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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 27,713
10/21/19 10:59 A

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I keep that statement I found on an image...
Don't reward yourself with food, you're not a dog.
So I try not to make any food any type of prize/reward.

Renee, AR, USA, CST ~ Live Aloha! ~
Where’s your will to be weird?
Whatever is good for your soul, do that.
Lose your excuses, find your success.
Your body achieves what your mind believes.
Will what you're eating help or hinder your health?


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NOCALORIES's Photo NOCALORIES Posts: 19,550
10/18/19 9:19 P

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Day 55 - Food is the consolation prize

I am learning that food is no prize and extras only add extra weight to my body so I must continue to be careful and only eat to fuel my body.

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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 13,728
10/18/19 12:31 P

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Day 55 - Food is the consolation prize


"You probably didn't start out being an emotional eater. But as you were growing up, food began to show up almost everywhere. Soon it didn't seem to matter whether you were hungry or not - you ate anyway"

This is the horror script I am trying to move away from.
I am developing some strategies to counter these habits and make new habits.
The biggest is planning what to eat the day before and sticking to the plan.
Eating mindfully, slowly, taking at least 20 minutes per meal so I feel full, not snacking, no choice (no choice today, I made the choices yesterday and put them in a plan for today), don't think about food, I have a meal plan and if I stick to the plan, food will stay in it's place of fuel and nourishment.
I don't want to eat for emotional reasons.

Edited by: JUNEPA at: 10/18/2019 (12:37)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,731
10/18/19 11:00 A

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Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,065
10/18/19 7:11 A

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Day #55 Food is the Consolation Prize

Over the years I have gotten very good at masking feelings of sorrow, anger, being over-whelmed, etc with food.
It takes that split-second between the thought and the action to change things from grabbing for food or finding another solution.



Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

Motivation for daily EXERCISE is my CHOICE!
Focus on accepting and believing this!


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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,542
12/30/18 5:04 P

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Day 55, 100 days Food is the consolation prize

Gill and Paula I think maybe you have explained why I went so crazy with food before Christmas I had been without Crisps, Chocolate and Cake for almost 2 weeks and lost weight but maybe that is why once I had been Weighed Lightly (at my target weight) I then rebelled and enjoyed them a little too much! In January I need to keep having the treats but planning them and so in moderation as much as possible, I can only try.

As it happens on Saturday I continued to try to be 'sensible' but as the day went on suffered some Head Hunger and ate nuts, crispbreads, crackers and cheese and lots of chocolates! Glad the festivities and food are almost over and gone! emoticon

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,019
12/30/18 3:04 A

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Ah, Paula, that after-the-party eating is not unusual - it's a sense of relief and reward. We cover it somewhere in these books - can't remember where right now. It's also to do with the amount of self-control we've had to exert to be 'good' - suddenly it's all too much and the walls come crashing down. It's tiring having to be disciplined and resist temptation!


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 26,809
12/29/18 7:50 P

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The most recent time I ate to feel better was Christmas night after spending a very long day moving through several different obligations. By the time I got home and it was time to finally have some time to myself I kind of went crazy with some of the treats that had been sent home with us.....then some of the food I had prepared for the Christmas meal. I had been stressed leading up to Christmas Day with the responsibility of putting together a feast for guests, then having to clean up after that and drive DH and I on a 2 hour each way drive for a second family celebration. My emotions upon returning home were relief that the day was done and my lunch "production" had been a success -- so I'm wondering what emotion I had that made me feel I needed to eat those sweets and the sweet potato casserole?

What did I really want? I got plenty of compliments and praise about the meal so I'm not sure. Maybe what I really wanted was a hot bath and escape of some kind.

Paula -- Waco, TX area
CST zone

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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,731
12/29/18 10:32 A

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That link between food and emotions - it's been very difficult to sever. It's something I still struggle with at times. But I'm determined. This is a great lesson. Another one of my favorites - I have a lot of them.

Babs
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,929
12/26/18 8:25 P

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Day 55 Linda writes: "...overeating numbs your feelings and you can stop noticing what’s missing in your life. Food simply provides a legal, socially acceptable way to escape from reality. Although eating may temporarily soothe an emotional need, unfortunately, the end result never matches your dream. Food becomes the consolation prize emoticon It’s better than nothing, but not even close to what you really wanted—to be loved, appreciated, or comforted. Whenever you reach for something to eat but know you aren’t hungry, stop and ask yourself..."
What do I really want? Thirsty instead of hungry? Perhaps a hug. Rest my eyes, Deep Breathe. A prize is reaching for food when I come home. I maybe tired or happy - it's an impulsive behavior I want to fix. I will change my routine: retreat to dark cool basement, meditate, create distractions.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 12/29/2018 (07:24)
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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,471
4/30/18 9:03 A

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I am posting this 3 days AFTER the fact. Last Friday was an awful day for my eating behavior and when I read this lesson on Saturday I just couldn't figure it out. It seemed way off the point of what I had experienced with an assignment that was of no help to me. So I have taken a couple of days off and re-read it again today, Monday.

I have a clearer understanding today about how we use food as a reward! I especially liked the examples that C gave:

getting through a stressful day
a lower number on the scale
eating healthy foods for awhile
doing chores
finishing a challenging task
because eating was more fun than anything else

The first part of Friday was filled with frustration and so I am still thinking this lesson does not apply to that situation. Maybe Day 52 Food As An Instant Fix fits this better.

But the second part of the day might be applied and I'm wondering if it didn't even start on

Wednesday - lunch out with DH while running several errands
Thursday - Happy Hour drinks with DH on a beautiful day before attending a family event.
Friday - Happy Hour drinks with DH and wines with dinner for dad

I'm wondering is after doing 55 days of 100 DWL I was needing some rewards, because, after all, look -

at how long I have stuck with this
at how beautiful the weather FINALLY is
at how long it has been since I have worked at cutting back my calories from alcoholic drinks
at how long it has been since I have been cutting back on the times DH and I dine out to
save money and calories
at what a good girl I've been
at how mentally tired I am
at how I just want to feel "normal" and eat intuitively instead of fretting over every bite of food
and sip of liquid.

Yup. Food is an easy reward!



Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,199
4/29/18 10:23 P

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“You want somebody to care...”. Like the adage that says to learn to love your body as it is and it will be easier to change it, I suspect there is an advantage of learning to care for ourselves, to be friends with ourselves, to comfort (be compassionate to) ourselves. No, it’s not easy, but worth it to give it a try.

Quotes from Brooke Castillo’s podcast #25 on Emotional Adulthood —

“...we don't even realize that we teach each other that other people are responsible for how we feel, and it's the most disempowering thing that we can do...Emotional adulthood is when we decide to take full responsibility for every single thing we feel, no matter what someone else does or doesn't do.”



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CAROLYNINJOY1's Photo CAROLYNINJOY1 Posts: 12,173
4/29/18 1:33 A

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100 Days Challenge, Day 55 - Food is the consolation prize

Today’s assignment

1. Recall any recent times when you ate in order to feel better. Perhaps at a family gathering, you used food to fill your need for love and acceptance. Or maybe you reached for a snack to calm your anger or frustration at work.

The last time I remember eating to feel better was at a Christmas gathering. My MIL had come to visit unexpectedly and had been staying with us for 11 days. Our relationship was strained at best and after that long a stay, it was becoming nearly unbearable. I grabbed a giant bag of M & M's and sat on the couch eating them by the handful. She looked at me and said: "You haven't stopped eating since I've been in the room." She was right. Every word she spoke seemed to have barbs attached and to avoid reacting in anger or frustration, I was stuffing down those feelings. Later I told my Hubby that she could make Mahatma Ghandi want to slap her after a while. The was many years ago and she has passed on, but that specific time I remember well.

2. Describe other personal experiences with emotional eating.

When I moved from Washington State to Arizona and left behind my daughter and grandchildren, my church parish and all my friends, I did a LOT of emotional eating. I didn't have anyone to talk to and I was grieving the loss although they were still living, they weren't where I could embrace them, or look into their eyes. I was overwhelmed with saddness and ate mindlessly for several months. Needless to say, that was the beginning of a big weight gain.

3. Even if you initially felt better, consider whether the food really met your needs or if it was just the consolation prize. Then identify what you really wanted instead. Write a few notes about this.

The food did not meet my needs or help me feel better. It just temporarily numbed me because I didn't want to feel. What I really wanted was a different type of relationship with my MIL and to be able to be physically close to my daughter and grandchildren. I still miss them terribly but have found other forms of consolation than eating over it. Just writing about it brings back sadness but now I'll pick up the phone or contact them on facebook.

Joy is a Choice. Choose joy moment by moment.

When all else fails, persistence prevails.

Injoy:) Carolyn

(Arizona - Mountain Standard Time)

My personal story as a blog:
https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
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CHANGEPOWER's Photo CHANGEPOWER Posts: 4,969
4/28/18 11:52 A

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Food used to be a reward for:

getting through a stressful day at work
a lower number on the scale (seems silly right?)
eating healthy foods for awhile
doing chores (laundry in the basement)
for bringing home a paycheck
for making it through a long week (take out food)
because others eat it I rewarded myself by eating some too
because eating was more fun than exercise
if I was eating out, I felt I might as well binge all day

Now food is food. It serves (me) no other purpose. It is not a prize. I can eat what I want when I want. It will always be available somewhere.

My dog still gets it as a consolation prize!

C

Live in the moment


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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,731
4/28/18 10:24 A

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Goodness we all have soooooooo much in common - including a love of SP.

I've been a 'winner' so many times and now I'm working very hard to be a 'loser.' I'll do it too.

As far as a 'consolation' for being sick, Mtn_Kitten, I understand what you're saying. I've had pneumonia a couple of times. That's some bad stuff to say the least. But you know what I noticed too it really messed with my taste buds. Between being sick plus the meds, nothing tasted right and I craved salt. Of course, salt is one of my trigger foods. But I had to eat or the medication made my stomach hurt. So I did what I did and the salty stuff plus all the fluids made me gain. You'll get there.

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN SparkPoints: (174,341)
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4/28/18 10:17 A

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As Gill said, I am sorry y’all struggle with food and weight … but it’s comforting to be amongst people who understand. Our SIL is an alcoholic … 4+ years sober now … and AA is his “comfort” zone like Sparks is mine.

Food has been a reward, release, an anesthesia … a consolation. I was sick from January to ummm, last week. It started with hospitalized pneumonia and ended with the “common” cold. I deserved … a consolation. Instead of getting a medal … I ate.

As Gill shared … Chopra calls this a groove in our brain of how we repeatedly do things. Eating has been my MO forever.

My new MO … finish projects. That’s my new reward.


Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,325
4/28/18 8:34 A

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Oh yes food is my prize. As I stated before I eat when I’m happy, sad, excited, bored.. I’m learning to eat something healthy instead of sweets. Now that spring is coming (but we are to have a dusting of snow tonight ) I will be walking more.

One day at a time!


Gloria.
EST Pennsylvania
2017 Spring 5% Challenge Tiger Monarchs
Biggest Loser Summer Challenge Golden Phoenix
Biggest Loser Fall Challenge Golden Phoenix 2017


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,065
4/28/18 5:28 A

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As Donna puts it, I’m a work in progress!
My reaction to not grab for the consolation prize of extra food is better because I’ve become more aware.


Day #55 Food is the Consolation Prize
To remember that eating when I'm not really hungry will only mask what I need at that moment changes everything.
Over the years I have gotten very good at masking feelings of sorrow, anger, being over-whelmed, etc with food.
It takes that split-second between the thought and the action to change things from grabbing for food or finding another solution.
The nice weather now is perfect for a walk outside or heading to the swing on the front porch with a book! Kind of like a "time-out" for grown-ups!


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

Motivation for daily EXERCISE is my CHOICE!
Focus on accepting and believing this!


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,019
12/30/17 3:14 P

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Oh, it's so good to know I'm not alone! I'm not pleased that you also struggle, but it does show that there's more to this than meets the eye, doesn't it? Either caving in to eating things we try to avoid during the holidays, or afterwards as a 'reward' for being 'good' and not eating them during the holidays! It's the type of 'food' that's the problem, I'm sure - not just food itself. It's the non-food stuff - the sugar/fat/salt/carb mixtures.

I just found an explanation for why Xmas is particularly hard - in starting to read a Deepak Chopra book 'What are you hungry for?' - he says that the behaviour of always doing something (eg always eating chocolates, cookies, cakes in excess at Xmas) establishes 'grooves' in our brain. We get kind of stuck in those grooves and find ourselves doing it over and over again. The only way to stop it is to work really hard at establishing a new behaviour (bit like digging a flood-relief channel for the river!) which makes it more possible for us to avoid going down the same old negative groove. This makes a lot of sense to me as every Xmas is always a time when I fall into bad eating behaviours.

I also want to add that I was definitely rewarded and comforted with food when I was growing up - one memory I have was of being pushed home from the dentist in a push-chair (so I must have been pretty small - probably an extraction) and given boiled sweets to suck (brandy balls - I remember them well - I don't think they had brandy in!). We always had something to eat as soon as we got in from school - jam sandwiches, cake. And I also have an enduring memory of my mother dumping the groceries down on the kitchen table and ripping into crusty French bread in a kind of exhausted temper!

I learned to comfort myself with sugar. I learned to eat when I was tired. And to tear into things wantonly when I was feeling mad.

I'm terribly afraid that I probably did the same to my son! I'm so sorry, son!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,195
12/30/17 2:11 P

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Day 55, Food is the consolation prize

Oh Phyllis - I so relate to wanting to eat goodies after the holidays. I used to always gain weight in January. The last couple of years have been better as I try to stick close to the No S tenets, but it always seemed strange that I could hold strong through Christmas and New Years and then fall apart just when I should be making strides to a healthier new year.

This year I can't say that won't happen but the house is mostly devoid of goodies right now. I am craving a hot chocolate though - Ah! It is an S day, I think I will just have that cup of warm creamy goodness later.

Food has been the consolation prize in my past, going way back to my child hood when I often heard "Eat, you'll feel better". Thank you Grandma - it was comforting but it really wasn't what I needed. In my teens I ate after a bad day at school, a bad date, an argument with a friend, anything negative could be helped with a positive - I just always chose food as my positive instead of talking it out, asking for forgiveness, forgiving, or just letting go.

Now I do try acknowledge the situation that is making me want to eat and usually I can say; that is no longer what I do. Then I take a walk, make a phone call, run an errand, or get busy at home. All of those things work better than food and....no guilt!

exercise today - Everyday body workout - my first in awhile but I think I'm up for it!

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,542
12/30/17 1:15 P

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Day 55, 100 days Food is the consolation prize

I don't think my family ever used food to make 'my sore knees' magically better as Linda suggests!

I try not use the food to 'comfort me' but festivities are still affecting my eating sadly. I continue to be a work in progress. emoticon

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,065
12/30/17 9:38 A

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Day #55 Food is the consolation prize
The connection of how my brain is programmed to do what I've always done while I keep planning and planning to change is a good lesson for me to keep working on.

Although with careful planning through the holiday season, I was able to be proactive and not give in to all the extra food around, now that we are past those days I am finding it hard to keep on my healthy plan. It’s like now I need the consolation prize for being so good for the past months!

Good thing my new plans include a 5% challenge, a vacation for my next birthday and the determination to keep changing what I can to make my life healthy and happy. These are my favorite “consolation” prizes!



Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

Motivation for daily EXERCISE is my CHOICE!
Focus on accepting and believing this!


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FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
12/30/17 9:12 A

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Day 55 Food WAS the consolation prize

I used to be that way, but now I am different.

I used to rely on an entire box of Little Debbies, an entire container of Lofthouse cookies, a king size Symphony bar with a bottle of Mountain Dew to get me through the tough days of caregiving and/or working 60+ hours a week.

Now I have Tom and can rely on a nice strong hug when needed. I have our passion for the outdoors and enjoying nature together. I have a sewing machine and can steel myself away for a few minutes for some thread therapy.

I have my BUJO and can jot down my feelings or page through the collections I've started.
I have adult coloring books and pencils. I have found great stress relief in completing those pages and designing layouts in my BUJO.


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CGH-ARTYPANTS's Photo CGH-ARTYPANTS Posts: 1,295
12/30/17 6:33 A

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I really can't think of a time when food was a consolation prize. Not recently anyway. I have had times when a special eating event was coming up and I made sure to eat conservatively through the day so I had a decent number of calories left in my daily limit. My "prize" was being able to eat what I wanted. But I still didn't go overboard. My previous self rewarded myself with food at times, but recently it has not been a struggle.

Cheri from Georgia
Direction - not Intention - determines Destination


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,019
12/30/17 1:47 A

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Work is my main stressor at the moment. It's after work, or at work, when I'm most prone to falling off-plan as far as eating is concerned.

When I'm at work, I cannot stop and do yoga, or go for a walk etc - so I've started planning my rewards. Today's reward, that I can look forward to all day, is to watch a 2-part drama I've got lined up in iPlayer. I don't regularly watch TV or films, so this IS a 'reward' for me.

Planning my rewards (aka consolation prizes!) has been helpful.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,929
12/11/17 11:41 A

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Edited by: AURA18 at: 12/26/2018 (20:24)
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,019
8/25/17 1:13 A

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Forgive me for being 'lazy' but I'm going to re-post what I wrote last time; it still applies:-

"I know better than to say 'never', but I hardly ever use food in this way any more.

I still do need some sort of consolation prize though - it's often a cup of coffee, but sometimes it might be something like a new bottle of shower-gel, a bunch of flowers, or a piece of clothing from a charity/goodwill shop - some little gift to myself to console me."

I might also do some yoga, or go to bed early with a book or even a film - these are all ways of kind of giving myself a hug (this might be heart-hunger too)

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,195
8/24/17 1:08 P

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Day 55, Food is the consolation prize

Yes I used to turn to food to replace things I wanted to do but couldn't but now I am going after the gold ring - my health. No more consolation prizes for me. I will not sabotage my health and after the past few weeks I am reminded once again how important that is.



Exercise today - seated core Spark video and everyday body warm up and cool down

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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CTUPTON's Photo CTUPTON SparkPoints: (198,222)
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8/24/17 10:39 A

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Day 55 Food is the consolation prize

I sure do relate to this. I always wanted to travel. On trips I was energized and none of that draggy fatigue.

Alas hubby got anxious traveling. So he rarely wanted to do that. Now I am his caregiver and traveling is very difficult for me to do. Paying people to be with him is very expensive. I took him on several trips (family wedding with a motel stay, a family reunion 400 miles away). These were very difficult for me and I even hired someone to take care of his needs each morning and each evening.

So I am a frustrated traveler emoticon .

chris

I have to be diligent about caring for myself. 100 DAYS OF WEIGHT LOSS is a great way for me to keep focused. Day 1 is July 1, 2017. Build habits to produce success. Most of these habits I have at least tried before but did not sustain. First habit: delay eating by using a timer.
LONG TERM GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight.Evening Eating Sabotage Myself Frustration ..Help! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,471
8/24/17 9:48 A

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The consolation prize - turning to food when you don't get what you REALLY want!

I could analyze a few situations in which this might be the case for me, but I am going to start with the most recent which was this past w/e. We were on a w/e get-away with friends (2 other couples) and the "gathering" spot ended up being in our hotel room. The first issue came after we checked in and the guys went to get drinks and also came back with a bunch of unwanted bags of junk food! Did I resist? No I did not, but the next morning I knew I did not want a repeat of that behavior when we gathered again at the end of the day.

Did I get what I wanted? I did not! What did I want? After 2 busy days of being with a group I wanted some alone time; I was tired and my brain needed to be quiet. Unfortunately, the best option was for everyone to meet in our room again and once again I caved in to the junk food.

These situations can be sooooo hard when there are influences that are out of your control. I just couldn't figure out how to get what I wanted.

Sue

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CHANGEPOWER's Photo CHANGEPOWER Posts: 4,969
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Food was always a prize. Sometimes food is a prize for my kids. Luckily they do not focus on food like I do.

I still feel the "I deserve it" pull, and the reward pull. Even though food is food and not a reward. Mentally the pull is still there. It is like a bad habit.

C

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,065
8/24/17 7:29 A

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Day #55 Food is the Consolation Prize
To remember that eating when I'm not really hungry will only mask what I need at that moment changes everything.
Over the years I have gotten very good at masking feelings of sorrow, anger, being over-whelmed, etc with food.
It takes that split-second between the thought and the action to change things from grabbing for food or finding another solution.
The nice weather now is perfect for a walk outside or heading to the swing on the front porch with a book! Kind of like a "time-out" for grown-ups!

Phyllis ~~
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,929
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Edited by: AURA18 at: 12/11/2017 (12:06)
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BOWDIDDLE's Photo BOWDIDDLE Posts: 1,898
5/6/17 6:46 A

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Day 55 Food ( consolation prize?)

For quite sometime now (years), I have been working on disconnecting this habit! As a child, food was used to sooth my physical hurts and my emotional sad times. I'm getting better and better at noticing when I'm using food as a tool.

I have had a lot of growth in this area as a result of 100 days and this team!



"Being Challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional"
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4/24/17 8:23 A

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I know better than to say 'never', but I hardly ever use food in this way any more.

I still do need some sort of consolation prize though - it's often a cup of coffee, but sometimes it might be something like a new bottle of shower-gel, a bunch of flowers, or a piece of clothing from a charity/goodwill shop - some little gift to myself to console me.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,195
4/24/17 8:10 A

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Day 55, Food is the consolation prize

I'm going to start with my post from last time:
Oh Yes! Food is/has been the consolation prize so many times....when I'm tired, disappointed, hurt, lonely....food is/was always there. Fortunately I have learned the truth that turning to food at those times almost always will mean more negative emotions.

I used to eat unwisely when I allowed emotions make me reach for food but now, even if I reach for food, I make sure it is something healthy. That makes me feel more positive too.

Now back to the present:
I've slipped a bit in the past month. I'm still doing pretty good about not turning to food, but it certainly has been the consolation prize a few times and the big change is that I have not been reaching for healthy food at those times. I think I became a little too cocky and complacent and just stopped working the system. I've also been lazy about getting to the market so I haven't had some of my usual items in the house. I've only gained about a pound but it is a pound that has been around for several days so I know it is an actual gain. I'm making a vow to stop this creeping bad attitude now!

This week there will be no consolation prizes...just a blue ribbon for getting back on track!

Exercise for 55/100 - I'm repeating the video I did yesterday. I can really feel it in my arms even though it was easy enough for an old lady! It was Spark's Everyday workout-upper body with Lisa Whelchel

Edited by: LIVINTODAY at: 4/24/2017 (08:11)
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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
4/24/17 7:15 A

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Day 55: Food is the consolation prize
You probably didn't start out being an emotional eater. But as you were growing up, food started to show up almost everywhere. Soon it didn't seem to matter whether you were hungry or not-you ate anyway.
On your birthday, you blew out the candles, then everyone celebrated by eating chocolate cake. People encouraged you, "Eat some more; it's good for you," and they praised you for cleaning your plate. If you fell down, Mom gave you a cookie and your skinned knee magically stopped hurting.
It doesn't take a traumatic event or a bad childhood to get hooked into emotional eating. In fact, eating is one of the most common ways people cope with problems or struggles in life. You simply learned that whenever you have a tough time, food always makes you feel better.
The link between food and emotions
When you always reach for something to eat whenever you don't like how you feel, you eventually create a link between food and your emotional needs. And it seems to work. But at some point, overeating numbs your feelings and you can stop noticing what's missing in your life. Food simply provides a legal, socially acceptable way to escape from reality.
Although eating may temporarily soothe an emotional need, unfortunately, the end result never matches your dream. Food becomes the consolation prize. It's better than nothing, but not even close to what you really wanted-to be loved, appreciated, or comforted.
What you actually want
So many days, you'd give anything for someone to hold you or to offer kind, encouraging words. You want somebody to care that you have a bad cold or that your car broke down for the third time this month. You wish life was different-that you had more money, more love or more fun. When you don't get these things, it's easy to look for something (such as food) to take their place.
Whenever you reach for something to eat but know you aren't hungry, stop and ask yourself, "What do I really want or need?" Remind yourself that food will only be the consolation prize. Then think about how you can address your needs in some other way instead of expecting food to take care of them.
Recall any recent times when you ate in order to feel better. Perhaps at a family gathering, you used food to fill your need for love and acceptance. Or maybe you reached for a snack to calm your anger or frustration at work.
In your journal or notebook, describe any of your experiences with emotional eating.
Even if you initially felt better, consider whether the food really met your needs or if it was just the consolation prize. Then identify what you really wanted instead.
Food is Not the consolation Prize- but sometimes I let it get the better of me. Food is/has been the consolation prize so many times....when I'm tired, disappointed, hurt, lonely....food is/was always there.
I have learned the truth that turning to food at those times almost always will mean more negative emotions. used to eat unwisely when I allowed emotions make me reach for food but now, even if I reach for food, I make sure it is something healthy and watch the portion/exchange control. That makes me feel more positive too.
It isn't easy to turn food to NOT be the consolation prize. It sometimes takes time. it is a one day at a time. but working this book sure helpp me not to turn to food. whether I am lonely, bored. Yes we all want to be loved, appreciated comforted . A hug or pat on the back works wonders. We don't need food to make up for those emotions we are really looking for.
It isn't easy to turn food to NOT be the consolation prize. It sometimes takes time. it is a one day at a time. but working this book sure help me not to turn to food. whether I am lonely, bored. Yes we all want to be loved, appreciated comforted . A hug or pat on the back works wonders. We don't need food to make up for those emotions we are really looking for.
I plan to go thru book fourth time but spend longer on each day to work the lesson. I will write about how I am doing on each lesson and how it I am improving. I love the lessons and the book sure help me succeed in reaching my goal.
Things I want to do instead of Eating are Exercise, call a friend, go for a walk just because anything instead of eating.... Eat only when to fuel body...Not because of an emotional need.

Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,065
4/24/17 6:57 A

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Day #55 Food is the Consolation Prize
The reminder each time I read this lesson is that eating when I'm not really hungry will only mask what I really need at that moment.
Over the years I have gotten very good at masking feelings of sorrow, anger, being over-whelmed, etc with food. But it takes that split-second between the thought and the action to change things from grabbing for food or finding another solution.
Taking a walk, calling a friend or working on any knitting, sewing or cleaning project is better.

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

Motivation for daily EXERCISE is my CHOICE!
Focus on accepting and believing this!


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,139
12/4/16 1:40 P

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emoticon I am joyful and inspired by every post and all the progress made here! I so agree, Skirunner, rereading and pondering these lessons does make a difference. Each time through they become more a part of my thinking processes and my actions. More and more, when life gets in the way, I turn to alternatives other than food as my consolation prize.

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
12/4/16 7:02 A

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Day 55, 100 days Food is the consolation prize

Food is Not the consolation Prize- but sometimes I let it get the better of me. For the most part I don't let it be.

I am still working on finding other things that will satisfy me instead of food.
Yesterday we decorated. Now I need to get some more ornaments as I left some over at my mothers.

Lonely bored thinking I deserved it are all reasons I have eaten.

Things I want to do instead are Exercise, call a friend, go for a walk just because. build a snowman. I do need to get rest of house organized too.

Leslie Knudson
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DJBTOO's Photo DJBTOO Posts: 3,158
12/3/16 6:07 P

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I used to use food as a consolation prize, now I'm different!

From my previous post earlier this year ...
"For me, food WAS the consolation prize ... for decades and decades. Linda's book, Spark, my Spark friends have been helping to change that.

The other part of my life that is helping with all 'this' as well is my spiritual practice/study ... learning to recognize and deal with all the various ways of 'wanting life to be different' and learning to experience those feelings/emotions more calmly, peacefully and even finding joy with 'life as is' has been a great source of help and comfort for me.

I am feeling I should turn to this source more often than not ... certainly over FOOD!"

Today I am happy to say my previous post still applies ... however NOW I turn to my spiritual practice as the 'norm' ... it's not a prize ... but a gift! It is the source for what no food, person or diversion can possibly give me.


dj ~ Big Island Hawaii
Whole-foods, Plant-based, No Sugar/Flour/Snacks, Moderate Exercise, Spiritually Focused/Supported - that's the plan!

"...casting all your cares on Him, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to Wisdom." ~ Buddha
"When diet is wrong medicine is of no use, when diet is correct medicine is of no need." ~Ayurvedic Proverb


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FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
12/3/16 4:11 P

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Day 55 Food WAS the consolation prize

I used to be that way, but now I am different.

I used to rely on an entire box of Little Debbies, an entire container of Lofthouse cookies, a king size Symphony bar with a bottle of Mountain Dew to get me through the tough days of caregiving and/or working 60+ hours a week.

Now I have Tom and can rely on a nice strong hug when needed. I have our passion for the outdoors and enjoying nature together. I have a new sewing machine and can steel myself away for a few minutes for some thread therapy.

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CHANGEPOWER's Photo CHANGEPOWER Posts: 4,969
12/3/16 2:19 P

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Day 55: Food is the consolation prize.

Yes, food was everywhere. Every celebration. Given to me to “help me feel better”, and it was there when would want to relax after a stressful day.

When I give in and have the consolation prize I always feel worse afterwards. Remembering that has helped stop the cycle.

Today is my daughter's birthday. I will eat when I want to eat, not as a prize!

What do I actually want? I just want to have “me” time with a good book, or have nothing that I have to do. Food will not give me that.

In the past I mentioned that I like to eat at gatherings so I do not feel as socially awkward. Now I hold a glass of water in my hand (or sometimes wine).

Food is not my consolation prize.


C

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TWEETYX2's Photo TWEETYX2 Posts: 2,071
12/3/16 12:55 P

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At one time, food WAS the consolation prize but I have since seen the importance even it may seem exaggerated at times to others (not as much to me) for me to find and substitute food with something else.

This past year I had wanted to make 100 consecutive days of tracking my food, drink and activity here on SP. I thought about what I would to commemorate that 100th day. I bought myself a beautiful ruby (my birthstone) and diamond ring. I do not wear a lot of jewelry at one time but I did want something that would not compete with my wedding ring set and yet have significant meaning to me. [P.S. I am now on Day 336 consecutive days...]

I learned to take care of myself when I felt no one could or would step up that 'challenge'. I hate to admit that I swung the opposite direction of being really needy to being very aloof and independent. I try not to show my needy side more although it is a work in progress. Food did fit the bill because it never talked back and never said "no" and it certainly didn't reject me.

Fast forward, I still use things to console me but I those things are having less and less of a grip on me. I think I am feeling more secure with myself for one thing and I also realize that these inanimate objects do not replace people and the human 'touch'. Now, I am back to square one. How do I admit to another person that I need them without fear of rejection? I have found the best way is to make them feel needed. Kind of weird huh? I remember in a group discussion last spring about what is the one thing we were created for by God and the consensus was 'to be loved'. After all what else is more important than that?

The only ones who can fit that bill are other people or if you believe in a spiritual being, God. Until then we will turn to anything but to fill that need.

We all remember having our favorite teddy bear and/or blanket when we were little. Then, somewhere along the way we felt we couldn't get our emotional needs met any other way so we turned to food. Now, we need to go backward to go forward. We can do this.

Edited by: TWEETYX2 at: 12/3/2016 (12:57)
TweetyX2 (Pam B.)
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A Look Back: January 4, 2017: 265.4 lbs.
January 1st, 2018: 231.6 lbs.
Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

This is not a race to the finish but a journey to the end.















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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,195
12/3/16 11:58 A

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Oh Yes! Food is/has been the consolation prize so many times....when I'm tired, disappointed, hurt, lonely....food is/was always there. Fortunately I have learned the truth that turning to food at those times almost always will mean more negative emotions.

I used to eat unwisely when I allowed emotions make me reach for food but now, even if I reach for food, I make sure it is something healthy. That makes me feel more positive too.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,065
12/3/16 7:55 A

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Day #55 Food is the Consolation Prize
I do know that when I take the time to decide what I really "need" it is most likely anything but food!
I still need to be conscious of the times, if I do turn to food, that it is a "choice" I am making in that moment. Staying conscious of that fact makes it easier to do something else instead.
emoticon

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

Motivation for daily EXERCISE is my CHOICE!
Focus on accepting and believing this!


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,929
12/2/16 5:00 P

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Edited by: AURA18 at: 4/26/2017 (21:59)
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Three months and a bit later, this is no longer a problem for me. Reading and pondering these lessons really does work!



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7/26/16 5:38 P

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This is another hard one for me because food literally was described as a consolation prize in my childhood: "We can't buy you x or y or z----, but we do feed you well," except that then was muddied. Oh well.

Edited by: SKIRUNNER1 at: 7/26/2016 (17:38)

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CHANGEPOWER's Photo CHANGEPOWER Posts: 4,969
7/26/16 9:35 A

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DJ: Thank you for your kind words. emoticon

Linda: I used to buy foods for my kids and my husband... but deep down I knew they were for me. Now if my husband or I bring something into the house that was not planned we say we are sabotaging each other... all in fun though. We work together as a team as much as possible.
emoticon
He does not follow "No S" but eats a healthy diet full of fruit, veggies and low salt.


Maria: Enjoy your naps! emoticon

C

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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,139
7/25/16 10:06 P

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emoticon and emoticon everyone!

Instead of using food as the consolation prize like I did in the past, I find myself asking, "What do I really want or need?" I keep leaning towards more non food solutions to Linda's question. One of my favorites was recently discussed. It's taking what I call a 'delicious nap'. emoticon




Edited by: GOCALGAL at: 7/25/2016 (22:15)
Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
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But ourselves." unknown

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JUSTME9898's Photo JUSTME9898 Posts: 3,374
7/25/16 3:12 P

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My family did not use food to reward or as a consolation prize. The only times food was a special treat was on the holidays and then the focus was more on company than on the food.
My husband's family did and every time I started to lose weight my husband used to go out and buy my favorite dessert to "reward" and that was usually the end of that.
I learned to use over eating as a drug to numb my feelings. It was not a reward it was a retreat.

Edited by: JUSTME9898 at: 7/25/2016 (15:15)
goal is to be able to walk again
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7/25/16 2:19 P

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Chele - thinking of you today and sending good thoughts, prayers, intentions and (((hugs))) your way. I, too, am so impressed with your thought process and planning for how you are handling the day - pre and post appointment! Good job!

Loved Linda's blog today and really liked her sharing their personal approaches and choices in facing their challenges.

Maribeth - LOVED your traffic light! I'm thinking in the future when my emotions are in a traffic 'jam' I'll picture this sign in my mind!!!! and proceed appropriately!

Pam - love your way with wording! WhooHoo - only with frosting! LOL!!!!!!

For me, food WAS the consolation prize ... for decades and decades. Linda's book, Spark, my Spark friends have been helping to change that.

The other part of my life that is helping with all 'this' as well is my spiritual practice/study ... learning to recognize and deal with all the various ways of 'wanting life to be different' and learning to experience those feelings/emotions more calmly, peacefully and even finding joy with 'life as is' has been a great source of help and comfort for me.

I am feeling I should turn to this source more often than not ... certainly over FOOD!


dj ~ Big Island Hawaii
Whole-foods, Plant-based, No Sugar/Flour/Snacks, Moderate Exercise, Spiritually Focused/Supported - that's the plan!

"...casting all your cares on Him, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to Wisdom." ~ Buddha
"When diet is wrong medicine is of no use, when diet is correct medicine is of no need." ~Ayurvedic Proverb


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,019
7/25/16 12:32 P

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Good luck with that appointment, Chele - and well done with your revised plan to look after yourself after the appointment.

I had a great opportunity to test out this Lesson today: I'd been performing with a band this morning, at a cultural event, and afterwards everyone (?) was meeting at the pub for lunch. I had misunderstood and expected the lunch to be provided for us, but it wasn't - it had to be paid for. I didn't have money to spend on lunch out, so I set off home.

I could have turned to food as the consolation prize - definitely! But I went and bought myself a coffee at the beach-cafe, then sat in the sun relaxing for 15 mins before going home to make myself a sandwich (which I eventually ate at 3.30pm - on my sun-lounger with a nice cuppa!)

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,065
7/25/16 9:42 A

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Maribeth, love the stop sign. emoticon

Day #55 Food is the Consolation Prize
Even though I have been much better since facing some of my food issues, I will admit that last week as I was shopping and needed to return something (which I literally hate to do) that I did eat first and went to a place I have avoided for a long time because of few healthy choices to please my friend. Classic consolation food prize!

The only thing I know is that awareness makes those choices very few but I still need to be conscious of them because when I added the meal to my tracker it was not healthy eating in any form.


Edited by: MAWMAW101 at: 7/25/2016 (09:42)
Phyllis ~~
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Motivation for daily EXERCISE is my CHOICE!
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CHANGEPOWER's Photo CHANGEPOWER Posts: 4,969
7/25/16 8:15 A

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Yep Gill, I am guilty of rewarding my kids with food. Food is not a focal point for them (thank goodness), but every now and then I buy snacks they did not request as a reward. Luckily they eat pretty healthy. I have gotten better and now only purchase what is on the list.

Leslie: I can relate to the scale not showing the results we want. I am so glad I read FWTS. It has helped me a lot with that. I used to "punish" myself with food too, thinking it was a comfort. That is great that you are using your journal every day! emoticon


Day 55: Food is the consolation prize.

Yes, food us everywhere. In the past and in the present it is at every celebration. It is given to me to “help me feel better”, and it is there when I want to relax after a stressful day.

When I give in and have the consolation prize of food, I always feel worse afterwards. Remembering that has helped stop the cycle. I did not eat over this weekend. I pushed aside the feeling that “I deserved” to eat the sugary foods.

What do I actually want? I just want to have “me” time with a good book, or have nothing that I have to do. Food will not give me that.

In the past I mentioned that I like to eat at gatherings so I do not feel as socially awkward. Now I hold a glass of water in my hand.

I am feeling heart hunger as I wait for my doctor appointment scheduled for later today. But I will NOT use food as a consolation prize! I even told my self yesterday that afterwards I can have some ice cream! Nope. Not needed. I have my family for support. Ice cream will not make me feel better. When I get home I will sit with a nice cup of black coffee and read my book or go downstairs and practice my bass. Food will not be my consolation prize. emoticon

emoticon


C

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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
7/25/16 6:49 A

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Look 55 days gone.
Day 55, 100 days Food is the consolation prize

NOT!


Yes as a child I was given a cookie for a skinned knee and did the same with my kids. Gave them birthday cakes it got richer each year like ice cream cakes. so I gave the problem of being overweight early on too. But Some of the emotional eating comes from learned someone is the stress itself.

I will have to make an instead list. so far I haven't turn to food but what if? so my instead list I will think on and include in a blog or one of the days lessons.

Does the food meat my needs. overall No. it may have for a while like a few minutes.

It isn't easy to turn food to NOT be the consolation prize. It sometimes takes time. it is a one day at a time. but working this book sure help me not to turn to food. whether I am lonely, bored. Yes we all want to be loved, appreciated comforted . A hug or pat on the back works wonders. We don't need food to make up for those emotions we are really looking for.

Even with weight loss (dieting) when I did not get results I wanted or had a bad day I would it is ruined might well enjoy the rest of day so I would consume thousands of calories I believe. It never satisfied me. Now I know It wont. Since beginning my lifestyle change I have not strayed far. and mostly was eating out and not figuring the exchange values. but I guessed. I have journaled every day.

I don't NOT make food a consolation prize!!!!!!

Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
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TWEETYX2's Photo TWEETYX2 Posts: 2,071
7/25/16 6:18 A

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First of all Food is NOT a consolation prize but it took me a long time to realize that. If something in life disappointed me well there was always food. If I felt so excited about something that I could burst at the seams well food was the consolation prize---like a emoticon only with frosting.

As I am reexamining my relationship with food I noticed that as long as I use food as a shield, prop, buffer...etc. I avoid taking a clear-eyed look at what is happening in my life and how I can 'fix it' (if I can). So, food (the emotional eating) was like wearing sunglasses in a darkened room. Very ineffective.

It is interesting that the less I practice emotional eating the more I face in the rest of my life.

Now what the consolation prize is living without the extra food, surviving whatever I thought that I couldn't survive and being more at peace as a result.

Pam

TweetyX2 (Pam B.)
Time Zone: EST
Atlanta, Georgia [USA]

A Look Back: January 4, 2017: 265.4 lbs.
January 1st, 2018: 231.6 lbs.
Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

This is not a race to the finish but a journey to the end.















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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,929
7/25/16 5:09 A

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emoticon

Edited by: AURA18 at: 12/29/2018 (07:21)
Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,019
7/25/16 2:13 A

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Well! As well as any early conditioning to turn to food for comfort after a hurt or disappointment - we are bombarded at every turn by food manufacturers telling us that their food will solve all our problems! Ha! It's tough! We need to stand together on this one!

I also find I have to stop myself trying to make other people feel better with food! Oh yes, the habit runs very deep!

Amazingly, Linda Spangle has blogged about just this topic today - pop over and read her blog if you have time - keep going until you get to the second part where she shares how she and her husband have found a new way to cope with things.

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=6205902


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
ITZ_SUE's Photo ITZ_SUE Posts: 2,170
6/11/16 2:55 P

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Day 55 - Food is the consolation prize

I was brought up that food was a solution to everything .. it is a very hard habit to break, but recognizing it .. and hearing it in this book does make me feel stronger. I am working at stopping to think of food as my enemy (in our love/hate relationship), and just using it as fuel to by healthy. Today ... when the urge it me to just eat .. I stopped and thought about it, and discovered that I was NOT hungry, and did not need fuel .. so I went on to do something else that I enjoy (crocheting on my outdoor swing). It worked!

Sue

The will of God will not take you where the grace of God will not protect you.


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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 14,859
2/26/16 8:09 A

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See my post of Day 56. but I will add that as feeling physically peppy and feeling that I am feeding myself as continued foundation for a clear-headed old age, what I eat at my meals is influenced less by food's other roles. Knowing what role it was playing didn't often lead to my refusing it. I still ate it. Now, I really want the advantage to my blood, my organs, my brain from eating smarter- MOST of the time.

Six years of maintaining a 20% weightloss and counting.
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats.
8 years and counting! nosdiet.com/
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN SparkPoints: (174,341)
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2/24/16 11:21 A

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I am retired now ... but I worked a job that I dearly loved but was not loved by my boss. Every single day was stress, demoralizing and confrontational.

When I came home each day ... food was my consolation prize. I gained 70 pounds working with this boss.

I was in a car accident my senior year of high school ... ya know just recently : ) I came out of a moving vehicle and landed on my knees. Through the years they caused me a great deal of pain but I was not "old" enough for knee replacements until 3 years ago.

When I came home from work each day ... food was my consolation prize.

I used food to recharge, unwind and get through life. I gained 50+ pounds sitting on the couch.

I have lost and gained a kajillion pounds using food as my consolation prize. Now I am going after the real prize ... good health, long life and feeling empowered.


Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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GOTTALUVPINK's Photo GOTTALUVPINK Posts: 613
2/24/16 10:45 A

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Day 55... Food is the consolation prize

I have a long history as an emotional eater.... since a very young age when my parents argued on a daily basis. I use food as my 'prize' for everything! As I have gotten older, I think it's become more of stress reliever than a prize. I have always struggled financially and food has always been there for me during difficult times. I have yet to find an alternate activity to take my mind off paying the bills.

I think I 'over' stress about everything, so that is my goal.... to just calm down!


opps.... sorry that got so big!!

Edited by: GOTTALUVPINK at: 2/24/2016 (10:46)
Jodie


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FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
2/24/16 8:18 A

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Food was my consolation prize on many occasions in the past. I am working on using exercise or meditation during those down times instead of immediately reaching for food.

Also working on my self image/self esteem. I need to see myself as I wish to be, in order to get there, if that makes sense.

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,019
2/24/16 7:03 A

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emoticon Phyllis - I am always aware of what's coming up for my next food-stop! Oh well, at least it's better than not knowing what's coming up - then just grabbing something! What fun it would be to open my lunch-box at work and get a surprise because I'd forgotten what I'd packed!
emoticon

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,065
2/24/16 6:46 A

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Thanks Gill for the link, I plan to look it up.
Sunny, I'm glad your here.
emoticon

The more times I pay attention to the emotional connections between what I really need and what I do are frustrating to say the least. I now see the connection of how my brain is programmed to do what I've always done while I keep planning and planning to change. For me it has been the idea of slowing down and thinking about why I want to eat.
I would love to just forget about food until I need a meal for fuel, eat that meal and then forget about food until the next meal!
It's not reality yet, but I'm working on it!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

Motivation for daily EXERCISE is my CHOICE!
Focus on accepting and believing this!


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,019
2/24/16 2:44 A

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emoticon Sunny! Yes, it can get a bit lonesome being the first up every morning, can't it? I'm glad you were able to take the time to go back and read the comments. The things people have shared on these threads are awesome and, as you said, greatly encouraging.

Day 55 - This is one of the Days that I put a 'star' on the first time round - and it's still a very important Day for me, because it gets to the absolute crux of the matter: Linda writes "If you always reach for food.... when you don't like how you feel, you eventually CREATE A LINK between food and your emotional needs/"

Another Spark Friend sent me a link the other day, to a psychology article about how we create links in our brain. This is a fairly long read, and won't interest everyone - but if you DO click through to it, about one screen down there is a photo of brain cells 'firing' - the more you DO or THINK something, the more likely you are to do it again. Something physically happens in your brain every time you, say, put on the kettle for a herb tea when you feel angry. It means that next time someone upsets you, you're more likely to make a cup of herb tea than reach for something to eat.

www.curiousapes.com/the-science-of-h
ap
piness-why-complaining-is-literally-R>killing-you/


Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 2/24/2016 (02:54)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
ITSASUNNYDAY's Photo ITSASUNNYDAY SparkPoints: (16,516)
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2/23/16 11:36 P

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Because I live in Africa I'm many time zones ahead of you all and am usually the first one to post for each day. I had been making a point of going back and reading people's post from the day before but lately I've been slacking at doing that. This morning I went back and read your posts and came away encouraged. Keep up the good work ladies! You are a great encouragement to me.

Food is the Consolation Prize:
I am an emotional eater, although I've been doing better at recognizing triggers and filling my needs with things other than food. It still sneaks up on me though and sometimes seems like a full frontal assault. Becoming healthier is not just happening on the outside, it's also happening on the inside and will take time. I am happy with the choices I've made today and I'm taking it one step at a time.

Sunny, East Africa

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."


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GREBJACK's Photo GREBJACK Posts: 8,480
2/8/16 7:08 P

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I dunno how to respond to these days about emotional eating. I sometimes eat when I'm bored, but I don't eat when I'm sad or lonely or whatever. Part of me wishes food DID make me feel better when I'm lonely. I think I'd like being overweight more than I like being lonely.

Rebecca

He drew a circle that shut me out--
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!
-Edwin Markham

www.fitbit.com/user/24NZF7
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OHIOMOM's Photo OHIOMOM SparkPoints: (0)
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9/27/15 10:48 A

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Thank you, my then boy friend, since husband had a lot of work to convince me I was not ugly, but he did. Still her words hurt and then of course her actions later. The truth is all she did in the past should not matter and it is all in the past, but some of her words are harder than others to unlearn. That is all part of the process, and I am sure all part of the overeating.


Dot
Goal: To do better today.


Treasure the past, live in the present and believe in the future.


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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,542
9/27/15 1:54 A

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Oh Dot its true you are beautiful, you have lovely eyes x

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
IAMBLESSED103's Photo IAMBLESSED103 Posts: 16,494
9/27/15 12:30 A

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Dot, I'm so sorry you went through that... I love that picture of you below - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! emoticon emoticon

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OHIOMOM's Photo OHIOMOM SparkPoints: (0)
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9/26/15 9:29 P

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Well, that was quite a few years ago, about 42, but it took a lot for me back then to say, I am not ugly, after all those years of listening to my mother. Will never understand why she did what she did, sure can mess with your mind tho. The reason for no pictures now has more to do with the wigs, it just is not easy with the wigs.

Dot
Goal: To do better today.


Treasure the past, live in the present and believe in the future.


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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,280
9/26/15 4:47 P

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Dot, I saw your pic on your page!

emoticon YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!


I was the same way with pictures. Never allowed them until a few years ago.
Couldn't stand to look at myself...then I found Spark People!

Edited by: CAT125 at: 9/26/2015 (16:52)
Cat, in Florida
Eastern Time Zone


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OHIOMOM's Photo OHIOMOM SparkPoints: (0)
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9/26/15 3:56 P

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I have said many times It was my faith and Christian upbringing that got in my way of just putting my mother and her hateful ways behind me because it was the 5th Commandment that kept me trying to Honor my Mother and Father. She kept hurting me even after I got married and I kept trying to be the Dutiful Daughter. It is NOT that I blame God, it is just I took what I was taught to heart. So even after all the hurt of being her daughter as a child and all the stuff she kept doing in underhanded ways to me as an adult I kept trying. For me, the final straw became when SHE stopped talking to me after my husband died, at time when I needed her to be a mother to me and she stopped talking to me and when I had enough of trying and I told my brother I had enough two of three brothers stopped talking to me too. So there I was hurting the most I had ever hurt in my entire life and I was alone. But God reached out to me, I was driving and had accidentally gotten off the wrong exit, and there was a huge billboard, on the billboard was the 9th Commandment, thou shalt not bear false witness........ This was significant to ME only because that was the basic for the hurts as a child that was the most consistent thing my mother had done, she lied to my dad when he got home from work so he would take out his belt and give me a whipping. It was not bad enough she would lie and tell me I was ugly, and that NO ONE would ever love me and how all the things in my life that I wanted to do when I was growing up how I should not even try because I would fail, no she lied to dad so I would be whipped. There it was a billboard telling me, GO talk you your pastor, and my pastor told me God would not want to see me continue to be hurt, it is OK to stop. I did not have to keep trying to Honor my mother. Suddenly I knew he was right. I never tried to talk to her again. I let it go. I am OK with that. When she died, I asked God to forgive her for all she had done. I know he did because I asked. As for me getting her ugly words out of my head, well that is a bit harder to do.

Just so you have a little reference, this is my High School picture, other than this I have not allowed my picture to be taken since my wedding pictures, a lot because she is still in there telling me how ugly I am and on the few occasions when someone has taken my picture and I get my hands on it, I see ugly and tear it up and throw it away.



Dot
Goal: To do better today.


Treasure the past, live in the present and believe in the future.


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