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IVYLASS's Photo IVYLASS Posts: 7,201
9/16/10 4:31 P

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I'm focusing on a bigger project right now, so I hardly think of it, except when I have to take my Tamoxifen. I did have an emotional moment when I visited a breast health boutique with a friend of mine. It's run by a woman who survived breast cancer, and seeing those scarves in the secluded area of the shop, where you could try them on in private, was a bit overwhelming.

One stumble does not a failure make.

Everything in moderation.


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RBP1952's Photo RBP1952 Posts: 933
9/16/10 11:54 A

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In an odd way, cancer can be a blessing. I never knew I had so many wonderful friends that truly cared about me. I learned to prioritize things and eliminate what was not important. I quit volunteering (and running myself ragged) every time someone asked me to do something. I remember thinking that if breast cancer hits 1 in 8 women, my 2 daughters, my niece, my mom and sister and 3 mothers with young children were safe from this horrendous disease. I learned to thank God for the many blessing he has bestowed upon me. And, most of all, I learned that I am a strong, courageous and capable woman!! emoticon

When one door closes another opens, but sometimes it's hell in the hallway !!

If your dog is fat, you are not getting enough exercise!

Anytime you think you can't, you're right!!

4 things you can't recover:
the stone after it's thrown;
the word after it's said;
the occasion after it's missed;
the time after it's passed.


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GATOR12's Photo GATOR12 Posts: 4,655
9/16/10 11:51 A

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FiveOh--I'm a person, too, who likes to know what is gonna happen and when things change I need to get my mind around it and figure it out or get ready.
Donna--you have been in my prayers since your last surgery but I haven't heard much from you, which now I understand. It is hard to share when the news isn't what you hope. But God is still in charge and in the miracle business. True this disease may take your life, this year next or the next. But so may a car wreck. So we live each day, doing what we want as we feel like it and handling it best we can. Some days, that's not very good, and that's ok!
For me, I'm 7 years out, bilateral,chemo,radiation, just finishing arimidex this year so done w/that. Blessed to have hubby so supportive (you are blessed too, FiveOh,) I always said why not me and I learned so much about myself and how strong I was. I also think I taught some of my church and family friends about the strength they could have as they supported me. Not something i would choose but I am a better person from cancer and don't hold back thot's!!!

Brenda


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CD5263005 Posts: 376
9/16/10 11:31 A

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I have had a very positive attitude during this whole experience and I feel like I've handled anything that's been sent my way in a positive manner. In some weird ways I am a better person because of cancer, got my priorities straight, know what's important and what's not and am healthier. My family and friends have been a huge support system and that was a blessing to realize that. I have done the cancer walks and raised money and certainly am a support for people in the same situation but it is certainly not something I was prepared for. But it was part of a greater plan and meant to be. So I've tried to accept that and be open to whatever happens. I am just in a funky mood lately. It's nice to talk to others that have been in the same place.

Donna - I'm so sorry things are not going well. You will be in my prayers.

SWARMSOFLIZARDS's Photo SWARMSOFLIZARDS Posts: 231
9/16/10 11:06 A

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I feel really open about it and haven't minded ever talking about it for anyone who has questions--I think some people worry that their questions will upset or offend me, but I've never found that to be the case. I'm relatively young (29, and 28 at diagnosis) and I don't feel any stigma about getting breast cancer. I think it's a sh-tty thing to happen to anybody, but that I've been pretty well-equipped to deal with it.

I don't think I'm a typical optimist, but I think I've been relatively lucky. It's been about 13 months since my diagnosis, and life is pretty much back to normal, with the exception of having to wait to try to have kids until I'm done with Tamoxifen.

One small issue I have is a sense of guilt that I got a "popular" cancer. As annoying as I find pink ribbons, the marketing of breast cancer has helped raise awareness and research dollars, and I'm sure I've benefited from that, whereas someone with, say, bowel cancer doesn't have the same advantage.

Meredith

"Imagine that in front of you is a castle. That's where you want to be. But surrounding that castle is a moat, full of piranha. The only way to get into Sexy Abs Castle is to swim across the moat and let the little fish painfully chew off hunks of fat. The real situation is exactly like that, only the swim will take years."
tinyurl.com/piranha-moat


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JOCALAT's Photo JOCALAT Posts: 1,036
9/16/10 10:28 A

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Great guy you have...he's a keeper!! You are right to feel the way you do....I was thinking while I was working out this AM that for most of us we have all suffered a loss...whether its the life as we once knew it, a breast, maybe two, the ability to have children again, hair, dignity at times... we can't help but mourn that loss...and as you said it throws you curves, sometimes for me its about being in control when things change....sending you a hug and prayers...Chris emoticon

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9/16/10 10:22 A

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I'm not dealing with this very well now, either. I have an aggressive breast cancer (triple negative), & it has now moved to my liver. I'm hoping for some good news from Fox Chase in Philly, PA, but to be realistic, this is apt to only extend my life about 9 months. I'm afraid I will be losing my battle within the next year or so.

Donna (Upstate NY)

"Even monkeys fall out of trees."

"Suffering is the tuition one pays for a character degree."

"Accept your diagnosis, but never your prognosis."

home.roadrunner.com/~andydonna


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FIVEOHBARBIE's Photo FIVEOHBARBIE Posts: 54
9/16/10 9:17 A

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I'm not dealing with it well at all. I keep trying to stay positive, but everytime I wrap my head around it, something else changes. I came to terms with the surgery and the lifestyle change, thought I was going to be on the downhill slide by doing radiation and tamox...found out yesterday that the doc decided to do chemo first because of my age. Now I'm having to completely readjust. I keep trying to remind myself that the important thing is survival. I thank God everyday for my supportive husband. He told me last night he's going to shave his head to match mine. =)

STANNER3's Photo STANNER3 Posts: 2,459
9/16/10 8:08 A

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I had worked in the cancer field for 24 years before I got my diagnosis, so the word cancer was already a daily topic for me, guess that makes it different. I have a friend who is about a 14 year survivor (woohoo) and she refuses to ever talk about it, which is just how she deals with it. I guess what I'm saying is everybody's different and you have to do what's best in your situation. Yes I still get emotional at the rallies and walks, but I like to think it's more happy tears that I'm still here!!

And I never asked the "why me" question either, with 1 in 8 women being affected by breast cancer in their lifetime, it was more of a "why not me?". I just assumed that I would be dealing with it as some point in my life!

And I also agree with Jocalat, I have seen many positive things happen because of my battle with cancer, even just being that much more sympathetic with my patients and newly diagnosed friends!

Suzanne

Suzanne

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Phil. 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill

"Victory is not found in the ease of our circumstances, nor in the strength of our own resources, but in the presence of the Lord, who is with us" Roy Lessin


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JOCALAT's Photo JOCALAT Posts: 1,036
9/16/10 7:32 A

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I agree with Dee...I am not sure why I got it and I have never asked the Y me - there's a reason that will be revealed to me if I am open to it... I view cancer as a chronic illness like diabetes - you never really get away from it because there is always a checkup of some kind that reminds you. If I didn't have the diag then I wouldn't have met all of you...I feel extremely blessed to have a group of strong women I can talk to ....it has changed my life in many ways...I think I am a better person...by being emotional you are being human and empathetic to those who are going through similar experiences...that's not a bad thing!!

DEETHEDIETITIAN's Photo DEETHEDIETITIAN Posts: 356
9/16/10 1:20 A

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Lista,

I was just diagnosed in April of this year and have just finished my chemo and will be starting maintenance (Tamoxifen) in a few weeks (once the chemo stuff is out of my system).

This is a difficult topic because everyone deals differently with this just like people deal differently while going through it.

I've been through some pretty tough things in my life (for instance, being abused as a child)... and now when I see an abused child or hear about it - my heart gets really heavy and I experience feelings of anger and depression. How I handle surviving my abuse as a child -- is that I take that anger I feel today and I advocate against domestic violence. This helps me to feel less of a victim. It helps me to feel more empowered and less afraid - if that makes any sense at all.

It is my hope that I will deal with my being a survivor of breast cancer the same way. I am excited about Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I plan on doing all that I can to raise awareness and raise money for research to fight breast cancer. Again, this helps me to feel less of a victim and more empowered.

Oh... one important thing that has also helped me to cope with other traumas in my life -- is seeing my therapist. That is a huge help for me. That and exercise!

And... venting and sharing with others (like us) who can relate to what you are dealing with.

Hope this helps ~
Dee ~


It is not enough to simply show up. You need to step up for results.... keep on stepping! Dee


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CD5263005 Posts: 376
9/16/10 12:13 A

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How do you deal/feel with the topic of cancer? Even though I am 4 1/2 years out from first being told I had cancer I really struggle with the topic of cancer. All the emotions come flooding over me when I see something on tv about cancer, someone is currently diagnosed with it, the pink ribbon, cancer month coming up. I really am emotionally pained by this. How do you get over or through this?

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