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FREIDAFAGRE's Photo FREIDAFAGRE SparkPoints: (46,546)
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10/11/09 9:02 P

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I am as sick as I have ever been with manic and depression together. I live in California we have just finished forest fire season next comes mudslide season.

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9/18/09 9:48 A

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I loved the summer here in PA. It was so nice. I got to go for walks and NOT be all sweaty and everything. Now it is in the 60's and chilly.

Believe me I will take this weather OVER Ohio....anytime!!!

Blessed are those who bring out the BEAUTY in others!!

You are blessed if you understand that VERY LITTLE is needed to make life happy.

LOVE is a blessing that comes from the HEART.

ENCOURAGEMENT is a blessing of HOPE.

Being wth those you LOVE is a BLESSING!!

Blessings come from sharing HAPPINESS.

Live well, laugh often, and bless each day.



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POETANDMORE's Photo POETANDMORE Posts: 5,058
9/18/09 2:33 A

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It'S funny but I love humidity and heat. I should live in Florida. The fall is heading our way. It's time for alot of walking. Doing well here! Have a great day!

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AMY69ROSE666's Photo AMY69ROSE666 Posts: 324
8/26/09 7:54 P

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Awe I HATE humidity, I have immense trouble working out when it's hot, I get headaches really really easily from working out and humidity makes it 10 times worse! I feel for you.

And yeah my cell is hooked back up now, but I hate not having it. My life is very lonely as it is now, I don't need to add to that :(



Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...


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RHODYART's Photo RHODYART Posts: 49
8/21/09 10:37 A

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I've been hungry to walk this week but it's so warm and humid that it's been very difficult to do so. I am very affected by humidity and normally I would do much better since our summers are usually humid and you get time to adjust. What's happened to us is that we had a cool, damp or cool dry summer until now and we've gotten heat and humidity suddenly and it's hard for everyone to adjust (except those strange people who love heat and humidity lol like one of my co workers and even she's yelling "UNCLE"). But I just figure OK, the weather will get beter just watch your food intake and do other things.
I did make a pledge to my local pbs station that was showing a show called getting firm after 50 (I'm not quite 50 but getting there) and got 2 dvds as a thank you so I'm looking forward to getting those. I'll like that much better than a gym and will resolve to WATCH THEM AND DO THE EXERCISES.
so that's positive. And I had yesterday and today off which is good for the mentality.
sorry to hear about your troubles--I haven't had that issue with my celly but lose it constantly which stinks since it's both home and cell phone. I decided in February not to bother paying for 2 phones when I only really needed one.
but I know what you mean about running late. I get so bent out of shape if my routine gets screwed up.
(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) to everyone here
love
lin

Go Red Sox! Go Patriots! Go Rhode Island!
Fave quote: What does not kill me makes me stronger.


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AMY69ROSE666's Photo AMY69ROSE666 Posts: 324
8/20/09 9:01 P

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And what upset me the most is I was bound and determined to work out this morning, and walk to work...I didn't do either. But I AM going to work out when I get home, I have to. It's getting ridiculous.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...


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AMY69ROSE666's Photo AMY69ROSE666 Posts: 324
8/20/09 9:01 P

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I'm sorry to hear about all that! I'm glad you have gotten the help you needed, and come here when you're feeling down.
I had a terrible day today, nothing compared to what you've gone through! But terrible emotionally; First I woke up already late for work, just slept through my alarms, then my cell phone had been disconnected with no notice what so ever so I was really upset about it (I'm painfully lonely without my phone, it's just so I don't have to be alone, I can text someone when I get sad...if I don't have my phone I am all alone), and since I woke up late I couldn't do laundry. I did shower though, I had to, I wasn't dirty but I would've felt horrible if I wasn't all fresh and clean...then I got to work and it was so busy, everything went horribley....but now things are okay. I tried to remain slightly positive, but I did cry a little. I have days where I feel sad, and when something goes wrong I crash and burn emotionally, I really wish it didn't happen.

On my way to work I heard an add from this place in town called Many Rivers' which is a place I can go to speak to someone that might be able to find me the help I need...so I'm going to do so as soon as I have a day off from work. I just wanna be better...or as best as I can be.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...


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8/20/09 5:25 P

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I made a post yesterday about my rough time this week especailly. I am sorry I am NOT saying much right now. Please read the second sticky and you will understand more.

Hugs and thank you for all the posts here I really appreciate it.



Blessed are those who bring out the BEAUTY in others!!

You are blessed if you understand that VERY LITTLE is needed to make life happy.

LOVE is a blessing that comes from the HEART.

ENCOURAGEMENT is a blessing of HOPE.

Being wth those you LOVE is a BLESSING!!

Blessings come from sharing HAPPINESS.

Live well, laugh often, and bless each day.



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RHODYART's Photo RHODYART Posts: 49
8/20/09 4:21 P

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thanks--I loved my dad dearly but he was a very controlling individual and part of what sent me into the tailspin that finally got me diagnosed was admitting that I had given up the greater part of my life to take care of him because he laid guilt trips on me if I didn't. He was an emotional and verbal abuser as well but he did have his own problems and illnesses and such and I think he just got so screwed up from his upbringing that this was bound to happen. I forgive him but I'm still angry at him and yet....I grieve for him. What happened Tuesday was that I was thinking "I need to tell dad about Selene (boss) when I get home." and then I remembered, "he's not home and won't ever be home" and I just lost it -- sort of--I was able to hide it on the outside but on the inside it was awful.
We were close because my mom died in 1974 when I was 14 and he'd never remarried. He'd found his soulmate, you see. So he depended on me a little too much I guess. WHen he died, after a long illness, I had such a sense of relief and it never really hit me that he was gone gone. But now, realizing that that's it, I'm on my own, I have to find a new family (long story), the ramifications of that are finally sinking in.
but I'll make it.
thanks for the thoughts
love
lin

Go Red Sox! Go Patriots! Go Rhode Island!
Fave quote: What does not kill me makes me stronger.


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AMY69ROSE666's Photo AMY69ROSE666 Posts: 324
8/19/09 7:57 P

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Also I hope you feel better, I'm sorry to hear about your father, by the way. I can't even imagine how I could cope with that. *hugs*

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AMY69ROSE666's Photo AMY69ROSE666 Posts: 324
8/19/09 7:56 P

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I completely agree that different things work for different people. If everything worked the same we'd have one of each lol that's not the case. I know someone on Effexor and it seems to help them, it took some of my passion away, and when I wasn't on it, it was the worst I've ever felt in my life. But I'm super excited you found something that works!

I am not on anything now, the last few days I haven't been depressed so much as just very weak and unenergetic...not sure why.

I admire you for being able to function all those years, I was completely useless to myself and to others for a long time, until 2009 when I decided to change it all (for the better) and sort my sh*t out. I manage now, people that know me and others with bipolar say that I'm much smarter, more grounded, and less difficult than most. It's just that I can catch when I'm doing it better than I could before (which was not even a little bit). I've been slacking on working out, which is making me more and more depressed as the days go on, so tonight I HAVE to work out, it'll make me feel so much better!!

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...


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RHODYART's Photo RHODYART Posts: 49
8/19/09 11:16 A

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Having some not so great days yesterday and today--very anxious about work (my boss and I are not mixing well, she's very annoyed with me and I can't seem to pull my socks up), had an intense grief experience suddenly in the middle of the work day (my dad died 18 months ago--we were very close but there were many issues and he lived with me until his death) and though I managed to cope I know it affected my work. So today am anxious about that.
I need to find a support group in my area I can get to--there's one that sounds good but the sessions are hard to get to and the times are not very convenient.
oh well, that's my life
lin

Go Red Sox! Go Patriots! Go Rhode Island!
Fave quote: What does not kill me makes me stronger.


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POETANDMORE's Photo POETANDMORE Posts: 5,058
8/19/09 10:41 A

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Doing well with my Biopolar 1 illness. Enjoying exercise, by running around and swimming. I still have mood fluctuations-remaining stable though. The winter is the worse for me. The summer is good!

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RHODYART's Photo RHODYART Posts: 49
8/17/09 7:57 A

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Effexor seems to be working now that we have the dosage right. When I had the breakdown luckily I didn't need to be hospitalized as an inpatient but did partial hospital instead. Everyone except me in my group was depressed and here I was bopping around and manic. I seem to do a lot of up and down in short spurts which can be exhausting--I'm bipolar II by the way not traditional bipolar--but I've learned to tell the signs and I'm actually quite functional. The docs think I function so well because I've learned to over the years of not being diagnosed.

One thing I've learned over years, coming from a family of nutcases (lol) is that what works for one doesn't work for another and what causes problems for one is fine for another. My dad was riddled with anxiety disorders and he swore by xanax. Someone else I know with anxiety didn't like xanax at all. So I've learned that everyone is different and reacts differently.
One other thing I've learned is to honor each other's experiences, which did not happen with some of the people in my group at Partial--they couldn't understand me because they were so down. The doctors, on the ohter hand, were happy to be dealing with something other than plain old depression. Anyway, thanks for the input and I'll keep your comments in mind re effexor.

lin

Go Red Sox! Go Patriots! Go Rhode Island!
Fave quote: What does not kill me makes me stronger.


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AMY69ROSE666's Photo AMY69ROSE666 Posts: 324
8/16/09 3:34 P

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First of all, Effexor is the devil lol. I was on it for a couple years, my doctor failed to mention that it's one of the hardest anti depressants to come off of, even when done properly, and I went through HELL. I've been off it for several months and I just got over symptoms of withdrawl recently. But if it works for you, that's really awesome.
Yeah the not knowing what's normal is extremely difficult for people with bipolar disorder. I, for example was diagnosed at 15, I'm not sure when I actually developed it...but I don't know normalcy. Norlamcy to me is crippling depressing because I've known that more than any other emotion...but I doubt severe sadness is normal...so I'm working on figuring out what my normal is.
I know A LOT about this disorder (having it fueled me to research). If you've any questions, just ask :) message me if you'd like. I like helping people understand this sickness because most simply don't. Not lack of empathy but lack of information.
Also, I'm really sorry to hear about your father passing away, that must be hard. I can't even imagine. Yay for having fun lately though! Thats important!!

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...


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RHODYART's Photo RHODYART Posts: 49
8/16/09 11:21 A

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I am new to being diagnosed with bipolar though the docs think I've been bipolar since my teen years, it's just been fairly mild most of the time. I'm still learning how to deal with having a diagnosis and figuring out my daily bipolar "temperature." I had a bad episode in April after being hospitalized for a new fatal asthma attack and have been recovering mentally ever since. Added to that is lots of job stress -- and still grieving over the death of my father and admitting to things that went on while he was alive (no, not sexual abuse but physical and verbal) -- and I have been having a lot of fun recently. I don't know so much that I need specific information like facts and such but more experiential info, like "is this 'normal'" or how can you tell if.... sorts of things.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not really bipolar because my symptoms seem so mild (I'm on Effexor,Tegretol and Risperdal by the way) and other times I feel crazy like a loon. So I'm not at all sure how I'm "supposed" to feel.
anyway, i'm glad to be here and see there are others like me out there.

hugs
lin

Go Red Sox! Go Patriots! Go Rhode Island!
Fave quote: What does not kill me makes me stronger.


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AMY69ROSE666's Photo AMY69ROSE666 Posts: 324
8/14/09 8:19 P

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It Gets TOUGH for me. The most important thing is to know when it's the bipolar controlling the emotional response or if the emotional response is logical and applicable.
I definitely have manic days where I am high in the sky with happiness, I am overly confident to the point of arrogance sometimes (I'd still prefer that to hating myself). When I'm manic though, I get really irritated easily.
Depressive episodes are extremely terrible! I hardly talk, I can't smile, I cry over literally everything; commercials, tv shows, certain looks on peoples faces=EVERYTHING!
I have mixed episodes as well, where I am doing fine, but in the back of my mind there's a haunting.

I try very very hard each day to keep it under control, I need medication but where I live is very difficult.
I'd be HAPPY to answer any questions, over the past 8 months I've been doing a lot of research so I can understand what's happening with me and why, when it happens. I went 6 years without getting any information and I couldn't live so unhappily any more.
Good luck everyone!

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8/14/09 4:29 P

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AMY69ROSE666 That would be great. Any help with information would be appreciated. Anything I had I really do NOT know....1) If I still have it and 2) When in the WORLD I would get it. (LONG STORY)

EMMA--I still go through what your talking about. They are called Manic episodes I think. A lot of people thought my decision to move was a Manic episode and they threw all kinds of questions at me and it really frusterated me. My Nurse practioner and case Manager EVEN wanted me to stay in the AWFUL situation I was in. I just could NOT make them see things for what they were.

Blessed are those who bring out the BEAUTY in others!!

You are blessed if you understand that VERY LITTLE is needed to make life happy.

LOVE is a blessing that comes from the HEART.

ENCOURAGEMENT is a blessing of HOPE.

Being wth those you LOVE is a BLESSING!!

Blessings come from sharing HAPPINESS.

Live well, laugh often, and bless each day.



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EMMASMART's Photo EMMASMART SparkPoints: (0)
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8/14/09 12:33 A

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Do you go through phases where you are "better" and phases where you are worse. I am on a better bit right now. Depression is lifted, for the most part. I am getting better at not reacting to external stress. But I know sometimes I am better and sometimes I am worse.

Emma




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AMY69ROSE666's Photo AMY69ROSE666 Posts: 324
8/12/09 7:51 P

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I agree with everyone, though this team is amazing in itself, there should definitely be more information about the underlying symptoms.
I have bipolar disorder like nobody's business so I'd be thrilled to help out with the vast amount of knowledge I have obtained over the last 8 years. :)

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...


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8/11/09 3:43 P

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I know of a woman who's bipolar. I know of her due to her Dad. She lives by herself on the edge of the desert, she works at home and her Dad handles selling her art. She has very little contact with the outside world. She takes no meds and shows no symptoms...

It's not that I am suggesting that we should all do that but the concept is there. we need to plan (as much as practical) stress free lives.

I am so sorry that your X is using your son to torture you with. I suggest you considder contacting the courts. You seem like the rational one here.

Emma




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8/11/09 3:33 P

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The EX is making things stressful. HE still has 3/4 of my stuff in OHIO and I am NOW a PROUD resident of PENNSYLVANIA. It costs just over $20 in tolls coming and I think like $10 to $15 going back. But he is SPOILING HIS SON and telling me HE does not have the money. I know for a FACT he is LYING to me. HE has not paid rent, or two other bills BUT he is spoiling JOEY. I say W/E. It is the same old song and dance I heard for 15 years even when I gave him Money to help.

Edited by: CAMERABABE at: 8/11/2009 (15:36)
Blessed are those who bring out the BEAUTY in others!!

You are blessed if you understand that VERY LITTLE is needed to make life happy.

LOVE is a blessing that comes from the HEART.

ENCOURAGEMENT is a blessing of HOPE.

Being wth those you LOVE is a BLESSING!!

Blessings come from sharing HAPPINESS.

Live well, laugh often, and bless each day.



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EMMASMART's Photo EMMASMART SparkPoints: (0)
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8/9/09 9:18 P

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Hang in there! I hope the moving is not too stressful. Try not to rush because that just seems to add stress.

Emma




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8/8/09 5:36 P

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Thank you. I am trying and with me just moving and only on the computer certain days I am trying that much harder to make this team a good one or even a better one.

Edited by: CAMERABABE at: 8/8/2009 (17:36)
Blessed are those who bring out the BEAUTY in others!!

You are blessed if you understand that VERY LITTLE is needed to make life happy.

LOVE is a blessing that comes from the HEART.

ENCOURAGEMENT is a blessing of HOPE.

Being wth those you LOVE is a BLESSING!!

Blessings come from sharing HAPPINESS.

Live well, laugh often, and bless each day.



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EMMASMART's Photo EMMASMART SparkPoints: (0)
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8/6/09 4:42 P

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You are doing a fine job around here. People come and go. You cannot rely on the "number of members" I haven't been on in 6 months or so and I am still a member. I think all that can be done is too offer. Most of us are bipolar and there fore might be reluctant to post when we are not well which might be much of the time.

Emma




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8/5/09 10:21 A

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According to the team page there are 146 on the team. I made this topic to see what I could do to get more people involved. I am literally at the end of my rope. I mean it is good that people are posting here and I made another topic too. But I thought that there might be more that I could do.

I don't know. I am trying.

Blessed are those who bring out the BEAUTY in others!!

You are blessed if you understand that VERY LITTLE is needed to make life happy.

LOVE is a blessing that comes from the HEART.

ENCOURAGEMENT is a blessing of HOPE.

Being wth those you LOVE is a BLESSING!!

Blessings come from sharing HAPPINESS.

Live well, laugh often, and bless each day.



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POETANDMORE's Photo POETANDMORE Posts: 5,058
8/5/09 5:14 A

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Wendy this team discussion forum is pretty good-people are posting. But, how many are in the team. How do we get more people to post? That would be great, if we could!

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ANNIEB0714's Photo ANNIEB0714 Posts: 804
7/23/09 11:09 P

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Wendy thank you for the post. I also agree with Denise as well. I am a parent of a recently diagnosed BP teenage daughter. I believe that I understand the ups and downs of BP due to my research and what my daughter has been going through the last few years. I would also appreciate any information out there that you or any of the team members may have in relation to the other characteristics that coincide with the bp as well, and how I can best help my daughter.

When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.



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7/20/09 12:30 P

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Thank you Denise I really appreciate it.

Blessed are those who bring out the BEAUTY in others!!

You are blessed if you understand that VERY LITTLE is needed to make life happy.

LOVE is a blessing that comes from the HEART.

ENCOURAGEMENT is a blessing of HOPE.

Being wth those you LOVE is a BLESSING!!

Blessings come from sharing HAPPINESS.

Live well, laugh often, and bless each day.



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BLUEBRIT SparkPoints: (0)
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7/20/09 12:21 P

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Bipolar, as we all know, can have a ton of different symptoms. I've noticed that most people only talk about the 'up's and 'downs' of the disease. I would like to go deeper into this disease and all that is involved in it such as OCD, Axienty, Stress, Self-halm, Depression. Just everything!! I do think this is a great team though. Denise

Had a surgery in July. The weight has been creeping up on me since then. Think I was nervous about exercising. Not an excuse. Seriously was worried about damaging myself. Lost 100lbs back in 2009....20lbs back in past 3 1/2 months. Gotta get active....
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7/20/09 11:11 A

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I am wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to make the team better? I am open to any ideas at all. You can post them here, or if you like you can spark mail me.

Also if anyone wants to co lead let me know via spark mail and I will consider it.

Have a great day.

Blessed are those who bring out the BEAUTY in others!!

You are blessed if you understand that VERY LITTLE is needed to make life happy.

LOVE is a blessing that comes from the HEART.

ENCOURAGEMENT is a blessing of HOPE.

Being wth those you LOVE is a BLESSING!!

Blessings come from sharing HAPPINESS.

Live well, laugh often, and bless each day.



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