AGINGPUNKCHICK's Photo AGINGPUNKCHICK Posts: 21
6/5/16 12:20 P

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I definitely sympathize with that. I have over 150 lbs to lose and with a physical disability no less and none of my friends or even family really understand that the impact that both issues have on one another. They also think I got this fat before the back went out and that its because I'm lazy. When in fact I got fat because I got disabled almost 20 years ago. When my back first went out and nobody seemed to take it seriously except me and my BFF I actually weighed my current target weight. Over the years, after what seemed to be annual debilitating back spasms that caused monthly long periods of rest (and food cheats since I didn't have a caregiver or anything), the weight just piled on. Further more I couldnt get a doctor on my side so I could register as disabled, the only "cures" they had for this was NSAIDS and instruction to rest or do hot/cold therapies. Now that's lazy! I have one friend with MS so she understands the physical limitations part being wheelchair bound and such but she's only maybe 20ish lbs overweight so she doesn't quite understand the heaviness factor to it as well. It makes us getting together very difficult. I barely see her. So I'm stuck home alone and feeling isolated too. I do love the support I get here though and reading through how other cope with issues I face, but sometimes you just need an IRL shoulder to cry on. I have my husband at home and he's cusping dealing with being in my position soon and I think its more frustrating to him because he's worried he won't be able to help anymore, but then that just causes more frustration and pushing the situation away. Now I feel guilty asking for help, thus feeling even more isolated. Aside from finding a more user friendly home I'm out of ideas.

Kadee
San Diego, CA 92115


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QUILTMOM77's Photo QUILTMOM77 Posts: 288
5/31/16 9:41 A

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Absolutely. Then on top of it I don't loose quickly with calorie reduction so I feel like a failure. I know 10 minutes of exercise is better than nothing but it's hard to get past the mindset of 60+ minutes minimum or it's too little. Since, after all, I'm fat because I must be lazy!

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MONKEYSNUFFER's Photo MONKEYSNUFFER Posts: 1,241
5/22/16 5:18 P

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I sometimes feel very alone,even among the overweight. I feel like a different person from when I had maybe 30 to lose to now at 109 to lose.
Two back to back pregnancies and too much sugar brought me to this point and I feel like the majority of people on have 10,20,30,40 to lose. And I can't relate.

Anyone else?

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