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EMMASMART's Photo EMMASMART SparkPoints: (0)
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8/14/09 12:29 A

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Isn't it great that you are really getting the whole story now? I think you are adult and can make your own choices. I think it's interesting that Gma is worried about you hurting Gpa. That's a cover. She doesn't want the relationship because you having it takes away some of her control over you and her son. I think you should file that in the that's interesting drawer and go ahead and do what you want to. Except maybe leave her out of it...

You might want to check with Gpa to make sure that he's not the real problem (in private of course) Maybe you can find out what the real story is because there sure is parts of it you've never heard, I am certain of that.

Emma




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UMIDRAGON88 Posts: 18
8/12/09 12:41 P

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Well I have been to Arkansas twice since I started this, and me and my dad are getting along great. I got to see my baby sister Savannah just this past week. My dad and I are becoming close but now I face something else. My grandmothers wrath about this whole thing. She went with me on my last trip so that she could see her son and me my dad. Well at the end of the trip she had, had a few beers and a glass of wine and started yelling at me saying that I better not hurt her husband (my step-grandfather) and how I needed to not get to close to my dad. I tried to tell her not to take the one thing away that I've wanted my whole life. And she still kept going and going. I guess there is a reason my dad walked out. He said on my first visit that he had actually tried to live with me while I was growing up but my grandmother stopped that before it could even happen, so he gave up because he could no longer deal with her and the way she was acting. Sad to say I found out a lot when I first saw my dad after 13 years. My first trip was for me to ask the questions I needed to ask and get to know the man that I had missed my whole life. I am happy that today our relationship is growing.

DEE831's Photo DEE831 Posts: 2,607
4/28/09 6:16 P

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you should be grateful. when u had a dad in your life

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JENIMADISON's Photo JENIMADISON Posts: 190
4/22/09 8:27 P

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Here's my two cents, I can't truly say that people say, but if you can come to a place in your heart where you know that you are a good person and where you love yourself, that is what matters. We don't know what tomorrow will bring and my tomorrow took my father away from after I got to that place in my life where I realized that no matter how I tried to changed, I still would never be what he wanted to me to be, but even more sadly, he would never be the father I wanted. Once I reached that place, conversations that otherwise wouldn't have taken place did and while we were far from being the best of friends and there were both physical and emotional miles still between us, I was beginning to have something that resembled an actual relationship with my father; something I'd wanted all my life. Then tragically last summer, 6/4/08, he passed away suddenly and unexpected of a heart attack at just 59. I guess what I'm saying is that we don't know what tomorrow will bring. It took his death for me to forgive him and I am so grateful I reached the place in my life I did prior to his passing so that we could at least communicate.

My prayers are with you. I know this is hard.

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UMIDRAGON88 Posts: 18
4/21/09 11:45 P

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Well I was dead wrong, he wants to see me after 13 years. I have already made plans to drive to Arkansas to see him. I'm scared and at the same time happy, I feel like things are starting to come together. I guess I'll have to see when I get there. Also I found out yesterday that my stepmom is pregnant with my baby sister. So I really am happy.

UMIDRAGON88 Posts: 18
4/4/09 8:20 P

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I have thought about that and it seems I was right within a day he has stopped talking to me. Now it could be he is busy with church and his other kids but I don't know. I can never tell with him.

EMMASMART's Photo EMMASMART SparkPoints: (0)
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4/4/09 3:31 P

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This facebook thing, it requires in order to Communicate with someone you have to "friend' them. When you have issues with someone 'Friending' them is a awful lot to ask. I suggest that you ask him to communicate privately for a while before you engage in public exchanges. I think you should ask him this until you build trust back up. I suggest you consider carefully what will be your boundaries on this communication and be firm about that and be sure to communicate that clearly to him. Good luck! Keep your expectations low.

Emma




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DEE831's Photo DEE831 Posts: 2,607
4/2/09 5:26 P

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good luck. maybe it will turnout ok

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KELLYNANB's Photo KELLYNANB Posts: 162
4/2/09 12:56 P

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If he is sincere and wants to have a healthy relationship with you, wonderful! But I agree with PLAYFULLKITTY. Take it slow. We need to forgive those who hurt us, but that doesn't mean we have to leave our hearts wide open to destruction again.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are two very different things, but reconciliation can't happen without forgiveness. If you have been able to forgive, you may be ready for reconciliation. If either of you is still holding a grudge, reconciliation is going to be difficult at best.
Prays and best wishes,
Kelly

Edited by: KELLYNANB at: 4/2/2009 (12:57)
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PLAYFULLKITTY's Photo PLAYFULLKITTY SparkPoints: (0)
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3/31/09 6:37 P

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Take it slow...and go with what your heart tells you. hugs to you.

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Footprints in your
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UMIDRAGON88 Posts: 18
3/31/09 12:18 P

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As of yesterday when logging onto facebook, I saw a friend request and I was curious who could have been friending me. So I clicked on it and got the shock of my life, so much so that I had to walk away from the computer and out of the room. It was a rush of different emotions. It was my dad, the one man I had given up all hope on. My mom had gotten involved and stepped in and jumped his case about everything and put the ball in both our courts and left it at that. I did send him a message telling him that I didn't know what to say at this point in time but it would be nice to try to work things out. And if it doesn't work all contact will be cut off.
But I still have no clue on what to do with this whole thing. I mean he has changed his mind time and time again, and now this has happened I'm just a little lost.

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