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SHIRLEY721's Photo SHIRLEY721 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/13/13 1:27 P

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In my day one thing they were called was a whore master and later on a pimp.I think they may be called pimps now too.Tell me if I'm wrong. emoticon

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COACHPENNY's Photo COACHPENNY Posts: 10,392
5/13/13 11:21 A

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Yes, this is true. Most of us think that fidelity is important in a committed relationship. What a person does up to that point isn't irrelevant, people can and do change, but jumping from one bed to the next has it's consequences. I stressed that to my kids.



“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Bill Cosby


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BRIDIE5 Posts: 8,121
5/13/13 7:20 A

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Same thing Penny..a slut. but..who defines morals? It's pretty subjective is it not? Many people's seem so adjustable!

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COACHPENNY's Photo COACHPENNY Posts: 10,392
5/12/13 11:20 P

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So then, what's a man (with loose morals)? Lucky?



“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Bill Cosby


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GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/12/13 9:46 P

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"Me? I think that a slut is a woman with the sexual moral of a man."

There's probably some truth to that!


T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/12/13 9:40 P

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"....revenge can be very creative"

Here's hoping us guys here never get you gals mad at us! LOL!!! emoticon emoticon

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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SHIRLEY721's Photo SHIRLEY721 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/12/13 8:32 P

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Things have really changed since I was young.The goal then was be married by 20 preferably 18.I was 18.When my son left his wife of 24 years.They had been seperated 4 days.He had not even filed for divorce yet.He was called not once but 3 times by 4 diffirent women who asked him for dates.One even said why don't you just move in with me? He was shocked out of his socks.He turned them all done and when his divorce was final started dateing the one that he has now lived with without marriage for 10 years.He doesn't date others.They may as well be married.Everything but the license.I guess he is a mixture of old and new fashioned.LOL! emoticon

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COACHPENNY's Photo COACHPENNY Posts: 10,392
5/12/13 7:57 P

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LOL! There'd be no second chances in my house either....disposal, blender, food processor....revenge can be very creative. emoticon



“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Bill Cosby


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BRIDIE5 Posts: 8,121
5/12/13 1:29 P

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Love that third one, willam..pass the soap!

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CD833620 Posts: 42,077
5/12/13 9:15 A

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Bridie, in mine also. I do not share. it is this simple. LOl

I made clear to my, let's say husband, that he does that and I will pull a Lorena Bobbit on him. But there will be no chance of reattaching the thing, because I will put it in the garbage disposer.....

We have the cow saying in Brazil also. Somehow, people keep buying the cow....

Me? I think that a slut is a woman with the sexual moral of a man.

Another one I like? Once you wash it, it is new.

BRIDIE5 Posts: 8,121
5/12/13 9:01 A

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LOL Willam..a mistress in my marriage would guarantee that my husband's calling hours were 2 to 4pm, and his burial at 5pm the same day! I've been married 37 years..there are some areas I draw the line.

I seem to recall from my girlhood the phrase "why buy the cow when the milk is free"..there were other gems too. Don't recall my male cousins being told anything comparable.

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CD833620 Posts: 42,077
5/12/13 8:34 A

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I grew up in Brazil. What is the vision there? Men do not have to be pretty, they have to be men. Women? Well, (Penny, this is how I do understand your post), there are those to have lots of sex before you get married, and those that “:save themselves” to become wives and, of course, attend to all and every need of their husbands (after all, they are really lucky they were able to catch a man, right?).
Or if you want some folklore with that, a very common saying is Brazil is (although in English it loses a bit): “Hold to your female goats, because my male goat is on the loose”.
So, men are suppose to be men, women (and their mothers) have to be the ones protecting themselves.
In fact, in certain areas of the country, till today, women see as a reason for pride is their husbands have mistress. It shows he is really virile.


GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/11/13 11:48 P

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"Mom also practically told me that you could get pregnant from kissing so I told her....that's ok, I'll do everything but kiss. She was NOT amused. Just a smartass!"

LOL!!! Some would say smart ass, Penny--others would say "What a cleaver young girl!" LOL!!!

But you were so right--talk about the double standard back then (and sometimes still)! I guess life is a different experience for men and women...but surely most women don't want to marry men who spent all their youth hanging out with "those women"! LOL!!! But it was a more naive time! Ha!

Love your sense of humor, Penny!!! emoticon


T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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COACHPENNY's Photo COACHPENNY Posts: 10,392
5/11/13 7:40 P

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You know me too well!



“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Bill Cosby


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BRIDIE5 Posts: 8,121
5/11/13 5:27 P

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Penny, why am I not surprised? emoticon

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COACHPENNY's Photo COACHPENNY Posts: 10,392
5/11/13 3:37 P

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Willam....you'll understand this...my mother told me when I was younger that men should have all the experience they can and women should be virgins when they marry. Being the smartass, I asked her how men could get all this experience if women were supposed to remain chaste. She said "Those kind of women" OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mom also practically told me that you could get pregnant from kissing so I told her....that's ok, I'll do everything but kiss. She was NOT amused. Just a smartass!



“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Bill Cosby


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GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/11/13 11:03 A

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Hi William!

Glad to see there are two other guys in here! (But that's not to dismiss you ladies---I grew up with four sisters and have deep respect for women.)

Sometimes men and women do seem to look at life a little differently and sometimes our own gender can relate to something better we've gone through (and sometimes not! Sometimes women understand better a male problem and show greater compassion--I've experienced it both ways in society.) The women here have been very understanding, but I'm always glad to also have a man's opinion too on something...just for the balance of ideas.

William, did you grow up in the US or in Brazil? I was just curious if you grew up in Brazil what the attitude was (by society) in men's appearance and if men were viewed as "worthy" creatures or just oversexed animals?

I think maybe I was just a very sensitive and frightened young man in the '70's and I just "took things to heart" too much. My older sister (at that time) seemed to adopt some of what society was saying then and would occasionally put me and all men down (but looking back now, I do realize it was meant as a "jab in the ribs"--the way brothers and sisters argue, but really actually care about one another. As adults now, my sister has always been one of my best friends.), but I think I took it all to heart too much...then add to that what I was hearing on TV too...so I felt judged against as a young man.

In many ways I admire you for not having to deal with the feelings of the Vietnam War (being too young and in another country, too.) I wish I could have avoided it (as I'm sure many of the women here in the USA wish they had not had to deal with the stress of it, also.)

Very glad to meet you and thank you for your thoughts! It's good to have both male and female perspectives here!

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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CD833620 Posts: 42,077
5/11/13 8:21 A

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Well, here I go…..
This group is mainly women, but there are 2 other guys Popeye and I. So, you are not that alone. Although, I usually side with the girls. I wonder why that is. LOL
I think is very hard to think of a majority (men x women, white x black, straight x gay) as “oppressed”, since the oppression is applied onto minorities by the majority.
I have very personal and unpleasant opinions about war. Some people Do love war. It is profitable. In fact, very profitable.
At the time of the Vietnam war I was not in the US. In fact, I barely took notice of it, since I was to young to worry about it. But one cannot expect to treat a group of people (women) as inferior (little silly, cute things) and expect them to play the same role that the oppressors do. After all, women are good in the kitchen, right?
Regarding the bodies. I like beauty, in any form. I think that beauty (or lack of it) can be found in a man’s (“the Rock” is a nice example) or woman’s (Jennifer Lopez is appealing to me) body.
Penny, I came from a Latin country. Men DO NOT have feelings. Ok? WE are all Macho and we are supposed to have many, many women. AS you can see, something went worn in the middle of the way…. LOl
Although I did not live it, I have read some about the reaction, in America, to the was in Vietnam and how the anger was used towards the soldiers…


COACHPENNY's Photo COACHPENNY Posts: 10,392
5/11/13 3:21 A

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Something said in these last few post made me think also of the way some soldiers were treated during the Vietnam era. Prior to that war and Korea, men were welcomed home as heros. Vietnam was a different story. It was an unpopular war and some people blamed the soldiers for things that were out of their control. The atrocities of war were front and center in our living rooms.....too ugly to be ignored. In the past we've talked about the impact of the shootings at Kent State in Ohio and how that incident shattered the lives of so many on both side of the firing line. More casualties of war.



“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Bill Cosby


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BRIDIE5 Posts: 8,121
5/10/13 10:23 P

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Viking..I didn't share things because I felt my suffering was more than yours or anyone elses..IMHO we cannot compare degrees of suffering..suffering is suffering. Buddah called suffering "the human condition". I brought those things into the conversation only only to broaden the subject to the fact that the suffering is universal.My dad was killed in an earlier war than Nam..BTW, my FIL was older, career Army, and "in country" for two tours before he was hit, and DH blessedly didn't get a scratch, It must have been terrifying for a young man of draft age on a very personal level. Re objectifying by gender..not being male I wouldn't know about that personally from your side, but cannot dispute that it is true for you. I have however been female all my life, and consider a leading dept. store's marketing of thongs for little girls objectification, and the kind of comments yelled on the streets at myself when younger, and now my daughters, and my teen granddaughter objectification, and 90% of advertising objectification as well. then there's the stalking statistics, and the rape statistics, and a whole lot of other things that lead me to believe that there were and are some very gender specific issues women need to address for their own safety and wellbeing.

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GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/10/13 8:04 P

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You also make good points, Coach Penny! You touched on some of the same things Birdie did, how the war impacted your life as well, and you are right that I guess I was not seeing the big picture of how it affected others lives.

Yes, I think the war affected so many men in so many negative ways. Men enjoy projecting the gender image that they are supermen, and women enjoy projecting the image that they are superwomen...but in reality we are all in this world sometimes scared little boys and girls. Most men simply were not equipped to experience what they experienced in war--there was nothing at home to compare it to. It "did a number" on them.

And yes, when it comes to body image, women get the worst of it (both back then and now too). I guess because I was a sensitive young male, I took it to heart back then when TV and such had nothing good to say about men (at least it seemed that way to me). So like many women, I also felt like an object...only in this case an object of ridicule. So maybe it would be best to say that many women, and a few men, felt objectified back then.

I'm so glad to be able to discuss this reasonably and logically like this! You folks have been great! I am also very glad to meet you! Thanks for chiming in with your views, and I hope others will also!





T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/10/13 7:49 P

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Sorry, I did forget to put in my last post that I survived the cancer and am cancer free.(And like to think that God and my brother was watching over me.)

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/10/13 7:41 P

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An excellent response, Bride5! And yours was one response that one lady had made to me in the other group as well, that it was a rough time and women went through a lot of hell as well...and of course you both are right.

I'm so sorry to learn of the loss of your dad back then! Truly, you have experienced the horrors of war far more than I have (I was never drafted...I just lived with the fear I would be). Also sorry to hear of your father in law who died because of agent orange (at this moment I have a brother in law who served in Viet Nam who has cancer of the throat and is receiving treatments.)

Yes, I would have to agree you and your mom have suffered far more for war than I ever had to. I only suffered the fear and anxiety over it...you suffered the reality of it. And yes, that's a huge difference!

I agree that in my youth I was centered on my fears and not seeing "the whole picture" and how it was affecting everyone, including women.

So, in view of how you suffered, my suffering barely holds water (except that it may have been one of the things that contributed to me having anxiety and depression problems later in life....but still I have life, so I really shouldn't complain so much.)

Thank you for responding and giving me "the other side".

I guess I just wanted to convey the horror I felt inside and to let that one girl in my other group know that yes, men did suffer back then.

But there will always be something "unique" about going through something oneself--about having that target on your own back....

The best example I can give is this: About five years ago my brother was diagnosed with cancer. I became his caregiver (I lived right beside him.) and did all I knew to help him. He would speak of his fears and how scary it was and I felt so deeply for him. And I "thought" I knew exactly how he must be feeling.

He died after a year and half. One month later I was diagnosed with melanoma cancer on my back. The possibility was there that it had spread throughout my body. I remember one day as I walked up to the hospital for further diagnosis and looked up where it said "Cancer Center", I realized right then and there that I had had no idea of what fear my brother had gone through facing cancer! I "thought" I knew what it was like...but I honestly had no clue until I myself was faced with it. Just like my fears about being drafted, suddenly the "target" was on "my" back, and I found that makes a world of difference in how we perceive things.

I guess that's the point I was trying to make--that it makes a difference when the target is on your back and maybe others were not truly understanding the fear I was feeling back then.

But I definitely see that you suffered from the war far more than I ever did, and I'm truly sorry for that. I guess I just wanted folks to "feel my pain" and understand what I went through back then....but I will remind myself henceforth that at least I lived through the pain and I should "move on" and appreciate the gift of life.

(And by the way, I do honor the sacrifice your loved ones gave for our country. I'm not one of those guys who does not appreciate that. And I am sorry it impacted your own life so very much. Losing a loved one to war is very much like being in the war oneself---and I realize that better now since you shared your real life story with me. Thank you for sharing and helping me see another side of the story!)

(And this is the best kind of debate: where someone--like me--learns something from it based on another's life.)

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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COACHPENNY's Photo COACHPENNY Posts: 10,392
5/10/13 4:05 P

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I feel the same as Bridie. Though I am slightly younger ( I was a junior in HS when the draft ended) my much older brother joined the marine reserves rather than get drafted, some of his friends and our older cousins served and one of our family's close friends lost both his legs in Viet Nam. The boys my age were worried until the draft ended and we were worried about all of them. It did impact us all.

I have to say because young men did not talk about their feelings, we did not discuss these things with them. My brother did not tell any of us how he felt. He was discharged medically due to a service related back injury and so, did not end up in Nam. When he was much older we heard some of the stories of cruelty, etc. but I think he felt it was a badge of honor that he went through these things. We do think that being in the military (and possibly living in that era) changed him. He came out pretty negative.

Our friend that lost his limbs did alright, he learned again to walk, drive, ride a horse with prosthetic his legs. He married and had children.

All of the men were stoic about their experiences.

On the body image issue, women (and our parts) are subjected to objectification in ways that men are not. That is not to diminish that men feel singled out for ridicule for other reasons.



“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Bill Cosby


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BRIDIE5 Posts: 8,121
5/10/13 3:24 P

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I can relate to the inequality of men being singled out for the draft. Also of them being afraid their number would be called, or that they might be killed. I am of that generation. Most of my male friends and relatives were afraid, and we were afraid for them. Were you drafted, or did you get lucky? I'm the daughter of a soldier killed in action, the daughter in law of a Vietnam vet crippled in action who eventually died of agent orange derived cancer, and the wife of a Nam draftee. I remember. While i grant the validity of your point of view on that back then, perhaps in your youth you didn't know that the fear wasn't entirely gender based ,nor did the negative outcomes affect only men. 'Tho female, my Mom was affected by becoming a widow and single parent, 'tho female I was affected by becoming what they call a war orphan, 'tho female my MIL was affected by becoming the caregiver of a beloved paraplegic and eventually a widow at a young age. My Dad and my FIL paid the ultimate price, my Dh and all others who served returned with issues of one kind or another. We tend to be very subjective when young, oft times not seeing the universality of an issue. I hated the draft..we all did..it was grossly wrong and unfair. I hate War to this day. All war. Re the body image thing..I probably had any comments such as you describe sail right over my head, not being male myself or singled out by them..but plenty of comments were and are made about women's bodies and appearance every day. It's probably quite normal that you took the ones directed at your gender to heart, just as I did and do the ones made about mine. Anyway..very interesting observations Viking..

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GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/10/13 10:10 A

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(Here's the letter, as it was posted in the other group....)

I should have clarified more what I meant by "men's rights"--it was a 1960's and '70's thing. It does not apply as much now--if at all. At the time, it was things that only a person who was male could comprehend, because it just was not discussed in society.

I remember just two main things about it all that impacted me. Men were often (at that time) made to feel they were "less than" women (as human beings). Often this meant society suggested we were "ugly" (lots of jokes on TV and movies about the ugliness of men's bodies), that all men were animals (Some were, for sure! But most men were not.) Things like that. So it wasn't really about "rights"--- it was mostly about "ideas" that seemed to come from TV at the time and society to different degrees bought into it. You would have had to live in the '60's/70's and been male to pick up on that. Things have changed now, for the better.

The only other thing I can remember was the suffocating fear of death that hung over almost all young men's heads at the time: war. (One would have had to live during that time to understand this. TV was filled with images of young men being brought home in body bags during the Vietnam war. It was a scary time.) Some felt it was unfair that only men had to go to war. (The draft.) Some men viewed that as inequality of the sexes.

I no longer feel this way (I was young and scared at the time and I guess wanted to blame someone for my sorrows). But I'll never forget how my female classmates had no idea of the fear that hung over my head everyday of my life as a young teenage male during the Vietnam War. My female classmates worried about what they would wear to the prom next year...I worried about if I'd be alive next year if I was drafted. (That sounds totally sexist--but sadly, it was the truth of that time.) I remember it as one of the most terrifying times in my life. And I guess other men felt this fear also and felt this was inequality with the sexes.

But things have changed. Many women now volunteer for the army. Plus, as we age we naturally become more wise and I've come to realize that my problem was "not" that women were not being required to go to war, but my problem was "with" war. Nobody loves war--so we all can relate to that. Plus, I had four sisters and honestly did not want a single one of them to be drafted and have to live with the fear I did! Turns out, it was about the ugliness of war and the fear it puts in all our hearts, in one way or another. So this aspect of it was not really even about men's rights--but about men's inner lives being so hidden from society. (There were no Dr. Phil's back then--the psychology of the time really stunk!)

So yeah, men actually "did" seem to need "some" equality during that time--it was an actual and real need. Most people never gave it a thought back then--unless you were a perceptive male of the time. But that day has come and past...and like I say, things have changed now. Things seem more fair. People discuss their feelings better than they did in the 1960's and '70's. The world is in a better place than it was then.

(Well, that was the post, folks! I quickly got the feeling from others (in the group where I posted it) that I should drop the topic and one or two members seemed to be becoming angry...so the topic was dropped. You can see why I was glad to find this group. At least here we can talk about stuff besides food and dieting! (Don't people do that in real life, too?) But I do get that maybe the groups "do" need to be separate, so they can concentrate on diet and food and health...and not on the Viet Nam war! LOL!!!)



T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/10/13 9:57 A

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Well, first off I need to say that I don't even know why I'm bringing it up, because the topic was dropped in my group. But like I said earlier, I think there was no resolution for me...or either felt folks just didn't "hear me"...did not see my side or have empathy.

I need to let you guys know I'm a good guy. A nice fellow. I think you'd like me if you met me in real life. I'm quiet, don't have a lot to say sometimes (other times have a lot!) And I guess sometimes I feel that folks don't bother to hear my side of a story, just because I'm quiet. (Talking about my real time life now--not about the folks in my Spark groups, which normally seem very compassionate and listening. Have made several friends, in fact, at Spark.)

Well, first of all I need to say that I'm a modern guy. I have four sisters and in my old age I've especially become aware of how the Women's Liberation movement of the '60's and '70's brought good things to this world (yes, this is gonna be about an ooooooold subject! Ha! Sorry!) As I see my sisters as grown ups, I realize I wish they had found more freedom for themselves and more independence because of that movement, but they seemed to stick close to more traditional values.

So I posted this in my group, and somehow that lead to a discussion of things that had happened to me back in the '70s (I'm an old guy--59 years old...will be 60 in a few months--but still sometimes think I'm a teenager!). I talked about how I somewhat identified with something many people did not even know existed: there was also a tiny Men's Liberation movement back then!

Well, one lady said that if white men ever did need liberation, she would be the first to stand by them (implying that men knew nothing of being oppressed--but growing up in the '70's, I knew different.)

Things have changed now--they are so much better! But believe it or not, back then men did need some liberation also...it was mostly from society's ideas of men and also from the psychology of the day. Men just did not talk about the fears and terrors they were feeling back then. There was no outlet to talk about them. So I guess that's why the tiny "Men's Lib" interested me (though there were no meetings near me.)

Now I know I'm speaking to a group of mostly women (seems all diet groups at Spark I've been in have been mostly women, anyway) and I know this topic would be better approached in an all men's group. But I guess I just wanted to talk about some of the things I felt back then during the '70's and maybe educated some of the younger folks on how it was then...but I'm afraid it was a total failure!

Anyway, here's the letter (in the next post), just as it was published in my group. You be the judge. (By the way, I'm a big guy now...I can take criticism and disagreement...but I guess I do enjoy at least "some" feeling that people hear what I'm saying, if only just a little bit.)

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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COACHPENNY's Photo COACHPENNY Posts: 10,392
5/9/13 4:54 P

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Fire when ready....I mean....start a conversation any time. emoticon



“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Bill Cosby


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BRIDIE5 Posts: 8,121
5/9/13 2:37 P

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For sure you can talk about what you want to here..it may not always get a standing ovation, cuz we are a very diverse group but nobody will call you down for bringing it up! Welcome..

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MYREALANA's Photo MYREALANA SparkPoints: (0)
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5/9/13 2:22 P

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People! Don't scare the new guy away.

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--Myrea

"If you can't do something smart, do something right." --
Shepherd Book


GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/9/13 9:52 A

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"but you will see that discussions here are not always peaceful.... "

Ha! I hear ya. We humans just have trouble with peace, don't we! Ha!

But at the very least at least it gives one a place to vent (which I obviously can't do in my diet groups). I'll post what I posted there soon and let you guys either sympathize with me or tear me apart! emoticon LOL!!! I can take either one. I just welcome the chance to share my opinions.

Got to get busy this morning, though, and can't share yet. Have a friend coming to visit from out of town today at 3 p.m. and the house is a mess! Gotta clean...and I hate to clean! Ha! Take care folks....



T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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CD833620 Posts: 42,077
5/9/13 7:01 A

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WEll, welcome to the team, but you will see that discussions here are not always peaceful....

MYREALANA's Photo MYREALANA SparkPoints: (0)
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5/8/13 10:50 P

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Well, I hope we can live up to your expectations.

--Myrea

"If you can't do something smart, do something right." --
Shepherd Book


4EVRYOUNG Posts: 5,174
5/8/13 5:10 P

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Glad to have you. Opinions fly and sometimes they get heated. But it's never dull.

Val

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got!
COACHPENNY's Photo COACHPENNY Posts: 10,392
5/8/13 4:55 P

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Welcome! I won't say that flames never fly on Soap, but we do have some interesting discussions. It's been relatively quiet around here lately. Maybe new blood will spark good debate and make the world a better planet!



“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

Bill Cosby


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GENTLEVIKING's Photo GENTLEVIKING Posts: 3,798
5/8/13 2:29 P

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Hi! I'm new here, and I'm so glad to find this group! What an excellent idea to have a group where opinions are discussed and debated in peaceful way. Why doesn't every website that has groups require that such a group as this exist? Just imagine the "flame wars" that would be prevented if we felt free to discuss any topic in one certain group!

I recently tried to share some of my views in one of my groups. I realized it was "off topic", but you know how it is when you've been in a group for years....you sometimes get bored talking about the same subjects of dieting and food and weight loss! So I opened up about my feelings on a somewhat controversial topic. (I did at least put it in the "coffee break" section of the group.)

Overall, the group handled it well...but then I got the feeling some members felt I should "not respond" to what was being talked about...to let the topic die, because that was not what the group was about. I also saw one member beginning to side with another "against" my views...and immediately thought, "Oh no! A flame war is about to begin! Nip it in the bud! Nip it in the bud!"

Well, in hind sight--those members who felt I needed to drop the topic were right. The group was about eating healthy, not about my issues or opinions on an outside topic! LOL!!! So it was dropped. Peace was restored.

But I'm the kind of person who enjoys talking about things. I enjoying coming to at least "some" resolution with issues "as a group"....or at least "agreeing to disagree" on a topic. I also enjoy sharing my thoughts with others. (Never get to do that much in my real time life.) I also want to hear others thoughts and honor them too.

So I was so glad to find this group and realize there is a place where folks can talk about anything! I love it! Thank you for having me! I look forward to participating!

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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