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10/31/19 5:10 P

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"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping-stones out of stumbling blocks." -- Jack Penn


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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 775,576
10/29/19 5:00 P

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I'm so sorry to hear this, hun! emoticon sent your way for feeling better soon and for the nightmares to end.

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INCH_BY_INCH SparkPoints: (388,806)
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10/29/19 2:06 P

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"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping-stones out of stumbling blocks." -- Jack Penn


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MAMADEE016's Photo MAMADEE016 Posts: 1,262
10/29/19 1:23 A

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Forgive me for not posting here much. I feel like that makes it unfair to ask for support now. But this is the most likely place for me to find any support at the moment.

In my PTSD therapy session today I said a lot (too much?) about my abusive marriage. I've been sick (with a "cold") since the 17th & had very literally spent from Sat evening (19th) til Sat morning (26th) in bed, getting out for the bathroom, but so ill, so weak, so exhausted, I relied on my girls to provide food & drink during that time. Sleep was so hard. Every time I fell asleep I had nightmares of abuses from the past. My ex always took abusive advantage of me when I was down for any reason. The difficulty with sleep I'm sure added to the challenge of recovering from this "cold".
I had a visit with my primary doc before the therapy session - she ordered a lot of bloodwork - results came in after the therapy... everything is fine, all results in normal ranges, nothing concerning there. So it's not any of my chronic conditions adding to the recovery issue. Therapist suggested it's the nightmares, the reliving of abusive episodes in my past (also during times I was sick) that is contributing to the difficult recovery now.
She repeatedly said the body remembers the traumas & when we're in very similar circumstances, even if not abusive, it can respond just as it did during the abuse.

I HATE THIS!
It's like it will never go away! Not really! A part of it is always going to be there! A part of HIM is always going to be there!
I want to scream but I can't right now - it's after midnight - people are sleeping - my girls are sleeping & some have to be at work really early - plus screaming will bring on questions - questions I don't want to answer right now

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Edited by: MAMADEE016 at: 10/29/2019 (01:24)
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