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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,747
8/24/16 1:32 P

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Like the book ideas and will investigate further.
For me Unlocking the Chains is always Move away from the Kitchen and temptations!!!

Today I need to keep away from the shop as I am very tempted emoticon but remember I am strong and kind to me emoticon

Edited by: DSJB9999 at: 8/24/2016 (13:33)
Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

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8/23/16 8:42 A

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It is an old book. I am on chapter 2 and just starting to get into it. I have the Kindle version.

C

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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,347
8/22/16 11:33 P

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Thanks! I'll look at that.



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8/22/16 9:35 A

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My husband suggested: The Magic of Believing. He has read it multiple times.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OI56250/ref
=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&
;btkr=1#nav-subnav


C

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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,347
8/21/16 12:43 P

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Yes, that's the one.



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8/21/16 8:22 A

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I agree, DJ... Sometimes our family is not the one we are born into. We do not communicate with my husband's sister and family. I can't go into why but it was / is a sad situation. I still send Christmas cards with school picts of the girls, but get nothing from her. Probably for the best.

emoticon

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8/21/16 8:18 A

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I see he has a bunch of books. Which one are you talking about? This one?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FC2K9W/ref
=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&a
mp;colid=13DGS6FUXOUJL&coliid=I344
E8S0TIDCRQ#nav-subnav




C

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DJBTOO's Photo DJBTOO Posts: 3,160
8/20/16 10:33 P

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Thank you Chele and Skirunner! Yes, I've read "Boundaries" - excellent book - it's been about 13 years since I've read it ... maybe I should re-read - ha!

I have 'distanced' myself from my sister in more ways than one ... it's just as we get older and are almost the 'only' ones left in our family I was trying for 'some' better ending to it all. Especially since she is going through breast cancer, extreme colitis, digestive issues, osteoporosis, etc. We rarely 'talk' in any form ... less and less the past decade or so... birthday cards/Christmas - that's about it. It's just been recently with all her health issues, tests, procedures and such - keeping up with that. There is no one left in our 'immediate' family and only an uncle, two aunts and a few cousins...which we have limited contact with.

But, it is what it is ... and sometimes 'family' ends up being 'not' the one you were born into.

The impact on my life was much worse 'before' ... I used it as the example here on 100 Days as it had 'just happened' and I DID take steps to 'break the chain'. Not at all how or what I 'used to' be or do. So I have improved immensely ... though my posting probably did not convey that very well.

Edited by: DJBTOO at: 8/20/2016 (22:48)
dj ~ Big Island Hawaii
Whole-foods, Plant-based, No Sugar/Flour/Snacks, Moderate Exercise, Spiritually Focused/Supported - that's the plan!

"...casting all your cares on Him, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to Wisdom." ~ Buddha
"When diet is wrong medicine is of no use, when diet is correct medicine is of no need." ~Ayurvedic Proverb


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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN SparkPoints: (176,551)
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8/20/16 10:25 P

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I look at this as … breaking the chains of emotional eating when not physically hungry.

I was right on track with eating and exercising 7ish months … re-lost the 42+ pounds I had gained the summer before plus some … giving me a 60 pound loss total. Then …

I missed my goal of breaking into Onederland before Anne was born. This goal was not for her or for her to love me … it was for me … a doable goal with a timeline. I got to 200.5. But …

My daughter’s issues became mine with her hoarding housekeeping and her 3 kids still reeling from all the years of SIL’s drinking with them lying and manipulating … SIL is now sober and a great dad. Then …

The heat and humidity caused havoc on my physical body causing painful water retention and migraines. And …

We were living in our 22 foot travel trailer and not getting enough down time. Then …

The last … link in the chain … DIL here in Colorado was told there was an issue with their unborn baby … all is well now. Then …

We had to gear up to leave our DD to go back home.

Got home to news that Colorado unborn g-kid is OK. Celebration. Then …

Had baby shower party at our house. Then …

We kept the two g-kids who shared their germs. So …

Each link added more frustration. I wanted to feel filled up. Dang, I didn’t want to feel.

I learned a lot this summer. I continued to exercise right on track even in the heat and humidity… got up and moved my body. I stopped my rising weight and got myself back on track. I did not go and buy allllll my beloved binge foods.

I read:
Most bad food cravings are sensory memory food cravings. It’s not so much the food you crave; it’s the memory, setting, or the pleasure-and-reward feeling behind it.

Change your mind … and the rest will follow.


Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,347
8/20/16 10:13 P

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DJ - do you know of the book "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend? I think it's really good for helping to learn to quietly set boundaries with people, especially family members. I got it on my Kindle from Amazon for about $10 and it was well worth it.

To today's lesson: "and what else, and what else?" I really like that Linda's example says that as we're successful in tracking and interrupting the chain of events, we can stop at the third thing rather than at the tenth. Ever onward, ever upward, ever just a little bit better. Ever just a bit more authentic for me. I'll take it. emoticon



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8/20/16 3:44 P

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DJ, I hope your post will also help break the chain! emoticon

You are so worth taking care of yourself!

C

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DJBTOO's Photo DJBTOO Posts: 3,160
8/20/16 1:05 P

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This came up for me yesterday. It was a 'behavorial issue' with my sister and the way she communicates with me through email. Well, communicates with me period - it's just since I've moved here it's emails. We do not speak on the phone because that is worse. And this is a 'lifetime' thing between us which even with an ocean in the middle of us is sometimes is not enough space - ha!

I won't go into the details but when these things happen between us my normal response is to turn to food and massive eating ... anything ... and it can go for days/weeks. Until I 'manage' to get things smoothed out between us.

Yesterday I turned to my gardening tools ... went out and whacked/cut/trimmed/pulled/weeded the yard trying to expel the negative energy enough so I wouldn't start massive binge eating! It was helping ... but it started raining! It was harder being cooped up inside ... in a motor home no less where the kitchen is only 2 feet away! I did 'overeat' but at least it was on 'my healthy foods' mostly ... not my husband's foods.

So I was successful part of the time/not exactly the rest.

Will try again today - because the 'situation' is still there looming between us and I feel 'less than good' for sure. So, today I am going to take some 'extra care' of myself ... do a manicure, trim my bangs (hmmmm....cutting one's hair when stressed - maybe not the best solution! ha!), meditate, read inspirational stuff ... I could always do some CLEANING or more yardwork if it dries out ... anything but turn to food.

This is a 'chain' that has probably contributed to 100's of excess pounds over my lifetime ... binging, gaining, losing ... because the relationship with my sister has always been a 'touchy' one ... even toxic. And once this 'sort of' thing starts up every thing else seems to follow after making me want to eat MORE - just as Linda described ... the 'chain'. Yesterday it started with my sister ... I did not eat ... but later my husband told me the car part that was delivered (we had been waiting for days for it) was the WRONG one - my patience with our car situation is wearing SO THIN - so that was the next link in the chain ... I did manage to stop myself however.

Today I woke up with all this negative feeling/emotion still 'there' too much ... so will continue working on 'breaking the chain'!!!!!!! With anything BUT FOOD.


dj ~ Big Island Hawaii
Whole-foods, Plant-based, No Sugar/Flour/Snacks, Moderate Exercise, Spiritually Focused/Supported - that's the plan!

"...casting all your cares on Him, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to Wisdom." ~ Buddha
"When diet is wrong medicine is of no use, when diet is correct medicine is of no need." ~Ayurvedic Proverb


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8/20/16 8:58 A

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Day 81: Unhook the chains

This in my mind it is related to the “all or nothing” thinking. “Don’t Start!” is the key for me. When I have a lot of stress I know where the treats are. I fight the pull. I use an "instead". But sometimes it feels like my body is demanding the poor fuel choice. It can be a hard fight. I have not lost the fight in awhile. I worry if I lose the fight it will start a “behavior chain”. If I make a poor fuel choice today (by not tasting, and overloading my plates since it is an "S" day), that the chain will start and it will get long.

If that happens I will ask myself “What happened?” I know why I am upset today. I thought it over (see daily chat thread). I am taking steps to help myself. Am I being good to my soul? Am I treating my body well? If something happens to me (cancer, diabetes, heart issues, or whatever else could happen) did I do all I could do to prevent it? If the chain starts I need to be able to break it. I choose to be “Healthy Chele” and stay strong!

emoticon I will ask myself “And what else?”


C

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8/20/16 8:50 A

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Gill, I hear ya... Sometimes when I mention No S, I wonder if some readers say "Oh, that again?"

emoticon

I loved reading all of the posts below. emoticon (Wish is said choose.)



C

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TWEETYX2's Photo TWEETYX2 Posts: 2,071
8/20/16 8:26 A

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This echoes having a plan in place. I see the value of the No S (which I am relatively new to since I just joined this summer about 6-7 weeks ago) in that it aborts the chain from gaining momentum. Otherwise, without that who knows what can and will happen?

I also think this echoes the association that we give a specific event (as Gill described at the start of a break in routine). It follows that we are celebrating having made it through something really rough and that there is a release of some kind that has taken place. I have been in this position too many times in the past and I recognized it immediately. If I have weathered a particularly tough time once that has eased up I almost invariably have some kind of food to 'celebrate' having made it through that crisis.

Congrats Leslie on making it thus far. I know how you have pushed hard to get to this day. You can and will do this.

I do think that the No S seems to be the best way to circumvent this chain reaction. It is the one that seems most effective. Today, I almost broke my new vow with myself to not eat out for a while as we pay off some new bills and of course I awoke and wanted to eat out so I said let's go for lunch because it is cheaper than the dinner menu and we were both on board for that until my husband said a friend of his wanted him to spot him for an expense that he was short on. I had just gotten a check that would cover that so I said take that and I guess we eat at home today. I caught myself but I will be thinking about those salads I love there for the rest of the day. LOL. So, now to work on the thinking that triggers the behavior.

Pam

TweetyX2 (Pam B.)
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A Look Back: January 4, 2017: 265.4 lbs.
January 1st, 2018: 231.6 lbs.
Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

This is not a race to the finish but a journey to the end.















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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
8/20/16 7:59 A

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Day 81, 100 days Unhook the chains

You come this far in your 100 days,,, Don't stop now. Just do one More Day and Each day after that.

I know I used to have that effect currently don't remember the reasons behind that first food chain of events of eating. But I did know I would start and said to self well you already ruined just finish the pkg or carton of what ever. Stopping for gas used to be I had to get a candy bar or two or three. Eat before getting home as did not want to share.

Since following the 100 Days and working the TOPS exchange I havent had that urge. I try to save some exchanges for those times. Yesterday I felt hunger oh boy did i want something but I did not want to go over on exchanges so i ignored it and got busy writing a letter. it went away and soon it was time for bed.

Stress I do need to find some stress relievers. One was chat with a friend. email them write a letter read a book, and one i really want to get going is go for a walk. I did chat with a friend the other day I was stressed, she helped me calm down and then i was ready to make a healthy meal which i did.

Because I am a Strong healthy happy and becoming fit Leslie I can avoid lots of those situations now. I am not perfect and most likely wont be but I can do the best of my ability with the situation, and timing .

I will stay on plan so I can reach where I want to be. this is a new lifestyle and it is now set and no turning back. I can make the unexpected work in my plan too. Positive affirmations help.

The chains in me are no longer available one day at time with the book and TOPS they been disappearing not to return.
Positivitivy and success stories do wonders.

Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
ASK ME ABOUT IT
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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,749
8/20/16 6:53 A

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Day #81 Unhook the Chains
The behavior chain begins with frustration
which leads to silence,
which leads to me going off alone,
which leads to the "heart hunger" that needs nurtured.
Because with these lessons I've learned that it is "heart hunger"!

I'm still working on an instant response to stop turning to food. Perhaps I will begin a "Heart Hunger" bank and add each time I resist food. Then I'll use the money for a "nurturing" reward!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,583
8/20/16 3:08 A

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Well, I sure hope us No S people don't get too irritating - but I am following in the footsteps of Oolala (see below) and by adopting a behavioural system than enables my brain to effectively 'switch off' from random food being an option (at least Monday to Friday) - I no longer turn to food at the end of a chain of events (99% of the time!)

What HAS happened, both as a result of No S & 100 DWL book, is that I can now notice what's happening - more or less as it is happening. For example, yesterday was the last day of work for me before a 10 day holiday. Now, leaving work used to always be a very strong trigger for me to eat something - all the pent-up frustrations of the day left me wanting to gnash my teeth on something! Yesterday, however, I was aware of that feeling immediately - and I walked through town KNOWING that I would not eat. But I did do two food-related things: firstly I got a 'drink' from Costa - I chose a green tea, mint & lime cooler - which turned out to be a kind of snow-cone drink. It was OK. I knew I wanted (notice I don't use the word 'need'?) a treat of some kind. Secondly, I'd already planned to make myself a pizza & salad for my tea. The pizza was a home-made, healthier version (g-free & vegan) and I really relished it at tea time. I'd planned this meal on my menu because I knew I'd want something a bit 'nice' on Friday night.

In the past - I'd have bought chocolate on my way to the bus after work, maybe picked up a ready-made pizza on my way home (loaded with cheese and stuff), probably grabbed a bag of potato chips for the crunch, and even perhaps something for dessert - and I'd have felt like I 'deserved' it! Now I understand the 'chain of events' that leads to that kind of eating - I can work it out in a better way.

I love the Julia Childs meme - I love to try new recipes!

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 8/20/2016 (03:09)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,263
8/17/16 6:03 P

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emoticon

Edited by: AURA18 at: 12/25/2016 (15:57)
Maribeth MN CT Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u u.nu/httpsunu7lag u.nu/43qj2
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6/7/16 6:42 P

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Most recent time for me, the issue was Id left the kitchen messy that morning, I was pressed for time and hungry, and grabbing snack food was quicker than cleaning the kitchen so I could cook. Sometimes I just go to bed hungry 'cause I can't find the effort to cook. Time management is not my strength. And today at work my evening became just that much more cluttered - good thing there's no junk food in the house.

Rebecca

He drew a circle that shut me out--
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!
-Edwin Markham

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3/21/16 1:44 P

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I am on day 140+ of being on track with food and exercise. I do feel like the chains have been broken ... BUT I have been here before. I am gonna be vigilant to living life and food is fuel to do just that.

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 16,098
3/21/16 11:55 A

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I'm repeating myself, but it's still true. Committing to moderate meals (MOST of the time successful) and no snacking years ago forced me to ignore any chains to other motivations to eat. I may not always take care of myself quite as well as I might if I were analyzing every reason I get urges to eat, but I think the results are still pretty good because I've cut so far back on the eating damages. I will admit here that it's gotten to the point at which when other people say that X went wrong so OF COURSE they ate Y, I think, but what's that got to do with it? I try to gently affirm for them that they can instead remind themselves that they ate awhile ago and will again so eating for fake hunger reasons is going to make the habit and the misery stronger. I hope I come off supportive! Disappointments, hurts, and troubles are very unsatisfying reasons to eat! But it takes practice to really get the lesson because food is so reinforcing all on its own.

Seven years of maintaining a 20% weightloss and counting.
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats.
8 years and counting! nosdiet.com/
*Get to the next meal hungry!
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GOTTALUVPINK's Photo GOTTALUVPINK Posts: 613
3/21/16 10:30 A

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Day 81.... Unhook the chains

This lesson reminds me of the old saying, 'when it rains, it pours.' Seems my days are either really good, or really bad! On the days the chain of bad is long, I admit, I sometimes still turn to my comfort foods to help me escape for just a few minutes. I have to learn to unhook that chain! I tend to dwell on things, so I need to stop the negative talk quickly, before the chain keeps going. Great lesson!!!

Jodie


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,176
3/21/16 9:43 A

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Another eye opening lesson in my new title as a "balanced, fit, determined woman."

Planned but a fun emoticon Saturday led to a non tracking, increased snacking Sunday filled with lots of incorrect self talk and excuses.

Corrected language; "It's NOT OK. I've worked too hard~nip it in the bud~track, stay on plan..."

The chains are in my head. 100DWL has been unlocking them. Positive self talk and follow through is my key. emoticon emoticon

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,749
3/21/16 6:30 A

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Day #81 Unhook the Chains
The behavior chain begins with frustration
which leads to a few comments,
which leads to me going off alone,
which leads to the "heart hunger" that needs nurtured.
Because with these lessons I've learned that it is "heart hunger," I now use nurturing ways to cope instead of food.


Edited by: MAWMAW101 at: 3/21/2016 (06:31)
Phyllis ~~
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20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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IAMBLESSED103's Photo IAMBLESSED103 Posts: 17,859
10/30/15 8:19 P

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Day 21 – Unhook the chains

I'm not sure how to respond to this one. I haven't had this particular problem in months so far. In the past, I can remember times when everything in a day would go wrong and I would immediately go to stuff myself with food... it would be a problem with the plumbing, then a problem with the car, then I'd have to deal with a family issue of some sort, and I'd wind up stuffing myself with some food. Thankfully I haven't had this happen recently.

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10/22/15 8:28 A

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Here is how my day went yesterday:

Woke feeling tired and blah, normal breakfast, hungry mid morning so I snacked on a few walnuts.

Lunch still feeling blah, but had my scheduled lunch of carrots, celery with pbutter and a cup of sugar free jello. no afternoon snack

Work was semi busy, but did get final word on that my boss is just now starting the process to find a replacement for me when I retire, do I think they will have someone in place in 8 weeks? No, they are changing my position description before listing the position and all that has to be approved thru HR before they can list the position, then it has to be listed and the interview process, then the hiring. This will all take longer than the 8 weeks until I retire. Very frustrating since I am the only one who knows how to do my job and I told them back in May I was going to retire in December. NOT MY CIRCUS is what I keep telling myself.

Home, and dinner was some left over roast made into hash with peas on the side and off to the store to get a new furnace filter and more pbutter for my lunches.

Tried to put in new lights for some pendant lights (lower watts), but one got stuck an hour later we ended up taking one pendant apart, it was a replacement my son installed the night before, so I am thinking the whole unit has to go back to the store.

What started out as a tired and blah day ended with being a very exhausted and aggravating day. After walking around walmart for an hour, I was to tired to do any exercise.

Does walking around walmart count as exercise????

Dot
Goal: To do better today.


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GETFITABBY's Photo GETFITABBY Posts: 314
10/21/15 9:01 P

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Maria - I also have not been tracking lately...not a good move on my part either. We shall do better. emoticon

Abby
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My past mistakes do not dictate my future. At any given moment I have the ability to improve and choose a new path for myself. Today I choose to follow my plan and live a healthy lifestyle.


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GETFITABBY's Photo GETFITABBY Posts: 314
10/21/15 5:26 P

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Day 81 - Unhook the chains

Yesterday: Day started out well…You see, I’m not the kind of person that waits for hubby to do everything. My mother, bless her sweet soul could hardly change so much as a light bulb, but not this girl. If there is something that needs doing and I can do it then I’m on it. So I decided to replace the weatherstripping on the front door. But as it turned out what we bought to replace it with didn’t quite work out. So here I was with no weather stripping on the door and probably not going to be able to find what I needed in this small town. As always I turned to prayer, then got ready to go into town to see if I could find anything suitable. But as I got ready to leave the inspiration (answer to prayer) came. I questioned whether or not that would work but experience has taught me to always follow the promptings of the spirit, so I gave it a try. And the fix worked perfectly.
But then I got overwhelmed when I went outside to work. So much more to do and it’s not going to get done this fall. So rather than face it I decided to go to town anyway and buy some spring bulbs to plant. But I didn’t count the spaces where I planned on putting the bulbs so I didn’t know how many I needed, so ended up not getting any. I soon found out that going shopping is not a good idea when feeling overwhelmed. So many things at the store began to tempt me, but guess what, I resisted them all, even the big soft pretzel on my way out of the store. At home I got a little work done in the yard but by the time hubby got home from work I was really feeling down. He brought a package in with him but the skirt I ordered was very disappointing. The fabric was awful and I will have to return it. Just remembered another link in my chain - my right hand has been quite sore from over using it outside this summer, I think mostly from using the rubber mallet on the blocks, anyway, everything I went to do yesterday caused it to hurt. So consequently I couldn’t get done what I wanted to do. Later that night I finally gave in to temptation and had a small bowl of ice cream. I should have just gone to bed because it didn’t change a thing, but I didn’t.
However, before going to sleep I made a mental note of what I was going to accomplish outside the next day and that lifted my spirits. Planning helps everything.
FYI: I now know that I need 9 packages of bulbs. emoticon

Edited by: GETFITABBY at: 10/21/2015 (20:56)
Abby
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My past mistakes do not dictate my future. At any given moment I have the ability to improve and choose a new path for myself. Today I choose to follow my plan and live a healthy lifestyle.


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,176
10/21/15 9:32 A

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Last night a "behavior chain" reared its ugly head. So glad for this lesson to help me think it through.

It boiled down to: "fail to plan, plan to fail'. My chain of events briefly: Made a "healthy": quiche, ate some (3 PM shouldn't have eaten it), did NOT track, went to yoga thinking I wouldn't need much dinner, came home- body decided otherwise, did NOT track, found myself going back for more quiche... frozen grapes, popcorn, almonds in hand and realized it was 7 PM. emoticon

Thank goodness I did not want to break my no eating after 7 streak. I actually put the almonds back in the bag (breakthrough behavior for me) and stopped the mindless eating. Even as I was putting the almonds back I had to laugh at my ridiculous phrases and self talk..."the hole is too small and it will be too hard to get them back in the bag".

I can not remember all the crazy language and excuses I told myself when I was eating. One of them was that I had added so many veggies to the quiche that it was healthy, crustless and it would be hard to track. I know because I told myself that this morning as I tracked. emoticon

Solution: TRACK. I should have tracked before I went to yoga. If I was so hungry when I got home I could have taken a piece of quiche to the computer and tracked then.

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,583
10/21/15 2:05 A

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21st October 2015

Day 21 – Unhook the chains

Note: If you find your way to the beginning of this thread, which was started in 2011, you'll find inspiration from posts made about this activity.

Here are today's suggested activities:

1. In your notebook, draw a behaviour chain of events you experienced today or during a recent week.

2. Keep asking “And what else?” Then add more items to the list until you've exhausted all the possible links in the chain.

3. With each link, write a note about any actions you could have taken to handle the problem instead of letting it build.



Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 9/19/2017 (10:48)
Gill

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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,410
4/20/15 2:53 P

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The Chain. It always goes like this....

Tricky report to write - and I'm 'stuck'.

Go upstairs to my office; stare at the paperwork; no inspiration.

Go back downstairs and into kitchen.

Open cupboard with snacks/biscuits.

Say no and close it. Distract. Distract.

Wash up; wash surfaces; find washing load for the machine.

Continue to linger in the kitchen.

Return to snacks cupboard.

Convince myself that one pack of mini-cheddars won't hurt.

Mini-cheds, a couple of ginger bics, a few squares of dark choc later....

Still stuck on report. Still avoiding going back upstairs to office......

I'm going to give some thought to identify where I can break this pattern!
One successful ploy in the past has been to remove myself from the house and take the work to the Village Coffee shop. I can resist the cakes there but can sit over a Cappuccino or skinny latte and puzzle out the block in the work.

A second would be to get out doors and walk. Sometimes my brain problem-solves when I'm in neutral.

Having chopped fruit and veg available. I eat stacks of the stuff as a normal part of my day. However Fruit never 'does it' if I'm in this kind of mood. There's a distinct need for a quick carb fix, so I can eat an apple and still find myself back 'circling the kitchen'. (Great phrase!)

Snacks are all stowed on the top shelves in the kitchen. Accessible to the long-armed males but necessitating me to actually fetch a stool or chair to reach up. Sometimes that delays me a bit but I'll eat the cooking chocolate or a giant wodge of bread if I'm desperate.

As you can see, this chain is still stretched out on the board for analysis.........

Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

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10/1/14 1:13 P

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Day 81- Unhook the chains

Suggested activities for today
~ In your notebook, draw a behavior chain of events you experienced today or during a recent week.

This is a goooooood lesson for me today. We left the house 6 weeks ago tomorrow. I had all the right food choices packed in the travel trailer along with my determination!

I did not walk 5 times a week as planned.
Gained 5 pounds in 5 weeks.

I started eating desserts with BFF.
I started eating ice cream daily with family.
I walked 2 miles in the Texas heat and humidity one day and got 2 big blisters.
I walked 1 more time and then have set on my "career"
Gained 4.5 pounds in 1 week.

I am up 9.5 pounds total in 6 weeks time. Lesson Learned!!!!!!!!!!

I am not starting over ... I am rededicating myself to my goals!!!!

Cat

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it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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1KINDREDSPIRIT3's Photo 1KINDREDSPIRIT3 Posts: 6,053
9/23/14 7:37 P

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chain today

had to get blood work done but was worried I'd be late for my infusion of antibiotics elsewhere
got the infusion place
went back home
was late and got to new doctor who was supposed to offer new medicine. Instead he wants me to get a 3rd CT scan and would put me on meds 3x a day for 2 weeks (infusion style).

Besides needing to cry, he upset me so much (didn't bother to even check out past CTs or blood work) and needing to find someone else, I didn't feel like eating .

When I did eat it wasn't a lot - so far. Not because I am being good...but because I am beyond down.

cest la vie

barbara

Set yourself up for success and anything is possible. - SP



MKBWNSUGAR's Photo MKBWNSUGAR Posts: 11,280
9/22/14 2:05 P

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I haven't done any binge eating since the time with the bag of nuts and I can't remember what was going on then. I have a lot of stressors going on right now, I have something going on with my heart, will have a nuclear stress test on 10/3 where they take a picture of the heart, just found out the cataract in my right eye is worst so have to go to a retina Dr to find out what they what to do, air conditioner just went out a few weeks ago when it was the hottest it has been, got it repaired, car's check engine light came on yesterday, will get it checked out today, and I worry, worry, worry about finances. Thank God I haven't eaten over all this, even though I've been eating out more but have been making more healthy choices. I have gone over on my fat a couple of days as a result of eating out but stayed w/i my calorie range. I could have eaten the food I prepared.

Edited by: MKBWNSUGAR at: 9/22/2014 (14:06)
Martha
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9/22/14 3:46 A

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Day 81
I posted my journal entry in my Record thread - will just itemize the points here, and in brackets are the actions I could have taken to stop it building - I don't feel I've been able to do this very well - but I've had a go!)

Yesterday I didn't eat dinner, because I wasn't hungry
(this was an OK response to not being hungry - plan for next day)

I made a batch of Scotch Pancakes at tea-time & ate about 10 of them
(I could have put them in freezer bags and only eaten one serving)

I was feeling helplessly overwhelmed with my garden
(I could have made a cup of tea and just sat with this feeling until it cleared)

I had felt annoyed with my neighbours for not replacing the fence they took down
(I could have talked to them about this - asked them what they're going to do)

I have not been keeping up with my Fly Lady 15 mins a day in the garden - so it's got out of hand
(I could have re-committed to my Fly Lady 15 mins a day in the garden - and looked forward to the progress)

I can't afford to get someone to help me in the garden - big stuff like the trees I need help with
(I could ask people if there's anyone who could help me with the trees - last year a young woman pruned my fig tree for £20)

I'd been doing a budget earlier, to see how much I need to save to have enough for next year's big expenses (my son's wedding, and next year's staycation!)
(I need to take this budget seriously - take the action not just a paper exercise)

I have no savings
(I need to save - even if only a small amount)


I am anxious about not having enough money
(I must do a budget every month - and stick to it)

I am scared of having a crisis that I can't deal with because of lack of resources
(I have friends who would support me)

I am anxious about being unsupported financially
(this is a reality - no point being anxious about it)

I feel vulnerable
(I'm no more vulnerable than the next person - we're all vulnerable)



Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
9/8/14 2:28 A

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Day 81- Unhook the chains

Suggested activities for today
~ In your notebook, draw a behavior chain of events you experienced today or during a recent week.


Last week: I forgot to eat breakfast before Y, was starving when we went out to eat and the words "bacon cheeseburger and chili fries" miraculously left my lips!

Then at home figuring Heck I'd just use up my flex points, several chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk, resulted in a half a package of chewy chips ahoy and two glasses of milk before I finally stopped, 9 flex points over my limit for the week. That was on Wednesday I think.

~ Keep asking "And what else?" Then add more items to the list until you've exhausted all the possible links in the chain.

Melancholy around DH's continued downward spiral, received news that his brother and his sister were both in the hospital, frustration/anxiousness to get under 250 (time bound weight loss goals OY!), upset that doctor only lowered my cholesterol meds instead of taking me off of them

~ With each link, write a note about any actions you could have taken to handle the problem instead of letting it build.

1. DH - I cannot control his health. I'm NOT bigger than God! I need to keep reminding myself of that through prayer, praise and Bible study. There is NO problem to big for Him!

2. Brother and Sister In Law- I think this was more about my not being the one to have to tell him and deal with his pain around the matter.

3. Weight- Continue to focus on fitness and health, review my reasons to return to a healthy weight, keep reading Friends With the Scale

4. Meds- I didn't go to medical school at Oxford. My doctor did. I need to trust his judgement on this one and focus on maybe going completely off the cholesterol meds at my next appointment (in six months). At least he halved the dosage.

Overall though, due to all the great things I have learned thus far I was able to stop the madness that night, get right back on more narrow road the next day and post a half pound loss on Saturday.

I will get to and under 250 when my body is ready. I can't control the heartless hunk of metal without a soul. I CAN control what I put in my food and focus on Fuel over Filler, and exercise to ease some of that tension.


WARMSPRINGDAY's Photo WARMSPRINGDAY Posts: 5,073
9/25/11 3:04 P

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I need to work on this. I've had some of these days recently. The down side of a mood swing hits me hard. Much more balanced than I used to be, but . . .

And circling the kitchen - I get that too.

Edited by: WARMSPRINGDAY at: 9/25/2011 (15:05)
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WHATEVER IT TAKES!

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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/19/11 6:59 P

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emoticon Good Idea Margo, that's what we could call a healthy chain, eh? (guess they would work both ways too... hmmm, need to ponder this a bit ;)

How long is your trip? (always too short! :)





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9/19/11 4:41 P

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I love this idea about behavior chains and links, I'm a big believer that everything is somehow connected to everything else so this makes a lot of sense to me that what happened this morning can influence what happens this afternoon, etc.

I'm determined to eat (and drink) well today through Wednesday so I'll be in tip-top shape for the 7 hour flight to London all night Wednesday. We arrive Thursday morning at 9:30 local time but won't get to the hotel until around 11:30; it will be 5 hours later there than our body clock, where it will still be middle of the night when we land/get to the hotel so we'll probably crash in the bed right away but I'm worried I'll be too keyed up to sleep then. We have to get up Friday morning to go to London proper in the early afternoon, meet someone for lunch and me to research with at the British Library. So, I'm hoping I'll be able to rebound with adequate sleep and nutrition before then.

CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/19/11 1:52 P

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emoticon emoticon emoticon good deal! look forward to hearing your progress/adventures :)

emoticon i agree... SP friends have made a profound difference when I felt discouraged. and, I've found pay it forward kind of thing helps as much... it's a wonderful social/support system... but even goes a bit beyond that, because it actually gives me a safe place to talk about food, weight loss & issues...

DBBDANFORD's Photo DBBDANFORD Posts: 188
9/19/11 1:40 P

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Thru SP, the idea of becoming a runner was born. I signed up for the Trick or Treat 5k Trot. I can easily walk the distence so to add challenge, plus get me moving toward my "dream" of becoming a runner...I thought I'd sign in at walk/jog level. I did not know my inner thighs would be screaming at me. My lower back feels like it was used as a punching bag. But another Sparkie sent me some info I should have been doing from day one to prevent this abuse to my body. Today I should have done the training. Instead I just walked the dog, did the stretches and hope tomorrow will be a better day for training. I am excited though and I appreciate the support from other Sparkies. It makes a HUGH difference! God Bless

December Goals

Dec. 6th - 180 - Done!
Dec. 13 - 179
Dec. 20 - 178
Dec. 27-177
Jan. 3 - 176



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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/19/11 12:51 P

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ooh, DB, hope your body is feeling better & rested today... your bath/heating pad sounds lovely & i think would go a long way to relaxing the muscles (instead of tightening up more)! Good luck with your training! R U doing something like couch to 5k? Is there a reason to keep the pace or can you ease up if needed? (I so would like to do some of the charity runs/walks some day! :)

{{{froggie}}} $$ worries = eat, I so get that. and sleepless = more stressed = more eat... vicious cycle there! I think 1 of the hardest to cope b/c the fret level is so high... so (((big hugs))) deep breaths... keep plucking away... i soooo hear you....

JFROGDIVA's Photo JFROGDIVA Posts: 12,020
9/19/11 11:45 A

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This SO applies to me!!!! Yesterday was one of those days!!!! I was "circling the kitchen" constantly!!!! I was really stressed over finances & I ate everything I could get my hands on and NOTHING satisfied my hunger!!!! Well, one good thing, almost no snacky things left in the house!!!! LOL!!!!

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DBBDANFORD's Photo DBBDANFORD Posts: 188
9/18/11 10:04 P

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Hi Ladies,
Interestingly enough, I had one of those "off" days today before this was posted. Now...when I ask myself why....I realize I was soothing myself because my lower back hurts, muscles hurt that I wasn't expecting from my 5k walk/jog training. Today was my REST day but instead of helping, these pains kept getting worse thru the day and I'm a little worried because tomorrow I should be up for another training day only more intense!...so a little sugar might help....nope, lets try popcorn, nope...okay..thinking healthy....hummus and whole grain crackers...I hate an entire meals worth of calories on snacks today! And I still hurt. I should have taken a hot bath, some Alieve and heating pad...settled in with a book. I'm sure that would have been more therapeutic physically and mentally. Live & Learn.

December Goals

Dec. 6th - 180 - Done!
Dec. 13 - 179
Dec. 20 - 178
Dec. 27-177
Jan. 3 - 176



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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/18/11 8:50 P

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circling the kitchen!!! emoticon i get that, I really do!

Thanks Kitt! right, the 1st part of this is why? The change is what to do instead of food! I've always loved your food solves nothing but hunger = so everything else is non-food solutions for non-food stuff ;)

It does help me to pamper myself in the evenings!

KITT52's Photo KITT52 Posts: 99,490
9/18/11 8:44 P

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think of something else you deserve, a hot bath, back rub, nails done,, new CD....
I use to reward myself with little things..
Gary helped too, with hugs, rubs, snuggles, he would make dinner or do something special around the house or take me for a ride....I had to learn to reach out to him instead of food....even now I will say I need some attention or he will ask at times when he see me circling the kitchen when it's not meal time.....

2014 Ruby-lite of the YEAR
In GOD WE TRUST...
MOTIVATION REALLY IS--- TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR CONSCIOUS ACTION
FOOD NEVER SOLVES ANY ISSUE EXCEPT HUNGER.



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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/18/11 8:35 P

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:::nods:::

sometimes it's a real mystery to me why I'm eating. Sometimes obvious, mad about ____, usually = eat for me...

so it can help to ask why, when, where, what is triggering this... is there a pattern, have I seen this before... It's helped me realize all the times I was eating out of habit, like when I realized we always had a treat after a doctors or dentist appointment because mom/grandma always did that in our family, or we stopped on the way home from the beach for ice cream floats.

what I realized also was I had a lot of reasons I was using = eat... I would wake up tired, be late to work, have a rough meeting, forgot lunch, go out to eat... had a bad morning, deserve a treat, eat a big meal...

i think the hardest time is by the evening when I'm tired and my stinking thinking is screaming at me that I deserve the food...

working on changing all that. I like the idea of breaking the chain.


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9/18/11 8:16 P

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most of this is past in my life.....we are at the stage where money is not a huge issue, of course if Gary lost his job we would be sunk....
so i am lucky to not have these issues, I live 1500 miles from my family so if they are in need someone else helps them, I usually never know.....
most of my emotional eating come from with me, my old baggage or my lack of confidence in myself......so I might have it easier than most.....at least that's how I'm feeling today....

who knows what tomorrow will bring....I have some real mood swings some days, and can feel very over whelmed with my life, so for those times, I stopped buying junk food, no M&M's in the house or cookies or canned mixed nuts that have salt or oil on them.....

2014 Ruby-lite of the YEAR
In GOD WE TRUST...
MOTIVATION REALLY IS--- TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR CONSCIOUS ACTION
FOOD NEVER SOLVES ANY ISSUE EXCEPT HUNGER.



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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/18/11 6:58 P

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emoticon Days 81-90 Long-Term Success!


emoticon Day 81, Unhook the chains

It always starts with just one little thing. Maybe your child is sick or your washing machine quits working. When you walk into the kitchen, you're attacked by leftover brownies so you eat several of them. Later on, you feel exhausted from your day as well as frustrated because you overate. So to get it all out of your system, you finish off the evening by eating a large bowl of ice cream.

While these things may seem like a series of random events, they became connected until they wore down your resistance to food. In a "behavior chain" one thing leads to another, increasing your frustration until you throw your hands up in the air and reach for the cookies or the M&M's.

Struggles with emotional eating rarely happen in isolation. If your finances are already stretched, the broken washing machine simply adds another layer to your anxiety. And on days when you're operating by a thread, seeing an open pizza box can be too uch for your fragile willpower.


emoticon Ask, "And what else?"
To examine the links in a behavior chain, start by identifying the exact time you first ate or knew you desperately wanted to eat. Working backward from there, ask yourself, "What happened? What bothered me or made me upset?"

Then consider all of the situations or people that may have prompted your stressful feelings or other emotions. As you identify items along the way, keep asking, "And what else?" to jog your memory about other issues that affected you.


emoticon emoticon emoticon Study the links
After you identify all the links in an eating-related chain of events, look carefully at each one. Determine exactly which places you slipped up and consider what you could have done to prevent them. For example, did you get way too hungry? Were you trying to keep yourself from exploding at your boss or your children? Maybe you skipped your regular lunchtime walk that always helps you manage your stress.

Rather than focus on how much you ate, think about other ways you could have handled the problems in your day. By stopping the sequence at the 3rd event instead of waiting until the 10th one, you may be able to prevent yourself from heading for the cupboard.


emoticon Suggested activities for today
~ In your notebook, draw a behvior chain of events you experienced today or during a recent week.

~ Keep asking "And what else?" Then add more items to the list until you've exhausted all the possible links in the chain.

~ With each link, write a note about any actions you could have taken to handle the problem instead of letting it build.



emoticon link to author's daily comments

theweightlosscafe.com/blog/



emoticon link to our discussion day 80

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x44102208




emoticon link to day 82 :)

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x44170156




Edited by: CD10163029 at: 9/21/2011 (20:34)
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