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IMLOCOLINDA's Photo IMLOCOLINDA Posts: 38,196
3/3/19 12:46 P

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Pulling this thread to the top. Really liked some of this and want to find the book or the author of the quotes. Feeling like it's all connected for me now, too!

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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GOODHEALTH4EVER's Photo GOODHEALTH4EVER Posts: 7,814
1/20/11 3:20 A

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HI LYNN,

THIS IS A VERY TIMELY TOPIC FOR ME RIGHT NOW. I AM READING PETER WALSH'S "ENOUGH ALREADY" OH IS MY HEAD ACHING AND I'M STUCK WITH HIS SUGGESTION OF EVALUATING ONES RELATIONSHIP...

ANYWAY, I WILL BE BACK TO READ MORE:) HAVE TO GET TO BED NOW:)

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JUDIA62 Posts: 3,337
1/20/11 12:53 A

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Hi Everyone,
I cannot read everything this morning but from what I have read ElizRN you make more sense then all the books and articles I have ever read.
Regards, Judy

"When an old person dies a library burns down."



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1/19/11 7:14 P

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"Knowing what things to do, as well as what things not to do is KEY to success. No one will argue that life becomes much easier when we are clear & focused & preferably on automatic pilot. Ritual-building is one way to get there.".....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

SORTING OUT & GETTING CLEAR

It takes lot's of energy to pay attention to all of the details of everything we must do, or find ourselves doing in the span of a day. In fact, it's impossible! Just trying is a sure way to drive up stress chemical production. I remember all the years when I was trying to figure out how to lose weight. I think I purchased every book, every magazine & joined every organization that promised success.

It was a dizzifying experience, as I clipped & classified all sorts of articles in multiple binders. I remember clipping how to do this, that & the other, as well as pictures that defined how I wanted to look, how I should dress, how I should cut my hair & manicure my nails. A complete make-over from head to toe & THEN I would be happy, fulfilled & even prosperous. Hundreds of fantasy binders....but, yet I remained a window shopper of the world....always looking, but never fully achieving & no wonder.

Besides being overwhelmed, I had completely lost focus of who I was, thinking that I needed to start over at the very beginning. How I cheated myself by not self-honoring, not acknowledging my unique individuality & not looking to my own strengths & even my weaknesses to take me further towards a higher level of health. Yes, I threw away the baby with the bathwater!

I see this tendency in my patients & readers. These are matters of low self-image & self-esteem.....self-devaluing to the point of not even acknowledging one's own powerful existence. And while there are oodles of metaphors for this state of mind, just awareness is not going to cut it. There is the almighty step beyond the waking up that everyone must take in order to change. If not, one stays in the darkness, just wanting & clipping.

I remember throwing out all of my binders, feeling tinges of shame & guilt. "Who did I think that I was anyway....I could never achieve these things", sang the voice in my head. My reply was surprisingly empowering & even startled me. "Oh shut up. I've had enough of you & your criticism. I know what to do."

THE ANSWERS LOCATED

I've lived long enough to know that if I listen to my body, it will guide me towards health. My body & my mind had been telling me for quite a long time that I was eating poorly & not practicing healthy lifestyle behaviors. I didn't need any article to spell that out. The truth was that I needed to change & to stop allowing excuses. While those may sound like simple words, one thing I'ved learned over the years is that most things are quite "simple." We human beings make things complicated.

I needed to "shut up." I needed to be still & to listen carefully to what I was being told by my own inner resources. I had to stop making noise & hiding. I had to stop all of my "busy-busy" going nowhere behaviors. So, I stopped buying magazines & books. My apologies to my author friends. I disallowed all of it. My inner child screamed & yelled & threatened me with the most horrible stories, including the big "D", but somehow I didn't budge. Once I made my stand, I realized I wasn't alone. The higher part of me, my mature mentor part, could now be heard. The directions were coming in loud & clear.

Direction # 1 - Everything must be cleaned & cleared.

Oh my....what do you mean by "everything". I was answered with "silence." Not the spoken word silence, but true stillness, reminding me of something my mother would do whenever I asked her a question that I already knew the answer to. That profound silence.

I went to the kitchen & opened a cupboard, perhaps truly seeing it for the first time. What a mess.... I especially remember the towers of old margarine containers that I saved for leftovers, some of them bent in queer shapes from their dishwasher experiences. Hell, I don't even like leftovers. Why do I have so many of these?

As I walked around my home, opening & seeing, I then understood why I hadn't heard my body, nor my mind calling to me. I was truly overwhelmed with my level of being out of touch. "This is too much." Yes, everything was too much. I simply can't clear all of this. I'm attached to this & yes, this is me.

Direction # 2 - Everything must be cleaned & cleared.

Oh, I heard this before. It was quite obvious that I wasn't going to get away with my ranting & victim-state positioning. I remember sitting very still for about an hour while parts of me continued to scream & yell inner obscenities, bringing me to a new awareness that I have some very vile emotions inside of me. No wonder I've not accomplished things that I wanted for myself & my health. I was now meeting my self-blockers, the bullies of my existence. Well, I've met bullies before & as I sat remembering some of them, I was reminded of this little boy who wouldn't let me take my dollie stroller down the steps. I was three years old & he was six. I punched him in the nose & was intrigued with the blood that I caused to flow out. Yes, I know what to do with bullies.

It took me three months to clean & clear. Obviously I had no time for clipping any magazine article or for that matter reading anything at all, although all my clipping experience helped me design an excellent plan for working through my home. I remember asking, "What does this have to do with becoming healthier & changing my lifestyle behavior patterns?" Would I get an answer OR just be greeted with a silence-space?

Direction # 3 - EVERYTHING MUST BE CLEANED & CLEARED.

Oh...........yes, I now understand.

elizRN emoticon

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1/19/11 7:09 P

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Being out of balance hormonally, which is what happens with disorderly eating of all sorts & sugar issues in particular, we are in a depressive brain-fog....a disassociation of sorts. It's like seeing everything from a distant place, yet having no desire to get into that space. It's not just that we can't find the door, but that we have little interest in doing so. This is what physiological/emotional imbalance feels like.

Then, the brain clicks in. We know some things that send a "spark" through us & those things are related to compulsive activities including unhealthy eating, shopping & of course enjoying whatever is around us, cuddling us in pappaoose fashion.

I'm goin to post an article/blog I wrote about my major clean-out. I don't think I talked about the food in there, but what was interesting was that I remember bingeing big time while doing the clean-out. I hadn't yet learned the connection of food to having caused the mess I was in. I remember ordering 3 pizzas at a time. Then, when they were delivered, yelling up the stairs to "no one" that the pizzas had arrived. OH OH OH Those were very bad times.

elizRN

ILLINITEACHER52 Posts: 7,258
1/19/11 6:06 P

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When I first read about the connection between sugar sensitivity and low self-esteem, it was a lightbulb moment. When I do the needed steps to eat right (plenty of protein and low sugar and carbs, it does make a difference in my motivation to declutter). I have been able to become debt free in the past few years and that has also brought a sense of freedom and more ability to release things and not be worried about not having enough. So many things seem to be inter-related. Activity, especially first thing in the morning, helps my brain work better all day (I'm still working on making that a habit. It is a tough one to stay consistent with for me.) This is a very interesting topic!

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SAMMIESMOM13's Photo SAMMIESMOM13 Posts: 6,325
1/19/11 2:22 P

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I've always had this "safety" feeling with the pantry items, then with something that has happened in my more recent past (less than 10 yrs. ago) it intensified my issues. I'm now so afraid of being in trouble (been there, done that, not my own doing) and not knowing how I was going to support myself, it's just made it that much harder to "let go".

Carol
My Blog: natureartbyandre.blogspot.com
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If one is to save oneself, one must take a step, and then another... C. S. Lewis



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PBUSHBY10 Posts: 6,548
1/19/11 1:57 P

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I think everything is connected some how.When you make improvements in one area, it will affect other areas of your life.Grief affects all areas of a persons life,and I know that for a fact.

Edited by: PBUSHBY10 at: 1/19/2011 (14:10)
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1/19/11 11:31 A

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Yes, safety is another emotional indicator. Looking in those cupboards & feeling "secure" is something many of us have in common. This meets one of our "primary needs" on Maslow's Hierarchy. This business of "insecurity" often comes from our early years & depending when we were born, how our parents made ends meet. This forms another part of our "bunting". Holding us securely next to our mother's skin.

elizRN

SAMMIESMOM13's Photo SAMMIESMOM13 Posts: 6,325
1/19/11 10:21 A

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Very interesting topic Lynn. I'll have to do some thinking on it. I do know my hoarding tendancies which are mainly food (pantry full, not eating) and my "things"- cutsies, etc., not papers and that type thing- are about feelings of wanting "safety" and my shakiness on what the future holds. I can not seem to "live for today"...

Carol
My Blog: natureartbyandre.blogspot.com
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www.natureartists.com/carol_andre.as
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If one is to save oneself, one must take a step, and then another... C. S. Lewis



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1/19/11 10:15 A

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Hi Lynn...

I'm glad you brought all of this up & I congratulate you for it. You seem to be ready to connect the dots & that is such a huge step. I say this from both a professional & personal place.

I'd like to invite you to post this topic on Sugar & Food Addiction...just a cut & paste. I can promise you that there are many team members of that group who are either hoarders or have major clutter. Even minor clutter is a symptom, so....it is a very important subject.

Everything that you mentioned is an indictor & there are many othes. You find these inside other "disorderly behaviors", many that become addictions. There are underlying physiological reasons, including hormone imbalances, but we see these in food issues as well.

For me, it was much easier to get the food in order first. My hoarding was not at a major level, but it was there. I was a "specific hoarder", at least this is what I told myself. Of course, I didn't call it hoarding....it was "collecting" or believing that I couldn't pass this, that or the other because I'd never find it again.

Releasing my hoard took quite a bit of emotional work, but feeling better food-wise, I was able to tackle it in stages. It was one of the biggest lessons of my life....second to managing my food issues.

So, think about posting to my Team & we can do some Workshops on this subject as well. Also, invite your friends. Perhaps, if there is sufficient interest over here, we can transfer that same experiential work to this group.

Regards,
elizRN emoticon

SUNSETINAZ's Photo SUNSETINAZ Posts: 1,624
1/19/11 8:48 A

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Hi!

I have been wondering about the connection between food, weight, activity, health, and hoarding for a while now.

For me it's a scary big topic because, in my heart of hearts AND in my mind, for me they are connected.

An early PS...
PS I just read what I wrote below.
Don't go on overwhelm.
I am musing about my life for my sake and as an example of possibilities.
Your life and connections are yours and may be very different from mine.

Here are a few of the possible connections, including side effects.

Low self-esteem - At times I don't feel I am worth the work it takes to manage each of these.
It is also difficult to have and maintain healthy relationships.
At its worst, I wonder if a person really loves me, despite myself, much less because of myself.

Possible addictions - They may include food, spending, maintaining low self-esteem, numbing out, especially using TV and computer to extremes, and the opposite need for variety, excitement, and possibly stress as an element of stimulation.

Stress - I have often felt the affects of stress - the scariest of which are infrequesnt stress seizures

Depression - I have chronic low-grade (I can't remember when I wasn't depressed to one degree or another)

Lack of consistent activity - physical activity provides oxygen to the heart and brain, adding mental clarity.
I have become sedantary.
I suspect my occasional kankles (swollen ankles) are one of the possible side effects of my sedantary lifestyle.

Insomnia - Sleep deprivation aggravates each of these 'connections'.

Medication - At different times over the years, I have been prescribed and taken medication for depression, anxiety, seizure prevention, weight control, glaucoma drops, and insomnia (not to mention OTC B12, multivitamins, omega-3, calcium and vitamin D).
I can't believe the years of medications haven't taken their toll on me, on my body chemistry.

Inconsistency - I can allow my life to be managed by my challenges instead of me, managing my life.
Connected to inconsistency is poor impulse management.
I'm unsure which is the chicken and which, the egg.

Health - All of the above affect my health.
The degree is fluid. It varies as I grow and retreat and grow. And, as life touches my shore.

And last, but certainly not least...

Hoarding - I used to see hoarding as my just being a clutterbug - messy (though not dirty) - lazy - and uncaring about my surroundings.
At first, I had no idea it was about accumulation and not letting go.
I suspect hoarding, like my weight, might also have something to do with protecting myself with a literal physical barriar.

I've covered many bases here with wonderings about if and how they are connected.
I have few definite conclusions yet.

I still see my glass is half full (not half empty).

Though personal for me, it is meant to be an example of possibilities.

Can you tell one of my current needs is to feel understood, regardless of topic? : )

What are your wonderings about cannections?

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Lynn

Change yourself. You are in control.

Happiness is when what you think, say, and do are in harmony.

- Mahatma Gandhi

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SUNSETINAZ's Photo SUNSETINAZ Posts: 1,624
1/19/11 7:22 A

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This topic is created to explore if and how food, weight, activity, health, and hoarding might be connected.
It is a temptation to compartmentalize each of these categories into their own separate boxes. Perhaps boxing each separately serves a purpose.
This is the place to explore.
emoticon

Change yourself. You are in control.

Happiness is when what you think, say, and do are in harmony.

- Mahatma Gandhi

Check out our Spark Team: Hoarding - More Than Simple Clutter

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=26306


www.squalorsurvivors.com/index.shtml
365lessthings.com

www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7059/20-insp
iring-quotes-from-mahatma-gandhi.h


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