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THETROUT's Photo THETROUT Posts: 1,866
11/26/19 7:39 A

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Day 81 - Unhook the chains.
Yesterday afternoon I ate all kinds of wrong foods.
Recall a behavior chain of events you experienced today or in a recent week. Write down the item, person or situation that you think started the chain.
It started with the scale not cooperating yesterday. I had eaten on plan, taken 2 long hikes over the weekend and just felt entitled to some weight loss.
Then I'm stressed and kind of angry about Thanksgiving at my house. I wish people would bring more food, but I didn't ask them to. Also frustrated that my family are picky eaters, and guests are gluten free. Too many food issues. I wish people were different, but they aren't.
Also stressed and angry about so many leaves in the yard and no time to deal with them. My husband would say to hire our lawn guy to deal with them, but at $100 per time, I'd rather deal with them myself when I have time. Yesterday after work, I didn't have time before dark due to a webinar I needed to go to. Yesterday was busy with work, then webinar, then dark. And then feeling stressed about having to deal with shopping and cleaning for Thanksgiving which will be with guests who aren't my favorite friends.
So, during the webinar, I started eating all kinds of foods that would send my goal backwards.

With each link, write a note about any actions you could have taken to handle the problem instead of letting it build.
- About the scale - Just pray and commit my eating to the Lord. The scale is sometimes slow to respond.
- About leaves - organize a schedule so I know how it will get done.
- About Thanksgiving - Pray giving over my depression and frustrations to God. Organize a schedule on how things will get done. Figure out any tasks to delegate to family members.

Edited by: THETROUT at: 11/26/2019 (07:40)
Janet in Georgia

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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,393
11/26/19 12:22 A

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Day 81 - Unhook the chains

1. Recall a behavior chain of events you experienced today or in a recent week. Write down the item, person or situation that you think started the chain.

I have a recent foot injury - Morton's neuroma - and it has put a crimp into my exercise plans. I can't run for a while, and I love running. I can't indoor row because I push with the injured part of my foot (the ball of my foot) when I pull back on the seat slide. I was training for a February competition, but that looks like it won't happen. I have to be careful when I cycle, not to press too hard on the pedal with the injured foot. I can walk and I can swim. Walking doesn't really get my heart rate up, but swimming does. It makes me crazy that my training goals and plans need adjustment and I have to be less active. I feel temptation to eat.
Other things that throw me off are disagreements with DH, luckily that doesn't happen too much. Feeling disrespected. Feeling alienated. Feeling incompetent. Having my plans thrown off by someone else's thoughtlessness. On the scale of world catastrophes, they are not big things, just mundane things that need to be dealt with.

2. Now draw or describe the behavior chain. Keep asking… and what else? Add more items to the list until you’ve exhausted all the possible links in the chain.

Injured foot, can't do some of the physical training I had planned, idleness until I make a decision on how to adjust, annoyance and anger that I have to deal with it, time wasted feeling sorry for myself, finally resolution and moving forward, hopefully with no food involved to soothe my irritated feelings.

3. With each link, write a note about any actions you could have taken to handle the problem instead of letting it build.

Take time and be patient and step through figuring out how to heal. Treat myself as I would treat my kid or my best friend - once I have taken care of the injury, take time to grieve the injury and thenadjust my exercise plans.


June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 28,081
11/25/19 12:30 P

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Suggested activities for today
~ In your notebook, draw a behavior chain of events you experienced today or during a recent week.
Plan what I want to eat, stick with it at work, until I get home. I change into comfortable clothes and plop into my recliner. Hubby has cooked a delicious supper I didn't know about, I eat what he cooks, I have seconds because he's a good cook and I had a stressful day at work. We watch tv, shows or a movie, doesn't matter. I agree to a small glass of wine, he brings me another glass, and I think why not, I deserve it. My daughter brings me a small candy bar or some kisses, I have those, I go to the fridge and search for more because why not, I've already gone way off plan... and what else... I feel lazy and don't exercise, it's too late now anyhow, it's bedtime

~ Keep asking "And what else?" Then add more items to the list until you've exhausted all the possible links in the chain.

~ With each link, write a note about any actions you could have taken to handle the problem instead of letting it build. I could have exercised when I got home. I could have had ONE serving of the food he made and not gotten more and had the ONE glass of wine and say no thank you to a second glass or to any more food of any kind. I could have gotten in my exercise anyway, what's 15 minutes even at bedtime(ish) ?

Edited by: OHANAMAMA at: 11/25/2019 (12:34)
~ Renee ~

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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,877
11/25/19 11:30 A

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Oh boy - right on target. Right on time!

Garage door opener - shot
Super busy at work
Need to pack to leave for several days
Ordered a few gifts on line - wrong sizes!

I tell myself - slow down. Focus on positives - being with family; fun getting away for a few days; prepare/plan some healthy side dishes . . . The gifts - so what! They can be returned and the proper sizes sent. The garage door opener - well, there's this place called Home Depot!!

emoticon

Babs
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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,648
11/25/19 10:19 A

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DAY #81 UNHOOK THE CHAINS

I think this lesson is coming at a very opportune time with the busy week ahead of us in prep for Thanksgiving. Until Thursday, most likely, many of us will experience an increased frenzy in our lives as we take care of preparation up to the very last minute! With a hectic life we frequently don't take the time we need to rejuvenate ourselves and fill our "emotional buckets". Consequently, we may find ourselves turning to food for relief.

In our lesson today we learn "While these things may seem like a series of random events, they became connected until they wore down your resistance to food. In a "behavior chain" one thing leads to another, increasing your frustration until you throw your hands up in the air and reach for the cookies or the M&M's." AND "Struggles with emotional eating rarely happen in isolation."

Our Action Plan:
1. Identify the exact time you first felt that desperate desire to eat something.
2. Work backward through all of the events that bothered or upset you.
3. Identify each situation or person that prompted your stressful feelings/emotions.
4. In each situation when you miss-stepped, come up with what you could have done differently.

emoticon That behavior chain ASAP!

For right now I honestly can't think back on this and relate it to one of my recent over-indulgences, BUT I hope this lesson will help me be more aware for the days ahead.



Edited by: FUNLOVEN at: 11/25/2019 (10:22)
Sue

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,594
11/25/19 7:03 A

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Day # 81 Unhook the Chains...
I think there are still a couple of areas that I can look back on and see the chain of events that left me feeling unhappy with how I handled them.
The chain...
Husband who thinks I can read his mind;
He walks out the door, I turn to food
(Sometimes I need to keep talking until he understands me.)
(Sometimes I need to go on with life as if he gets it!)

The chain...
I’m a procrastinator;
Starting 1000 things, finishing none;
Being disappointed in myself when asked how I’m doing on a project;
(Turn off the TV, turn off the iPad )
(Finish one thing today!)
(I’ll post a picture!)

Edited by: MAWMAW101 at: 11/26/2019 (07:49)
Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

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THETROUT's Photo THETROUT Posts: 1,866
11/25/19 6:39 A

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Day 81 - Unhook the chains

Wow! This lesson gets to the heart of the matter. I looked over my calendars for October and November and can't recall a sequence of events related to emotions when I went off track. On my son's birthday, I had a high calorie main dish and cake. The next day I finished off the cake frosting. None of that was emotional eating. The food was just there in my presence.

However, I have been frustrated enough in daily life to do this. Part of why I haven't is that my "go-to" emotional eating foods are not in the house.

Janet in Georgia

Just using SP suggested calorie/protein/carb range

Perfection is not the Goal; Slow and Steady wins the race


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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,691
1/26/19 3:51 A

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Well done Paula for not allowing the 'stress' to affect your eating, actually I too tend to eat before an event as I can get unhinged too, we should know better shouldn't we. My dh also can be a little Dry that way too and sometimes its not as funny as they think it is! emoticon emoticon

Donna
Lancashire, UK

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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,136
1/25/19 10:44 P

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Thanks, Donna! emoticon My DH is very dry that way. Actually last night wasn't so bad - I didn't get as on edge as I thought - and actually stayed on plan. It was the anticipation of the event the day before that got me unhinged rather than the actual event of staying alone.

Paula -- Waco, TX area
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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,691
1/25/19 3:18 A

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Day 81, 100 days Unhook the chains

Paula that was a little mean of your hubby but i understand my hubby would say similar things and they don't realise how much it can affect us deep inside! ;-( Not sure if it was mine going with his sister to visit his brother at the Alzheimer centre that was included in my chain!

In a behaviour chain one thing leads to another but I'm not sure what started it, tiredness doesn't help! Of course I didn't realise at the time what was happening!

Even when my daughter asked me How many syns were in the chocolate bar I was sharing with my MiL I still didn't stop! I had discussed with her earlier that making a good choice I would rather have 3 squares of chocolate than 1 quality street choc so she was aware I was 'trying' to follow my plan! Also I decided to write down all the syns/extras I had eaten that day as I often don't and I am not sure if that made the chain worse! I'm going to try to review this earlier next time. emoticon

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,136
1/24/19 9:17 A

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Interesting exercise, and I need go no farther back than last night. I was emoticon yesterday with my food and exercise. I was feeling satisfied and rested, when around 9:30 I thought I'd get a little snack. I had the calories left for it in my upper range. After that, it went downhill and I went through about 3 more snacks before I was done.

I've linked it back to the fact that DH is going out of town and I'll be here alone. We're isolated, and night time noises all of a sudden become very threatening and scary. I used to live alone years ago, and it was no big deal, but now I know I won't sleep nearly as well and it is something to be gotten through -- endured. I've already been thinking about how I might do some all night kitchen re-arranging or something similar if I can't sleep. On top of that, he will be bringing back company with him that will be staying here several days. It's an old friend of his from high school that I don't really know all that well. They're visiting another friend from the old days who is not doing so well.

And I'm sure there is more -- "what else?" DH made the comment to me when I told him that I didn't like it when he's gone -- "Well, it will be good practice for you." meaning for when sometime in the future if things follow the natural order (he's older than I am) I'll be a widow and on my own.

So last night in anticipation of the future I'm guessing that those uncomfortable feelings had something to do with my turning to snacking to comfort myself. There are definitely other things I could have done besides turn to food!

BTW - Internet back functioning again! I can type to my heart's content! emoticon

Edited by: PAULALALALA at: 1/24/2019 (09:21)
Paula -- Waco, TX area
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,087
1/23/19 12:01 A

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Unhook the chains - Linda u.nu/zbw-
Missing Link: Accountability u.nu/vin5
Break chain reactions (sugar then eating all day) - breath and drink water!
emoticon
"Unshakeable Self-Esteem" u.nu/zdv4
"Stop Emotional Eating" u.nu/jqhz u.nu/gait
Maintaining u.nu/x0mi u.nu/y3wl u.nu/60cg
Meditation u.nu/-z8r u.nu/lb-v u.nu/jvfi

Edited by: AURA18 at: 5/21/2019 (10:20)
Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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CAROLYNINJOY1's Photo CAROLYNINJOY1 Posts: 12,173
5/30/18 1:31 A

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100 Days Challenge, Day 82 - That was the last straw

Today's assignment

1. Watch for events that hook together, putting you at risk for "last-straw eating." Write a list.

It's been so long since I've experienced "last-straw" eating, I cannot remember any events that led up to it. The closest I can come is that I threw myself a "pity-party" and didn't invite anyone else to eat the food. The reason I felt self-pity is chronic, debilitating pain and what seems like the unfairness of life. So what that life is unfair, deal with it the best way I can and move forward.

2. Think of ways you can prevent last-straw eating. Describe at least one thing that will protect you from eating once you reach that frustration point.

Set a time for 10 minutes before eating. Then I will ask myself, "What's going on?" or the question, "and what else?"

3. Write down one action you can always reach for on days when a series of events wears you down.

Breathe, four square breathing helps me. Count to four as I breathe in, hold it for a four count, breathe out to a four count and hold it for a four count. Drinking a full glass of water and using a time to do something positive. Journaling helps.

Joy is a Choice. Choose joy moment by moment.

When all else fails, persistence prevails.

Injoy:) Carolyn

(Arizona - Mountain Standard Time)

My personal story as a blog:
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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN SparkPoints: (175,123)
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5/26/18 1:44 P

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I'm catching up while on the road.

Wow … do these lessons come in a timely manner for me. As most know … hubby suffered a TBI 11 years ago. When life gets difficult for him … he is prone to a manic episode. Life, his thoughts, his behavior … run at a million miles a minute.

As I itemizes his "links in his chain" … it's very apparent how things got difficult. We had a hiccup Wednesday night after a list of "links".

As I itemizes my "links" I tend to brush them aside … and go directly to eating. Taking a step back doesn't undo what has been done/eaten. BUT it's a lesson for the "next" time … coz there will be a next time. Life is messy.

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,153
5/25/18 4:45 P

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Thank you for your honesty people - we are recognizing our emotional eating behaviours, and this is empowering - even when it overpowers us most of the time!

Taking extra fruit with me did help me today. After I left work, at 6.30pm, I suddenly remembered that I'd put a slightly under-ripe nectarine in a little plastic container - and searched around in my rucksack for it. It was great to have 'forgotten' it - and then rediscover it. It helped prevent me from snacking when I got home - because I'd already had something.

I know that extra fruit isn't the solution for everyone - and that it can push blood sugars up, and it's hopeless for anyone on a low-carb diet - but it seems to work for me, and the moment.

emoticon

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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MINDFUL-C's Photo MINDFUL-C SparkPoints: (192,576)
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5/25/18 4:53 A

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Gloria, emoticon

When I go out I find it difficult to stick to my plan. Like I lose control of myself.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

Love the Mindful Dieting Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
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5/25/18 4:40 A

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Ski... emoticon Another extreme introvert. Social weekend coming up. Tomorrow is my birthday and Sunday we are having company for the holiday weekend.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

Love the Mindful Dieting Team!
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idual.asp?gid=71537


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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,294
5/24/18 10:57 P

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This is me today. An extreme introvert, I had social situations yesterday AND today. I haven’t necessarily overeaten (yet!), but I have had more of “not-my-food” than usual and I feel it. The trick now will be understanding those event chains in making it through the rest of the evening and regaining my equilibrium!



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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,326
5/24/18 1:29 P

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I have to break the chains of saying.......oh well I’ll try again tomorrow......I have to be strong enough in the present.........last night we went to a Mexican restaurant......I planned on not eating the chips and salsa.......guess what.....I thought oh well I’ll try again tomorrow.......what is wrong with me?

One day at a time!


Gloria.
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MINDFUL-C's Photo MINDFUL-C SparkPoints: (192,576)
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5/24/18 4:02 A

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This Worthy C is going to work on unhooking her chains today.

Weight is up .8 (slight gain 2 days in a row). Could be due to" salt, illness, eating later, or just because. BIG chain to unhook. Feeds my mind to push me into "all or nothing" thinking. Might as well eat off plan today. You followed it and look what happened!

I had lots of chains when I was sneak eating. Many are gone, but having the scale go up when I was on plan is a tough chain to unhook. I am already dealing with stress, anxiety, and illness. Yesterday was a wacky day with no voice. Today is another 1st grade day with no voice.
emoticon
BUT I am aware of the chain (thank you Linda).

What is bothering me, making me upset... pushing me to want to eat? And what else? Oh, OK, thoughts... thoughts can not harm me. I do not need to eat to remove thoughts.

Anxiety, stress? Yep, they are a part of me. They do not need food.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

Love the Mindful Dieting Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
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1/26/18 4:17 A

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Enjoyed reading all of the responses.

I am working on unhooking my chains. If my road widens I do not have to make it wider before it narrows again.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

Love the Mindful Dieting Team!
sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
idual.asp?gid=71537


EST


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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,877
1/25/18 5:44 P

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Fantastic responses.

In many ways my 'chains' are my old, lazy, bad habits. So hard to break those habits since I've got my excuses down pat!

BUT there's always room for improvement. I'm making progress and I know longer think I have to be perfect. That 'chain' lead me back to the refrigerator and/or fast food!

100 Days is fantastic and all of you are so supportive. emoticon

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,310
1/25/18 3:04 P

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I recognise my triggers and the antecedents. I'm getting much better at dealing with 'link 1' . When I slip up, it is usually because I'm tired. However, every day is a fresh Day and a fresh chance.

Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

Delighted to be a 'Determined Daisy'.
'Defeat is a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.'



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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,691
1/25/18 2:37 P

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Day 81, 100 days Unhook the chains

For me Unlocking the Chains is still always Move away from the Kitchen and temptations!!! Sadly I didn't follow this up today.

Today I should have kept away from the goodies for my family I had bought as I shouldn't have shopped when tempted!

Okay gonna try to Practice that Persistence too tomorrow! Well I'll try!

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,353
1/25/18 10:14 A

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Day 81, Unhook the chains
Susan, You really hit a nerve with that post and I agree with Maria! "Practice, Persistence and not Perfection". I have to admit that I sometimes struggle for perfection and it seems to be a sure way to fail. Now I practice No S and tracking, and daily exercise, and I persist......
in fact...I guess I practice persistence!

I wish I lost weight more regularly but I continue to be a mistress of maintenance and the weight loss will come. Most of all I strive to be healthy and that will continue to be my goal.

It takes persistence to unhook the chains! But...... emoticon

exercise today - seated core exercises on Spark video

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,176
1/25/18 10:05 A

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I'm rephrasing another eye opening lesson that has helped me to unhook the chains.

When I slip up, I rely on what Focusonme shared, "Practice, Persistence not Perfection. I do not allow incorrect self talk and excuses to fill my head and undermine my confidence and goals. It's not always easy but like so many things it becomes easier with baby steps and practice.

I use corrected language of; "It's NOT OK. I've worked too hard~nip it in the bud~ stay on plan, I AM doing it, I WILL continue to do it...."

The chains are in my head. 100 DWL, along with a lot of introspection has been unlocking them. Positive self talk and follow through is my key. emoticon emoticon


Edited by: GOCALGAL at: 1/25/2018 (10:12)
Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
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"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
1/25/18 9:07 A

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I am amazed at how quickly this 100 days is going. Unhooking the chains, so far it's been a fairly easy go, in my 3rd week of No S and can say I've gotten used to not snacking, not taking second helpings on the N days.

As a widow I had to learn to just live with/feel the pain sometimes without trying to dull my senses with food. Trying to bury the feeling just intensifies the pain and makes it even harder to deal with.

I haven't had a stressful S day yet though, so it will be interesting to see how I handle that one when it occurs. Practice, Persistence, and not necessarily Perfection will get me to my goal.

MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,594
1/25/18 7:28 A

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Day #81 Unhook the Chains
Each time I go through the days and can look back at where I've been it is a lesson in itself.
Being retired and keeping the weight off (not easy) helps me to live the life I love every day.





Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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CGH-ARTYPANTS's Photo CGH-ARTYPANTS Posts: 1,307
1/25/18 6:43 A

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Unhook the chains. I have not had an emotion eating spell in quite a while. I can't think of a circumstance where chains of events made me run to eating. I do have quite a few unpleasant tasks staring me in the face. Getting rid of clutter is my biggest chain right now. If I will work on it every day I can break that chain. I know I will feel so much more free when I toss or give away and organize what is left.

Cheri from Georgia
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1/25/18 5:25 A

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You don't have to scroll down far to find my last post on this thread. You're a survivor and a winner if you've got this far in the book - look what a small group we are now!

My last post still stands. And, more than ever actually, I think it's almost impossible to truthfully discover our own chains - they are so very complex. But it does give us some insight - and it's all useful.

'.. still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.....la, la, la.....' (the Boxer, Simon & Garfunkel).
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JUb
Fj0BIc4


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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9/20/17 8:09 A

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Day 81: Unhook the chains--but first recognize the beginning of a chain of events!

I love your little goofy figures. To talk to before eating something. Gotta get one of those.

chris

I have to be diligent about caring for myself. 100 DAYS OF WEIGHT LOSS is a great way for me to keep focused. Day 1 is July 1, 2017. Build habits to produce success. Most of these habits I have at least tried before but did not sustain. First habit: delay eating by using a timer.
LONG TERM GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight.Evening Eating Sabotage Myself Frustration ..Help! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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9/20/17 12:58 A

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Thanks for sharing, yes, the way we were raised kind of shaped our opinions of ourselves at an early age. That's why, I think, the chain we need to unhook is the one that leads to self-punishing ourselves for how we've thought, what we've said, or how we've behaved. As I continue to do this work on myself to unchain the reasons why I can sometimes use food in negative ways, I see more and more that it's a self-harming activity.

This lesson, and tomorrow's one (last straw eating) both seem to lead me to this conclusion.

Here's a stunner I saw on twitter last night - it really 'hit me'!


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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9/19/17 2:23 P

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Day 81, Unhook the chains

It seems we can all identify here. It is so hard to put ourselves first when most of us were probably raised to thing that putting ourself first was greedy, selfish, or just plain bad mannered. Well it is not! I've learned that many times!! I needed to learn it many times because I forget it so quickly.

Because my parents were such traditional parents of the 50s, I also learned the male opinion should take precedence over mine. Behind their backs I used to refer to my older brother as Saint Jay. I really was raised to feel I didn't count as much as he did. Also my father made the family decisions...my mother could decide where the furniture went and what clothes we had, not much more. She always seemed perfectly happy with that.

Sue, I thoroughly understand those dead-end conversations with hubs. Sometimes they are just so set on what they want that they can't hear another opinion.. I really generalized there didn't I? The fact is that it isn't only men, I can often be that way too. Your point is well-taken though, whenever the conversation is going nowhere, it is better to end it while you can still salvage your day and your peace of mind.

It is time...if the chains aren't unhooked --- just break the dratted things!! No perfection chains; no blame chains, no chains!!!

Exercise today - I'm back to squats and lunges; they have become my go to and my legs are so much stronger and my balance so much better.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,877
9/19/17 10:01 A

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I need to unhook the chains that I have put on myself - the ones that make me feel like putting myself first is not OK. It's wrong.

No it isn't! I've raised my kids. I "know" it's OK for me to be first, but I let those old habits chain me down.

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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9/19/17 9:33 A

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Phyllis - I'm glad to hear there is a beautiful beach left in Florida!

Gill - Thanks for the info on the book. I'm going to look on Amazon for it.

Yes indeed. That is all it takes sometimes is just one more thing to push me over the edge. The proverbial straw that broke the camels back. This happened to me just this past weekend. I love to shop and I had a "shop till you drop" with a GF that I don't get to spend a lot of time with. We always have tons of fun when we are together. The day of shopping ended with thoughts like "I shouldn't have bought that" and "I shouldn't have eaten that". Add these thoughts to being tired and then arguing with DH when I got home regarding a reoccurring issue we have about him expanding his interests - well, it was the last link in the chain! I ended up adding an additional 500 calories to my day that were unplanned, unwanted, and pushed me over my SP calorie range. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and walk away when I see that conversations with DH are going no where.

Sue

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,594
9/19/17 7:15 A

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Day #81 Unhook the Chains
This is why I love this book even though I "already know everything"! emoticon
Each time I go through the days and can look back at where I've been it is a lesson in itself.
Today I'm writing this from the balcony of a beautiful hotel on the beach in Florida.
Thinking about how much more active I am, how the choices of food have changed and how the main thing is having fun, this is what creating a new life is about for me.
Ah, here comes the sunrise over the ocean.....beautiful!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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9/19/17 4:30 A

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Letting go of the perfection chain.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

Love the Mindful Dieting Team!
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,087
5/22/17 11:38 A

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Day 81 Unhook the chains - Break chain reaction - Looking in fridge when I'm not hungry! Improve home cooking skills + healthy eating behaviors. Have fun in my kitchen then pack food away for when I'm truly hungy! Love new appliances: black SS fridge and stove arrived 1.10.16


Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/23/2019 (07:44)
Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
bit.ly/BLC41
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5/21/17 3:00 P

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Ah, true! But it is in the past! Now you can gargle! Hope you are feeling better!

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

Love the Mindful Dieting Team!
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,153
5/21/17 1:59 P

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Well done working out that 'chain', Wanda! It's so easy to overdo things in our enthusiasm.

Chele - well, good point, but the thing was, I hadn't intended to eat the ice-creams - I was looking forward to having them at the weekend. And even if an ice-cream was a reasonable choice with a sore throat (which I'd contest really - a salt-water gargle would probably be more effective!) - I didn't need to eat FOUR of them!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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5/21/17 11:07 A

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Day 81, Unhook the chains

I think it is helpful for me to look back and try to see the chain of events that caused me to veer off track, sometimes it seems there is no chain to be seen but at other times it is absolutely clear.

This lesson came into play last week. I've struggled with my walking and normally I enjoy walking and make an effort every day to get my steps. Week before last I had over 16,000 steps every day and over 22,000 steps one day. I was doing a week-long fitbit challenge.

As I look back I realize that because I was walking so much, I was not getting other things done. That made me feel like I needed to play catch up last week.

I also let fatigue get to me and didn't plan my meals well. The poor meal plan allowed me to succumb to snacking and I totally fell off No S for a few days.

My feet hurt, my toes especially, so I've been pampering myself this and have had barely 6000 steps a day. I wonder if I have arthritis in my toes also, Gill. After all I seem to have it everywhere else.

So....having clearly seen the chain, I am determined to unhook this week! I will make my walking goal every day this week - a more sensible 8000-10,000. I will plan my meals and get back to fully using the nutrition tracker and SparkCoach. I will rest enough but will not let myself be a couch potato.

I did keep up with my strength exercise so....

Day 81 - Everyday Body -Lower body video today



Edited by: LIVINTODAY at: 5/21/2017 (11:08)
Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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5/21/17 9:39 A

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Gill,

But is having a bit of ice cream really a "poor choice" when you are not feeling well? I know this is a matter of opinion but I see nothing wrong with the choice.

After my surgery all of my choices may not be the best, but I will be OK with it.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,594
5/21/17 6:47 A

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Day #81 Unhook the Chains

(Past observations)
The behavior chain usually began with frustration
which lead to a few comments and hurt feelings or anger.
My reaction was to go off alone and eat.

(New observations this time.)
I have definitely learned from these lessons that to use food for hurt feelings, or any other feelings only continues the cycle.
The only way to change my reaction is to be aware of it when it happens. I'm getting much better at remembering that food is never the answer!

(New New Observations 5-20-17)
I've definitely tackled my first reaction to hurt/unfair feelings and no longer turn to food!
I do know that I still need to be better about the "food pushers" when I'm out!
Just an observation (but it was my birthday!).

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,153
5/21/17 1:30 A

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I think today's lesson is helpful in looking at what's going on in our lives that can influence our eating behaviours. However, once I've reached the eating phase, I'm not sure how helpful looking back is. I guess it helps me 'head it off at the pass' if I find the same thing happening again.

I ate 4 choc-ices on Friday evening. I had bought them for the weekend. I am really not sure why I chose to eat them:

They were in the house
I bought them when I went shopping even though not on my shopping list
I had a sore throat and I guess cold ice cream seemed attractive
Maybe a childhood memory of ice cream for sore throats
Needing to be looked after
Having a sore throat
Feeling poorly

Aha! So really, it stemmed from being a lonely orphan (age 62!) - not having my Mum to look after me when I felt poorly. Parenting myself when feeling weak depleted my willpower.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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5/20/17 7:44 A

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Day 81: Unhook the chains
It always starts with just one little thing. Maybe your child is sick or your washing machine quits working. When you walk into the kitchen, you're attacked by leftover brownies so you eat several of them. Later on, you feel exhausted from your day as well as frustrated because you overate. So to get it all out of your system, you finish off the evening by eating a large bowl of ice cream.
While these things may seem like a series of random events, they actually became connected together until they wore down your resistance to food. In a behavior chain, one thing leads to another, increasing your frustration until you throw your hands in the air and reach for the cookies or the M&M's.
Struggles with emotional eating rarely happen in isolation. If your finances are already stretched, the broken washing machine simply adds another layer to your anxiety. And on days when you're operating by a thread, seeing an open pizza box can be too much for your fragile willpower.
Ask "and what else?"
To identify the links in a behavior chain, start by looking at the exact time you first ate or knew you desperately wanted to eat. Working backwards from there, ask yourself, "What happened? What bothered me or made me upset?"
Then consider all of the situations or people that may have prompted your stressful feelings or other emotions. As you identify items along the way, keep asking "and what else?" to jog your memory about other issues that affected you.
Study the links
Once you identify all the links in an eating-related chain of events, look carefully at each one. Determine exactly which places you slipped up and consider what you could have done to prevent them. For example, did you get way too hungry? Were you trying to keep yourself from exploding at your boss or your children? Maybe you skipped your regular lunchtime walk that always helps you manage your stress.
Rather than focus on how much you ate, think about other ways you could have handled the problems in your day. By stopping the sequence at the third event instead of waiting until the tenth one, you may be able to prevent yourself from heading for the cupboard.
In your notebook, draw a behavior chain of events you experienced today or in a recent week.
Keep asking "and what else?" Then add more items to the list until you've exhausted all the possible links in the chain.
With each link, write a note about any actions you could have taken to handle the problem instead of letting it build
The chains in me, I am working to rid them forever, one day at time with the book and TOPS they been disappearing not to return.
Positivity and success stories do wonders. and accountability partners.
I need to find activities to fill in the food cues.
Because I am a Strong healthy happy and becoming fit Leslie I can avoid lots of those situations now. I am not perfect and most likely wont be but I can do the best of my ability with the situation, and timing .
Need to find things to do instead as being alone eating alone can cause hazard to my plans,.

Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
ASK ME ABOUT IT
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5/20/17 5:25 A

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I still have my stress chains, my depression chains, and my "I just want to eat that" chains. I break them, but sometimes new ones latch on.

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

Love the Mindful Dieting Team!
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Love your cookie smashers!



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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
12/29/16 6:48 P

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Day 81- Unhook the chains

I made the mistake of reading what I wrote the first time through. It had been a particularly difficult day in caregiving and I had given in to eating more than I should.

for today I had a healthy breakfast and packed a healthy lunch. It was a stressful work day(I work telephone customer service for a financial institution) and I had to deal with multiple unhappy people and try my best to resolve their issues and maintain my own positive outlook.

By the time I got off work the tension in my neck and shoulders was mounting. I texted Tom I was on the way home and got one back saying he had gone to his daughters house.

Then I stopped at the corner store for milk. They had little cheesecakes in the case next door. One of them jumped into my arms like the fat old days and said "take me home!", so I did.

I got home and found the trash cans had not been put out yet, so stopped to do that and in the process saw that our neighbor had damaged part of our lawn with their snow plowing....ugh!

Went inside and ate the entire cheesecake which is supposed to be 3 servings. I felt stuffed and yucky afterwards. Tom came home about 20 minutes later and we went to taco bell to pick up something for him to eat. Came home and ate a can of beef ravioli myself.

I am going to learn from this one and move on.

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12/29/16 5:03 P

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Gill described my 'scenario' to a T. I find that there truly is 'nowhere to hide'. However, one thing that I have done when I have experienced a lot of RA inflammation is to take a nap. Usually, I end up missing one meal since I sleep over that time period. It does remove me from the situation and the rest seems to always be welcomed (or my body seems to think so).

I was thinking ahead about when we will visit our relatives during Thanksgiving in 2017 and how I would handle being with a lot of people I haven't seen in years out in the country with 'no escape'---haha. Maybe, this is when I find a bottle to nurse me through that...Just kidding. Depending on the weather I might consider driving to the next 'big town' (about 20 miles away) and seeing a movie (no matter what kind of movie it is). It would remove me from the potentially tough situation of passing trays of food sitting on the kitchen counters and also being bored as the guys watch football.

I love the idea of the squeeze toy. When my Dad had a stroke in 1999 and he quit smoking (after 57 years of smoking) he had a small container of Tic Tacs (they are small hard oblong breath mints). The container is hard plastic and the mints are hard as well. So, when he got antsy to have a cigarette he would have a breath mint and often while he was 'in between' these times he would shake the container. It sort of became a sound I got accustomed to hearing--Dad shaking this plastic container of hard breath mints. We knew he was upset about something then. It worked for him for years right up to his death in 2015.

Leslie: I love your new self-view. You sound so positive and self-assured.

Chele: I believe that in the past my anxiety was also derivative from underlying depression. As that waned I think my anxiety now is more about things that I have to face that seem almost insurmountable to me. I had that happen yesterday. Within minutes I made two payments that equaled $1K. One has some residual gnawing "I wish I didn't have to do this" and so I struggle with that once a month. I didn't eat then but I did go shopping online and spend some money with that same 'I deserve this' that you talk about. Later when hubby Paul was stopping by our local grocery store to pick up some eggs and juice I asked him to see if their bakery had any 'leftover' holiday cookies 'on sale'. Somehow, I also feel that it is okay to eat half price cookies. LOL. That is how my mind works. LOL.

It is a struggle but that is why we have a day like today. I can detach myself and catch myself. I ate the cookies first (I am very territorial about my sweets LOL) so it spoiled my appetite for the rest of my meal. Not the healthiest meal but I did see the connection between these events and that is where we can start to make changes. I like my idea bout Thanksgiving later in 2017. I do want to be able to avoid all this together by that time.

Plan ahead.

TweetyX2 (Pam B.)
Time Zone: EST
Atlanta, Georgia [USA]

A Look Back: January 4, 2017: 265.4 lbs.
January 1st, 2018: 231.6 lbs.
Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

This is not a race to the finish but a journey to the end.















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12/29/16 10:05 A

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Day 81 - Unhook the chains

In the past I have had many days such as Linda describes in today's lesson. Fortunately I am getting better at recognizing the chain building and being able to stop it.

A key thing for me is not getting too hungry. It is easier to keep from searching for random foods (checking the fridge and cabinets) when I can tell myself "You've already eaten, do you really need food?", and can more easily distract myself.

Love the idea of having a food guardian mascot as a reminder to make good choices. I am going to try to find one for my kitchen.

Another thing I have found that works for me is keeping a washed bowl of cherry tomatoes on the kitchen counter. When I feel the need to eat for comfort I can eat one or two while thinking about what I really need. While I am still eating they are healthy and low in calories so I can feel good about the choice.

Cheryl
Central Florida
EST
"The way get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” -Walt Disney
"What you allow is what will continue." Unknown
"The secret of getting ahead is getting started." Mark Twain


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12/29/16 9:04 A

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Gill, I LOVE that idea!!

I can not wear my bracelet with my charm from last time all of the time so another reminder may be the key!

This little guy has been sitting on my desk at home for months. Maybe it can help:


Cookie SMASH!!! LOL!

Day 81: Unhook the chains

I have lots and lots of heavy thick chains. Some are caused by depression. Some are created by stress.

The depression is based on my feeling that I deserve the treats. That it is not fair that others can eat it. But if I really think about it, while others eat it they are harming their bodies too.

I am working on being calmer, and a more positive person. When I am tempted to eat a less healthy food I will picture the chain breaking and that I am free to choose what I put into my body. Calm Chele would do that.



Edited by: MINDFUL-C at: 12/29/2016 (09:04)
C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

Love the Mindful Dieting Team!
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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,594
12/29/16 8:09 A

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Day #81 Unhook the Chains

(Past observations)
The behavior chain usually began with frustration
which lead to a few comments and hurt feelings or anger.
My reaction was to go off alone and eat.

(New observations this time.)
I have definitely learned from these lessons that to use food for hurt feelings, or any other feelings only continues the cycle.
The only way to change my reaction is to be aware of it when it happens. I'm getting much better at remembering that food is never the answer!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
12/29/16 7:54 A

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Day 81, 100 days Unhook the chains

I do have the habit of looking in the fridge when I am not hungry. I need to realize how often I do this then come up with better behaviors. Instead of eating...
Linda's example says that as we're successful in tracking and interrupting the chain of events, we can stop at the third thing rather than at the tenth
Christmas did get some of my bad habits again- Old bad habits die hard
So Yes I need to unhook those chains
I will succeed.

so I need to find activities to fill in the food cues.

Because I am a Strong healthy happy and becoming fit Leslie I can avoid lots of those situations now. I am not perfect and most likely wont be but I can do the best of my ability with the situation, and timing .

I will stay on plan so I can reach where I want to be. this is a new lifestyle and it is now set and no turning back. I can make the unexpected work in my plan too. Positive affirmations help.

Stress I do need to find some stress relievers.

I can reach where I want to be. this is a new lifestyle and it is now set and no turning back. I can make the unexpected work in my plan too.

The chains in me, I am working to rid them forever, one day at time with the book and TOPS they been disappearing not to return.
Positivity and success stories do wonders. and accountability partners.



Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
ASK ME ABOUT IT
www.tops.org
Central time


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12/29/16 4:42 A

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The main events that I'd like to be able to unhook the chains on, is when my resistance to chocolates, biscuits (cookies) and crisps (chips) at work breaks down. I can spend all day there 'being good' and resisting the open tub of chocolates, or box of cookies - but after about 8 hrs or so, my cup of tea technique no longer works, and I end up having chocolates and cookies. I feel 'stuck' at work - the temptation is greater than my will-power - even though, normally, I have a habit of not eating sweets during the week. Xmas has been very hard at work - and it will continue until after New Year! I can't see how to unhook this chain.

The chain of events is the gradual build-up of tiredness, frustration, stress during the work shift. I am sometimes at work until 10pm - and it's that last part of the day that is usually the worst.

The only thing I think I could try is making a joke about it! Maybe having a funny little character toy in my pocket that I could bring out and have a conversation with. In fact, I could almost take the chocolate and my little toy-friend could put it on the ground and stamp on it! Or crush the cookie over the trash can! My body does not need this rubbish non-food stuff. Can I find an amusing character toy to be my buddy? All I can find at the moment is this odd thing I got at the check-out in Lidl once - it's kind of bug-eyed. Maybe I can tie a thread onto it, so it won't get lost in my pocket!


I could think of this as being my 'trash-detector'! You got any better ideas? I work in supported living housing - I don't have an office, or a staff room, or a place to chill out - I'm just there, in the thick of it the whole time.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 12/29/2016 (04:49)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,087
12/25/16 3:58 P

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Edited by: AURA18 at: 5/22/2017 (11:27)
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11/28/16 7:57 P

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This lesson illustrates the concept that thoughts lead to feelings which lead to actions which lead to results (Brooke Castillo) and that by investigating the sequences of feelings and events, we can interrupt negative consequences by doing something other than what we would "normally" do. Linda's suggestion of writing down the sequence and then writing thoughts of what we could do differently is outstanding.



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JUSTME9898's Photo JUSTME9898 Posts: 3,423
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unlock the chain of defeatism and build a life raft of hope

goal is to be able to walk again
Linda
high desert, California


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