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FUTUREMRS1001's Photo FUTUREMRS1001 Posts: 215
2/26/11 7:09 P

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Edited by: FUTUREMRS1001 at: 5/18/2011 (19:30)
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2/26/11 5:33 P

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I am 23 years old and he is 24. I did sit down and have a talk with my fiancÚ. Here is what came out of it ... he was worried that if we didn't go to that dinner his parents would get angry at him; surely enough they did. The next day his mom sent him on heck of an email saying how it was his responsibility to attend it. About all of the other topics my fiancÚ said that his parents don't like me over money (basically, that I have more than they had at our age). I don't understand this because I share everything with my fiancÚ (and I am happy too), therefore it is benefiting their child too. They also don't like me because I am a girly girl, have done ballet all my life and still do. They wanted my fiancÚ to have a tough, soccer player, tomboy type. They also want to bully me into respecting them like they have with their kids and they do not like the fact that I stand up for my self. He also said that they never say that they don't like me directly because I have never done/said anything that they can point out to him.

I talked to my parents about it and they said that these people are just ignorant and that I should come up with an agreement with my fiancÚ so that I only see them rarely and limit my interaction with them because ignorant people will never change. On the other hand my friend thinks that I should have my fiancÚ talk to them.

At this point I took your advice and talked to my fiancÚ, but I don't know if I should have him talk to his parents or leave it. And if he does talk to his parents, how should it be approached. My fiancÚ is good either way, he is waiting for me to decide.

What do you think?

On the wedding thing, I found it interesting that you mentioned parents shouldn't pay. We haven't even talked about that yet (we are planning on staying engaged for a few years). What about honey moon, engagement party etc.?

Anyway, it sucks when you try really hard to be nice to people and they aren't happy for you or dislike you for reasons that you can not change :S

Thanks for writing back, I really appreciate it.

FUTUREMRS1001's Photo FUTUREMRS1001 Posts: 215
2/26/11 2:44 P

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Edited by: FUTUREMRS1001 at: 5/18/2011 (19:31)
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2/22/11 12:36 P

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Hi everyone,

I am writting this because I am hoping to get some advice and outside perspective. I got engaged February 14th 2011 and in the last few days so many things have happened to make me unsure about the engagement.

Fist, my fiance and I have been together for 5 years (lived together for 4 years) and we recently bought a condo together. We have always lived in other cities, but for the last 10 months we have been living in the same city as my inlaw.

In the last few days...

(1) My fiance and I were going out of town, and my inlaws asked my fiance for my car while I was out of town. This has happened several times in the past where they never ask me for my car but refer to it as my fiance's car and ask him about it. This was very inconvenient for us as we had to drive (they are a good 45 minutes away) the night before we left to give them the car. Never have they said thank you to me for the car.

(2) When my fiance and I returned after a 6 hour flight to their house at 11pm, his dad was out with the car and didnt return until about 12:30am so we had to wait around. Even then when he arrived, he never once said sorry or thank you. Needless to say we got home at 1:30am

(3) During these few hours that we were waiting for the car, his mom said to me that there is no point in buying a wedding dress and that if it was her daughter she would rent it. She also went on to say that for her wedding she was given a small finite amount of money and that was it. I was very upset as my parents have put thousands of dollars towards furniture, our condo etc. and my fiances parents wouldnt even give us a penny until my fiance had a confrontation with them. To show you how bad this is... if they pick up an item for $6.50 ask for the $6.50. At this point you may think that they are cash tight, but they are not at all.

(4) They day after our arrival from the airport I was coming down with a flu so I couldnt make it to a family dinner out (where we had been told we had to pay for ourselves). I told my fiance I couldnt make it because I was sick (fever, chills, soar throat, cough) and he got very angry with me and yelled at me. He siad that I dont make any effort for his family!!!! He made me cry. Later he siad he was sorry once but that was it.

What should I do? Am I making a huge mistake?

I appreciate any point of view or help.

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