SP Premium
Walking Guide
Group photo
Author:
DEETHEDIETITIAN's Photo DEETHEDIETITIAN Posts: 356
12/17/10 10:29 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Lyndhurstgirl ~ you are welcome! I feel "safe" with this group and I am so eternally grateful to the group for allowing such open discussion. Where else would we have these conversations? :0)

I had my replacement surgery November 5th so it has been almost 6 weeks and I'm feeling much better - though - not quite there yet. I have stitches (that will "eventually disolve" that are pushing (not quite) through my skin and so the area is still tender and sensitive.

These are so much better than the expanders (which my hubby and I referred to as the rocks) ~ and I imagine it will continue to get better. My hubby touches them more now but still very carefully (and I am glad).

As you mentioned -- just working on figuring out my new normal! Best of luck to you and I will keep you (as I do all my SP family) in my prayers!

It is not enough to simply show up. You need to step up for results.... keep on stepping! Dee


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
10.775
21.55
32.325
43.1
LYNDHURSTGIRL Posts: 18
12/14/10 10:05 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
This is the post I've been waiting for so thank you to all of you who have shared so openly and honestly.

My double mastectomy with reconstruction was May 26th and my final reconstruction was this past Wednesday. I'm hoping that once I'm a few weeks out from surgery, my husband will no longer feel as if my breast are a "no fly zone." I know he felt that way because of the expanders so now that they're gone, I'm hoping it will be different for him. And for me too.

We are BOTH mourning the loss of sensation and the sexual pleasure that my breasts brought both of us during lovemaking. Like some of you we are hoping to find other sensitive areas. Don't know if any of you saw a recent Dr. Oz show where, asking two of the husbands to guess their wife's most erogenous area both husbands guessed right. The answers were, respectively, "her neck," and "her lower back." It made me think that with patience maybe we could explore and find new areas also.

I remember what a woman who had been through this experience years ago told me. She said, "you have to find your new normal."

PEACEFUL-SPIRIT's Photo PEACEFUL-SPIRIT Posts: 16,620
12/7/10 9:19 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The best way I can describe implants or our new boobs is you have to think f your chest like a female body builder, those breast are firm, and they are different from real ones, it takes a long time for your body to get used to them. My husband is very comfortable with the way I am now, I am too, but it's been 18 months since I got em'...I'd never want to go back. One thing that is really important to me is I am a singer and having the implants is a sound buffer to loud music, I need those. Hugs to all and good luck.

Inga
Co-Leader of Breast Cancer Survivor's & Those Who Care. Days Go By...So Live Your Life.

Motivational Quote:
"You have within you a supply of energy limited only by your ability to discover and develop it. In body, mind and spirit, you are endowed with capabilities far greater than you know, keep reaching for your potential. "




 Pounds lost: 29.0 
0
11.25
22.5
33.75
45
BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (140,550)
Posts: 22,351
12/6/10 12:19 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I read all your posts and I know and can identify
with all of your feelings. I just had one breast
removed, though I wanted both removed. Until last evening, I had not missed having my breast. But as I was showering last evening, two different times, I
took the soapy washcloth over to wash my missing
one. That really was a rude awakening. Before
this, I showed my ugly scars but last night, I
no longer felt like walking around in the nude.
To me, I still feel like I can't believe it has
happened. It really has changed things between me &
DH. I don't even enjoy him touching the breast that
I have left. I have considered having reconstruction, but I am not sure right now.

Edited by: BRAVEONE92 at: 12/6/2010 (23:29)
"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


Total SparkPoints: 0
0
24
49
74
99
SparkPoints Level 1
CD5263005 Posts: 376
12/6/10 12:01 A

Send Private Message
Reply
I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one that has loss of sensitivity. But it's me that has a problem with my DH touching them. I don't find it comfortable any more. Somewhat psychological I'm sure. My husband too is constantly reassuring me that I'm all that and a bag of chips! Gotta love him. As far as the nipple replacement I had that done and am glad I did. As my plastic surgeon said it's more of a visual thing than anything. And it is true. It looks real and not a big empty space. I told him I didn't want nipples that looked like I was constantly cold. It's just a slight raised area and then they tattoo around it to make it look like a nipple. Who would have thought you would have to make the decision "to nipple or not to nipple" that is the question!

DEETHEDIETITIAN's Photo DEETHEDIETITIAN Posts: 356
12/5/10 11:20 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks Gator,

I am mourning the loss ~ more than I imagined. My hubby and I are committed to finding new ways to enhance that area of our intimacy - there are SOME areas of my breast that are sensitive (higher up from where the nipple was) ~ and when he touches those areas it feels nice. (sorry to those that feel uncomfortable with this level of sharing - I mean no disrespect) ~

We are thinking - they have Physical therapy for other areas of the body -- retraining the neurons and muscles - maybe if we try something like that we can create a new sensation (obviously, not like what it once was) - but something that will - at the very least - make me feel less uncomfortable with how my breasts currently feel (or don't feel).

I am very very very fortunate that my husband loves me so much and that he is always complimenting me about how I look (and - of course - how brilliant I am! LOL! We are both in school working towards our masters in social work). Through this entire experience - he has always helped me to feel like a sexy mabajamba! emoticon

Anyway ~ I am doing better today ~ Yesterday was the first day in a long while that I sat still long enough to feel any sort of emotions!

Thanks for sharing and thanks for being a co-captain on this team!!! you R-O-C-K!

Edited by: DEETHEDIETITIAN at: 12/5/2010 (21:05)
It is not enough to simply show up. You need to step up for results.... keep on stepping! Dee


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
10.775
21.55
32.325
43.1
GATOR12's Photo GATOR12 Posts: 4,655
12/5/10 1:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Dee I wasn't able to do the reconstruction mainly because my tissue was so damaged from radiation & I elected after 3rd trial failed of reinserting the expander to Not have more surgery--the transflap with muscle from my back under to support?? does that make sense. Any way done w/surgery. But like you so much of the pleasure I experienced & dh from my breasts contributed to our sexual experience. We haven't actually experimented to find other alternatives but I mourn that loss too. It is probably the only real loss I mourn after the 8 years surviving. But it's a real part of our sexuality & so tied up in our lovemaking for most all couples. I think it is pretty universal. But guess I'm not much for asking around. Good to discuss as it is a part of us all; an IMPORTANT part.

Brenda


 current weight: -1.0  under
5
2.5
0
-2.5
-5
DEETHEDIETITIAN's Photo DEETHEDIETITIAN Posts: 356
12/4/10 9:47 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Meredith ~ LOL!! emoticon

That is what I love so much about this spark team!! I know I can count on people sharing their honest and even raw thoughts and feelings about exactly what I am going through! Thank you for your candor.

I don't know why - but I am really "feeling" the loss of my breasts tonight. You are right - not being able to feel my breast is not sexy. Honestly (and without too much detail) ~ they were a very pleasurable (aka sensitive) part of my sexuality. Now when he touches me, I see him touch me and can feel some parts but it feels mostly awkward and it saddens me (which takes away from the moment) ~ I pray for this to pass ((crying now - lovely))

I like your point about not getting the nipple surgery -- why "pretend"? I didn't wear a wig while I went through chemo because I just felt so fake. hmmmmm... something to think about. I like Jody's chest tattoo~~ Maybe I should just get some butterflies and such? I don't know.

Thanks again for sharing -- and by the way -- you look great in your profile pic!!

It is not enough to simply show up. You need to step up for results.... keep on stepping! Dee


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
10.775
21.55
32.325
43.1
SWARMSOFLIZARDS's Photo SWARMSOFLIZARDS Posts: 231
12/4/10 9:34 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi Dee,

I'm also a month out from my replacement surgery, though I also have lat flaps. I don't have any problems with tenderness or lying on my side--I can actually lie on my stomach when I sleep sometimes. I also don't want to be too graphic, but my DH really isn't into them, either. I explain that he won't hurt me, since I have no sensation there, but that's not sexy, either!

My plastic surgeon suggested waiting about 12 weeks until the nipple creation. I'm still not sure whether or not I'll do it, though. I figure that the way they are now looks fine with clothes on, and even when I wear a bra, I don't think you could tell (unless you saw the giant back scars...). But if my DH won't ever think of them as "real" boobs, then why bother with the nips? I'm considering having tattoos done--something very un-natural, just so it will stop seeming like I'm trying to pass as having real breasts. Maybe a tartan or bright flowers filling the football-shaped scars.

Wow, that was a lot to vent...guess I have some pent up feelings on this issue!

emoticon

Meredith

"Imagine that in front of you is a castle. That's where you want to be. But surrounding that castle is a moat, full of piranha. The only way to get into Sexy Abs Castle is to swim across the moat and let the little fish painfully chew off hunks of fat. The real situation is exactly like that, only the swim will take years."
tinyurl.com/piranha-moat


 current weight: 151.0 
152
147.75
143.5
139.25
135
DEETHEDIETITIAN's Photo DEETHEDIETITIAN Posts: 356
12/4/10 9:07 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi all ~ Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving (for those of you that celebrate) ~ I did :0)

I am looking for feedback from those of you who have had a mastectomy with reconstruction.

As most of you know, I had a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction back in May. On November 5th I had my replacement surgery (chose silicone implants) ~ so ~ I am just one month out from that surgery (still have some stiches popping through) ~ anyway ~ I am feeling very disheartened :0( because I am still tender/uncomfortable lying on my side --
and
more importantly - I still flinch and feel weird when my honey touches my breasts. This, of course, causes him to be hesitant to touch me there. I'm not about to be graphic or share too much (LOL!) ~

My breast also still seem to be too firm (not as hard or uncompromising as the expanders but still much more firm and "unreal" than what I was hoping)...

Is it still too early for me to judge this or is this how it is going to be? I don't know if I really want the answer to this -- LOL -- but I do want the answer.

I see my plastic surgeon on Monday and will ask him but he just says I'm doing fine and all is well and I look great etc. ~ He also said that on Monday we will schedule the nipple surgery (I worry that my boobs might not be settled enough to actually do the nipple surgery - but then again, I would imagine he would know best!)

Any words of wisdom or experience you want to share would be greatly appreciated! :0)

Thanks everyone!

It is not enough to simply show up. You need to step up for results.... keep on stepping! Dee


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
10.775
21.55
32.325
43.1
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Breast Cancer Survivors and Those Who Care General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:
6/20/2020 1:10:08 AM
6/14/2020 10:37:04 PM
6/5/2020 5:14:55 PM
7/1/2019 10:16:22 AM



Thread URL: https://wfl.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x17755x38292339

Review our Community Guidelines