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4/6/19 3:15 P

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Rissa, I'm so sorry you are going through this, it sounds very difficult. I understand about not being able to drive. I'm not able to right now because of the possibility of seizure, until my neurologist clears me. My response times are slower because I have had either a migraine or tension headache constantly.

The migraines are now under control, the injections are working again. But, my anxiety has been so high I am clenching my jaw without realizing it, and possibly in my sleep. My jaw also clenches really tight when I have a seizure. So, it has done something to the muscles in my temples, I can't even open my mouth very wide, like for a normal bite of food, without getting a bad tension headache. I'm not sure how I'm going to survive my next dental appointment. but while there I'm going to get a referral to get a mouth guard for at night.



~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,893
4/5/19 8:34 P

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Audrey, I know how Xena feels. I finished long before everyone else, and I always have no matter what school I went to (including USC). I'm happy you are part of the YMCA!

Kari, thanks. They don't know what's going on anymore, at all.

Karri, sorry to hear about your dad. Even if it was a bad situation, he was still your dad so you'll have some feelings. ((hugs)). I'm glad you saw your therapist and I hope you are sorting out your feelings. Great job with the win with your husband!

Deb, they haven't found anything else, but they don't know what's going on. Mono is still a possibility, but they aren't sure. It's just crazy.


I'm still sick. They aren't sure what's going on at all, all I know is that it has something to do with food. I'm about to try some sausage cooked on my stove, so we'll see what that does. So far any food cooked on or in my stove has made me sick. All I can do is eat fast food and microwaved food. I'm way off my diet since I can't eat a lot of protein. I have no idea what's going on... I went off my diet last week and started to feel better with the addition of carbs. If I eat a carb-loaded chow mein or ramen when I'm feeling weak, normally I feel better. I don't understand at all, but I'm trying to figure it out. Salmon cooked at home makes me sick for a day and a half, but salmon at a buffet is fine.

On the plus side, today is a good day. I drove about 10 miles round trip, and that's the most I've driven in a long time, since this started on March 17th. It's been hard for me to get out of the house, and so I'm just happy that I was able to drive. It's actually harder than I thought getting back to driving since my body responds slower than it normally does, so being as alert as I need to be is hard. I won't be driving far, and only when I need to now that I know. I'm learning things about my "new" body as I go along.

~Rissa, AKA Diane
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4/4/19 5:17 A

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I finally had a huge win with my husband. I have several chronic illnesses and they have kept me in bed a lot over the past... well many, many months. The house is... well saying it is a mess is a bit of an understatement. If I'm not there telling my kids to do and watching them do it, they simply don't. And my husband is not much of a housekeeper either. And I have good intentions for cleaning, but my illnesses get in the way. Cleaning is normally my job, and I just can't keep up with it. So, last time I talked to DH about hiring someone to help, he wouldn't budge. I talked to my therapist about it yesterday and then talked to DH when I got home. To my surprise, he agreed, and we researched several local places. One to do initial and possibly weekly or bi-weekly cleaning, and another to come and clean the carpets after the initial cleaning is done.

I'm so relieved!

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
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4/3/19 6:29 P

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Sending love and smiles to everyone. (((hugs)))

Well done is better than well said.

Kari from Washington PST (Pacific Standard Time) www.poetbay.com/poetHome.php?writerI
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4/3/19 3:38 P

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Thanks all. I hope each of you is doing well.

Saw my therapist today, talking about accepting the good and the bad, and balance. Gray areas. Not everything is black and white. It doesn't help that my brother is being so horrible to everyone. He won't even tell anyone what funeral home or cemetery like it is a top secret. He says he'll tell my niece when she gets there, but threatened my nephew and told him he was not welcome.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE Posts: 9,896
4/3/19 12:14 P

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So... I officially am a member of the YMCA now. I havr to ask to get a tour though because it was busy when we we're there earlier and that place is confusing as all get out!

Audrey
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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 16,126
4/3/19 11:24 A

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'Rissa, I hope that you feel better soon. Mono is no fun. I had it when I was in college and missed a semester of school, because of it. Did they find anything else ? Not that having Mono isn't enough, but it sounds like you are suffering from more than one thing. I hope that you have been able to work things out with work.

Karri, I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. He was your Dad no matter what, whether you were close to him or not. Of course, you are going to be upset and confused. I hope that you can resolve your feelings. Again, so very sorry for your loss.

Audrey, It is so cool that Xenia is so advanced in school !! We got a new couch that was so big they couldn't get it through the door without some serious manipulating , so I can relate to "big" furniture. How wonderful that you were able to get new furniture !! Congratulations on both Xenia and the new furniture !!

I haven't been doing much of anything the past few days. I have been cleaning house and stocking up the kitchen for the month. I did some grocery shopping yesterday and I will do the majority of the rest today. I have to make several trips to the store by bus to haul in all my supplies, but I get it done. I need some staples and some meat, so there isn't much left to do. I can easily haul all my stuff home in one load today. I have to make a grocery list, so that I don't do any impulse shopping.. Lately, I have had a wicked sweet tooth. I haven't fallen too far from the tree, but it is becoming problematic. I hope that everyone have a great week. Sending positive energy and emoticon to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Edited by: DEBTEVELDAHL at: 4/3/2019 (11:25)
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4/2/19 9:31 A

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Karri - I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It's okay to feel sad even if he wasn't a good influence in your life, he's a part of it no matter. Take some time to grieve and just focus on your breathing.

Audrey
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4/2/19 5:44 A

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Rissa, I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time! I'm susceptible to having shingles as well, because I had chicken pox, despite having been vaccinated, when I was 5.

Audrey, I hope you get things worked out for Xena, my youngest is in a similar situation, but we are working to get her put in all 'accelerated' classes next year in middle school. It doesn't help that my DD is very shy and keeps to herself and some of her classmates see that as her thinking she is better than them, when in reality she has severe anxiety and has a hard time with making friends. I'm glad she has a best friend that watches out for her.

Got word last night that Pop (my dad) passed away yesterday. Not sure how I feel about that. I haven't talked to him in years, he was abusive and manipulative... I don't know. I feel like I can't breath when I think about it. I'm very conflicted.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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3/30/19 3:26 P

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Rissa, I'm so sorry to hear you have mono and whatever else. wow, Shingles is no joke that's so painful! emoticon Take care of your self!

Well done is better than well said.

Kari from Washington PST (Pacific Standard Time) www.poetbay.com/poetHome.php?writerI
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3/30/19 9:34 A

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Yes, it's over. Thank goodness.

So, we got new furniture today, It's a lot bigger than I thought in the store. I have lots of reorganizing to do.

Xena tested as gifted. Her teacher confirms that it's becoming an issue in class because she finishes long before her classmates. She's been occupying her with educational iPad time, but then the other kids get jealous. Looking into other schools for her and the possibility of K12.

Audrey
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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,893
3/29/19 9:52 P

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Audrey, I hope you're done with your period by now! I got off work for a while.. I don't know when I go back, but not for a while. I need to find out when, but I'm really not ready to go back yet.

Kari, great job!

Karri, try and catch up on sleep when you can! I don't know if what I have came from lack of sleep, but I do know that it started after a night of bad sleep!

Linda, welcome! Feel free to hang out and ask away!


I'm still trying to figure things out. I tested positive for mono, but have all these random other things, too. Like how when I eat a steak today, I can't walk suddenly again, but eating beef last night was okay. I also had some shingles (yes, shingles at age 36) symptoms yesterday and was in the ER where they said that. I went off keto and felt better after a day, so who knows if it is diet related. I'm still far from normal, but I can at least walk most days now. I'm baffled, and really don't know what's going on with my body. I see my primary doctor again to report to him my new discoveries. Hopefully I don't get another episode in his office like I have the past couple of times, but if I do I know his office is another trigger. All these fun fun things!

~Rissa, AKA Diane
Pacific Time Zone

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3/23/19 6:40 P

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Welcome to the group, Linda !! You are in the right place if you need support !! Deb emoticon :) :)

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
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3/23/19 6:10 P

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Of course you are welcome, Linda!

Audrey
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Weight Warrior Winter 2020
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3/23/19 4:01 P

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Hey everyone,


I'm wondering if it's okay if I join this team. I don't have bipolar but my dear daughter does. She was also recently diagnose with fibromyalgia. And I'd just like a place to hang out maybe get some inspiration to be a better caregiver. She lives in her own home next door to me, and is very independent.



Linda

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3/23/19 2:01 P

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Rissa, I hope your job is understanding and that you figure out what is going on.

Audrey, hope your period goes away soon too!

Kari, Yay for your weight loss and NSV!

I am feeling awful today. Tried to take a nap and kept going in and out of sleep, and got too hot. I have had major problems with my insomnia this week and I kinda am leaning toward thinking that my body is just too exhausted, even though I got some sleep last night, it wasn't enough to make up for several nights of no sleep.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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3/22/19 4:36 P

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I second that I hope you feel better Rissa and get to the bottom of what is wrong.

Hey, guys, I'm down another 3.2 pounds this week for a total of 16 pounds this month so far! YAY This morning I was able to clip my own toenails which is something I haven't been able to do for a long time. Yay me!

Well done is better than well said.

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3/22/19 10:28 A

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Rissa, I'm so sorry that you've been so sick. I hope your job understands. I got fired over having mono years ago... Well mostly because I told my DM where he could shove his inventory when he told me I had to come in when I could barely crawl to the bathroom.

So... I got my period. It's only been 2.5 years since the last. And it's only my 6th or so since getting pregnant with Xena in 2010. I didn't miss it. Cramping through the ibuprofen and just miserable. I hope it's over sooner than later.

Audrey
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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,893
3/22/19 2:41 A

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Kari, the migraine medicine worked and I felt good enough to work on Saturday. I'll tell the rest of the story in my section.

Audrey, I got over it, but something else happened... don't know what! Glad to hear Colt is learning to use the potty!

Deb, I talked to my doctor, but he doesn't want to write me the note yet. I'll see him on Monday for a follow up and I'll talk to him again then. I wasn't much when I saw him on Wednesday. Good luck with your new gym!


So, I went to work on Saturday night and I had a good night. I was off my diet and had a bunch of food with my coworkers. I come home, drink some ketones to go back on my diet (like I've done a ton of times), and go to sleep. I have a bad night's sleep, so I take an extra 5 mg of melatonin (for a total of 10 mg, once again nothing new), and I try and go back to sleep. I wake up exhausted, and I have this burning pain all over my body and I'm very weak. I don't know what's going on, so I call in sick to work saying I have stomach cramps. I feel so heavy and every nerve ending feels like it's on fire. I've had this before when I don't sleep, so I figure a good night's sleep will cure it. I sleep all night and day on Sunday, but when Monday night comes I wake up and still feel very heavy (but the nerve pain is gone). I go to Urgent Care, and they don't know what's wrong with me. They run some blood tests, a flu test and check to see if I have a UTI. Everything comes back negative, so I don't know what to do. All I know is that I don't feel normal.

I have to call in sick to work on Monday again, and I get a nasty text from a coworker saying I have no loyalty since I called in sick 2 days in a row. I'm sick, tired, and upset so I start crying on the phone to a friend. Tuesday I feel even worse. I can barely get out of bed, not to mention move my car for street cleaning. I have to go to CVS to pick up some meds, but Richard drives me. I almost fall getting out of the car, since I'm so weak. I have a doctor's appointment Wednesday morning, so I try and sleep Tuesday night. That night, suddenly all my senses go on high alert and I have to take a shower (for the first time in a couple of days), and I can even smell the chlorine in the water I'm showering in. I lie back down, and when the time comes, make my way to the doctor (via Lyft) on Wednesday morning.

My doctor is stumped. He said it's probably not something autoimmune like fibromyaliga because I was fine on Saturday and then I was so sick on Sunday. He's testing me for things like mono since he has no idea what's going on with me. I almost faint while there, since I can barely get up to do yet another urine test for another UTI. Still negative. So I go back again to see him this coming Monday, but I don't know what he's going to tell me. Last night (Wednesday night) I start to feel a tiny bit better and can actually cook some ground beef that's about to spoil.

I'm feeling a lot better (but not nearly 100%) today. I did things today that were impossible 2 days ago. I took a shower, drove, and cooked. I had a friend over. I couldn't have done that a couple of days ago. But I know I can't lift a patient to change a diaper yet. I don't know what to do... I've already called into work for so many days. I'm supposed to go back in on Saturday, but right now that seems impossible. I'm going to call my doctor and see if I do have mono, because if I do, then I really can't go to work since it's highly contagious.

Oh yeah- no coughing, no sneezing, very little pain, no fever, and no idea why I'm feeling the way I am. Lots of frustration, though!

~Rissa, AKA Diane
Pacific Time Zone

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3/21/19 10:10 A

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Hi Deb! Everyone is all good here. Colt is slowly learning to use the potty!

Audrey
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3/21/19 9:16 A

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Hi everybody,

'Rissa, I hear you about not working too many days in a row. Being a caregiver is exhausting on its best day. It is physically and mentally demanding and working too many hours in a row can lead to burnout and injury. I'm sure that your new schedule of working two days in a row, then a third alternate day will work out great for you. I admire you greatly for your career choice. There is nothing greater than service to others. I hope that your migraine meds kicked in before work. Working with a migraine can be brutal.

Kari, Thank you for the St. Patrick's Day wishes. I hope that yours was a stellar one too.

Hi Audrey, How are the kids? How are you?

I got signed up at my new fitness location. I have applied for and received membership in our area Parks and Recreation Center. I am excited, although nervous and feeling a little out of place. I will have to cancel my membership with Crunch, the gym I've been with for 9 years. That alone makes me feel insecure. However, in addition to a gym with a personal trainer available if you need or want one, they have a pool, fitness classes and day care on site. I am excited to have a pool to swim in. I love swimming and I will probably take one of their aerobic swim classes. I am looking forward to the pool and Pilates. I am going in today for my tour of the facility. I guess that I'd better hit Target and J.C. Penny's for swim suits. I haven't bought one in about 25 years, so this ought to be good. lol

Hello everybody else !! Have a great remainder of your week and a wonderful weekend ahead. Sending positive energy and hugs to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon :)



Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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3/18/19 10:04 A

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Sorry about your Migraine, Rissa! I hope you feel better soon!

Audrey
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Only eat when hungry.
Drink that water!!!


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3/17/19 5:08 A

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Feel better Rissa, migraines are awful. I hope the medicine works for you! Glad to hear you are coming out of depression though. Depression is the worst feeling.

Well done is better than well said.

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3/17/19 12:10 A

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Deb, I journaled and I figured out a step in getting back to liking what I do. I need to ask for my days non-consecutive. I can work 2 days, then have a day off then another day. I feel great on Saturday, but by Monday I feel like crap. So I think that will help me a lot.

Karri, I think I jinxed myself talking about the migraines... I have a low-grade one right now, and I have to work tonight. Hopefully when I take my pills in a bit it goes away. I'm waiting a bit to see, since I don't want to have to take them at work. Oh well. I just took one now and I'll see if it kicks in by the time I get there. I leave in an hour and a half. I'm so happy you got to pamper yourself! Good luck with those episodes... I don't know what to tell you, but just take care of yourself!


I'm doing okay today. I got a ton of sleep last night, but I have a slight migraine. I just hope it goes away soon. I took my pills for it a little ago, so hopefully they kick in and I can have a good night at work. Monday, I'm going to tell the scheduler to not schedule me for 3 days in a row so I can get some rest between days. I can work Saturday, Sunday, and Thursdays if they want. Those are the days I want to work, actually. I know they need help on Thursdays a lot, so it should be good for them. It's just too hard for me physically to work 3 days in a row. I'm so glad I said I would only work 3 days and not 4... I don't know how I would do 4. I think my body would break down. Yeah, I have to work a lot longer to get my 500 hours completed, but at the same time I don't get fired or quit because I can't take it.

I'm coming out of my depression, which is good. I'm off my diet today, but will be back on it soon. I don't like being off it for long, since I don't like the way I feel, but I do like the food I get to eat! lol. I made cookies yesterday, so I had some of those and I'm going to bring them to work tonight. After they're gone, I'm going back on the diet and being good again for a while. I think I'm going to go make myself a cup of coffee while I shower, then get ready for work. Happy St. Paddy's day, everyone! emoticon

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3/16/19 9:24 A

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Morning all!

Deb, good luck with the swimsuit, when I still had most of my weight on I had to order online too, there just weren't any options locally, and I wanted one of those that had the skirt you could wear to cover my thighs (me being self-conscious).

I'm hoping for a productive weekend. My anxiety has been really high, getting worse throughout the day, except for the day of pampering I had, I felt wonderful that day, my anxiety did go up and down, but I was able to manage it. I had what I think was a few dissociative episodes, which did not help my anxiety. I see my p-doc and therapist next week though and hope we can do something.

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3/16/19 8:45 A

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Good luck finding a swimsuit Deb I had to order mine online as they didn't have any in the store.

Well done is better than well said.

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3/15/19 9:36 P

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Hi Ladies !!

Kari, I take Wellbrutrin and Abilify. The Abilify takes the place of the Depakote. I didn't like the way that I felt with the Depakote, so we tried Abilify instead and that has worked just fine for the most part. I know some of the other members have tried Wellbutrin and it didn't agree with them, but it has worked well for me.

Karri, Your date with your DH sounds so fun. At least the events leading up to the event were fun. Getting to primp is a right not a privilege, so I bet that felt good. It sounds like even if the actual event weren't all that great, the date night was. Congratulations !!

I just joined the local area Parks and Recreation Center. I can work out, swim, join exercise classes. They have a Pilates one on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 9:30 am that sounds fun. I would rather start out with Pilates and then go to Yoga. Both of them are something to explore. There are several different classes for the pool. I don't know, I will probably go with some sort of water aerobic. I don't want to push it too hard. I think probably swimming on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and Pilates on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We'll see. I am excited, because I can take Micah and they have day care available. He can go with me to the pool at open swim. It will be fun that we can share together. Now, I just have to find a bathing suit. Target here I come. lol

Have a wonderful weekend !! Sending positive energy and hugs to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

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Deb, what do you take for bipolar? You said they took you off of Depakote because of weight gain I'm just curious.

Well done is better than well said.

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Hi Kari! I'm glad you have not been hospitalized in 3 years! It's been 2 for me. Latuda caused me to have seizures, or at least that is what they think started the seizures. It's a very low risk with that med, but apparently, I'm one of the lucky few, lol.

Dreamed, I'm glad to hear you are doing good! Don't worry about the cookies, they are sneaky like that, lol. Just learn from it and move on!

Rissa, finding your passion can be hard, I wish you all the best in it!

Deb, water aerobics sounds like so much fun, especially with the weather getting warmer soon (hopefully!).

I had several dissociative episodes this week, or at least that is what I think they may have been. My anxiety has been really high, but my depression has lessened. I actually had a pretty good day yesterday with a mani/pedi, makeup, and hair done for an event with DH's work. It was really nice to feel pampered. My migraine stayed low with the help of my meds and constant tylenol. The event was very boring, but I didn't mind. I spent the evening with DH and we went out to eat afterwards because the catered food was awful.

I had messaged my p-doc about the episodes and his advice was to not drive during them. Kind of hard to do when I'm in the middle of driving when it happens. I messaged my therapist as well to see if she can get me in next week, I'm due to see her the following week, but since all this is happening, I feel like I need to see her sooner. She agreed and will get back with me Monday when she is in the office.

My migraine knocked me on my butt this afternoon. It's been kinda lingering, just there but not so bad that I need to lay down, then all of the sudden it just exploded. I'm up from laying down for hours and may need to go lay down again, looking at the computer is not helping. But, injections next Wednesday and hopefully they will last longer this time around!

~ Karri
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3/14/19 6:27 A

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Hi everybody,

Dreamed, girl scout cookies are a grave temptation for me too. My daughter bought some for me, trying to be nice and thoughtful. I am still trying to avoid the sweetness of Do - Si - Dos and Thin Mints. I have a tendency to eat them all until they are gone. I am glad that girl scout cookie season is over now. It ended this last week, I believe. Cookies are a downfall period.

Karri, I am so sorry that you are suffering still with the migraines and the depression/anxiety. I suffer from them too, but I seem to have been in remission or something, because I haven't had one in over a month. That for me is a feat !I hope that you find a medication that is effective for easing your pain.

Kari, You sound as if you are in much better space than you were a few years ago. Your meds must be working well for you now. I used to take Depakote, but they took me off of it about five years ago. My Abilify works great for mania. I had weight problems with Depakote. I don't have that now. There are so many medications out there now that help with bipolar mania and depression. I am lucky my cocktail has worked great for me for a very long time. It is wonderful to be stable after so many years of instability.

'Rissa, you have a job that is thankless and hard. Helping people with their ADL's is not an easy task. Mental Health in a institutional atmosphere is interesting and fun. I worked in the Psyche unit for about 10 years before I quit my CNAness and I loved every minute of it. It is a wide open field and being bipolar you have a special sense of what mental health patients need. You would be great in mental health. Keep well. It is so easy to run yourself down and wear yourself out when you work in an assisted living facility.

Audrey, I hope that you and the kids are in good health and that everything is going smoothly for you right now.

I haven't been doing much. I have just joined my area Parks and Recreation gym and pool. I will start my first day at the gym today. I have gotten a special rate, which makes it affordable. It will cost me 5.00 more a month than my gym now, but it has a pool and day care if I need it available for my use. It is much better than the gym I am with now, because I want to take some water aerobic classes and the pool feature is a huge draw for me. I have been with my current gym for 9 years, so I am reluctant to leave, but I can't afford the two together and that would be redundant anyway. I am excited about a new place to be. They have Pilates classes and I have wanted to take a Pilates class for a long time. This gym offers me many more amenities than my other gym does right now. I can take Micah for a small fee, with me and he can play in the pool along with Grandma. It will be fun this summer taking him to swimming lessons. I am looking forward to it.

I hope that you are all having a great March. Have a terrific St. Patrick's Day on Sunday !! Spring is a wonderful time of the year ! I hope that your snows are melting, the flowers are blooming and the weather will get better and better. Have a tremendous weekend ahead. Sending positive energy and hugs to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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3/14/19 5:14 A

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Dreamed, you're not giving yourself enough credit! If you're still here, then you always persevered when it was really hard! Just take it one day at a time, one second at a time if you have to when it does get hard. I know that it's easier now, but it might get hard again.

Audrey, bananas help you sleep? They are great for everything! I sure wish I could eat them again! (they aren't keto, with the sugar they would make me feel sick)

Karri, I hope you aren't sick! I'm battling depression, too... I'm coming down from a mixed episode, so depression normally follows for me. I get migraines, too, but I haven't had one in a little bit, just headaches. ((hugs)) and feel better soon!

Kari (it's weird having a Karri and a Kari lol), I'm glad you found what works for you! Latuda does wonders for me, too! I was taking too much of it, though, and it was making me suicidal so they lowered my dose and I'm doing a lot better. These medications are so strange!


I'm doing okay. I'm coming out of a depression, which sucks, but I'm glad it's getting better. I was supposed to work tomorrow to make up for a sick day I took on Saturday (without a doctor's note, sadly), but I can't. I might get a note for tomorrow, but it's not really a sick day since I wasn't fully sure I could make it tomorrow. I just have to lose a day of work. I don't mind too much since I still have my SSDI for now. Saturday, I couldn't work since I ate something bad and was in the bathroom all night. It's my second sick day in a few weeks, but I can't help it. I just hope I don't take any more soon and this depression lifts.

I'm a nurse. I clean butts for a living right now. I need to figure out my purpose and find out what I like about it. I'm always going to deal with people who are hard to deal with, bullies and the like. So I need to find my passion again and find out why I got back into this field into the first place. I really want to work in mental health (I'm in an assisted living facility instead because of contract issues) so I'm just going to do my contract and try and get into mental health and see how I like that instead. But still.. I have to survive for a few more months in this facility, so I need to do some journaling and figure it out.

~Rissa, AKA Diane
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3/13/19 6:13 P

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I am doing well with my bipolar and haven't needed to be hospitalized for 3 years now. I'm taking Depakote and Latuda and it's worked better for me than any other cocktail I've taken over the years. I gained a lot of weight when I was on Lithium but I got off of that and I was allergic to Lamictal got a terrible rash. Seroquel made me catatonic.

Well done is better than well said.

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3/11/19 4:57 A

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Hi all! It's been a while, I've read most of y'alls replies since my last comment, but can't keep it all in my head, lol. I've been dealing with those darn migraines and battling depression and anxiety. Everybody in the house has been sick off and on for two weeks. I finally thought we got rid of it, went and visited Grandma in MS, then last night my YDD comes and tells me she's been sick. I just hope it was being in the car for so long and nothing that Grandma could have caught, she is not doing well and in her 90's. We had already delayed the trip because of sickness the week before.

Girl Scout cookies are like that!! I have had to turn away all of the Girl Scouts that have shown up at our door this year, because if I buy them, I will eat them all.



~ Karri
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3/5/19 9:28 A

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Girl Scout cookies are evil like that! Might I suggest a banana next time? They contain tryptan to help you sleep!

Audrey
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3/5/19 5:49 A

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Last night I couldnít sleep so I ate a few cookies ( when I canít sleep eating something seems to help I donít know why) Well a few cookies turned into the rest of the box (Girl Scout cookies) So I feel bad about that
But otherwise I am doing very well I am making progress with my mental illness after 40 yrs of struggle! I canít believe it I did something I never did before-persevering even when it is really really hardIím so happy

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2/21/19 5:40 A

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Deb, thanks for the reminder about the flu! I did get my flu shot (required for work), but people around me have been sick, so I just took a Vitamin C and got some Powerade Zero for electrolytes. The last thing I need is to get sick and not be able to work, so soon into starting work. How's the arm now? I hope it's healing fast!

Audrey, it sucks that you're gaining weight. I didn't gain weight with Abilify, and when I did my research on it, it was supposed to be weight neutral (but Deb said weight gain?). I don't know if that helps you at all (probably not). Being overwhelmed sucks, and I get that. Just take it as slow as you need to, (even one second at a time if you have to), to make it through the day. Hopefully the gym helps, too.

I'm doing well. Night shift is great, most of the residents are sleeping, and like Deb said, I don't have to feed anyone (which I don't mind too much, but it's still more work). I can spend some time talking to my fellow nurses, or doing my charting early (BIG help!!). Depending on what assignment I get, there's always at least one resident who's heavy on the call light, but they try and split it up between the nurses. When there's 5 of us, it's really nice. When there's 4 of us, it's kinda hard. But now I'm getting the hang of it. I can change diapers a lot faster now! I still have to start my changes at 4 am to be done by 6 (we answer lights between 6-7) for 14 people, but still. I'm doing a lot better. Then I try and finish my charting between 7-7:30, and I'm out of there! When there's only 4 of us, we have 16-18 residents, so it's a lot more and I have to start at 3:30, and then sometimes I have to change the people I changed at the beginning by the time I'm done (which sucks!).

I'm looking forward to tomorrow (well, later today). I'm supposed to hang out with a friend, then go see a movie. I'm going to try and wake up early (3 pm) to give me about an hour and a half with my friend before I get to go to the movies. I'm seeing Alita, Battle Angel. I wanted to see "Isn't It Romantic" but Richard had seen it already and said it wasn't that great. Then Friday I want to see "Fighting With My Family" since I like wresting (surprise!) lol. I'm looking forward to a nice time off.

~Rissa, AKA Diane
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2/19/19 7:35 A

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Hi 'Rissa,

I'm so glad that you checked in. I've been thinking about you and wondering how the job was going and what shift/location you would have. I'm glad to hear that you are thriving and that the job is good. Nocs is a great shift for new personnel. It is a fairly quiet time of day and there are no meals to have to feed. You do have to help get people up in the morning for their breakfast and to get started on their day, which can be challenging. I am so excited for you starting off on a medical career, which will only expand from here. Congratulations on your successes !! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

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2/19/19 4:46 A

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Deb sorry to hear about your arm! That sucks. I hope you feel better soon. I'm glad you're getting out with friends.

Audrey I don't know how it is with kids so I don't have any advice to give you. I am happy that you're getting a gym membership!

I'm good. The replies are short since I'm at work and typing on my phone and trying to remember who said what. I normally have multiple windows open so I can reply to everyone. I work graveyard shift so it's about 2 am. I have to go in a second to reposition someone then go on break. I like my shift and I'm adjusting well to nights. I can sleep in the morning fine for the most part. I don't have to do too much at night so I like it. I do like my job so that's good. Anyway I have to go now but I wanted to say hi and that I'm good!

~Rissa, AKA Diane
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2/18/19 9:50 A

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Audrey,

That is soooo cool about the gym membership. It is such a good opportunity to get in a little adult me time and work out. I think that getting off on your own will be so good for you. My daughter is waiting on her tax return too. She is anxiously awaiting getting a new couch.

We had the nicest day yesterday. We all met - my son, my daughter in law, my daughter, the kids and three very close friends, whom we hadn't seen in a long time - at the Kennedy School, in Portland for brunch. It was the best time that I've had in ages. I was very aware of what I ate and I made them give me a doggie bag right off the bat, so that I could take at least half of my meal home. We laughed a lot and talked about life, work, families and friends. Everyone was so compatible and happy. Even the kids sat, mostly still, for the three hours that we were at the restaurant. We let them watch the tablet, so that the adults could talk and visit. I was so pleased that the day was such a success. I love getting together with friends and family. We try to do it once a week on Sunday. Sometimes we can't make it to all the brunches in a month, due to financial restraints and other restrictions, but it sure is fun when we can. Have a great start to your week everyone !! Take care and God bless, Deb

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I've been on the Abilify about 3 months now. And yes, snowy weather and lots of snow days for the kids. Plus some car troubles lately, so it's really no wonder I'm feeling depressed and overwhelmed. I'm (impatiently) waiting on the tax return right now because Rob is going to let me get a gym membership. I think being able to get that little bit of "me time" when I can escape there is going to help a lot. Not to mention lessen the weight gain.

Audrey
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2/17/19 10:14 P

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Hi Audrey, How long have you been on Abilify? I was rapid cycling when they put me on it and it helped almost immediately. Kids, winter and depression can lead you to be overwhelmed. I don't know what your weather is like, but ours when it snows, keeps the kids home from school. I hope that you can isolate the weight gain problem. Abilify does have weight gain as a side effect. I hope that you feel less overwhelmed soon. Deb

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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2/17/19 12:26 P

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Colt has pretty much banned me from the computer. It's so hard getting on without his "help". I'm gaining weight right now like crazy. I don't know if it's the Abilify or just me not being "good". But at least I'm not suicidal. Though still feeling overwhelmed and maybe a little depressed.

Audrey
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2/16/19 8:30 A

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Good morning, peeps !

Sorry that I have been MIA, but I broke my left arm in two places, got an infection, and then came down with the flu for over a week. The high temps left me weak and unproductive. I even got a flu shot earlier this year. I do not see the value of a flu shot now. I had the flu just as badly as everyone else. The shot did not help with the severity of the symptoms, as far as I could tell. I ran a 103 degree temperature for four days, before it started coming back down again. I am still running a low grade fever -100.0 - which I hope will clear up soon. Be very careful if you haven't had the flu. Wash your hands and take precautions not to become exposed to it, if possible. Micah got it along with me and we have been miserable together for it's duration. Micah just got to go back to school yesterday, but he is still running a low grade fever too. This stuff is hard to shake.

Larissa, So, how is the night shift working out for you? Do you like your job and the hours that you work? How are you doing with the 5% Challenge? Are the Challenges harder now that you are working?

I see that no one has posted much in the last two or three weeks. I hope that you're all doing well and that you are excelling with your goals. I suspect that the weather may be affecting many adversely this winter season. We had snow last Tuesday. It was just enough to be pretty, let the kids build snow men and then it melted in two days. The Columbia River Gorge got slammed though. They are still getting snow, just 20 minutes away from me. We are right on the warm cusp of the poor weather front, so we are not experiencing the troubles that they are. We are experiencing heavy, heavy rainfall with flood warnings daily. So, while we don't have the snow, we do have the flooding. We are getting beaucoup rain right now too.

I hope that you all have a wonderfilled weekend !! Take care if you are experiencing very inclement weather. Be safe out there. Take care and God bless, Deb :) :)

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
Portland, Or
Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge 2019
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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1/19/19 6:02 A

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Larissa-thanks for your good wishes
I have logged my food for the last few days and that is a step forward I will go to my weight class next Fri and see how I weigh in If I keep this up it should be good

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1/18/19 8:45 P

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Karri, as far as I know the credit card thing is resolved. I didn't get charged, and they are sending me a new one. I haven't gotten it yet, but I should get it any day now. Glad to hear you're not as depressed, but sorry to hear your puppy is sick!

Dreamed, good luck! I use My Fitness Pal to track my food, but Spark People is good, too! I like the community here, but I find MFP easier to use to track.

Annalie, Hi! Welcome! I've heard of bullet journals but never got one. I'm not organized, but I need to be! I need to get a schedule down so I have a bit more control over my life and I don't go (as) crazy!


I'm doing a lot better! I got off the Invega and back on the Latuda. I just started back on the Latuda today, so we'll see if the hallucination stop soon. If not, I'll have to bump it up a bit more. But I'm just happy to be off the Invega. I know it works for a lot of people, but I didn't like the mood swings. I have a lot of mixed episodes, and the Latuda helps with that. I need to get a schedule down once I get settled with work. I'll be working nights, so that's going to suck at first.

I tried waking up later today, and woke up at 7:40 am!! I went to sleep later (11:20 pm), but couldn't sleep in. I think it was because it was hotter with my new weighted blanket. We'll see how I do tonight. It did help me fall asleep fast, but then I woke up early, hot. I need to wake up as late as I can, and stay up as late as I can to get used to overnights. I don't know how I'll do tonight, as tired as I am now (6 pm). I want to stay up till midnight to try and get my body adjusted. Next week I have to be up at least that late, since I'll be working 3 pm - 11:30 pm.

I'm just so unsure right now. And in pain. I worked 7 am - 3:30 pm this week and that's the hardest shift and I'm sore and tired from moving patients and making beds. Hopefully I can heal and feel better. The weighted blanket does help my pain! I'll get under it in a minute once I'm done on the laptop. I just have to do some more stuff, then I'll relax.

~Rissa, AKA Diane
Pacific Time Zone

5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Summer, Spring, Winter 2019 Challenge Leader
5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Fall, Summer, Spring, Winter 2018, 2017 Challenge Leader
5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Fall 2016, Member.

Co-Leader of the Living With Bipolar Team!

"Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All" ~Whitney Houston
"Today is the Tomorrow I fought for Yesterday"


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1/17/19 4:53 P

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emoticon Just want to say "hallo". I have positive thoughts and bought a 'bullet journal' as they call it to organise my life. Routine must become part of my new way of thinking. Well, I'm going to try hard to stick to it. I want, I must make something of myself this year!!!!!

Really hope you are well. From the posts I read, most of you sound great.

Annalie from West Coast, South Africa


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1/15/19 7:06 P

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Bad enough to be sick yourself but your puppy too!

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1/15/19 5:02 P

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DREAMED1, good luck! I know I do better when I track too.

I'm feeling better this week, even though I'm sick (sinus). My pup, Hope, is sick too. So lots of outside time today for her. But I'm happy I'm not so depressed that I'm making excuses to hide in bed.

Hope everyone is doing well!

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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1/15/19 7:02 A

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I am trying to get back on track with SparkPeople specifically with recording what I eat every day But I do one day here a few meals there I really want to get on track with Spakpeople because I have made progress in general with my life and feel that I cam get the good out of the program more so now Weíll anyway wish me luck! (and thank you to all who responded to my last post)

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1/6/19 6:31 P

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DREAMED1, I too feel you with the sister thing. Right now it is my husband's Aunt. Most of the time she is okay, but she can really make me get defensive.

Rissa, I hope the whole thing with your credit card gets resolved soon!

My insomnia is still wreaking havoc, though I was actually able to take a short nap today! I went to lay back down because I was still feeling sleepy, and the church behind our house started their thumpy music again. I love that they are doing so well, but man are they LOUD!

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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