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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,679
11/24/19 9:35 A

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DAY # 78 DITCH THE CRITIC

In today's lesson we learn that punishing yourself doesn't usually cause you to change your behavior. Instead your brain hears your negative, chastising thoughts, and then it attempts to make them true.

I have read this in several different resources and I believe it is very true. Our brains are powerful tools and changing our thoughts can change our lives! It has worked for me. Here is what I wrote in my last review over a year ago:

"I also can have a VERY loud inner critic. I think this might go hand in hand with my overall pessimistic tendencies and complaining. My inner critic can also be an outer critic. I don't like this about myself and so I recently set a goal for myself to develop a more positive attitude and to ditch the negative talk by replacing it with a positive statement every time I catch myself complaining."

I am now more of an optimistic person and able to better look at the "bright side" of a situation. I recently set a goal to make a daily entry in my journal about the "good" eating and fitness days as a way to reward my positive thoughts. Any time I had a "bad" day I would not make an entry. Interestingly, more and more "bad" days started to creep in. So even though I patted myself on the back for healthy eating behaviors, this technique did nothing for me as a source of motivation. Just saying "I did good in my eating and fitness today" wasn't powerful enough for me when I faced a challenging situation.

So along with ditching the inner critic I also decided to go back to logging each day's challenge and coming up with an action plan to motivate me because -

I am a valuable person and worth it!

Edited by: FUNLOVEN at: 11/24/2019 (09:44)
Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,611
11/21/19 8:36 A

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Day #78 Ditch the Critic

Most of my criticism of myself was based on what others thought. I was worried about their reactions.
Maybe it’s age, being retired or just finally focusing on what I want and what I care about that my self-criticism is not as much of a problem for me.



Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,430
11/21/19 2:35 A

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Day 78 - Ditch the Critic

Good timing. On the weekend, I went to a community event. It was the 70th birthday celebration of our (former and now retired) veterinarian, a woman who broke barriers for women veterinarians in large animal practices. There were many stories about how the farmers were initially rude and brutally skeptical and later fiercely loyal fans of her skills. She is a person who is very fun loving and generous and one of the people, not a lofty professional, very well loved, the whole community turned up. I am introverted and saw a lot of people I hadn't seen for a long time, and got a bit giddy talking to some, not all of whom I really get along with that well, as I was a bit of an outsider among them and didn't really feel accepted by a lot of my childhood peers. The next day I was thinking about the socially unskillful things I had said and was feeling kind of not so smart, in fact rather foolish. I looked at myself in the mirror and said repeatedly stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid,(about 15 minutes before reading Day 78) because that was how I felt. Really. Why do I have to criticize myself, beat myself up? I'm not socially graceful, so what. I am still fearfully and wonderfully made, as are all my fellow human beings. My self-esteem was in the dumps. I'm not perfect, I usually do my best, I can't do better than that. I didn't say anything malicious or hurtful. Just some gaffe-style things. So, ditch the critic already.


Edited by: JUNEPA at: 12/22/2019 (23:16)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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NOCALORIES's Photo NOCALORIES Posts: 20,818
11/21/19 12:44 A

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Gratitude is riches complaint is poverty. I daily strive to be grateful that I am alive and looking for the blessing that are mine. Life is a challenge, but finding reasons to be grateful helps me not be so critical on myself.

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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,893
11/20/19 10:47 A

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This was hard for me. I used to be so hard on myself - my own worst enemy. But now I work on what I've done right. What I'm doing right. What I will do right. How wonderful I am!!

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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THETROUT's Photo THETROUT Posts: 1,901
11/20/19 7:58 A

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This team and Linda's book have helped me on this. Any of my deficiencies are minor compared to my strengths.

Janet in Georgia

Just using SP suggested calorie/protein/carb range

Perfection is not the Goal; Slow and Steady wins the race


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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,706
1/24/19 9:48 A

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Day 78, 100 days Ditch the Critic

An interesting article Gill, thanks for sharing it.

I think with Ditch the Critic we need to tell ourselves "Come on your're truly capable or anything" regardless of what I have eaten or done I am still a worthwhile and valuable person and I count in this world. I still like the line "I was made by God, one of his miracles and god doesn't make mistakes".. emoticon emoticon

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,272
1/22/19 8:11 A

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Wow! I just read this powerful blog about the destructive cycle of self destruction! I think it applies really well to Day 78, so sharing the link here.
stephenguise.com/the-hidden-
cause-of-d
ownward-spirals/


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,893
1/21/19 10:48 A

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Seems like several of us are with Gill. This is a hard lesson. We shouldn't be so hard on ourselves, but many of us are. I'm my own worst enemy quite often. But I've been working hard to put the focus on ME. I've convinced myself that it really is OK to think of myself first - I'm a grandma - not the mom! I'm single. Why not put the focus on me? I'm worth it. But why do I feel the need to justify it?

Oh, boy, do I need a lot of work! This is truly a difficult lesson.

I'm thankful for my friends here. emoticon

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
1/21/19 9:19 A

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emoticon emoticon Right Back emoticon

Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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1/21/19 5:42 A

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Maribeth, sorry you had to go through that. emoticon

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

New Group: Diabetic and Pre-Diabetic Weight Watchers (MyWW) Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
idual.asp?gid=71537


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
1/16/19 11:33 A

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Linda's blog u.nu/ht8e
Day 78 Ditch the Critic & move forward faster... by sticking with 100 DWL, Sparks & supportive friends. In the past when criticized...I had a long period of self-doubt. For example, WW (Feb. - April '16 & summer '17) one leader said that I didn't eat enough calories (points). Explained hypothyroidism & slow metabolism emoticon I do not have to defend myself to anyone. WW meetings were great, smiling faces sharing experiences e.g., "It all starts at the grocery store and home cooking!" I can't let one person get me down. I am finding long term health management Here! emoticon works, available 24/7
emoticon Pause* Breath* ResistToday* *StrongerTomorrow*

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/21/2019 (09:19)
Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,679
6/7/18 9:57 P

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I also can have a VERY loud inner critic. I think this might go hand in hand with my overall pessimistic tendencies and complaining. My inner critic can also be an outer critic. I don't like this about myself and so I recently set a goal for myself to develop a more positive attitude and to ditch the negative talk by replacing it with a positive statement every time I catch myself complaining.

WW also coincides with Linda's theory: THINK - FEEL - DO

Let's make it POSITIVE!





Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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CAROLYNINJOY1's Photo CAROLYNINJOY1 Posts: 12,173
5/30/18 9:28 A

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100 Days Challenge, Day 78 Punishment is NOT motivating.

Assignment for today:

1. In the space below or on a separate piece of paper, write down: No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person.

No matter what you say or do, I am at peace with myself. That works for me.

2. Then underline or highlight the words so they really hit home. Write a few notes about how you plan to use this in your life.

I am at peace with myself. That is something that gives me a tremendous amount of comfort, for each time I use the expression, my mind, body and spirit relax.

3. Say this to yourself at least a dozen or more times today. Anytime you hear negative things from other people as well as from yourself, repeat this phrase again. Describe how you used this concept.

I'm doing this now and it has enhanced my peace of mind. It feels awesome. Now to work on saying it when I have negative thoughts. I've been working several months on removing negativity but the old self-talk tapes are pervasive and EVASIVE. In one sense, they're like unwanted weeds that keep popping up in my mind. I will overcome with practice.

Joy is a Choice. Choose joy moment by moment.

When all else fails, persistence prevails.

Injoy:) Carolyn

(Arizona - Mountain Standard Time)

My personal story as a blog:
https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,272
5/23/18 3:47 A

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emoticon
hugs for everyone - thanks for sharing.

Thank you for reminding me about Louise Hay, Gloria - I have a few of her books.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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5/22/18 4:29 A

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Thank you SkiRunner!

I promised myself that stress will not lead to unplanned eating.

We are worth taking care of ourselves.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

New Group: Diabetic and Pre-Diabetic Weight Watchers (MyWW) Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
idual.asp?gid=71537


EST


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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,309
5/21/18 7:46 P

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I am a worthwhile person.

I am eliminating the word still, because that says, “even though” I overate, didn’t handle stress well, etc, I am still...

I’m not exactly sure why that’s important to me, but it is.
I overate. I am a worthwhile person.
I got angry at someone who didn’t deserve it. I am a worthwhile person.
I am mad at myself. I am a worthwhile person.

I’m so sorry about your doggie, C. But, wow, are you doing well with your weight and readings! Kudos to you.



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5/21/18 3:53 P

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Ditch the critic:

Tough one for me. I can only do it when I focus on doing it. I am VERY tough on myself.

I got rid of tracking spark streaks and points because I was very upset with myself when I messed up or for some reason could not log in for a day.

WW has a blue dot system. I wish I could get rid of it. I am hyper focusing on the blue dot. I feel that if I do not get it I failed that day.

I love the example of talking to myself as if I am a small child. Food does not determine who I am.

No matter what my mind says, I am still a worthwhile person!
No matter what I choose to eat, I am a worthwhile person!
I am a worthwhile person!

I am stressed. My 8 year old dog has arthritis in his front right leg and has started limping on and off. Made an appointment for x-rays Friday. I am NOT sneak eating.

I have lost 8 lbs since 4/8. 5 lbs since starting WW on 5/6. My glucose was 93 this morning. So my readings have made my mind happy.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

New Group: Diabetic and Pre-Diabetic Weight Watchers (MyWW) Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
idual.asp?gid=71537


EST


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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN SparkPoints: (175,307)
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5/21/18 11:24 A

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My thoughts are alllll over the place on this lesson this time. I am a deserving person and deserve the best treatment … to include from myself to myself.

I adopted the Beck attitude … Oh, well not my food. This is to take the focus off foods I have chosen Not to eat coz they don't get me towards my health goals.

Not … Oh, well I didn't follow my plans to reach my goals … so that's OK.

Where is the fine line. I don't know.

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,326
5/21/18 7:10 A

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When I start to get discouraged, I read my Louise Hay books......she puts my thinking on the right track.

One day at a time!


Gloria.
EST Pennsylvania
2017 Spring 5% Challenge Tiger Monarchs
Biggest Loser Summer Challenge Golden Phoenix
Biggest Loser Fall Challenge Golden Phoenix 2017


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
5/21/18 6:40 A

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"I am still a worthwhile person, no matter what!"

I too need to be reminded of that at times when the scale is moving upward or I feel the urge to binge.

MINDFUL-C's Photo MINDFUL-C SparkPoints: (194,252)
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5/21/18 4:33 A

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Ditch the critic:

Tough one for me. I can only do it when I focus on doing it. I am VERY tough on myself.

I got rid of tracking spark streaks and points because I was very upset with myself when I messed up or for some reason could not log in for a day.

WW has a blue dot system. I wish I could get rid of it. I am hyper focusing on the blue dot. I feel that if I do not get it I failed that day.

I love the example of talking to myself as if I am a small child. Food does not determine who I am.

No matter what my mind says, I am still a worthwhile person!
No matter what I choose to eat, I am a worthwhile person!
I am a worthwhile person!

I am stressed. My 8 year old dog has arthritis in his front right leg and has started limping on and off.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

New Group: Diabetic and Pre-Diabetic Weight Watchers (MyWW) Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
idual.asp?gid=71537


EST


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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,706
1/25/18 9:59 A

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Day 78, 100 days Ditch the Critic

We all have negative thoughts some times but it is a good idea to NOT dwell on them or let them ruin our days! Remember You are still a valuable person and Worthwhile whatever you ate or did!

I still like the line "I was made by God, one of his miracles and god doesn't make mistakes!"


Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,272
1/23/18 3:05 A

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Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,155
1/22/18 7:41 P

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Day 78 - Ditch the Critic

I'll have to admit that I'm my own biggest critic. And that I feel much of it is deserved. Sometimes just saying "I'm a worthwhile person" seems like those ubiquitous trophy awards given out to everyone on the team (when my boys were young) to help their self-esteem...and now we have bins of them in our attic. emoticon So....this is a good lesson for me to work on.

I AM a good, worthwhile person, and everyone makes mistakes.

I agree with Cheri's post wholeheartedly:
"Negative self talk needs to go, but I still think you have to be honest with yourself. We need to admit when we mess up, but not make it a matter of devaluing who we are. We need to forgive ourselves and move on. Discipline is not a bad thing when it is done in love. We need to correct mistakes but also love ourselves and others."

Paula -- Waco, TX area
CST zone

SP 4 Cornerstones
www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,325
1/22/18 4:50 P

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Wrote at length on this in 2015. I'm keeping faith with myself.

Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

Delighted to be a 'Determined Daisy'.
'Defeat is a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.'



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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,893
1/22/18 1:30 P

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Quite often I'm my biggest critic. Working on this and I'm improving.

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,354
1/22/18 8:01 A

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Day 78, Ditch the Critic

This is the day I needed to start this week. I had such great plans for last week and met....some of them. I did exercise every day. I did a pretty good job of tracking my food.....but I hate looking at the lists of food that I had to track. "Self Control, Wanda!!! Get back on the bus!" Well, yes, that is the critic talking but I need a little criticism today because the scale is up and I am not wondering why.

I have long since ditched the other critics in my life. I do a pretty good job of marching to my own drum, loving myself, and listening to myself so it behooves me this morning to criticize myself lovingly and firmly and to get on the path this week to lose last week's gain.

This day does not say that I cannot be my own critic....lovingly. Actually I need that but I do not need the criticism of others.

Phyllis, I love this....."The truth is that you are still waiting for someone else to let you know you are perfect just as you are. Stop waiting......just be perfect!
The truth is that nobody else can do that for you, only you can do it."

Thanks for that encouragement and I will continue to be perfectly me....the best me I can be.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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CGH-ARTYPANTS's Photo CGH-ARTYPANTS Posts: 1,307
1/22/18 6:28 A

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Negative self talk needs to go, but I still think you have to be honest with yourself. We need to admit when we mess up, but not make it a matter of devaluing who we are. We need to forgive ourselves and move on. Discipline is not a bad thing when it is done in love. We need to correct mistakes but also love ourselves and others.
Whether criticism come from outside or from within, I need to balance it with a good thought...maybe two or three. I am going to practice that.

Cheri from Georgia
Direction - not Intention - determines Destination


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,611
1/22/18 6:26 A

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This is still so true and helped change many things for me— all very good!
(I love this day.....it puts all my days, weeks, months and years in perspective!)

Day #78 Ditch the Critic
The original letter I wrote to myself is still on my computer, it's important for me to go back so I can continue to move forward!

Part of what I wrote back then about myself.........
The truth is that you are still waiting for someone else to let you know you are perfect just as you are. Stop waiting......just be perfect!
The truth is that nobody else can do that for you, only you can do it.
emoticon I've had a lot of adventures since writing that letter to myself. I've really begun to run my own life, my own way and guess what, my family survived all my changes!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
1/22/18 6:20 A

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No matter what challenge life presents I am still a worthwhile person.

AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
9/18/17 6:06 P

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emoticon

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/16/2019 (11:33)
Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,272
9/16/17 2:18 P

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I think I've finally got this one. I love and accept myself so much more easily than I used to. I really notice when other people criticize themselves too! Don't do it!

I saw this the other day - and downloaded for myself. I've got better at not criticizing other people (especially at work!) I keep my mouth shut far more often these days!



Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,611
9/16/17 9:02 A

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(I love this day.....it puts all my days, weeks, months and years in perspective!)

Day #78 Ditch the Critic
The original letter I wrote to myself is still on my computer, it's important for me to go back so I can continue to move forward!

Part of what I wrote back then about myself.........
The truth is that you are still waiting for someone else to let you know you are perfect just as you are. Stop waiting......just be perfect!
The truth is that nobody else can do that for you, only you can do it.
emoticon I've had a lot of adventures since writing that letter to myself. I've really begun to run my own life, my own way and guess what, my family survived all my changes!





Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,679
9/16/17 8:31 A

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One of the biggest things we seem to have in common is our inner critics!

I think it is especially difficult to overcome that little critical voice in our heads when deep down we know what we need to do if we want to reach our goals.

Yesterday I worked my Plan during the day and then last night we went out with friends for dinner and to the Irish Festival taking place in our town. It is so much fun! Irish bands even come for Ireland to perform. It is quite the big deal and the beer flows freely! I watched my calories closely all day and I even looked up the restaurant menu so I could plan my dinner. My beer glass was a little bit bigger than I calculated and when we got home I want a little snack before going to bed, but I chose one of my standard healthy snacks. Overall the picture at the end of the day looked pretty good. Perfect? No. After all we can always do better can't we"! But my choices were REASONALBE for a fun once a year event.

So my focus today is to tame that inner critic. To remind myself that I did well yesterday. To replace every negative thought with a positive one. To remember that last night was a planned outing. To stick to my usual daily Plan today. That inner critic can be the ruin of me and lead to a bout of depression which spirals down the wrong health path and so it is an important demon to conquer!

I will be getting bonus steps in today since I am on dog walking duty and then shopping with a GF emoticon

Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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Day 78 Ditch the Critic

As usual, I am starting the day off on a positive note--writing on my spark teams.

Yet again, I hope I can finish up the day the same way.

chris

I have to be diligent about caring for myself. 100 DAYS OF WEIGHT LOSS is a great way for me to keep focused. Day 1 is July 1, 2017. Build habits to produce success. Most of these habits I have at least tried before but did not sustain. First habit: delay eating by using a timer.
LONG TERM GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight.Evening Eating Sabotage Myself Frustration ..Help! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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emoticon

Edited by: AURA18 at: 9/18/2017 (18:04)
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But I'm so good at criticizing myself! I have higher expectations of myself than anyone else.

I think I need to make "I am worthwhile. I am special." my mantra.

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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In your notebook, write down, "No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person."
Then underline or highlight the words so they really hit home.
Say this to yourself at least a dozen or more times today. Anytime you hear negative things from other people as well as from yourself, repeat this phrase again.
Day 78: Ditch the critic
Do you ever try to motivate yourself by being critical or by using negative self-talk? Unfortunately, punishing yourself doesn't usually cause you to change your behavior. Instead, your brain hears your negative, chastising thoughts, and then it attempts to make them true. In fact, whenever you label yourself with words such as "failure," you usually just drag yourself down further.
It's time for you to ditch the critic inside your head and take the opposite approach. Start telling yourself "Come on, you're truly capable of doing anything!" These positive messages will help you feel a lot more inspired to stay with your goals.
Speak kindly!
The type or amount of food you eat does not determine your self-worth! So remind yourself that even on days when you gobble down a bag of chips or devour a huge piece of cake, you are still a good person.
Pretend for a minute that you're talking with a small child. Now picture yourself sitting on the floor and gently saying, "The fact that you ate candy before dinner or broke your toy doesn't change who you are. You are still a valuable person regardless of what you did."
Start treating yourself with the same level of tenderness and respect as you would that child. If you slip up on your goals, don't beat yourself up for being a "failure." Instead, hold your head up high and tell yourself, "I'm important, I'm valuable, and I count in this world."
I'm still worthwhile!
Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, teaches a great way to change negative self-talk. He encourages workshop participants to respond to "put downs" or negative messages by saying, "No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person!"
Saying this phrase again and again will help you mentally contradict hurtful or cut-down comments that can harm your self-esteem. It will also help you stop the negative messages inside your own head.
During times when you don't finish the work project on time or your spouse yells at you because you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, just pull out the "I'm still a worthwhile person" phrase and repeat it to yourself as many times as necessary. Then live as if it were true-because it is!
I AM A WORTHWHILE PERSON TO ME AND TO OTHERS

Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
ASK ME ABOUT IT
www.tops.org
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5/17/17 7:03 A

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(Love looking back to this day--just re-read that letter!)
Day #78 Ditch the Critic
The original letter I wrote to myself is still on my computer.
I wrote back then about myself.........
The truth is that you are still waiting for someone else to let you know you are ok just as you are. Stop waiting......just be!
emoticon This time I really believed I am ok, lost some weight, had some new adventures and became a happier person!
emoticon Still losing weight (slowly), had some ups, some downs and am very satisfied with the direction I've taken my life in!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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I’m important, I’m valuable, and I count in this world.
No matter what you say, or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person.

What I eat does not determine my self worth!

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

New Group: Diabetic and Pre-Diabetic Weight Watchers (MyWW) Team!
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12/26/16 6:55 P

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Day 78 - Ditch the Critic

In your notebook, write down, "No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person."

~ Then underline or highlight the words so they really hit home.

~ Say this to yourself at least a dozen times today. Anytime you hear negative things from other people as well as yourself, repeat the phrase.

--I think I would modify that one to read


"No matter what LIFE does to me, I am still a worthwhile person"


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12/26/16 11:14 A

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It is really interesting that I would never think about being critical in so many other areas of life except weight loss. So, these past few days about 'notice small wins' and 'ditch the critic' are key in me feeling competent in this area of my life. I have had terrible nagging self-doubts about weight loss but with this day's lesson front row and center I am choosing to take a different path from now on.

I am ready to believe in myself here. I have made great strides. I need to recognize and then acknowledge that. I just read a neat quote in another team: "Happiness is an inside job." I like that.



TweetyX2 (Pam B.)
Time Zone: EST
Atlanta, Georgia [USA]

A Look Back: January 4, 2017: 265.4 lbs.
January 1st, 2018: 231.6 lbs.
Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

This is not a race to the finish but a journey to the end.















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12/26/16 8:50 A

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Day 78 Ditch the critic

For me this goes with the “all or nothing” feeling. Thinking: since I slipped I am not worthy of getting back on track.

Sometimes after an overindulgent “S” weekend I feel like a failure but I get right back on track. I am truly capable of doing anything. There are things that make me feel uncomfortable, but that does not mean I cannot do those things.

What I eat does not determine my self-worth. If I eat a snack or sweet on a non "S" day, I am still a good person.

I like the idea of talking to myself as a child. At work I talk to little ones all day. There is nothing like talking to a Kindergartner on his/her first day of school! I deserve to treat myself with the same respect that I give these children.

I’m important, I’m valuable, and I count in this world.
No matter what you say, or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person.


C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

New Group: Diabetic and Pre-Diabetic Weight Watchers (MyWW) Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
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12/26/16 8:00 A

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Day 78, 100 days Ditch the Critic

Yes I am a worthwhile person! The self talk can hinder you calm you or give you courage to move forward.
Christmas is over if you did not eat sensibly it is time to put it in past and move forward. We are all capable of that.

My calming ritual is coffee sitting in my recliner, maybe reading a letter from a friend. received lots of nice cards over the holiday. so can read all the great people who do care. also received cards for reaching my KOPS. so will sit down and write some of them. I am going back to do the two days I missed. I need to take the time to complete my lessons and working on getting some healthier goals for the new year.

Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
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www.tops.org
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12/25/16 4:05 P

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Day #78 Ditch the Critic
The original letter I wrote to myself is still on my computer.
I wrote back then about myself.........
The truth is that you are still waiting for someone else to let you know you are ok just as you are. Stop waiting......just be!
emoticon This time I really believed I am ok, lost some weight, had some new adventures and became a happier person!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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12/24/16 1:15 P

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Pam~ Beautiful touching message, and I feel the same. I have been able to express myself freely here and feel supported by others.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/16/2019 (11:33)
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11/25/16 4:30 P

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Before I read this lesson this morning, I listened to a podcast about weight loss where her rule number one was "Be kind (to yourself)." I think the statement about our brains hearing our thoughts and attempting to make them true is so incredibly correct. I have heard this described as the brain wanting to be efficient, i.e. taking the easiest, most direct route to "help" us be what we think we are.

I remember as a child instances where someone such as a teacher said something to me that surprised me about myself - something like for instance "You draw nice pictures." I remember thinking oh, if she thinks so, maybe I do. As adults, we need to keep examining the thoughts we have and ask ourselves if they are true. If they aren't, change them! Be kind.



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8/22/16 1:08 P

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My inner critic has been healthier, just as I have been healthier. It is no longer either/or, now it is growth and progress. I used to focus on my shortcomings, now I am focused on my progress toward something better.

goal is to be able to walk again
Linda
high desert, California


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8/18/16 5:40 P

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emoticon Great posts, we are getting stronger emoticon
emoticon Cat~ Teaching and leading children to make good choices

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/16/2019 (11:35)
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8/18/16 6:59 A

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I loved reading everyone's posts! emoticon emoticon

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

New Group: Diabetic and Pre-Diabetic Weight Watchers (MyWW) Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
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8/17/16 9:35 P

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I am a worthwhile person!!!

Chele ... I’m with you! What we eat does NOT determine my self-worth NOR does the number on the scale.

I read years ago that using a negative to lead our children in the right direction ... we are actually planting a seed to do actually what we don’t want them to do:

Don’t go in the street.

Instead ...

Stay out of the street.

By stating what we want them to do ... you have a better chance of them doing it.

I am a slug coz I blew my diet.

Instead ...

I am a worthwhile person and am taking care of myself by eating on my program and moving my body.

We teach people how to treat us ... and we treat our loved ones better than we treat ourselves.

Through years of practice ... I have gotten better and better at taking good care of me. Each time I do 100 DWL and reread Linda’s other book ... Life is Hard, Food is Easy ... I get better and better at eating clean and exercising.

Last summer I gained 42+ pounds coz I gave up ... the ol’ all or nothing mentality.

This summer I did gain but this time it is 15 pounds and I am already working on getting it off and moving on.

Change your mind ... and the rest will follow.

Maribeth – I too struggle with hypothyroidism and insulin resistance along with pernicious anemia. We can do this … our way.


Edited by: MTN_KITTEN at: 8/17/2016 (21:39)
Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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8/17/16 4:28 P

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"...your brain hears your comments...and attempts to make them true." WHOA! Saying something negative about ourselves sets us up to make it true.

I love the point of lovingly speaking to ourselves as we would to a beloved child. It's taken me a long time to understand that feelings aren't true OR false, they just are. It's the thought we have behind them that is true or false, and the thought is often false, but we have to name it and investigate it to determine if that is what we want to think about the subject or circumstance. We can change the thought and lead the brain to make the new, positive thought true.



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8/17/16 3:02 P

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I 'used to be' my own worst critic, my own worst enemy if truth be told ... far from my own best friend. Through the decades of inspirational reading, collecting uplifting quotes, being in groups such as ours here, and doing 'inner' work I no longer criticize myself. Don't know 'when' exactly it stopped ... but it has ... and THAT is a blessing with some grace thrown in!

Now I still get 'frustrated' with myself ... but that is different than being a critic ... I use 'frustration' as a tool to get motivated and do something about it. After I learned to quit 'eating' in response that is ... ha!

(a recent improvement!)

dj ~ Big Island Hawaii
Whole-foods, Plant-based, No Sugar/Flour/Snacks, Moderate Exercise, Spiritually Focused/Supported - that's the plan!

"...casting all your cares on Him, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to Wisdom." ~ Buddha
"When diet is wrong medicine is of no use, when diet is correct medicine is of no need." ~Ayurvedic Proverb


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emoticon

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/16/2019 (11:37)
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8/17/16 11:54 A

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Back at ya Pam! emoticon emoticon

emoticon

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

New Group: Diabetic and Pre-Diabetic Weight Watchers (MyWW) Team!
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8/17/16 11:08 A

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Again, I will say that this is my first time going through this book and I scroll back to last September 2015 to read all of your comments on each day. I have done this every single day without fail since I have been taking this journey along with each and every one of you.

I have nodded, I have smiled, I have laughed, I have even shed a tear or two when I have read what each and every one of you have posted here. Even though I have not yet had the pleasure and honor of meeting any one of you face to face I feel like my soul would recognize your soul in the pitch dark. YUP!

YOU are amazing! YOU are so much better than YOU give yourself credit for! YOU are the final authority on what is GOOD and TRUE and RIGHT about YOU! NEVER EVER allow any one else take that away from YOU.

I feel nothing but lots and lots of love for all y'all (plural of y'all). Critic? What critic?

If you see one hanging around here kindly escort that blame fool to the nearest exit and then slam the door!

Love is only spoken here.

Pam emoticon



TweetyX2 (Pam B.)
Time Zone: EST
Atlanta, Georgia [USA]

A Look Back: January 4, 2017: 265.4 lbs.
January 1st, 2018: 231.6 lbs.
Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

This is not a race to the finish but a journey to the end.















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8/17/16 8:40 A

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Day #78 Ditch the Critic
Today I read the letter I wrote to myself last time through this book (it's on my computer).

This is an observation I wrote back then about myself.........
The truth is that you are still waiting for someone else to let you know you are ok just as you are. Stop waiting......just be!
The truth is that nobody else can do that for you, only you can do it.

I'm still a work in progress!


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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8/17/16 6:46 A

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Day 78, 100 days Ditch the Critic

I can relate to this. We all do the negative talk to ourselves. Putting positive affirmations inside our head helps.

Like that quote. "No matter what you say or do to yourself I AM a Worthwhile person."



Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
ASK ME ABOUT IT
www.tops.org
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8/17/16 6:20 A

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Day 78: Ditch the critic

For me this goes with the “all or nothing” feeling. Thinking: since I slipped I am not worthy of getting back on track. After joining this group, that feeling stopped.

Sometimes after an overindulgent “S” weekend I feel like a failure but I get right back on track. I am truly capable of doing anything. There are things that make me feel uncomfortable, but that does not mean I cannot do those things.

What I eat does not determine my self-worth. I no longer gobble down shacks or sweets but if I slip I am still a good person. I was so tempted to slip last night as I mentally prepare for my pre-op blood work this morning, but I didn’t. If I had I would still be a good person.

I like the idea of talking to myself as a child. At work I talk to little ones all day. There is nothing like talking to a young child on his/her first day of school! I deserve to treat myself with the same respect that I give these children.

I’m important, I’m valuable, and I count in this world.
No matter what you say, or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person.

emoticon


C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

New Group: Diabetic and Pre-Diabetic Weight Watchers (MyWW) Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
idual.asp?gid=71537


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5/15/16 7:35 A

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Grebjack, I think that we all face that inner critic. I think I hear less from her now.........but I'm old, much older than you. The important thing may be that we learn to recognize her voice. She has much less impact on our lives when we reach the point where we can say...."Oh! You again?"

Affirmations help! You know lots of great things about yourself so when you are getting the negative message you can counter it with a positive one! You know yourself; you know how hard the journey is and how how much work you have put into it.

I'm glad that you have positive people around you, so do I. It must be horrible to be around people who feel like they have a right to harshly criticize.

Don't shut down! Talk back firmly and positively!

Edited by: LIVINTODAY at: 5/15/2016 (07:36)
Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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I don't much hear these sorts of harsh things from other people, and it's been pointed out to me that my internal monologue says things to me that I would NEVER say to another person. Not about food or diet so much as about my time management or biting off more than I can chew. I do need to find a good way to stop cutting myself down. Like OOLALA, I suspect I can't actually turn the critic off, but maybe I can learn to be less sensitive to what she says. Clearly she doesn't help me much - I tend to shut down in frustration when I'm too hard on myself.

Rebecca

He drew a circle that shut me out--
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!
-Edwin Markham

www.fitbit.com/user/24NZF7
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3/20/16 3:29 P

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Good Post, OOLALA!
We all have negative thoughts; it is just a good idea not to dwell on them, or let them define us.
Oh, and definitely don't let them ruin your day!

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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3/20/16 2:57 P

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I took a course last year in which we were taught that the inner critic actually comes from a part of the brain that was part of our survival mechanism in evolution. It really believes that it is maintaining our survival, even though most of the negative thoughts pertain to maintaining the survival of our ego, not our body, anymore. It is actually quite innocent. I try less these days to change the thoughts than to try to see them as just appearing in the larger space of the real me, which can encompass all without being perturbed by any of it. This larger, observing self cannot be diminished or hurt by anything I or anyone else can do.

This doesn't mean I don't sometimes use calm, rational thoughts to counteract the irrational panic-voice. I just find that it's better not to feel it's a mistake for negative thoughts to occur to me, since I am not in control of what thoughts spontaneously appear.

This is all a work in progress, and believe me, I get a TON of practice.

Seven years of maintaining a 20% weightloss and counting.
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats.
8 years and counting! nosdiet.com/
*Get to the next meal hungry!
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3/19/16 3:26 P

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Ditch the critic.

Well, I thought I did! I still think I am much better about this than I used to be but lately I have been doing some spring cleaning and must admit that I have really been knocking myself around pretty good. Not out loud, but to myself......how stupid are you to let these windows get this bad; you'll never get them clean again! Well, they are clean! Then, when in the world did you last clean this closet? Why did you shove all this worthless stuff in there? Can't you just get rid of junk like this? There was more; the more I cleaned, the more worthless I felt; but then I put my tired old ___ in the easy chair and thought about all I had accomplished in a couple of days.

I told myself that I had done a great job; a real thorough cleaning in several rooms; I realized how much I loved the light streaming through the windows, the space in the areas I had decluttered, AND I loved ME - I am so glad I am healthy and strong enough to put my own house in order, I'm blessed to have this home and to have had so many second chances in my life. I'm getting older, I'm not the housekeeper I was 30 or 40 years ago; I just don't enjoy it as much, but I can still do it!

I'm still strong; I'm independent; I love that and I feel like being a Sparker is helping me to stay that way.

I promise myself that next spring I'll do the cleaning WITHOUT beating myself up over it.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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GOTTALUVPINK's Photo GOTTALUVPINK Posts: 613
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Day 78.... Ditch the Critic

I am getting better and better when it comes to negative self-talk. I still slip up occasionally, but I definitely know that I am a good person.

Jodie


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I find myself saying to myself - I am so stupid. I have been trying to change it to That was a stupid thing I just did.

Debbie


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3/18/16 9:21 A

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I wore a rubber band to snap each time I had negative thoughts yesterday. This is not a relaxing ritual but but neither is negative thinking which can undermine my relaxation ritual time. I will wear it again today to work on "ditching the critic." emoticon emoticon

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,611
3/18/16 7:09 A

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This lesson is like some others that when I read it I automatically thought this doesn't pertain to me. I just wrote yesterday about how blessed I am!

I read the lesson the second time and then went to the day #78 and after watching the YouTube video I wrote a "Love Letter to Myself"!
It was harder than I thought it would be. I forgave myself, I praised myself and I promised myself some good adventures as promised on Day #1.
P.S. I love Soul Pancake!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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SINFULLYQUAINT's Photo SINFULLYQUAINT Posts: 1,365
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This day really made me think about whether I am more positive or negative to myself. I think that I probably think a lot more negative thoughts towards myself than I realize. I'm going to use this day's lesson to try be more conscious of that and give myself positive talk and reinforcement instead of berating myself for not accomplishing some goal.

~Liz
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IAMBLESSED103's Photo IAMBLESSED103 Posts: 17,444
10/19/15 1:27 A

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78 – Ditch the critic

No matter what ANYONE says or does to me, I am still a worthwhile person.

This is a really good practice, as so many of us are often made to feel like we're "not enough"... they should raise children to do this too.


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10/18/15 11:46 P

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Day 78 - Ditch the Critic

Gill, loved the video “Write a Love Letter to Yourself”, what a great idea.

I am a daughter of God, and that means that I am important, I am loved and I am of great worth!

I love the saying…”Don't say anything about yourself that you wouldn't say about your best friend”.

Abby
Pacific Time Zone

My past mistakes do not dictate my future. At any given moment I have the ability to improve and choose a new path for myself. Today I choose to follow my plan and live a healthy lifestyle.


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Often in my life I find the need to defend that I totally accept my brother as he is, (he is gay). Not getting into a discussion here, just how I feel.

Many times people will cite biblical passages and to me they fall on deaf ears. He is my brother afterall.

So for this day activity I will state the same statement about me that I state about my brother.

I was made by God, I am one of his miracles and God does NOT make mistakes, therefore how I am, what I am, I am NOT a mistake.

Dot
Goal: To do better today.


Treasure the past, live in the present and believe in the future.


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10/18/15 6:19 P

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“No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person.”

My mantra for the day... Except I could say no matter what I say to myself, I am still worthwhile.

Edited by: MRSKATEDUVALL at: 10/18/2015 (18:28)
GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,176
10/18/15 10:08 A

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Awesome posts Cat and Gill! Thanks for sharing. For today's journaling, I will write myself a love letter. emoticon

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,272
10/18/15 8:58 A

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Right in rhythm with today's activity, a Spark friend posted this link to me - write a love letter to yourself. A sweet little video. Enjoy!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojUrs28LeGM


Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 11/10/2015 (14:11)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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10/18/15 8:03 A

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“No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person.”


www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jNJ59o4QgE

Edited by: CAT125 at: 10/18/2015 (08:25)
Cat, in Florida
Eastern Time Zone


Pounds lost in 2020......


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10/17/15 2:34 P

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18th October 2015

Day 78 – Ditch the critic

Note: If you find your way to the beginning of this thread, which was started in 2011, you'll find inspiration from posts made about this activity.

Here are today's suggested activities:

1. In your notebook, write down, “No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person.”

2. Then underline or highlight the words so they really hit home.

3. Say this to yourself at least a dozen times today. Anytime you hear negative things from other people as well as from yourself, repeat this phrase.

Here is the link to the Day 78 blog, posted on Linda's Spark page
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_pu
blic_jour
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=60
18294


Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 9/16/2017 (00:58)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,325
4/17/15 2:18 A

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This brought a tear to my eye. On an ancient label, stuck inside my wallet, looking faint from years of rubbing my thumb across it, are the words.. 'No matter what they say, I choose to see myself as......'.

I went for a huge chunk of my life, up to having my own babies, feeling I wasn't worthy. I'd worked hard in my career, trying to build self-esteem in the young people I worked with but I carried a knot of personal insecurity and it was there to hurt me, whenever there was a problem or the slightest hint of negativity. It was all MY fault. When someone tells you that you are 'not a nice person; not a good daughter; not pretty; need to try harder etc', that message is hard to shift.

When I had my daughter and then, in quick succession, the boys, I was way too busy to hear any external critics or internal voices plus I VOWED to make my crew feel good in their own skins. Gradually I became a lot stronger and I realise now that it was because I chose to adopt a more positive mindset and to recognise my achievements. I took on board what I worked to inculcate in my own children, that they are worthy in their own right.

Professionally, I'm still something of a perfectionist. I like to turn in a really good job and I've identified areas where I turm to food as part of this cycle. Some things still hurt. Some have hurt a lot. However, the faded label is still in the wallet to remind me that I can either be a victim or I can choose to see my self in a positive light.

Linda, brilliant section of this book. Huge thank you!

Edited by: DI_NAMIC at: 4/17/2015 (02:19)
Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

Delighted to be a 'Determined Daisy'.
'Defeat is a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.'



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1KINDREDSPIRIT3's Photo 1KINDREDSPIRIT3 Posts: 6,053
9/20/14 12:41 A

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Isn't it amazing that most of us realize this is a great lesson and one we struggle with. We are so hard on ourselves. Is it perfectionism or old words from family/school kids/co-workers haunting us? I, too, agree with Mtn_Kitten that its a great lesson to realize while at work especially since I am still working. I have had enough comments said to me regarding the way I dress - to the way I look - to the way I act - that would put anyone in an emotional tailspin. I was sad off and on for years in this job, but now I say to heck with their ugliness and ignore them. And I wasn't the only one, I had a number of people there tell me they felt the same way. I started speaking up for myself. But sometimes its so shocking you are at a loss for words.

anyway take care and thanks for all the support

cheers
barbara

Edited by: 1KINDREDSPIRIT3 at: 9/20/2014 (00:42)
Set yourself up for success and anything is possible. - SP



MKBWNSUGAR's Photo MKBWNSUGAR Posts: 11,079
9/19/14 9:44 P

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The is is a great lesson and I like how you change it around MYTURNNOW2013 and I also wish I had this lesson while working MTN_KITTEN emoticon

Edited by: MKBWNSUGAR at: 9/19/2014 (21:45)
Martha
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The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,272
9/19/14 3:45 A

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Day 78

I know in my heart that this is an important one for me; so I'm going to do the activity just as she says!

"No matter what you do or say to me; I am still a worthwhile person"

I've written it on a square of paper, underlined the words in pink highlighter - and I'm putting it in my jeans pocket for the day.

(I have a lot of internalised beliefs about my unworthiness which do not serve me well)

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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9/15/14 8:40 P

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Day 78 - Ditch the Critic

Wow ... this is a lesson I wish I had mastered while still working. I let people control how I felt about myself. I took on the burden of being responsible for their actions and thoughts.

No matter what you say or do to me, you will not make me eat because I AM a worthwhile person.

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
9/5/14 1:16 A

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Day 78 - Ditch the Critic

In your notebook, write down, "No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person."

~ Then underline or highlight the words so they really hit home.

~ Say this to yourself at least a dozen times today. Anytime you hear negative things from other people as well as yourself, repeat the phrase.

--I think I would modify that one to read


"No matter what LIFE does to me, I am still a worthwhile person"


CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/18/11 6:22 P

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emoticon :::nods:::

a few years ago, someone shared with me.... (this may have originated through weight watchers) that a lady put a picture of herself as a baby on the fridge to remind herself that she IS as precious as any baby, and deserves the same tlc we would give a baby...

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: CD10163029 at: 9/18/2011 (18:24)
WARMSPRINGDAY's Photo WARMSPRINGDAY Posts: 5,073
9/18/11 1:27 P

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I, too, am my own worst critic.

"Start treating yourself with the same level of tenderness and respect as you would that child." Oh, how I need to hear that. I beat myself up frequently.

Is this a trait of the perfectionist? I know I am not perfect - far, far, far, far from it. But I set high expectations, and when I don't reach them, I am hard on myself. Any other perfectionists out there who struggle with this?

I am a finisher!

WHATEVER IT TAKES!

I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be. - Joyce Myers

I have a choice!

Co-Leader of Team "Lost a Loved One"
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17111


I am doing a virtual walk across America
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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/15/11 3:41 P

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emoticon :::nods::: i understand, similar here with dh & me...

i do believe the boys r right in this case, eh? ;)

KITT52's Photo KITT52 Posts: 98,512
9/14/11 7:33 P

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funny thing Jules he did tell me the same thing but I felt he was just trying to be nice, and did not mean it.....I kept those tapes of what my Mother use to scream at me for so many years.....(no man will ever really love you as long as you are fat)....last year I learned from my brothers and sister that my weight was never an issue either, though my sister the nurse was worried about my health.....I never felt I bonded with them because they were embarrassed by me, at least that's what my mother told me, they were older and moved out when i was in junior high, oh well that is old baggage and I am moving on....

2014 Ruby-lite of the YEAR
In GOD WE TRUST...
MOTIVATION REALLY IS--- TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR CONSCIOUS ACTION
FOOD NEVER SOLVES ANY ISSUE EXCEPT HUNGER.



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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/14/11 12:52 P

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emoticon Hysterical! (& what a fun technique! ;)

emoticon Wow Kitt, Gary is spot on! I'm glad you really heard what he said & took it to heart :)

CD3363447 Posts: 8,670
9/14/11 10:21 A

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I've gotten really good at countering self-criticism. Way back in college (1960's-70's :-) when I caught myself putting myself down I'd yell, "Support!" in my head and three Roman cartoon guys in togas would come running into the dome of my head with a Corinthian column, set up it up, and run out the opposite ear emoticon Think, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to The Forum".

But my favorite is when I was working 6-7 years ago and my head and fingers got into an argument, out loud, about who had caused a typo. One of them got really nasty, the upper hand, and it was necessary to bring in my overarching third self to deal with him. Of course, by this time my coworker was on the floor laughing hysterically as she explained she didn't mind with the two but when the third person entered the argument. . .

Nope, don't allow mean critics to get a hold of me! One has to test critics to see if their criticism is helpful or just hurtful. When it's hurtful it's about them, not you.

What I like about some of my self critics is that their argument and language is so "basic" and if you make fun of them or their choice of words, they shut up; they can't deal with a real argument. I shrug at the other people's ignorance or set boundaries and educate if they're loved ones.

Edited by: CD3363447 at: 9/14/2011 (10:28)
KITT52's Photo KITT52 Posts: 98,512
9/13/11 7:40 P

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getting on the positive band wagon has helped me the most...

way back when I over heard Gary telling his Mother, he loved me no matter what I weighed and shame on her for thinking he was so shallow.....he also has told me that no matter what I decide to do he was on my side, guess he said he had my back....lol that was huge for me since my own Mother always told me how terrible my life would be if I was fat....she even had me believing my own brothers and sisters hated me because her words were "no one wants a fat sister, daughter, cousin ...etc....
I am moving forward knowing I am lovable, and special....

2014 Ruby-lite of the YEAR
In GOD WE TRUST...
MOTIVATION REALLY IS--- TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR CONSCIOUS ACTION
FOOD NEVER SOLVES ANY ISSUE EXCEPT HUNGER.



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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/13/11 6:30 P

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I've heard such similar things! And I self-perpetuated. Changing the self-talk IS hard! I like the idea suggested for this day. So true. We are worthwhile and are not defined by ________ (scale, height, address, possessions, job, etc) We all matter as much as everyone else. All the rest is just stuff & activities & interrelationships... which hopefully we do our best and with love (or a smile ;)

DBBDANFORD's Photo DBBDANFORD Posts: 188
9/13/11 12:47 P

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I am my worst critic. I'm in sales and sometimes they use put-downs as motivators. "Anybody can hit quota if they try" You are measured by the amount you sell...month after month. They hold the "big dogs" over your head suggesting that if they could do it, so can you....even though it's an old and proven standard...80% of sales come from 20% of team. So after 30 years of this drill, my self image has taken a beating on a regular basis. The thing is...they never had to say a word or hold comparisons....I was there long time before they ever were. I was beating myself up enough for both of us. Now, I am trying to treat myself with more love and care. But I have to remind myself constantly that my self worth is not measured by the numbers on the scales or the sales number I bring in for the month.

December Goals

Dec. 6th - 180 - Done!
Dec. 13 - 179
Dec. 20 - 178
Dec. 27-177
Jan. 3 - 176



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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/12/11 10:21 P

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emoticon Day 78, Ditch the Critic

Do you ever try to motivate yourself by being critical or by using negative self-talk? Unfortunately, punishing yourself doesn't usually cause you to change your behavior. Instead your brain hears your negative, chastising thoughts, and then it attempts to make them true. In fact, whenever you label yourself with words such as "failure," you usually just drag yourself down further.

It's time for you to ditch the critic inside your head and take the opposite approach. Start telling yourself, "Come on, you're truly capable of doing anything!" These positive messages will help you feel more inspired to stay with your goals.



emoticon Speak Kindly!
The type or amount of food you eat does not determine your self-worth! So remind yourself that even on days when you gobble down a bag of chips or devour a huge piece of cake, you are still a good person.

Pretend for a minute that you're talking with a small child. Now picture yourself sitting on the floor and gently saying, "The fact that you ate candy before dinner or broke your toy doesn't change who you are. You are still a valuable person regardless of what you did."

Start treating yourself with the same level of tenderness and respect as you would that child. If you slip up on your goals, don't beat yourself up for being a "failure." Instead, hold your head up high and tell yourself, "I'm important, I'm valuable, and I count in this world."



emoticon I'm still worthwhile! Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, teaches a great way to change negative self-talk. He encourages workshop participants to respond to "put-downs" or negative messages by saying, "No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person!"

Saying this phrase again and again will help you mentally contradict hurtful or cut-down comments that can harm your self-esteem. It will also help you stop the negative messages inside your own head.

During times when you don't finish the work project on time or your spouse yells at you because you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, just pull out the "I'm still a worthwhile person" phrase and repeat it to yourself as many times as necessary. Then live as if it were true -- because it it!


emoticon Suggested activities for today
~ In your notebook, write down, "No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person."

~ Then underline or highlight the words so they really hit home.

~ Say this to yourself at least a dozen times today. Anytime you hear negative things from other people as well as yourself, repeat the phrase.



emoticon link to author's daily comments

theweightlosscafe.com/blog/



emoticon link to our discussion day 77

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x44031462




emoticon link to day 79 :)

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x44082718


Edited by: CD10163029 at: 9/15/2011 (14:13)
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