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KATMIAOW420's Photo KATMIAOW420 SparkPoints: (0)
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3/18/11 5:26 P

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Kaura--Some people are just assholes. :( Your co-workers being some of them. Hopefully you can sit some place else. Somewhere with PC access so you can hit up your Done Girls for some positivity? Hopefully now the weather's getting nice, so you can quickly eat and maybe hop outside for a quick walk or some air? :)

Those jerks can have fun with their premature heart attacks, diabetes, and McD's. :P I know how it is though with people being unsupportive. Some of my poker friends thinks it's HILARIOUS to bring tons of cookies, pizza, and candy to poker and start razzing my eating. :P But then again, one of the guys does not exercise AT ALL, eats like crap (I saw him eat 4-5 slices of pizza in a sitting), and has gained about 150 lbs in less than a year's time because of it. I see how much trouble he has just staying awake for the games, the difficulty he has moving around, and it motivates me even more to get up and get moving!! And nothing says "I'm awesome" better than the way I can move around, the "You look so DIFFERENT!!" comments, and the confidence I feel. Remember this: NOTHING tastes as awesome as being healthy FEELS!! :D

You're on a good path! Don't give up!!

**hugs**



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KATMIAOW420's Photo KATMIAOW420 SparkPoints: (0)
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3/18/11 5:16 P

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I would be super blunt (no pun intended) with him. I would tell him this is about my health and my life! I would also recommend he go to counseling to talk to someone about his insecurity issues and trust issues stemming from that. Tell him this is a priority for you and him making light of this issue (or sabataoging you) is very hurtful as this is a lifestyle change and you want to be healthy for yourself and wanting to be healthy for both of you.

Luckily, my DH is VERY supportive (and very quick to call me on non healthy eating choices and not working out!!), but I've come across some people who I thought would be behind me 100%, but they are not the most supportive. :( But then again, some people are really threatened by change and will set out to spread their negativity.

Have a heart to heart and be honest with him. Hopefully he'll see how this is for the best for you and the relationship in general, and if he doesn't, at least you'll have a healthy YOU!!

**hugs**



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KAURAKITTEN's Photo KAURAKITTEN Posts: 1,067
3/18/11 1:30 P

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My husband has been supportive from the beginning but I get a lot of crap from the guys I work with. Some of them thought it was funny to sit next to me at break with 6 of the large bags of McDonalds filled with burgers and pies. I told them all I was happy their wives were happy with fat old rude men sitting around the house being buttheads. It just made things worse. If he cares about you he has to support you, even if it means someday you'll leave him behind BECAUSE FOR RIGHT NOW he's with you and he should let you enjoy this time. If he continues with this he risks more of a chance of losing you, just like I lost 4 friends the night they decided to sit down and make fun of me.

 current weight: 255.0 
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WORKPEACEFULLY's Photo WORKPEACEFULLY Posts: 410
3/18/11 1:27 P

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I'm sorry he thinks he's funny when he isn't. Like all of the PP said, men sometimes don't understand why or how what they say affects us. I would correct it as soon as he says it. Something like, "That's not helping me." or "just a simple "Not funny!"

Luckily, my dh isn't around much to do stuff like that. As a trucker, he's gone for weeks at a time. However, he is a first class saboteur, asking for me to bake treats or telling me I don't have to cook, that we can grab dinner out.

Peace, Rachel

Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results."- James Allen (the quote I get my screen name from!)


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BOOBOOKITTYKAT's Photo BOOBOOKITTYKAT Posts: 522
3/18/11 11:55 A

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I just flat out tell him that it isn't funny as soon as he says it. I point out that I'm trying to do something good for me and remind him that what is good for me is good for everyone in the house because no one wants an unhappy Momma Kat walking around. I also remind him that he has plenty of things I could make fun of but I don't know. Unless he really pisses me off then I surely don't hold back.



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CD7565518 Posts: 1,861
3/18/11 10:53 A

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Thanks Ladies,

We did have a conversation about a lot of stuff last night. And he admits he's afraid that I'm going to go back one of 2 of my exes. Not because I'm losing weight (or that was an issue with either of them) but because 8 out of 10 of his past girlfriends did break up with him and went back with their ex, one became a lesbian and then the other just hasn't dated anyone since they broke up. So his fear comes from his own past.

He more makes fun of the food itself then the healthy habits and makes dumb excuses. Like he's not a fan of string beans because they're always slimy. I made them not slimy and he didn't know what to think of it.

And its not like these healthy eating is new. Its almost been a year. But just lately I've wanted to throw him out the window!

AFTERMYKIDS's Photo AFTERMYKIDS Posts: 4,160
3/18/11 10:40 A

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Luckily My DH does not make comments about my weight or eating habits. I honestly don't understand how people can deal w/that day after day. My dad has always done to my mom. Now he claims his on board & even acts like he might be this time. I explain to him, if he doesn't stop making comments, whether she sticks w/it or NOT, he is making it so much harder. Yes she has had times that she has lost weight only to gain it back but atleast she is doing something. I even had to ask him if he WANTED HER TO DIE!? Because if he didn't stop that is what's going to happen. I really don't think they mean it Most of the time. It's almost like dealing w/a kid. If they see a big person at the store & say "mom look at that lady, or why is she so big?" They are not trying to hurt someone just uneducated about health or sizes of different people, so I explain to my kids that people are all different sizes just like colors. Some people do it for a reason, some have no idea, you never know what is going on in their lives so WE can NOT judge & making a comment about their weight or food choices is a form of judging even if you don't mean to. Men & some women need to have the same thing explained. Anyway I would explain to him how He made me feel. If you need him to help in anyway BE HONEST w/him. I agree w/the other lady, he could be afraid you will drop him once you get more confident w/yourself. It has been known to happen & some men are very self conscious about that. Be open & honest and maybe he will do the same. emoticon of luck! emoticon

Becky

Beginning my journey again!! It's NOT about how many times you fall, it's how many times you get back up!! WOW, it's 2017 but I'm getting back up once again!!

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MEANT2BCURVY's Photo MEANT2BCURVY SparkPoints: (0)
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3/18/11 10:02 A

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Men...can't live with them and shooting them is messy.

I guess your best bet is to be absolutely honest with him that joking about your new healthy eating and other lifestyle changes hurts your feelings. If he says you are too sensitive then start making jokes about his sexual prowess (even if you have to lie a little) and see how he feels about that.

Chances are he may be insecure about the changes to how you look and feel. He may be afraid you will ditch him for a better model once the changes are permanent and you are smokin' hot.

Honesty.....such a bother....but so so important. Good Luck!!

~Maureen~

Definition of Insanity: Taking More than You Need.

Don't try to supress laughter - it'll go straight to your hips!

www.meant2bcherished.com


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ZUCCHINIQUEEN's Photo ZUCCHINIQUEEN Posts: 9,238
3/18/11 6:45 A

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Men and women have different senses of what is funny. That said, you have to slowly educate him on what YOU think is appropriate and funny. Often they do not mean harm, they just say inappropriate things that they think will defuse an uncomfortable situation.

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CD7565518 Posts: 1,861
3/18/11 1:00 A

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When I studied for the SAT I learned the word Defenestration- The act of throwing someone or something out the window.

Sometimes I want nothing more to throw my boyfriend out the window. I admit lately I've been going nuts because I'm not working and need to be doing something and because of that every little detail is driving me up the wall. I talked to him about this tonight and got A LOT off my chest.

One of the major things was his "sense of humor" about my eating healthy and working out. That could have gone a lot better. So my question is, how do you talk to your other half about being supportive and not making "funny" joke that really aren't that funny?

Edited by: CD7565518 at: 3/18/2011 (01:01)
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