SP Premium
Walking Guide
Group photo
Author:
JENNYO1980's Photo JENNYO1980 Posts: 14
3/28/11 4:14 P

Send Private Message
Reply
My hunny & I are 31 and are on the same page regarding kiddos. We're good with them and all but we love our freedom. We are constantly on the go and love to just get up on some days, leave the house and just go where the wind takes us. We've gone on trips before and decided while out there to stay a few extra days, I don't see that happening with kids. Well, now with a full-time job it's hard too, but at least that's the only thing we'd have to plan around. We love where we're at right now and while we aren't planning on having kids right now, it's not like we're doing much to avoid it either.
I have a 2 yr old nephew and he has a 6 yr old niece, so we love to see them as often as we do. Plenty of friends and family have kids that feel close to us that we are the house in the neighborhood where they want to visit because of our peacocks, rooster, salt water aquarium and big 'ole dog; oh and we love candy and other sweets so they always find our stash in the kitchen - and we do hide it sometimes, but they still seem to find it. With all this, we are usually pretty glad when we can go a day without the doorbell ringing much less a baby crying all day long.
I give those parents a lot of credit but I'm happy with our current situation. :)


SPIDERGIRL6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (15,996)
Posts: 1,594
3/23/11 12:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I was never sure if I wanted kids or not. Finally, me and my husband decided to have one. We tried for over 2 years and it didn't work. We discussed about adoption and put our name on the list. To adopt a new born, it may take 10 years, so we decide to go from new born to 5 years old.

We have a course to take before we can adopt and we are presently taking the course. But, as the time goes, we decide to put everything on hold for now.

We also went for some medical testing, and we each have problems. We are waiting to get all the results and see what are our options.

We realized that we love our live the way it is right now and are accepting the fact that we won't have any. Also, my husband is 40 years old and he doesn't want to have to work longer because of a child in university.

 current weight: 156.6 
158
156
154
152
150
RR1_RR1's Photo RR1_RR1 Posts: 984
3/3/11 1:31 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I know as a certainty I dont want them- never have. But so many men out there do so I may have to have one if I ever want to get married.

Edited by: RR1_RR1 at: 3/3/2011 (13:32)
2,615 Days since:  Smoking
0
662
1325
1987
2650
DALIXIA's Photo DALIXIA Posts: 127
2/27/11 2:24 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi there! great to hear from you, as this is not a conversation I have ever had. I have never been pregnant, and when I met my husband he had 5 kids already, so he really does not have the 'need' or wish to have kids. This was discussed prior to us getting married, and I told him I do not know, I may decide later that I want to have kids, as I wanted to be honest.
However, as time went by, I realized that was probably not going to happen. As it is right now, it won't happen unless we really go out of our way and have a procedure done, so I can tell you I would never do that. I would rather adopt a baby (or older kid) that is already in this world and is in need of a home.
I have friends with 1 to 6 kids and almost all of them have at some point made me feel they would like to have the 'freedom' I have.
On the other hand, everyone seems to have an interest in me getting pregnant, they constantly ask, and if some one else gets pregnant, they have to ask... "and you when?"
I don't want to really discuss openly with everybody, but I gotta admit I have been kind of 'implying' I cannot have kids, on hopes they will feel sorry for me and stop asking... is kind of fun... lol... but I know is not right and I should stop doing it... : P
Also, me an my husband are about to adopt a teenager -long story-, so that is also giving the hint that the whole 'baby' thing is not going to happen.

I am 5'7"-wear size 14/16

Date
Weight/BMI/body fat%

8/14/10
228 35.71 44%+.
9/30/10
218 33.98 38%
10/29/10
213 33.4 35.9%
Ouch, 7/12/12 & 11/1/12
236 37.1 48%
02/04/13
233.5 36.6 47%
05/05/13
227.2 35.7 49%


 Pounds lost: 47.7 
0
11.9275
23.855
35.7825
47.71
BELLNBOO's Photo BELLNBOO Posts: 33
2/21/11 5:09 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Can't have them and 99% sure that even if I could, I wouldn't. My husband doesn't want them and we really enjoy the lifestyle we have without them. Many consider that selfish, which is really frustrating. We don't consider ourselves selfish. We consider ourselves smart for not subjecting children to a lifestyle that isn't fair to them.

If I wanted kids, I could adopt. So I would have to say that I am childless by choice.

Erica


 current weight: 154.0 
155
148.75
142.5
136.25
130
NYXWOLFWALKER's Photo NYXWOLFWALKER SparkPoints: (169,439)
Fitness Minutes: (205,241)
Posts: 15,177
2/21/11 11:59 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I never wonted them, but assumed that I'd have no choice in the matter

Little did I realize what life had in store for me ::Grins::

I can't have them, Im infertile and my husband couldn't give me any even if I wished them because he doesn't have that ability to do so. Our only option would be to adopt, and neither of us are interested in that option to start with.

We're both Childfree by choice and by natures will.

Nyxks Musings - nyxstium.info
twitter.com/nyxks/

Living with...
+Type 1 Diabetes
+Acute Intermittent Porphyria (AIP)
+Spinal Ostioarthritis
+Fibromyalgia
+Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

7,050,715 steps taken since 2014
5,748 floors climed since 2015
4,992.22 km walked in 2014
2,982,764 calories burned since 2014
20 lbs lost and 20 lbs gained since 2014


 Pounds lost: 18.0 
0
17
34
51
68
CCLARK88's Photo CCLARK88 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (325)
Posts: 62
2/21/11 8:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I am childfree because I medically I cant have children :( However, I am very happy with the decision that was made for me :D

 current weight: 129.0 
199
180.5
162
143.5
125
SARAHO228's Photo SARAHO228 Posts: 565
10/21/10 5:18 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have 3 reasons why I haven't had any kids. The first one is haven't met right one and don't want any unless I can trust him. I'd Like to be married to have the kids. The next reason is medical related. I'd probably adopt, but it needs to be good timing. Right now not good timing.

 current weight: 225.3 
235
221.25
207.5
193.75
180
JETERSGAL729's Photo JETERSGAL729 Posts: 1,306
10/9/10 12:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I think if I ever wanted kids it ended a long long time ago when my Mom had a baby when I was 10 and then again when I was 16 - having little brothers at that age made my life consist solely of babysitting while my Mom worked. I did A LOT of the taking care of them and it almost feels like I helped raise them, so being kid free was what I wanted for a long time! I've never really had this undying desire to OMG have a baby!!! And although I don't them and would even be happy to hold one or babysit here and there - I just don't see myself as being a mother and never really did. I mean yes I'm good with kids and they normally like me, but I just don't have the patience with them and I really dislike mothers that make their WHOLE lives their kids.

Like one of my old bosses that had 3 daughters that were all in High School or College and still she never said one thing without it having to do with them, she use to spend time at work calling hair, doctor and dentist appts for her "grown" girls like they couldn't do it themselves. She just acted like they needed her to constantly take care of them. I was working since I was 12 babysitting and cash registers under the table till I was old enough to do it on the books! haha And I've always been independent. My mom did help me of course and we are great friends but she never called appts for me! haha

And she definitely can get through complete sentences without having to constantly talk about her kids. Even with loving us more than anything! lol

But now I'm engaged and my fiance has 5 daughters from 2 previous marriages and they don't live with us (thank God) but they do come over here and there, usually one or two at a time. Never all at once. And they are nice. All teenagers. So they treat me like a friend most of the time. And he's had the procedure so he can't have anymore kids and I'm THANKFUL for that!! :) I never have to worry about getting pregnant!!

Not only do I not want to go through with the whole thing of raising a person but I would hate to gain so much weight only knowing it would take me FOREVER to take it off again if I even could manage to take it off again! I wouldn't want to misshape my body to the point where I have stretch marks that never go away and a pouch that never goes away either!! Of course there are some freaks of nature that look amazing after giving birth, but I'm def not one of them!

haah Enough ranting and raving! Now you know! :)

~Stacey~

"If you want to do it, all you have to do is do it!"

~Ben Davis -
BenDoesLife.com

“Do your best and forget the rest.” ~Tony Horton


 current weight: 165.5 
226
205.75
185.5
165.25
145
BEE797's Photo BEE797 Posts: 25
10/2/10 11:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I kind of mentioned this in the previous topic, but I have always known that chidren weren't going to be the right choice for me. At 31 and having held a baby and been around children of various ages, I can say with certainty that I have zero maternal instincts, and actually have a fairly marked aversion to simply being around them in general. I don't hate them, but I'm definitely not fond of them (and my disdain is apparently obvious to others), so the choice is, and always has been, clear and simple for me. God forbid that any friend or coworker who has gone into full-swing baby factory mode finds this out, though. They treat you like you're the devil himself. No, there's nothing wrong with Me; I think there's something wrong with You! :P Difference of opinion.

 current weight: 150.0 
189
175.5
162
148.5
135
JOHNRL19's Photo JOHNRL19 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (260)
Posts: 15
9/26/10 12:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I like children. However, I am not in a relationship but even if I was I dont think I would want to have any children. For a few reasons the world we live in for one, honestly I dont think I can be responsible for another human being 24/7 and I have a condition that is genetic and I dont want to pass it on.. Just some of the reason I have chosen not to have kids.. Now if for some reason my significant other (if he ever shows up LOL) would like a child Im not totally closed off to the idea with a lot of thought process at that time! Hope everyone is doing well on there healthy lifestyle journey~
Until next time, Becky

 current weight: 320.0 
320
281.25
242.5
203.75
165
MIADOLCEVITA's Photo MIADOLCEVITA Posts: 413
9/12/10 10:54 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I didn't want children, then when I wanted a child, but I wasn't sure that I was with the right person, so I didn't.

I am not against a child (as in just one), so if I have one, me and my baby will be the cool quasi-hippies of the neighborhood, but I refuse become like some women that act like CF people are aliens from another planet and all of the sudden become a pious doormat.

I don't even go to baby showers because it feels like I am on a foreign land. A lot of my friends tell me now, how they wish they have my freedom, not only from kids but also from bad husbands...and what in the hell is a bapi? LOL

emoticon

Align with who is supportive of you are trying to be in this world" ~Oprah~


Total SparkPoints: 38,250
30,000
32,499
34,999
37,499
39,999
SparkPoints Level 15
NYXWOLFWALKER's Photo NYXWOLFWALKER SparkPoints: (169,439)
Fitness Minutes: (205,241)
Posts: 15,177
9/11/10 3:08 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hubby and I are Childfree by choice, but we're also both childfree by natures will (he was born without the ability, I lost the ability just over two years ago).

Growing up I though I would have no choice in the matter, I though that I'd have to have a child that unless I was blessed with infertility that I'd have to become a mother to a human child and would be forced to raise the next generation.

I really didn't think I would have a choice in the matter, not till years later when I actually understood that my aunt and uncle where themselves CF and that maybe just maybe I would have a choice in the matter.

Then came the scare in University lucky me my body aborted what had happened (yet the tests I took showed it to be negative, which wasn't the case). Talk about a freak out, the idea of being forced to carry to term because of something that was forced upon me against my will sickened me to no end. How close I came to not having a reproductive choice in the matter scares me to this day. Though I do know that even in ones third tri that here in Ontario abortion is still an option, its just a lot more risky. But my luck would be that I'd not know I was till I was in active labor (almost like my mom and my mom's sister - seems I have a family history of not know ones with child till its late or to late).

Anyhow, that scare galvanized me into being CF - I knew beyond dought that I wasn't mean to be a parent, after that scare I knew it in my heart of hearts that it wasn't for me, not if I was panicked that bad over what had almost happened.

However, just to make sure that my feelings where still as they where just over 10 years ago, I held a baby several months back just to see how I felt about it, how it felt in general and to see how I would react to it.

Well nothing, I help it and it wasn't happy to be in my arms and wonted to get away as fast as it could do so. I felt nothing for it, if anything I was trying to figure out how to hold it without dropping it from all the squirming around it was doing. It wasn't for me, holding a baby just didn't work for me at all - I felt more out of my depth then anything, then I have ever felt in my life.

I knew I was CF, but I had to see if being married for over a year and interacting with my new nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews might have changed that feeling - and the verdict is in. I'm not parent material and its not for me.

Now hubby already knew this for himself since he helped to raise his sisters children some into adult hood and others close enough there of (one sisters kids are 13 and 17 respectively). He's also helped raise a couple of his nephews kids (that one blew me away - getting called great aunt Nyx, just sounded oh so wrong on so many different levels).

Nyxks Musings - nyxstium.info
twitter.com/nyxks/

Living with...
+Type 1 Diabetes
+Acute Intermittent Porphyria (AIP)
+Spinal Ostioarthritis
+Fibromyalgia
+Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

7,050,715 steps taken since 2014
5,748 floors climed since 2015
4,992.22 km walked in 2014
2,982,764 calories burned since 2014
20 lbs lost and 20 lbs gained since 2014


 Pounds lost: 18.0 
0
17
34
51
68
PODGIES's Photo PODGIES Posts: 261
9/9/10 2:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The dog is way more work and emotional attachment than I ever would have thought. I love her with all my heart and soul, though, and can't imagine life without her. As for plants, I've had my battles, but I'm getting there. Pothos and spider plants are SO easy. My spider plant even had lots of babies which had more babies that I gave away for Christmas last year! :)

Also, I have some moral issues like Ann, too. I just don't love the way it seems that things are heading and I don't feel the need to contribute to the overpopulation of the world because I'm "supposed" to have kids.

 current weight: 124.0 
144
139
134
129
124
ANNLAGO SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (3,328)
Posts: 87
9/8/10 12:56 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I didn't want children, then I did, then I didn't. I have decided that, really I do and have felt this way for a few years now, but am afraid I am too old to keep up later...when the kid is 20 and I am 62 or so. I am also worried b/c I am not very happy with he state of affairs of this country or the lack of morality I see all around me every day. Where I live currently, people, in general, well...let's just say I don't like being around them...I am afraid to bring a child into the world that seems to be deteriorating before my eyes...I am afraid that personal finances are going to go down the toilet b/c of taxes and all the things the government wants us to pay for that we didn't used to, etc. I am fearful that my child won't be treated equally by the family and feel it and be damaged because of it.
I could go on and on about my fears. So, no children by choice. My dog is the BEST and she is my constant companion.


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
3.75
7.5
11.25
15
TURBOAMIE's Photo TURBOAMIE Posts: 527
9/6/10 7:07 P

My SparkPage
Reply
You're ahead of me - I can't even handle a dog or plants :)

One workout at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time, one pound at a time. Just keep trying!

Bodybugg Team Co-leader

More about me: http://bit.ly/hYNcBJ


 current weight: 173.0 
190
176.5
163
149.5
136
PODGIES's Photo PODGIES Posts: 261
9/6/10 6:39 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm with you both. Never really wanted them. Then I went through a stage where I thought I would have kids, like Amie said, because I "should." Now I realize that it's totally not for me. Happy to take care of my friends' kids and my nieces and nephews and spoil them rotten, but I think my dog is way more than enough responsibility for this girl! I'm not mature enough for kids for sure!

 current weight: 124.0 
144
139
134
129
124
TURBOAMIE's Photo TURBOAMIE Posts: 527
9/4/10 12:32 P

My SparkPage
Reply
Me - don't want to. Earlier in life, I always assumed that I would because that's what you *should* do but then I realized that it wasn't for me and I was tired of doing what I *should* do.

The thought of having children makes me feel trapped, terrified, resentful. Yeah, not for me.



One workout at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time, one pound at a time. Just keep trying!

Bodybugg Team Co-leader

More about me: http://bit.ly/hYNcBJ


 current weight: 173.0 
190
176.5
163
149.5
136
SPARK_JO's Photo SPARK_JO Posts: 277
9/4/10 5:31 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I was simply wondering if the people in this team don't have kids because they don't want to or because it hasn't happened (yet).

When I was a teenager, I was kind of imagining myself with kids as an adult. But I don't feel the need.

My friend who want kids want them with their guts, it's a certainty for them. It just never happened to me. And now that I'm in my 30s, people have finally stopped telling me: "Well, it'll come someday."

So, what about you?

Are you ready for the Set Your Own Weekly Challenge Challenge? www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sageboard_thread.asp?board=10037x11521
x54394585


 current weight: 153.0 
156
153.75
151.5
149.25
147
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other 30 Somethings Without Kids General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:



Thread URL: https://wfl.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x27170x36476131

Review our Community Guidelines