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SUBURBANCOWGIRL's Photo SUBURBANCOWGIRL Posts: 1,370
4/12/10 12:59 P

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Sandra,
I know what you mean. I am close to 50 too and having the energy is difficult sometimes. The business is definitely filled with ups and downs and I recently went back to school so that if things don't pick up I may end up doing something else. But this is what I love to do, there is just not enough stability. My husband thinks he's doing me a favor when he stops at the store for me on his way home when what I would really love is for him to come home and make dinner and let ME get out of the house for a little bit. Especially since my youngest son can be trying at times. He has ADHD and tourettes and there are days that he wears my patience thin.
Ok back to my kiddies. Have a great day

Karen



I'm gonna kick off my shoes and run in bare feet, where the grass and the dirt and the gravel all meet=Keith Urban


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4/12/10 12:19 P

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Thanks Karen, I'm glad you were able to see the good in losing your little girl. This is such an up and down job. It never stays steady. That's been hard on my dh at times since he pays the bills and handles the money. The daycare homes are decreasing in my area too, more people are using centers I guess, which is strange since parents always tell me they want in-home care. But centers offer preschool, transportation and more staff. I was told by a parent that because of all the abuse happening in daycare homes people were being cautious.
I try to have the older ones watch movies or play quietly during nap time but it still isn't like having a break from kids during the day. It's hard to go directly from work to family when we don't have a transition. For most people there is the drive home but we are already here so I usually waste time playing on the computer or read or something before I start cooking supper. I used to take walks before my foot became so messed up. Exercise is really the best thing to do and I need to be more motivated. I did do my back exercises this morning early and it helps. At 50, I don't have the energy I used to have and I feel guilty for not being the provider I used to be. But I've gained more patience through the years so maybe it evens out. emoticon

Sandra

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. " Isaiah 30:15

There are no excuses, only choices.

Failure is not defeat unless you stop trying.


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SUBURBANCOWGIRL's Photo SUBURBANCOWGIRL Posts: 1,370
4/11/10 8:36 P

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Sandra,
No problem, that's what we are here for. That was my winter last year. I ended up needing 2 surgeries and had some issues with my son so I needed to take off more time than I would have liked. I lost one child because of it and at first I was quite upset. I had her from the time she was an infant up until she left me at 2 1/2 years old. I know it was the back up provider working on mom's fears about her not being able to do back up if she got more kids that finally got to her. I thought that was such a low thing to do, especially since we all are suppose to support and help each other. It turned out that, although I miss the money, it was a much needed break at the right time for me and gave me the boost that I needed to go back to school. I believe that everything happens for a reason. It's just so hard because like you said, we invest a great deal of time and energy and love in to the children that we care for. I get very attached to them and so do my own children. My boys cried as much as I did when they all left to move on. I have gotten past my feelings and realized that she had to do what she felt was best for her and we still stay in touch but I won't ever refer this other provider as a backup to anyone in the future that's for sure.
Things have been very slow in this area. I talk to other providers and no one is getting calls. I hope it picks up soon.
I hope that you manage to get some time in for you. Do you have a regular rest time for the children during the day? When I had the older children they had quiet time while the babies napped. This way I was at least able to straighten up a bit. It's tough when you put in long days and then have to care for your own family when the daycare children leave. I try to organize meals so that I get a few minutes to breath before I jump in to getting dinner on the table.


Karen



I'm gonna kick off my shoes and run in bare feet, where the grass and the dirt and the gravel all meet=Keith Urban


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4/11/10 8:12 P

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March was hard for me, I had full house all month, a new baby, bad weather and sick kids. In fact, this was the hardest winter I've ever had. I had some problems with medication causing dizziness and have pretty much corrected that, but it just added to my stress and frustration. The money was great but I was exhausted! Then last week I found out the two hardest kids I have were quitting, not because of me but because the aunt (legal guardian) was worried the 4 year old was developmentally behind and needed daily preschool. I suspect it was easier on auntie to find a daycare/preschool combo so she wouldn't have to transport the child back and forth and I certainly understand that. At first I felt bad as I had poured so much of myself into helping those kids overcome a traumatic time in their lives. Mom is in jail and they had to go live with relatives, they had raised themselves and didn't mind at first at all and had all kinds of emotional issues. They have come so far and now leaving. but I am relieved now, things are quieter without them and I needed the break. I work10 hour days every day with no breaks, and have something every weekend so I was getting pretty mentally overloaded. Because I couldn't fit exercise in last week I ended up with back spasms yesterday so I HAVE to find time for me or I am going to be sick. Sorry about the long post, I don't really have anyone else to vent to so this board has been great for me. I just feel really burned out right now but when spring gets here for good it will help us all a lot I think.
Have a good week everyone, I hope it's better for us all!

Sandra

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. " Isaiah 30:15

There are no excuses, only choices.

Failure is not defeat unless you stop trying.


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SUBURBANCOWGIRL's Photo SUBURBANCOWGIRL Posts: 1,370
4/10/10 10:58 P

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Hi ladies,
I am sure we all share the same frustrations and yes it is a job that we can quickly burn out from if we don't take care of ourselves too. I also belong to a group of providers in my area and we bounce complaints or ideas off of each other. It helps. I think the most difficult thing is to get the validation that we deserve. We know what we do all day but some of the parents and others feel that we are "just babysitters" I don't know about you but I find that frustrating. I find if I do a newsletter that goes home with the children the parents can see that what we do is very important in their child's development. I use to feel guilty when I needed to take a day off but I no longer do. I tell my parents up front that they need to have a back up provider or plan in place in case I need a day off or for when I take vacation time, which I do every year, even if I don't go any where.

Karen



I'm gonna kick off my shoes and run in bare feet, where the grass and the dirt and the gravel all meet=Keith Urban


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DIVADIETER28's Photo DIVADIETER28 Posts: 45
3/16/10 6:35 P

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Well I sure can understand all of your concerns. Nice to know that I am not alone in my frustrations with this job. It is a very important job but it is so easy to get burnt out in this field. I am pretty lucky that I have very good families. The kids can be quite trying though I tell you. The thing that helps me the most is having a friend to talk to vent about our day to day battles. She is also a childcare provider (in another state then where I live). We IM each other throughout the day or give a phone call. Everyone needs to vent to someone that understands. That is what this team should do for each of us too.

Diva


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REENEY2 Posts: 302
2/26/10 10:50 P

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ladies we sure do agreat job with our kids and we know how hard it is to smile when they come in the am even when we don't feel like it and then when they stiff us for a weeks pay it really is hard on our self esteem but at the end of the day we can say we have done a great job course that doesn't but the groceries but haha oh well it is friday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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THINTWIN2's Photo THINTWIN2 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/26/10 9:08 A

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I'm taking today off. I've had a few days already plus the week after Christmas, I hate to take off any more time right now. I have to take of work to go to appointments, when my sister went back to work I lost my sub. That is so hard for me, as I get older and have more dr apts I have to take the whole day off and try to schedule things on the same day. The parents must think I'm at death's door! LOL but it's just that every body part has it's own doctor and as we age there are more routine health screenings plus I had some issues I had let go and now that I've met my deductible, it's time to get some body work done.
A lot of the struggle is that this is such a hard time of year. Been indoors too long, and when I get out toys or games for the older children, the babies get into them. I have babies through PreK age. They don't want to play with toys, even though I rotate them with older ones they haven't played with in a while, 2 year old boys want to run through the house screaming and that gets old real quick. They won't even sit and listen to a book. I do have a kids exercise video they like, and we play catch but they just need to be outside!

Sandra

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. " Isaiah 30:15

There are no excuses, only choices.

Failure is not defeat unless you stop trying.


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HMMILLER007's Photo HMMILLER007 Posts: 260
2/25/10 1:13 P

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I hear all of you! I get so aggrevated when parents come in and I can tell they stopped off somewhere before getting their kid, and it's just barely before my closing time (I'm open 'til 6, but mentally I'm done at 5!).
I only had problems with a family not paying me ever once (never got my money either!), and they always wrote bad checks, too. Now the families I have are pretty good - I've only had to remind one family (after several late payments) that if they continue to pay late, I'll have to start charging the late fee.
I have a contract/aggreement I have all parents sign, too, so we're all on the same page when it comes to the rules I follow and what I expect from them. It's not really a leaglly binding document, but I think it enforces that this a business I'm running, it's my job and I deserve their respect.
But I've been very, very blessed the last couple years with great families. Hopefully, my luck will hold out until I'm ready to return to an outside job in 4-5 years!

Live well, laugh often, love much.

Maintenance range = 137 to 146 pounds



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DAISY910's Photo DAISY910 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/25/10 11:15 A

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Thintwin- I feel for you, that is exactly how I felt last year with the 2 year old. He was making me miserable and I was making my family miserable. That's why I'm appreciating the ones I have now so much.

Is there any way you can take a break? I know for me its hard financially to take breaks but mentally I need them.Could use one right now actually.

Edited by: DAISY910 at: 4/11/2010 (11:41)

"don't you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can't be exactly who you are" lady gaga


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CD6299007 Posts: 4,854
2/25/10 9:08 A

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Dasiy i love what you said Our jobs are stressful and tiring enough as it is, we don't need the parents making us miserable! I just started and one of mine I am going through is trying to keep putting off payment I told her last night I dont work for free you dont so if I am not paid on Friday dont bother bringing him back Parents should know to keep our money aside so they have it.

THINTWIN2's Photo THINTWIN2 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/24/10 11:41 P

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Thanks Daisy! I hate feeling like this, I used to have kids I really enjoyed. This bunch I have now is really hard and takes the fun out of it. I'm turning 50 and thinking I'm too old for this and I don't want to deal with this crap anymore. Tired of crying every night after work.

Sandra

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. " Isaiah 30:15

There are no excuses, only choices.

Failure is not defeat unless you stop trying.


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DAISY910's Photo DAISY910 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/24/10 10:14 P

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I feel for both of you. I know what it's like to look after those kids who like to fight with everyone, I had one of those last year. 2 years old and just miserable all the time. Screaming tantrums all the time, i couldn't even take him to play group. And he kept hitting my cats and dog. His father ended up getting laid off and I was glad.
Also had the ones who take off and don't pay. Feels good to vent about this!
Our jobs are stressful and tiring enough as it is, we don't need the parents making us miserable!
I'm really, really lucky right now with the parents I have. They are really nice, just don't seem to want to pay me on time.


"don't you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can't be exactly who you are" lady gaga


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2/24/10 7:36 P

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I know too well what you're going through. It's the most frustrating job in the world sometimes. I'm back to 10 hour days and I'm exhausted. I have a 4 year old with emotional issues who came in an hour early today, in one of her moods. She fought with everyone in the house all day long and her moods are like poison, they just infect the whole house. I was so angry with her I couldn't even stand her. Then they got picked up at regular time, uncle had his nice clothes on, not work clothes, you know he was out doing something else and left them with me. Doesn't matter to them, the state pays for their care. Dh is mad at me for being in a bad mood, I'd like to see him do this job! I'm hanging on for retirement and pray I don't die in the meantime. Sorry, don't mean to dump on you but you are the only ones who really understand.

Sandra

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. " Isaiah 30:15

There are no excuses, only choices.

Failure is not defeat unless you stop trying.


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REENEY2 Posts: 302
2/24/10 7:21 P

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hi my turn to vent 2 weeks ago I had a 5 month old vietnamese in our daycare was told do not hold pick up or spoil her over the course of 5 months in our care the instructions did not vary she still had baby mitts on anyway we do not have her anymore our customs are so diff and i cannot keep a baby in a carseat all daylong! last week a family 2 boys had been in our care for about the same time no dad single mom waiting for financial help on a list for daycare aid doesn't show up this week at all I have called with no answer no money ugh!!!!!!!!!having a hard time with this her ex sister in law will keep for free so I am sure they are there

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