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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 198
9/22/19 2:53 A

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.





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6/24/19 3:11 P

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution

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6/23/19 11:28 P

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How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One or two? One... or two?

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4/15/19 2:02 A

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4/15/19 2:02 A

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I knew a cup that went through college. He's a graduated cylinder now.

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4/15/19 2:00 A

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You talk funny when you breathe helium.. He He He

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4/15/19 1:59 A

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Hehe...

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4/8/19 11:03 A

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How do astronomers organize a part?
They planet.

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3/31/19 11:33 A

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Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

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3/28/19 11:14 A

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Well, my background is chemistry and I've taught it for years, but now I'm an administrator.

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3/27/19 10:25 P

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Good one! Words to live by, lol.

I take it you work in chemistry?



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3/22/19 3:07 P

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What's the most important rule of chemistry?

Don't lick the spoon.

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3/22/19 12:50 P

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Why did the programmer use the entire bottle of shampoo during one shower?

Because the bottle said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."

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3/22/19 12:40 P

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3/22/19 12:39 P

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3/22/19 12:39 P

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3/22/19 12:39 P

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3/22/19 12:38 P

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Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!

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3/22/19 12:38 P

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Good one! emoticon



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3/11/19 10:32 A

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What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

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3/10/19 3:27 P

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I was going to tell a joke about time travel, but y'all didn't like it.

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3/10/19 3:20 P

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Q. If you put me in a bucket, I make the bucket lighter. What am I?

A. A hole!

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3/10/19 3:19 P

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"How many employees work in this department?"

"About half of them."

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3/10/19 3:19 P

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I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

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3/10/19 3:19 P

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An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.



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3/10/19 3:19 P

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Do you know the name Pavlov?
It rings a bell.

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3/10/19 3:18 P

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emoticon






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2/24/19 12:31 P

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What is the chemical formula for coffee? CoFe2

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2/19/19 12:17 P

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How about the chemical workers? Are they unionized?

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2/18/19 4:01 P

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That's cold. emoticon

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2/18/19 1:23 P

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

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2/17/19 2:17 P

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2/17/19 12:14 P

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Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

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2/13/19 10:36 A

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That's a cute shirt!

I have a tote bag that says "I use this bag periodically." It then spells out Nerdy in elements (N, Er, Dy).

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2/12/19 7:20 P

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I can't wait to spring a few of these on my poor students.

My favorite 12-year-old loves to wear a shirt that says "my password is the last eight digits of pi"

Rebecca

He drew a circle that shut me out--
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!
-Edwin Markham

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Eastern Daylight Time


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2/12/19 3:01 P

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Hehe..

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
To get to the same side.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Knock
Knock
Knock Knock
Knock Knock Knock
Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock
"Who's there?"
"Fibonacci"


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2/12/19 5:59 A

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OMG, HODGEPODGEPANDA, you have a collection!!!

Rebecca

He drew a circle that shut me out--
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!
-Edwin Markham

www.fitbit.com/user/24NZF7
Eastern Daylight Time


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2/10/19 5:00 P

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I have a new theory on inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

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2/10/19 4:59 P

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Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

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2/10/19 4:54 P

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Two atoms are walking along. One of them says "Oh no! You lost an electron!"

The other one asks "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."




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2/10/19 4:51 P

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2/10/19 11:27 A

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I was going to tell a chemistry joke, but the best ones Argon.

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2/5/19 1:04 P

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Everyone laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now. emoticon

Edited by: HODGEPODGEPANDA at: 2/5/2019 (13:16)
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2/5/19 1:03 P

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Did you see the Yelp review for Orion' s Belt? 3 stars.

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2/5/19 1:02 P

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Why did the storm trooper buy an iPhone? He couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

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2/5/19 1:01 P

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Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

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2/5/19 1:00 P

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Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s a hardware problem.

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2/5/19 1:00 P

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The first rule of tautology club is the first rules of tautology club.

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2/5/19 12:59 P

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2/5/19 12:59 P

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A programmer's wife tells him, "Go to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

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2/5/19 12:58 P

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A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Magic beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? What’s so magical about it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Lemme try some of that!” The man grabs the beer. He downs it, leaps off the roof — and plummets 15 stories to the ground.
The bartender shakes his head. “You’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”

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2/5/19 12:58 P

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

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2/5/19 12:57 P

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A Roman walks into a bar with some friends, holds up two fingers, and says, "Five beers, please."

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2/5/19 12:57 P

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Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.

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2/5/19 12:56 P

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A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, "Can I help you with your luggage?" it replies, "I don't have any. I'm traveling light."

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2/5/19 12:55 P

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If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything:
Stamps = Lickie Stickie
Defibrillators = Hearty Starty
Bumble bees = Fuzzy Buzzy
Cats = Furry Purry
Dogs = Shaggy Waggy
Fork = Stabby Grabby
Socks = Feetie Heatie
Nightmare = Screamy Dreamy

Edited by: HODGEPODGEPANDA at: 2/12/2019 (14:59)
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2/5/19 12:55 P

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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

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2/5/19 12:54 P

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There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

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2/5/19 12:54 P

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Jump in with your best science jokes & worst puns!

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