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MRSMORRILL17's Photo MRSMORRILL17 Posts: 42
3/4/16 11:01 A

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New to this site..But my fiancé is supportive only in an emotional way. He thinks it's great I am trying to be healthier and slim down but he won't workout with me or try to buy healthier food for the house. I'm not sure if he just doesn't have the energy anymore to workout (since he got laid off and took a job working overnight at Walmart walking almost 20000 steps each night). But what about the food? Should I talk to him?

LEGOS2STILETTOS's Photo LEGOS2STILETTOS Posts: 167
1/17/13 10:10 A

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My fiance has been extremely supportive; although, he did buy me a pint of my favorite ice cream last night and I'm doing a low carb diet. He was trying to be sweet so we shared a serving between us and put it away (I have terrible willpower so I used him as an excuse to myself to get rid of it... as I don't want him to see me overeat right now).

He wants me to spend time with him so while he's playing video games or watching tv I'll do weight training off to the side so we can talk. If I tell him what I've done (like 300 crunches yesterday), he'll give me positive feedback. He's a marine and gets out of the military in a couple weeks. Once he's out, we're going to get gym memberships so we can go workout together a few times a week.

Lea

"I'm never dirty. I'm interesting without being vulgar. I just... suggest." Mae West


MZMELISSA2007's Photo MZMELISSA2007 Posts: 774
10/17/12 4:57 P

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My fiancee is supportive, but he has always had a thing for "thick" girls. (I say he is a chubby chaser and he just smiles at me). When I first started my weight loss journey in May 2012, I weighed 330lbs and I'm 5'6". He said (at that time) he loves me no matter what but he wants me to lose to be healthier. Basically I had gained 70lbs+ since we got together in 2007 so I don't think he was as physically attracted to me as he used to be- but I know he loves me. Now, that I am about 270ish, (and only like 5lbs away from where I was when we got together), I can tell a huge difference in him. I can tell he is a lot more attracted to me and a lot happier with me. He's done told me that once I start getting "too little" he is gonna inject me with cake batter and fudge. So right now, he is very supportive.. that is until I get to what he thinks is not thick enough and he will probably be less supportive. We shall see lol :-)

~*Melissa*~

When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! ~Jillian Michaels


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DRBENGSCH2021's Photo DRBENGSCH2021 Posts: 1,912
10/3/12 12:02 A

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My fiancee is amazingly supportive of all my dreams. He loves me for the person I am right now, but he is also supportive of my weight loss dreams. He is very thin and actually wants to gain some weight/muscle, so we both have our weight-related issues. But our love is strong as ever no matter what :)

Sara


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HHONEY158 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/14/12 12:23 P

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Clarrissa92: Hey girl, I'm new the team too. You have to do what is right for you and stick to it. I'm sure it can be tough with your fiance's feelings on the matter. But also, have you tried working out with a partner at all? If not, I suggest you try it because it does help keep you accountable. And if your partner was your fiance, well all the better! It could be a great bonding "exercise" for the two of you, and give you something you can do together for the rest of your lives. I wish you luck!

My fiance is very supportive. Both of us are on the heavy side and were overweight as children. He is over seas in the air force so we talk about our success and efforts to get fit and start a healthy life style for our wedding and beyond. He is alot more self motivated than I am so I need a team on spark to help me reach my goals and hold me accountable.

[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-l
oss/wsUJOmG/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/
ezt/t/wsUJOmG/blk-weight.png[/img]
[/url]

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CLARISSA92 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/14/12 4:24 P

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Hi, so I'm new to the team...

My fiance and I just recently got engaged, like... maybe a week ago? :]

I want to just work hard and cut cold turkey. He keeps telling me he likes how I am but doesn't mind if I just want to "shed a few pounds"... I'm 230 and 5' 4", I need to do a lot more than just "shed a few pounds". Anytime I tell him I was a hard-core change, he freaks out and doesn't think I think I'm beautiful.

I do think I'm beautiful, and my self esteem is really good. It just I want to be healthy. I'm not doing this because I think I'm ugly, I'm doing it so I can feel better physically. I've told him this, and then it makes him feel bad about himself. I told him he's more than welcome to help me make the change, but when it comes to working out, going running, thats me time. Thats when I do most of my thinking about my goal and how hard I want to work. I don't want to sit and talk why I work out. If I'm not completely focused and telling myself "push harder" then I will quit. I need full focus when I'm working out, and he just doesn't get it.

He doesn't have a very high self esteem so instantly he thinks "well what if you get hotter and someone else hotter decides they want you" Well come on now, that like and insult! So some "hotter" guy doesn't want me now, and thats why he's okay with how I am?

I'm so confused. He loves me so much and I love him, we've been together a year and a half and been best friends for 4 years. I'm just lost as to what to tell him.

AMANDA102013's Photo AMANDA102013 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/24/12 4:23 P

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Ya know, He is fairly supportive. He has made it clear that he will love me either way, but has also indicated that he finds women more attractive when they are a bit curvy (but not necessarily overweight). He does not like vegetables as much as I do and almost refuses fruit. So, when I started to diet, I did not want to force my ways on him. When i would cook, I would make sure he had white bread and his normal portions so he could decide on his own if he wanted to watch what he eats with me. He got increasingly aggitated over the first week of major diet changes I made for myself (tried to incorporate whole grains and monounsaturated fats while getting rid of refined grains and saturated/trans fats). Through some arguing over the course of that week, eventually he just spit out "Its like you're keeping me fat and improving yourself so you can get ready to leave me or something! Did you ever think of including me. I mean I don't want to eat like a rabbit, but I can make some changes too!" That wowed me. I had no idea he was looking at my weight loss goals with thoughts like this in mind. Or that this was the source of his irritation. So, I first told him that if he ever feels like that, he needs to tell me and that I didn't mean to disclude him, but did not want to push him into something he did not want to do. I did not know he was interested, but perhaps should have asked instead of assuming he was not. So I told him I would teach him what I know about nutrition. He is only interested to a certain extent. I lose him after calorie count, but I figure that is a start. That being said, we do better when we work together. I am more into the nutrition and he is more into the exercise (as he prefers not to eat like a rabbit. lol). We may have different goals, but it seems to work best when I talk about mine and ask about his.

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FUTUREMRSMYERS's Photo FUTUREMRSMYERS SparkPoints: (0)
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7/22/12 5:37 P

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Jason is super supportive!!! In fact, before we got engaged, I was struggling with my weight, and ended up having a mental breakdown/panic attack about how my pants were getting tighter and tighter. His response? He signed us up for a gym, and he was able to rework his tight budget to get us a trainer. Thanks to him, I've gotten back in the gym, falling in love with the workouts my trainer has given me, and quickly learning how to eat right. It's been wonderful :)

MSBRWNEYEZ2U's Photo MSBRWNEYEZ2U Posts: 6
3/22/12 10:38 A

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My Fiancé is wonderful. Although he says I'm beautiful and I don't need to change a thing, he's supportive none the less. He is helping me eat healthier and snack healthier by doing the same. I love him to death for supporting me with this venture and I couldn't do it without him ! It's nice to know he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what but will support me so I can feel better about myself ! emoticon

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HLAUREN92's Photo HLAUREN92 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/27/11 12:12 P

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He always says well you dont need to blah blah blah i love you whatever, but he is also trying to lose weight and theres nothing on him!!

I mainly want to get into shape because of our future wedding, which will be a few years yet, but i want to look back on the photos and be happy about the way i look and feel confident and fantastic on the big day.

emoticon

Its just staying motivated now emoticon

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FELKINS's Photo FELKINS Posts: 250
7/6/11 12:54 P

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Gee, no one has added to this recently. Oh well! Here I go...

My fiancé is trying to be supportive, but it's hard for him to understand. He has a super fast metabolism. The other day we went to lunch with my dad, and my dad and I both ordered lunch entrées. My fiancé ordered a dinner size portion. He ate all of his and half of mine! At 5 foot 9, he only weighs 165 pounds. So like I said, it's hard for him to understand that I need to lose weight. He thinks I'm crazy for trying to lose weight, because (like a good significant other) he says I'm beautiful the way I am. I've read tons of articles that talk about the fact that women eat more when they eat with men. Our bodies naturally tell us to keep eating because they are still eating.

However, he tries to be supportive of my goals. He agreed to stop offering to get me Taco Bell when I'm feeling down (I'm totally addicted to it!). And he joined SparkPeople with me. He's just supposed to record what he eats every day. Also, he is cutting out sodas with me.

The only thing is, I wish he would work out with me. He is usually tired from work, but it would mean a lot to me if he would do exercises with me. I work out at home, and he prefers a gym. Also, he likes to use free weights, and I hate them. It's hard to find something we can both enjoy to do together.

At any rate, he is going to try to help me get fit! I told him we can't get married until I weigh 145 pounds, so he's more motivated for me now! I don't want to look back at my honeymoon pictures and think "gross!"

emoticon

Support is so important!

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MOLLZ007's Photo MOLLZ007 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/26/11 4:14 P

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Yeah... he is pretty cool. Sometimes I get irritated with him because I know I need to lose weight and I honestly don't understand how he doesn't see it. I want someone to tell me how it really is, but not be too harsh with me like my mom is, haha. She has NO problem telling me that I need to lose weight! My fiance is so sweet, sometimes he makes it hard because he brings me treats that he knows I love that he can't eat anymore! I love him for that... but sometimes I wish he wouldnt do it! He always has the best intentions though!

Gastric sleeve procedure on 02/20/2014
90 pounds lost since starting pre op diet on 2/14/2014


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JMRSHMELLOWS's Photo JMRSHMELLOWS SparkPoints: (0)
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5/25/11 1:31 P

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Your finacee and mine seem very similar! It is good that he supports you in your decision to become a healthier you, but also supports you how you are now...that is true love :)

~Jes

Every journey begins with the first step
My First Steps To Healthy Taken 05/22/18

--The great and glorious masterpiece of
man is to know how to live to purpose--
Michel de Montaigne


 current weight: 172.6 
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MOLLZ007's Photo MOLLZ007 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/25/11 12:05 A

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My fiance is very supportive of me. He tells me that I am beautiful and that I don't need to lose weight. When I tell him I am obese, he says he doesn't believe it, but I SAW it on a chart in the doctors office! I am 5'5 and 248 pounds- I KNOW that is not healthy! He says that he thinks I am beautiful the way I am, but if I want to lose weight, he will support me. He needs to lose weight too- he is 300 pounds and 6'2. Plus, he has diabetes, which is modivation for me to lose weight because I am scared of getting it because it runs in my family. It is just hard to motivate my fiance to go to the gym with me. I REALLY want to start going to the gym more, and plus my school has a BEAUTIFUL gym that I get to use for free while I'm a student. emoticon He always wants to do something else whenever I want to go to the gym. But I think I'm finally gonna get him to go with me tomorrow.

Gastric sleeve procedure on 02/20/2014
90 pounds lost since starting pre op diet on 2/14/2014


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JMRSHMELLOWS's Photo JMRSHMELLOWS SparkPoints: (0)
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5/20/11 8:17 A

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My fiancee and I walked a 5K yesterday in 1 hour and 7 minutes...I was so glad that he joined me and it kept me motivated because he was there too. We were walking to find a cure for cancer, and it felt good to not only get much closer to meeting my goal of walking 5 miles per week, but it was for a good cause too!!

~Jes

Every journey begins with the first step
My First Steps To Healthy Taken 05/22/18

--The great and glorious masterpiece of
man is to know how to live to purpose--
Michel de Montaigne


 current weight: 172.6 
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JMRSHMELLOWS's Photo JMRSHMELLOWS SparkPoints: (0)
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5/18/11 9:34 A

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I will start:

My fiancee is a little on the larger size, only about 245 pounds, but he is having a hard time getting motivated to participate with me in exercising more and eating better. He works close to 10 hour days, 6 days a week so when he gets home he just wants to curl up in bed with a bowl of ice cream and do nothing, which kinda hurts my motivation because I don't get to spend a lot of time with him during the day and I want to when he is finally home.

I have accepted that he probably will not participate with me for a while, but he does encourage me to do the videos that I need to or to workout with our Kinect because he thinks it is fun to watch. I wish that I had a workout buddy, but I guess my dog will just have to do for now :)

~Jes

Every journey begins with the first step
My First Steps To Healthy Taken 05/22/18

--The great and glorious masterpiece of
man is to know how to live to purpose--
Michel de Montaigne


 current weight: 172.6 
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JMRSHMELLOWS's Photo JMRSHMELLOWS SparkPoints: (0)
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5/18/11 9:30 A

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Are you getting a lot of support?
Does he/she tell you that you don't need to lose the weight?
Do they exercise with you?
How is your "happily ever after" person helping keep you motivated in your weight-loss goals?

Share what they are doing or what you wish they would do here!!

~Jes

Every journey begins with the first step
My First Steps To Healthy Taken 05/22/18

--The great and glorious masterpiece of
man is to know how to live to purpose--
Michel de Montaigne


 current weight: 172.6 
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