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12 Nov, Day 100 - This is How I Live
What are the five favorite/best Lessons written in this book?

I have completed the first 100 days of this journey having lost 20 pounds, so with 20 more pounds to lose I will begin a new journey using the 100 more Days of weght loss beginning tomorrow. Today I will go through my journal a make a list of favorite lessons, what needs more work, and what worked best. Itís taken me too long to get here, and I feel guilt and shame for still being 40 pounds over weight. It is hard to feel pride in having lost 60 pounds when I should not have gained the eighty pounds in the first place, but I am pleased for having the strength, finally, to get where I am.

11 Nov, Day 99 - It's Not IN Here, DO SOMETHING ELSE
This is where Iíve been for the last four days...I need something else and I donít know what it is. Or do I? I need my family. I need nurturing. I need to feel love. and I am not getting those things and I have no one to turn to. I am not alone in that department, just all alone. Food will not fix this situation. Distraction? Listen to good music? Hug Rosie? Read my book? Polish wood surfaces? Write to my brother John? Write to my sil Linda. Channel skinny people: Karolyn, MaryMonte, Brigit? There are alternatives...no substitutions, and there will never be the real deal...live with it!

10 Nov, Day 98 - New Year's Resolution
Today is 19 Nov 2020, and I now weigh 140 Lbs! I am pleased with how good I look in the mirror. My body feels normal for the first time in years! Iíve learned how to tame stress eating, that mindless urge to eat whatever is available.my new years resolution is to continue Tracking my food and my exercises, so that I am never over 140 lbs ever again!

9 Nov, Day 97 - Use What Works
Think back to when This Was working, and try to recapture the momentum. Difficulty is still happening. But I do need to roll up my sleeves and work harder. I feel lost.......

8 Nov, Day 96 - What will it Take?
I am going thru a very difficult time, right now, and I canít figure out what itís going to take to get me back on track. Iím a bit in denial-thinking that I am on track, but I am not! I need to read this chapter again.
7 Nov, Day 95 - Set Your Intentions
My intentions are to be realistic about cravings. Is what IĎm craving actually Short Ribs, or am I missing my family like Hell. (600 cals of short ribs didnít fill that hole, after all). Meditation didnít work. Think I need an entire me-day.

6 Nov, Day 94 - Three Columns of Weight Loss
If I lived every day as I lived today I would lose weight...living like this 90% of the time would be ok by me.

5 Nov, Day 93 - My 20-Year Plan
Is to be dead in twenty years, at a good weight for pallbearers. My plan for the duration is to live as I live now: determine a caloric range, endeavor to consume the limits, track everything, and make necessary adjustments. Exercise five days a week, ST for two, cardio for three. Forgive any slipups, but get right back on plan. Take care of emotional needs through meditation, being mindful of my natural surroundings, reading, or relaxing while listening to music. Holidays and health issues are triggers. I will deal with them as they occur. If I begin to gain weight, I will reevaluate my habits, and make adjustments. I am on the right path.

4 Nov, Day 92 - Accept the Solution
And the Solution is to live my final days as an obesic. I can accept this. Iíve been wondering if I Ďd ever be able to go back to my usual habits, and the answer is No. as a note: people who seem to eat whatever they want without gaining weight donít gain weight because they arenít closet eaters. I do eat what I want, for the most part, I just donít eat as much of it...finding how much is too much has been my challengeóusing the BMI formula and comparing that with my Tracker is how Iíve been losing weight, and that will help me to maintain, when the time comes. I would like to weigh 125 lbs, but my goal is 140 ó which I think is a more realistic goal. I am a diabetic who also has obesis.

3 Nov, Day 91- Obesity is a Condition
I am a little stunned to discover that I am an obesic; I really thought that once I reach goal, Iíll go thru maintenance, then live a normal life. Dang! Today was a bag-of-chips day, and I hope that is the end of it. I hate having to be Strong. No. I will start living At My Best. I think when Iím At My Best I still have slip-ups, but the donít rule my life, and theyíre not a problem: at my best, I pick myself up, dust myself off, and go on as if nothing has happened. I can do this. Yes I can.

2 Nov, Day 90 - Live as If (Iím at My Best
Still misinterpreting this. Behaving my best means being kind and thoughtful of othersóitís not about (selfish) me at all. Need to practice this tomorrow, do yesterdayís assignment as well as tomorrowís. Where the heck have I been!?!

1 Nov, Day 89 - At My Best (i miss-read this)
At my best i am confident, courteous, and courageousóa different person than when I am on my down days. I also know Iím not fooling anybody when Iím that ccc person...I am usually a wreck. I think thatís why I missread it in the first place.

31 Oct, Day 88 - I Do Care
I proved I care by no eating Halloween candy. I care enough to stay on track 90% of the time. I do care, so I try to do better.

30 Oct, Day 87 - Old Habits
I've dropped my cookie snack and now have cheese and crackers, my tv snack is another healthy one. Other than that, Iíve no food habits that need to be dropped.

29 Oct, Day 86 -Minimize the Damage
I am learning to do this. There is so much information on this site, and on the internet in general, that I have read about bingeing, overeating, etc. I feel I have a much better grip on damage control now than ever before.

28 Oct, Day 85 - Let it Go
Let two things go; will need to repeat for reinforcement

27 Oct, Day 84 - The Expectation Square
Did not want to do this: I expect dh to change. I need to slap myself everytime I Ďm disappointed with his behavior. I need to learn to let things just roll off my back. I need to accept those things that I cannot change. To remember for better or worseóand his worse is very minor.what an idiot I am, Siam.

26 Oct, Day 83 - No More Deprivation
The Contradictions in this "method" are wearing: I don't feel deprived because I can, and do, eat what I want--but it smaller amounts--and include the cal/carb counts in my daily totals. We have been taught since birth that we can do ANYTHING so there is nothing my weight can prevent me from doing. None of us should feel deprived. Now. I grew up with very little available food, clothing, and love--we had shelter, and it was important that the food nourish our bodies, so I grew up not eating sugar and other white stuff. Our bread was REAL wholewheat, our fruits and vegetable from what we grew, our protein from what my dad caught or shot. Funnything. As an adult in my 50's, before I was diagnosed with diabetes, I began to crave all things we never ate. Then came the weight, then the diagnosis, then the education about portion control. Once food was readily available in my life, then came the over-eating and the weight gain. Being exposed to so many choices is/was almost overwhelming. Still, I've never felt deprived. Sensible eating is not deprivation in my book. Poor self-control has always been my issue--from my tongue to my toes. Dh uses phrases like, I can't eat that, and I shouldn't eat that; my vocabulary has always been, I don't eat this, and I don't particularly like it, but now I can eat it if I want to--just be sensible about it. Somewhere in there is the explanation for the binges of my past, and the occasional current times of overeating. As I experienced last week when I ate two cookies and a 1 lb (with shells) package of pistachios which is so unappealing to me today!

25 Oct, Day 82 - Last Straw Eating
What should I do after the munching has been triggered, I've taken three deep breaths, and one more thing happens that drives me to food. Leave the room. Take a Walk. Three More Breaths. Don't give in/up!
I noticed today that whenever Mike gets annoyed with me, and he does often, I feel hunger pains. Fortunately I was in the car when it happened 3 times and I woke. We were on our way to lunch, yet I still managed to eat fairly light, and was trapped in the car for the most time, so I couldn't grab a handful of nuts. I realise his decline reminds me of my decline so I get worried about him, then about me and I want to sooth through eating.

24 Oct, Day 81 - Un-hook the Chains
When things go sideways, go back to where it all began, and decide what should have been done. A few purposeful deep breaths just might be the trick, providing That I know that Iím heading down the rabbit hole. Hindsight is 2020!

23 Oct, Day 80 -Get a New Title
I am one Foxy Fit Gramma...donít mess wit me, cause Iím all that! Tee hee!

22 Oct, Day 79 - Live as a Healthy Person
As a healthy person, I get enough rest, I eat a healthy breakfast, I choose healthy foods throughout the day, I strength train twice a week, I do cardio at least three times a week, an I am pleasant to everyone I meet

21 Oct, Day 78 - Ditch the Critic
That was hard to do today!!! I had a momentary lapse, but I tracked an posted every bite, now Iím looking for an explanation of why this happened, forgiving myself, and am going to massage oil into my achy legs so I will feel better. Do/say something positive to ANOTHER person--this life is NOT ALL ABOUT ME!

20 Oct, Day 77 - The Healing Powers of Rituals
Create a stress-reducing ritual to carryout after stressful events. When the adrenaline is up, I like to walk-it-off. I could add a cup if tea after the walk.not a good day.

19 Oct, Day 76 - Emotional Safety
I donít even know where to start on this...my dh affords me no privacy except in the bathroom, and even then heíd be knocking and asking if Iím alright, I need more insight on this. I made tons of baby blankets for other peopleís babies, and before called it quits, I made on for myself which I wrap around my shoulders when Iím blue. Today I bought a Teddy Bear to hold, squeeze, and love when all is wrong with the world. I feel a bit goofy.

18 Oct, Day 75 - Small Wins
Small winds today: healthy lunch; healthy breakfast (but ate that third sausage); healthy snack; healthy dinner; tracking it all! Made it home safely; saw Dolly; it was a good day and a good trip.

17 Oct, Day 74 - Watch for Rainbows
This ia a really good idea: timely. Noy having a good day. Found no rainbows. Iím living with the frustration of having made a mistake and tring to make the best of it. dh and I are jut not on the same page regarding this misadventure, and I feel like I really blrew this one. Not life or lifestyle threating, just a major disappoint about my future. No blue-birds of happiness in my final days. Oh, well, this, too, shall pass. Just another brick in the wall. What a lousy lonely, loser I turned out to be.

16 Oct, Day 73 - All or Nothing
Not a perfectionist. Know that eating more calories than I burn will result in weight gain. Know that I am human and will make mistakes from time-to-time. Know itís not the end of the world. Not interested in deliberately sabotaging my eating plan.

15 Oct, Day 72 - Sneak Eating
This is a bit flawed...having others be your food police is not healthy. What is important is to get to the root of the need to eat in private. Part of my problem is there are just the two of us and he shuts me out during meals. That leaves me to think Iím not worthy or repulsive. Iíll have to continue working on this one...Iím feeling a little icky about this. I truly enjoy eati g out, which means I enjoy otherís company when eating. At home, I donít want them to see me enjoy a cookie, or candy. Why? More wor on this one.

14 Oct, Day 71 - Itís too Hard
Life is hard. Nothing irritates me more than when my full-grown husband whines that something is too hard...my response to his complaint is-then Iíll do it! And then I insist that I do it myself. What I told my growing boys is-yeah, itís tuff, but youíre tougher. I do hard stuff all the time, so why should eating less and exercising more be my downfall? It shouldnít, and I wonít let it...my motto? Whine no More. I am made of sturdy stuff. Now, why do ďtheyĒ say itís too hard? Because they donít want to do it. This losing weight and being fit? I want to do it - if for no other reason than to prove I can!

13 Oct, Day 70 - No Good or Bad
Eating is not a moral issue ó I am making either healthy or unhealthy choicesónot being a bad or good person. Last nightís choice was questionable: I ate a lot of veggies, but Iím beginning to think eating a lot of anything isnít a good choice. Those veggies were good! The sauce is what worries me.

12 Oct, Day 69 - No Cheating Allowed
I am making food choices; the word cheat does not apply. Everything that goes in my mouth gets there after Iíve made the choice to put it there.

11 Oct, Day 68 - I had a Pause
Donít beat myself up for having slips; think of it as having a pause, find out what brought it on, develop a prevention plan, then move onódonít beat myself up...Ever!

10 Oct, Day 67 - Never Say I Blew It.
Those are negative words that could lead to more destructive behaviors. Instead, recognize the slip by saying I wonder what brought that on, nip it in the bud, and what can I do to prevent it from happening again.

9 Oct, Day 66 - Donít Even Start
This is one of those timing issuesówish I knew when to expect trouble, then I could prepare. Most days it doesnít occur to start, or Iíll have no problem taking one biteóthen out of- the blue, Iím wanting more, and I want it Now! Hopefully, Iíll be able to brainwash myself before the next test hits.

8 Oct, Day 65 - Just say No and Walk Away
Or come up with a statement of my own. Anything that might get me away from temptation. Practice saying it and walking away, so it becomes habitual.

7 Oct, Day 64 - Make a List of Non-Food Triggers
Feeling sorrow about my life situation, having a disagreement with anybody, being hungry.
How to deal with these situations without eating? Flee the kitchen, run for my life, remind nyself that eating only makes things worse, the, leave the room. Feed the crows. Water a plant. File those papers. Wrap myself up in my baby blankee...thatís what itís for. Talk to me ma.

6 Oct, Day 63 - Eliminate Triggers
My house is pretty well Trigger-Free

5 Oct, Day 62 - Non-Food Triggers
Stress, stress, stress ó hands down

4 Oct, Day 61 - Food Triggers
Just because food triggers exist, doesnít mean that I will not be able to resist. I am aware, most times I Ďm amused...this week. When Iím under any kind of emotional stress, there will be a problem.

3 Oct, Day 60 - Create Stop Signs
This one makes no sense. I do try to talk myself out of eating situations...sometimes it works, sometimes not...the choices are mine

2 Oct -Day 59 - Heart Hunger Insteads
The solution to heart hunger i s to find the void and fill it. After years of crocheting baby blankets for new moms, I crocheted one for me (using Cashmere blend yarns, and I wrap myself in it when there is no one to wrap my arms around...it works well enough to keep me from de-railing.

1 Oct 2019 - Day 58 - Heart Hunger
The feelings of loneliness, depression, emptiness usually lead to cravings for sweet, soft, gooey foods. Been there, done that...it ainít pretty.

Edited by: MARILEIGHA at: 11/12/2019 (11:31)
Pacific Time

 current weight: 159.2 
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