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THETROUT's Photo THETROUT Posts: 2,016
12/2/19 7:29 P

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Day 83 - No more deprivation

1. Write about “poor me.” Talk about any situations in which you feel deprived, abused or singled out because of your dieting efforts.

I don't feel deprived, abused or singled out because of dieting efforts. I pretty much don't talk about my efforts. I'm not in a lot of social eating situations, and when I am, I try to prepare earlier in the day for them. And I may be doing this all wrong, but if I go to something like a wedding, I eat a piece of cake. The trick is to keep it to one piece.

2. Now reverse the question and ask yourself, “What does my weight deprive me of?” Make a list of all the things you miss out on because of your weight.

(1) Being confident that I can hike somewhat difficult trails. Actually, I'm much more in shape and can do this.
(2) Having healthy cholesterol and A1C (which is not bad but not great).
(3) Energy
(4) Balance

3. Measure this list against the times you might feel deprived around food. Write some notes about how changing your life could help you get some of the things you’re currently missing.

By making consistently good food choices and/or limiting the empty calories, I don't step on the slippery slope of making poor choices afterwards. I don't start going backwards on my goals.

Janet in Georgia

Just using SP suggested calorie/protein/carb range

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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,933
11/30/19 10:41 A

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DAY #83 NO MORE DEPRIVATION

Have you ever felt deprived? Do you struggle to leave that donut sitting there because your inner 2 yr old child is throwing a temper tantrum? Does this ring a bell with you?

Suggested activities for today:

~ in your journal, write about "poor me" and talk about any situations in which you feel deprived, abused, or singled out because of your "dieting" or weight loss efforts.

I don't feel abused or singled out because of my weight loss efforts, but that does not mean I don't feel deprived! Yes, indeed, my inner 2 yr. old child throws tantrums and screams loud and clear! After, all of this time, I continue to struggle with this. I am not good at all at depriving myself. I have rarely had to.

~ Now reverse the question and ask: What does my weight deprive me of?" Make a list of all the things you miss out on because of your weight.

This part is not a real motivator for me because my weight does not deprive me of anything - I miss out on nothing because of my weight.

~ Think of the times you might feel deprived around food, and then decide you'll work on changing your life so you can begin to enjoy things without feeling deprived.

I rewrote that last part to apply more to my circumstances. What I need to accept is this:

Like it or not, to successfully manage your weight, you will have to set some boundaries around your eating... You can go slower, or perhaps a little faster but you have to find a way to eat enough but not too much. Doing that can sometimes make you feel deprived - Accept It And Move On!

Edited by: FUNLOVEN at: 11/30/2019 (10:50)
Sue

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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,974
11/29/19 10:51 P

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Day 83 - No more deprivation

I liked today's examples

If I want to deprive myself of a paycheck, I can spend the day having fun and not going to work - at the beach, on the mountain, at the movies ...

If I want to deprive myself of my marriage, I can go on dates.

Pretty absurd isn't it - we wouldn't make those choices

If I want to deprive myself of a fit and svelte body, I can eat what ever I want whenever I want.

Also, the people who "all" seem to be eating what I want to eat on average aren't trim bodied.



Edited by: JUNEPA at: 11/29/2019 (22:56)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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NOCALORIES's Photo NOCALORIES Posts: 21,944
11/27/19 10:44 P

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Day 83 - No more deprivation

I believe eating with portion control works for me. Depriving myself causes frustration and living unhappy life. I work on eating with not needing the whole thing eating a taste and being grateful for the delicious taste I have experienced.

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,068
11/27/19 8:08 A

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Day 83: No more deprivation

Especially during this time of Thanksgiving and Christmas with so many memories tied to food it is easy to feel deprived when staying on plan, even if it’s a wider road.

Extra weight deprives me of feeling good, of being active and enjoying life to the fullest.

Being comfortable in my clothes, staying medication-free and knowing my health is more important than an extra piece of cake is still my goal.



Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,812
11/27/19 7:38 A

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Day 83 No More Deprivation

I agree with my post last time and my eating plan does not leave me deprived. I know that if I do deprive myself I am more likely to binge or overeat to try not to make myself feel restricted rather than deprived! emoticon emoticon emoticon

I still agree not indulging makes my clothes feel more comfortable, my gut operate better, me sleep more comfortably and overall be happier and healthier. I like the clothes I have and want to keep wearing them and looking good in them.

Edited by: DSJB9999 at: 11/27/2019 (08:23)
Donna
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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,981
1/26/19 10:01 A

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Years ago I did deprive myself. Told myself 'never ever eat that again.' That was short lived and unsuccessful for me.

It has taken a great deal of work but (and I'm still working on it) for me not depriving is better. By that I mean 'total deprivation.' A taste, small slice, couple spoons - at least for me it works and I don't feel left out or deprived.

We're all so different though. I don't allow myself what I know I can't handle very often because I'm also aware that it could lead to 'overload!'

Babs
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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,812
1/26/19 3:47 A

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Day #83 No More Deprivation

I do not ever feel Deprived! My eating plan allows me to eat whatever I like, within reason!

I would be more deprived if I couldn't wear the clothes in my wardrobe and am determined to continue the Healthy Eating so I can continue to look as good as possible. I would be deprived if I were not able to do the exercising I do now and walk fast still and remember that I can do SO MUCH more than I used to be physically able to do when I was larger. Making good food choices is not Deprivation in any way emoticon

Donna
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,705
1/23/19 12:48 P

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Successful weight mgt. - Set boundaries
Less feeings of deprivation, hunger and cravings with narrow guidelines for essential nutrients: 1. vegs, 2. natural fats, 3. protein omega3 fish. List: dark green leaves, cooked cruciferous: cauliflower, cabbage, bok choy, broccoli. Fats to absorb nutrients - ghee, avocado, coconuts, olives (limit fructose, few berries okay).

Limit /avoid antinutrients causing weight gain and digestion problems:
Sugar, artificial sweeteners, all grains (esp. gluten), nuts, seeds, cow dairy, soy, processed foods, additives, dyes & other toxic chemicals. Nightshades: tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, eggplant - peel & de-seed but I feel better avoiding. Legumes pressure cook add few to salads for color and texture. *okay - Brazil nuts, blanched almonds, roasted SFS
emoticon Add flavor: turmeric, cinnamon, basil, thyme, parsley, cilantro, chives & more. Garlic, cayenne & hot peppers may cause inflammation, I can tolerate small amounts. Spices u.nu/wos0 u.nu/svic
Watch saltfatacidheat.com Master 4 elements to master the kitchen.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/26/2019 (09:49)
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CAROLYNINJOY1's Photo CAROLYNINJOY1 Posts: 12,173
5/30/18 1:43 A

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100 Days Challenge, Day 83 No more deprivation

When you feel deprived in regard to food, look at the benefits you’re getting as a result of your actions. If you can’t get past your struggle with feeling deprived, try switching it around by asking yourself, “What does my weight deprive me of?”

100 Days Challenge, Day 83 No more deprivation

Today's assignment

• In the space below, write about “poor me.” Talk about any situations in which you feel deprived, abused or singled out because of your dieting efforts.

I do not experience feeling deprived. I plan for my meals and snacks and have a sufficient amount of food and non-food rewards to stay satisfied.

• Now reverse the question and ask yourself, “What does my weight deprive me of?” Make a list of all the things you miss out on because of your weight.

My weight deprives me the freedom of sitting in chairs with arms. It deprives me of moving freely and walking confidently. It deprives me of self-confidence. I miss being able to ride a carousel. I miss sitting in ANY chair in a public place. I miss crossing my legs at the knee. I miss looking at my reflection with healthy self-pride. I miss feeling sexy and appealing. Thank God my Hubby just loves me as I am.

• Measure this list against the times you might feel deprived around food. Write some notes about how changing your life could help you get some of the things you’re currently missing.

I'm working toward my weight goal and learning to love myself on this journey to improved health. It will take time to reach a place of being no longer morbidly obese, but I'm making the best of learning to love myself with each baby step I take. I must admit that responding to the question what does my weight deprive me of, left me momentarily depressed, even though I've removed 32 pounds. Most of the time I don't think about how far I have to go, but that question stimulated that thought.


Joy is a Choice. Choose joy moment by moment.

When all else fails, persistence prevails.

Injoy:) Carolyn

(Arizona - Mountain Standard Time)

My personal story as a blog:
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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,391
5/27/18 4:20 P

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I agree that there are actual difficulties in being overweight, but I think we tend to limit ourselves sometimes and blame our weight- at least I did. :)



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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,083
5/27/18 4:38 A

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I think it is quite hard to know what weight deprives us off............. in most situations we don't know what we're missing; you can't miss what you've never had.

I have, quite honestly, never been more than about 20lbs overweight, but I used to accept that when I was in Child's Pose in yoga, I couldn't comfortably bend forward over my knees - my belly and boobs got in the way. I didn't think it would ever be any different - I thought most women would have the same problem. But since I have shed those 20lbs, I now settle down comfortably in Child's Pose and am amazed that my head can touch the floor and I can put my chest on my knees without feeling like I'm being suffocated!

I am going to be accompanying someone (as part of my work) to take a ride in a helicopter in July - there is a weight limit. He is very close to the limit. Another woman I support is well over the limit - she was not able to access horse-riding because of her weight.

There are practical limitations which come into force once a body gets over a certain size. Bariatric nursing and home-care is very difficult too.

I know that heavier people do run - but being lighter has given me the freedom to run confidently.

Just felt like sharing these ramblings this morning!
emoticon

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,391
5/26/18 11:26 P

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The feeling of deprivation is like a cancer which metastasizes. It’s not fair! I used to be absolutely plagued by constant feelings of deprivation. I like the way Linda turns the tables to ask us what our weight is depriving us of, but even here, we need to make sure we are thinking clearly. If we think it’s depriving us of cute clothes, have you ever known a person who lost weight and still buys dowdy clothes? I have. Have you ever known anyone who is plump or otherwise overweight who looks fashionable in her clothes? I have. We need to think about whether what we feel is the truth. Is it really not fair that my slim friend can “eat what she wants”? Am I with her 24 hours a day? Uh, no.



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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN Posts: 8,006
5/26/18 2:52 P

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I did feel deprived this morning … when I allowed the scale to "yell" at me. We have been moving around more … not exercising like I wanted to get back into … but moving my body.

And the scaled yelled … NOPE you haven't lost an ounce.

I too enjoy the foods I eat when eating clean. Chocolate in around in the form of cocoa added to peanut butter or yogurt. I don't have a "sweet tooth" so craving sugar is not a huge issue for me.

But crunch, crunch, crunch is. Especially when emotional eating takes over my brain.

So this morning I felt deprived of chowing down to relieve … stress. But hubby in allllll his wisdom and on the edge of mania … said, but your feet and hands are so swollen from water retention. So … whose the crazy one???

I'm not deprived. I'm not deprived.
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Cat

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it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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MINDFUL-C's Photo MINDFUL-C SparkPoints: (209,113)
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5/26/18 11:03 A

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I went around the supermarket today scanning bar codes for various foods. I wanted something "treat" like for my birthday. The amount of points for such a tiny serving floored me. I ended up choosing nothing. I do not like the taste of artificial sweeteners (or what they may do to my body).

This is the perfect lesson for me today and I am feeling it a little bit. I want the chocolate, the fudge... but my body does not want it. Yesterday (totally planned) I had a low fat Nutrigrain waffle, a banana, and 1 tablespoon of Hershey simple 5.... my blood sugar was way too high.

Scale is down as it was planned and was not high salt, but the sugar / carb was way too high to keep my body healthy. That is what I think about when I feel deprived.

Edited by: MINDFUL-C at: 5/26/2018 (11:03)
C

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OLDEROWL's Photo OLDEROWL Posts: 1,915
5/26/18 7:56 A

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No need for me to feel deprived as I love healthy veggies and have ween myself off addition to sugar. Plus my wife loves to cook healthy meals that I love. I also cut down by using delayed gratification. As for "cheesecake" my wife has her own substitute: a crust of ground walnuts, honey and olive oil, and a filling of yogurt, ground almonds, sour cream and Stevia blended together. Mr. Owl

Edited by: OLDEROWL at: 5/26/2018 (08:01)
I'm Bob. I am retired and live in Virginia, USA (EDT) with my wife.Please visit my Blog at www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,705
5/26/18 7:51 A

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Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/23/2019 (12:50)
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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
5/26/18 6:04 A

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Thank you for the Beck quote! I am copying it in my 100 DWL info.

When I really want something ie: cheesecake, I can delay the gratification until it's a special occasion by recording in my magic notebook. I can allow myself a shared piece with Tom, perhaps once a month.

Instead of deprivation, it becomes delayed gratification. I can plan for and look forward to it, and reward myself with something of the best quality, instead of the processed, sugary, junky things I used to eat from the local gas station.



SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,083
1/27/18 3:48 P

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That Beck quote is still important for me too - I wrote it on Day 83 page in my book; it's fundamental for me.

I've been trying to be totally sugar-free from 1st January, and it was starting to get hard. Today, in line with No S which I follow, I made some plain ginger cookies. They turned out like a biscotti (gluten-free, coconut sugar, vegan marg) and are really nice with a cuppa. That small thing was enough for me to take the edge off that feeling of deprivation that was building in me.

Self-pity and feeling deprived are two of my least appealing characteristics - they can get the upper hand very easily if I don't keep on top of it.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 1/27/2018 (15:49)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,812
1/27/18 3:07 P

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Day #83 No More Deprivation

Great ideas Maria, must include this in my 100 DWL file!

I do not ever feel Deprived! My eating plan allows me to eat whatever I like, within reason!
I would be more deprived if I couldn't wear the clothes in my wardrobe and am determined to continue doing this!

Edited by: DSJB9999 at: 1/27/2018 (15:10)
Donna
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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,189
1/27/18 2:48 P

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This Judith Beck quote that Gill shared a while back resonated with me. "This is how all successful weight maintainers eat. I have a choice: I can be over-whelmed by the unfairness, or I can accept that this is what I have to do if I want permanent weight loss."

In the past, feeling deprived and sorry for myself was a real stumbling block but each and every time through the 100 DWL awareness and positive self talk have strengthened my resistance to this negative "poor me" thinking.

Total deprivation has never worked for me so I now occasionally treat myself carefully and with awareness. I have a mental bank account and I ask myself what do I really want and what can I afford to spend? Where can I save. and is it worth it?

Later today I am going out to eat and help celebrate my MiL's 97th Birthday. emoticon We will come home and have cake, pecan pie and ice cream. emoticon I can do this because I have a plan and if I slip up, I will get right back on track because I too have been "Spangled" . emoticon emoticon emoticon


Edited by: GOCALGAL at: 1/27/2018 (15:08)
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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,510
1/27/18 2:05 P

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I was dealt genetic cards with a risk factor, so it is a question of common sense rather than deprivation.

Not that I don't have longings.... That is where Sparking and Spangling have proved a great support. emoticon

Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,981
1/27/18 11:01 A

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i love it. I too have been 'Spangled.'

I cannot deprive myself of foods. It doesn't work for me. I'll just focus on that particular food.

I also love the statement of what I have deprived myself of by being overweight. Oh, where do I begin on that one! Why did I do this to myself? I can tick off lots of reasons, but you know what a lot of them are excuses. There's a new 'Babs' here and she's a lot happier.

What a great team this is. Thank you too, Linda Spangle!

Babs
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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,068
1/27/18 7:57 A

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Day #83 No More Deprivation
My life has now totally caught up to my first entry for this lesson. emoticon
When I first began this journey there were lots of times I felt deprived but I believe it was because other people were pointing out what they were having and I was deciding not to.

Now my tastes have changed, people in my life are used to my choices, and I know I can have anything, just not have it all in one day!
No more "poor me", it is "healthy, strong me" instead. I’ve definitely been “Spangled”!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
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CGH-ARTYPANTS's Photo CGH-ARTYPANTS Posts: 1,310
1/27/18 7:35 A

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Way to go Linda! I love your point about considering what you are deprived of by being overweight. That sure puts things in perspective. When we "deprive" ourselves of sweets or fast food it is just a temporary thing. My excess weight is depriving me of long range health. There is no comparison. I will remember this from now on.
Of course, I do use the two bite rule now and then to give myself treats. We have church meals every Wednesday night. I help serve the children. If they serve something I should not eat I bring something to have instead. This past Wednesday I ate what was prepared. I measured out a cup of chicken and rice and a half cup of green beans. I brought small salad in case I needed it. It ended up being a snack later. Then there was the German chocolate cake. It sure looked good. I knew what my calorie range was and there was room for a two bite portion. I had the little treat and did not feel deprived....and I stayed within my calorie budget.
I had to add something from my devotional reading today. "You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you can ever make. " This is true with finances as well as health. Our little "sacrifices" now will add up to the big investment of health. It is worth it.

Edited by: CGH-ARTYPANTS at: 1/27/2018 (08:07)
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CTUPTON's Photo CTUPTON SparkPoints: (204,572)
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9/24/17 3:39 A

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No more deprivation.

Uh... I think I need a little more deprivation. LOL. I still am indulging in too much food. Yesterday granola.

Not to make light of this, but I need to get comfortable with some discomfort.
I need to find some non food things to comfort myself. Maybe my new porch rocker will help. I broke the budget and bought one with big cushions. I sat there yesterday on the balcony and dozed off. It was very comfy for me! emoticon

chris

I have to be diligent about caring for myself. 100 DAYS OF WEIGHT LOSS is a great way for me to keep focused. Day 1 is July 1, 2017. Build habits to produce success. Most of these habits I have at least tried before but did not sustain. First habit: delay eating by using a timer.
LONG TERM GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight.Evening Eating Sabotage Myself Frustration ..Help! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,933
9/22/17 9:04 A

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Doing Day 83 (even though we are on 84) just to keep my motivation going. I happened upon a Sparker who appears to embrace "balance" just like I do. Even though I don't practice this concept very well with my eating due to feelings of guilt it frequently produces in me, I am going to work harder on achieving a balance so I no longer feel deprived; even if it means losing a bit slower. I feel like "poor me" several times a week and this just leads me to end up having these mini-binges which keeps my weight standing still. I'm eager to see if this approach will work for me.

Sue

Michigan - EST

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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,705
9/21/17 10:41 A

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Thanks Gill, I followed ETL plan (mostly raw vegan) Spring '17, till leaky gut from lectins (nutrients not absorbing and toxins leaking into bloodstream). Switched to Plant Paradox by Dr. Gundry youtube.com/watch?v=JJl8QLSDUwY List: u.nu/bz06

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/26/2019 (09:54)
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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,933
9/21/17 10:16 A

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I had another emotional melt down on Tuesday after just having one on Saturday! This is very discouraging to me and has thrown me for a real loop! But, although I missed being here yesterday, I am not a quitter. Yesterday was a bit better in many ways and today I am feeling even stronger and determined again. I read yesterday's lesson and all of your comments (where is everyone?). Day 81 & 82 are very similar. I will read today's lesson later on.

I do have to mention that when I do a lesson I underline the statements/points that really resonate with me. I have tried to do 100 DWL a few times in the past, but have never managed to complete the 100 days. Each time I have stopped at various levels. The very first time I joined in it was all new to me and I was very excited and motivated, but the last day that had any underlining on the pages was Day 81. NOT THIS TIME! This time I am determined to make it to the last day.


Sue

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,083
5/24/17 4:06 A

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Maribeth - as I'm sure you know, the theory is that if your body feels well-nourished, you won't crave too much - you will be satisfied. I did experience this for myself when I spent a year eating raw vegan foods. It was incredible how little I needed really, and yet was full of energy. I wasn't able to sustain it partly because it's not socially easy, and partly because it is a bit expensive. But I'm glad I had that experience. My body let go of weight really effortlessly - no hunger.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 5/24/2017 (04:06)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,705
5/22/17 11:06 A

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Less sugar/starch cravings by eating more vegetables. Read "Eat to Live" nutritarian (May 14th, '17). Already taste buds prefer nutritious foods, naturally low carb. Still need to work on my tendency to overeat when tired/stressed and too much screen time. This will take time, forgiveness and the ability to move forward. I'm learningnby repeating 100 DWL hellonutritarian.com/wp-content/uplo
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Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/26/2019 (09:59)
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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,981
5/22/17 10:59 A

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Wanda, I hope you had a fun day at the park!

No deprivation. I agree.

So many times I would deprive myself with the mindset - can't have it. If I eat that I'll 'gain weight.' If I eat that '. . . . . "

I have found that Deprivation (which would be elimination for me) does not work. I crave whatever I'm depriving myself of. Then I gorge. I have learned. That's the important thing. I'm learning and 'improving.' A real work in progress!

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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,559
5/22/17 10:09 A

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Day 83, no more deprivation

I Concur!!!...........with all your posts!

I'm so glad that I have finally learned that hubs treats are off limits and I need to keep only healthy snacks for myself. It is harder to binge when you have to get in the car and drive to get something decadent.

I also seldom feel deprived now, it is so good to feel well that deprivation usually doesn't often come into my thoughts. Like Phyllis, I can get to the "why" now if I am tempted. As I posted earlier, I did have a struggle last week; it was more about letting down on my walking and portions that were too large than it was about unhealthy food. Come to think of it though, those larger portions and unplanned healthy snacks may have come from a feeling of deprivation....I think they just came from fatigue though. I'll have to be thinking about that this week.

Thanks Donna, for the great synopsis of the lesson and our posts!

Day 83 exercise - I'm walking to the park and then I am going to crawl and climb around on all the playground equipment. Some of the kids look at me funny but.........hey, it is fun! Hopefully there won't be too many kids there when I go. I also like that they have swings big enough for adults and I can pump my legs hard and go as high as the swing will let me.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,068
5/22/17 6:58 A

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Day #83 No More Deprivation

Because I am finally living my life more focused on what I can do not on what I can't do, there are not many thoughts of deprivation.
Now it's all about choices and I eat healthy, nutritious food with occasional treats.
emoticon Once I stopped focusing on "being on a diet" and now just focus on "healthy living", the thoughts of deprivation are gone along with pounds.

Edited by: MAWMAW101 at: 5/22/2017 (07:04)
Phyllis ~~
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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
5/22/17 6:32 A

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Day 82: Last-straw eating
After one more thing happens on an already stressful day, it's easy to exclaim, "That was the last straw!" and then head for the kitchen to dive into the bag of cookies. Although it may seem like it was the last straw that prompted you to give in and eat, you probably started to weaken a lot earlier.
By asking "and what else?" You are able to identify a series of events and issues that contributed to your eating.
The "last straw" started earlier
It started before you gave in., think about the stress of the day.
Watch for events that hook together, putting you at risk for "last-straw eating." For example, your mom calls, your kitchen's a mess, your husband is working late again, the washing machine makes a bad noise, etc.
Think of ways you can prevent last-straw eating. Plan at least one thing that will protect you from eating once you reach that frustration point.
In your notebook, write down one action you can always reach for on days when a series of events wears you down. Maybe even a few deep breaths can stop the behavior chain from sending you to the refrigerator
My goal is to remember "one day" or "one party" does not need to turn into a drive into the ditch!
Developing an emergency plan/kit and having a "safe place" are helpful.emergency piece of fruit means I have something I can snack on when I need to crunch/munch away some stress.
Do what you can and if nothing then leave it on the back burner.
- Leslie
I'm becoming aware the more I do this the easier it is becoming to face the feeling(s)...and sometimes the quicker they are subsiding as well. A lot of times it is 'just' moments ... whereas at the start of the feeling it sometimes feels like it's going to go on all day. Mind trying to play tricks!
- dj
You can’t control all the events in your life, but you can control how you perceive them.
- Chele
...gonna try to change my Perceptions as I can be hard on myself all too often!
- Donna
The one thing that is really different this time for me is that since I've learned to stop and think about what I'm about to grab it is easier to work through the "why".
- Phyllis
"Most bad food cravings are sensory memory food cravings. It’s not so much the food you crave; it’s the memory, setting, or the pleasure-and-reward feeling behind it. "
- Cat
" I laughed out loud when I realized what my technique would be if I get to "last straw" eating. I am going to look at the food and tell myself that it's going to TASTE like straw! "
skirunner

Leslie Knudson
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MINDFUL-C's Photo MINDFUL-C SparkPoints: (209,113)
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5/22/17 5:08 A

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Gill, I love your post on this topic. It really spoke to me. Thank you so much for sharing.

This really is an awesome lesson!

I still have moments where I feel deprived. I am a work in progress.

Edited by: MINDFUL-C at: 5/22/2017 (05:09)
C

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MINDFUL-C's Photo MINDFUL-C SparkPoints: (209,113)
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1/1/17 11:33 A

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And Donna, I STILL believe in you!
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C

Live in the moment

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,083
1/1/17 3:00 A

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I just noticed that I haven't posted anything about this day - although I have a red star on this page in the book - which means it's one that's important for me to work on, and I've also written in that Judith Beck quote (thank you to whoever first shared it - I refer to it a lot!)

"I have a choice: I can be over-whelmed by the unfairness, or I can accept that this is what I have to do if I want permanent weight loss."

When I'm feeling strong and positive, this totally energizes me with determination. When I feel weak and negative I kick against it - it's like I don't hear the compassionate, wise, guidance - I hear a critical kind of "Suck it up, lollipop!" then I feel angry, and still eat the chocolates!

Still - these lessons have been a mirror for me; I now face the reality that it's ME that's standing in my way - and that my tendency to get depressed, or to feel deprived and hard-done by is something I need to be constantly on my guard against. Depression is an awful thing....... chemical or behavioural, mild or severe.... it's energy-sapping - a dark demon sitting whispering in your ear telling you that it's not worth even trying.

I think in this New Year, the thing I am going to take out of this Day's lesson is to get myself a notebook and start journaling again. This is my most important lesson in the whole book I think!



Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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DJBTOO's Photo DJBTOO Posts: 3,160
12/31/16 7:56 P

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No feelings or thoughts of deprivation ... just enjoying the freedom of having choices of good, healthy real foods that are delicious while simultaneously healing/keeping my body healthier ... no trace of deprivation in that!

Thanks for the support here in 2016 ... looking forward to 2017 and wishing everyone a 'slightly' early Happy New Year!

dj ~ Big Island Hawaii
Whole-foods, Plant-based, No Sugar/Flour/Snacks, Moderate Exercise, Spiritually Focused/Supported - that's the plan!

"...casting all your cares on Him, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to Wisdom." ~ Buddha
"When diet is wrong medicine is of no use, when diet is correct medicine is of no need." ~Ayurvedic Proverb


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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,559
12/31/16 6:54 P

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Maybe that is your word of the 2017, Donna..........BELIEVE
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Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,812
12/31/16 5:50 P

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Reading my last post I recognise it's true my eating plan has No More Deprivation! I need to read my book plan again and remind myself to be sensible, the Christmas indulgence is over! FISKER believed in me last time, so I need to believe in myself again emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,559
12/31/16 3:37 P

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No "poor me thinking" from me anymore either, Maria! I am so much more content now that I have learned what was behind much of my poor eating. I am so grateful for the lessons in this book that have emphasized the choices I can make in order to be more healthy.

When I was "poor me" I didn't even think I had any choice except to be overweight and unhealthy because I really didn't think I had the ability to make the necessary changes. Linda Spangle, and this team, has taught me that it doesn't have to happen all at once, that small changes get results, and that I am stronger than I ever thought.

Susan, I love your 7 dwarves only I think my 7th dwarf would be "Clear". Working with this team I have found clarity in setting goals, clarity in my self-perception, clarity in my decision-making. I have also used these lessons to help me "clear" the decks and declutter my home and to see a "clear" way to achieving my healthy goals. In fact I've been thinking of choosing a word of the year for 2017....I think it will be "clarity".

I realize that when I was deep in denial, deep in self-disgust because of my inability to regain my health and my healthy weight, I simply could not look "clearly" at any part of the problem.
Thanks, friends! Your posts, the book, and your support have really helped me.





Edited by: LIVINTODAY at: 12/31/2016 (15:38)
Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,189
12/31/16 2:53 P

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This remains a key lesson and one of my top ten. "Poor me thinking" is very challenging for me to overcome, especially at this time of the year. I know from experience that deprivation is even worse. Trying to find the balance and setting those boundaries can be a real struggle at times.

I am so glad for the reminders in this lesson and all of your great posts listing so many wonderful benefits versus, as Linda writes, "the brief pleasure of eating a piece of chocolate cake."

Gill, I love the Beck quote and have it posted on my vision board. I do have a choice and I must make the best ones I can to lose/maintain weight loss. emoticon emoticon

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

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But ourselves." unknown

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VIBRANT4LIFE's Photo VIBRANT4LIFE Posts: 2,312
12/31/16 9:48 A

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Day 83 - No more deprivation

The more I think about the effects of certain foods on my body the less I feel deprived by not choosing to eat those foods. My poor food choices usually come from tiredness not from feeling deprived.

Cheryl
Central Florida
EST
"The way get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” -Walt Disney
"What you allow is what will continue." Unknown
"The secret of getting ahead is getting started." Mark Twain


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
12/31/16 8:38 A

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Day 83 No More Deprivation

Nothing I wrote first time really applies.

I don't feel deprived. If I want something I will find a way to have it that is healthy and a reasonable portion. I might employ my magic notebook and delay the gratification, or I might just have two bites of it.

I have found that many times a craving has nothing to do with hunger and thus needs to be addressed without food.

Am I truly hungry, or am I Angry, Stressed, Lonely, Tired or Thirsty. Hmm, one more and I'd have the 7 dwarves of eating! Hmmmm, maybe I'll go with SATISFIED as the Happiest Dwarf of all?



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12/31/16 8:04 A

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Day 83 No more deprivation

Still off my healthier plan but...

I still love this chapter! This really helped me (and will every time I feel it) with the “I deserve” feeling! Deprivation is NOT a horrible thing. Depriving myself of certain foods, or taking a small portion instead of a larger one helps my body. If I eat more, and make poor choices I am depriving myself of good health!

What does my weight deprive me of? Good health, and stronger self esteem!

Party today and back on track tomorrow! But I will not go "crazy" today! Singing party tonight!!!

Happy New Year!!!!


C

Live in the moment

I follow the WW Blue Plan
Lifetime WW Member as of 3/8/2020
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Mindful Mindset (Living, Eating, Exercise, & More)
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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
12/31/16 6:22 A

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Day 83, 100 days No more deprivation

"This is how all successful weight maintainers eat. I have a choice: I can be over-whelmed by the unfairness, or I can accept that this is what I have to do if I want permanent weight loss."

I don't deprive myself I can have most anything as long as I account for it and also practice portion control.Eating healthy has given me the gift of health, improved my self-esteem, made me confident that I have value and I CAN

What my weight deprive me was smaller clothes, riding in a ride and fitting into it, airplane having extra room to be comfortable in and the seatbelt has room to spare. Not feeling winded climbing the stairs. Bending over not uncomfortable. I remember my belly jiggling as I ran and my thighs rubbing together. Being overweight has deprive me of many things and got me teased, bullied, beat up and shy and withdrawn

I can eat the cake just in moderation if I choose to without it ruining my journey to my goal weight. I am creating a new lifestyle a new way of eating and cake or candy isn't going to stop me.

am NOT depriving myself of anything except empty calories, poor nutritional choices and health conditions down the line. When I choose whole foods, plant-based foods, real food or choose a beverage when no 'good' food is available and say - as Linda suggests - 'not now, maybe later'

What is important My healthy way of life or the moment of enjoying the food. the healthy lifestyle lasts longer than that taste of cake or candy.

living my life more focused on what I can do, not on what I can't do, there are not many thoughts of deprivation. It is about choices I can choose healthy or unhealthy. I can choose to live my lifestyle with choices that fit into my plan.

The season of eating unhealthy is over. We all can make 2017 the healthy year. one day at a time.

Nope, I am not deprived. I am fulfilled and satisfied and getting healthier every choice I make. do I made unhealthy ones Yes but I made the choice so then I choose to get right back to my plan. Old habits die hard But getting back to my lifestyle change will get me closer when I need and want to be. to maintain my healthy weight. Now working on a healthy fitness plan.

Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,068
12/31/16 6:22 A

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Day #83 No More Deprivation
Because I am finally living my life more focused on what I can do not on what I can't do, there are not many thoughts of deprivation.
Now it's all about choices and I eat healthy, nutritious food with occasional treats.

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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TWEETYX2's Photo TWEETYX2 Posts: 2,071
12/31/16 4:53 A

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The way I view no more deprivation now is that nothing is really off limits to me any more in terms of what I choose to eat except how much and how often.

I likened this to my goal of getting myself out of debt. I feel the two go hand in hand for me. When I am doing well with my food I am also usually doing well with money.

It is important to have some kind of boundaries. Sometimes those boundaries are dictated from external sources and circumstances. At some point, you take over more and more control and pretty soon you are calling the shots. As I have gone a long with paying off a huge mountain of debt I have discovered that I can live within a more narrow confine than when I first started. I also think the same goes for my eating behaviors.

I don't binge as often as I used to. I have learned to enjoy my food but I have set limits on that as well. I don't feel every day should be a Red Letter Day but Red Letter Days do exist in my life (tonight being one of those) and I do plan on enjoying them and then tomorrow it is 'business as usual'.

As a result of this balance that I am now experiencing with my food intake I have balanced my weight. It has remained the same during the holidays this year with a small decrease. I feel more calm than I used to and I expect that as I work through this book in the future it will get easier and easier to accommodate a more narrow road and not feel the confines of it as I might have in the past. That is progress.

In fact I don't even like the word deprivation because that sounds so punishing. Instead, I would like to say I am in control and I choose to decline that particular food at this particular time. Now, that is freedom of choice.

Pam

TweetyX2 (Pam B.)
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A Look Back: January 4, 2017: 265.4 lbs.
January 1st, 2018: 231.6 lbs.
Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

This is not a race to the finish but a journey to the end.















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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,705
12/30/16 4:02 P

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emoticon

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/23/2019 (12:49)
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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,391
11/30/16 6:57 P

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"...(S)et boundaries around your eating." I like that. I can have anything if there are boundaries around it. I am so very happy I no longer feel deprived. The dramatic response I had to the lesson first time through put the bow on a lot of work I had already done, but it's stuck with me. I am grateful. emoticon



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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,559
8/30/16 9:58 A

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I would love to have that satisfaction meter, too! I still need to work on that; I use the excuse that we need more protein as we get older but there are other, healthier ways to get it, than to eat three drumsticks. Well, it is better than eating three larger pieces.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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JUSTME9898's Photo JUSTME9898 Posts: 3,499
8/30/16 12:57 A

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I am no longer going to deprive myself of doing things I want to do. I want to travel, I want to hike, I want to ride horseback, I want to run in the rain. The only way I can do these things is by learning healthy habits that become instinctual. When we have chicken my SIL eats a single leg. That is what satisfies him. I want to have the same food satisfaction meter as he has.

Edited by: JUSTME9898 at: 8/31/2016 (19:11)
goal is to be able to walk again
Linda
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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,559
8/23/16 12:32 P

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SKIRUNNER - Great visual there! Yep, Linda can get us to the core of the issue!

Cat, both knees at once = a very rough recovery! You are a tough cookie! Glad it turned out so well!

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,391
8/23/16 12:43 A

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I like this chapter too; I am so impressed by the way Linda deftly uses and moves around the word 'deprivation' in all of it's (to me) different meanings and connotations. When I saw the title I immediately thought of all the numerous times deprivation had been a mean, sharp, almost disabling emotion for me when I couldn't have something. Then as I started reading, the meaning became more neutral and more explanatory than emotional. Then, as Linda switched the discussion to what our weight has deprived us of, my brain almost reeled. The mental picture was of one of those big circle things inside of which a circus performer goes round and round - but it was me inside the circle, and I'd always been upside down! I pictured myself rolling over gently emoticon until I was right side up, then laying down the circle and stepping out of it with a big smile on my face!



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8/22/16 11:09 P

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Depriving yourself is a sure-fire way to succumb to bad food cravings later on. And we’ve all heard that it is extremely difficult to end a bad habit if you don’t replace it with something else.

In the past I have felt very deprived and punished for being over weight and “trying” to diet to get allllll the weight off. Everyone else could do what ever they wanted and poor pitiful me couldn’t eat anything that tasted good.

This past year there was a mind shift that I could eat anything I wanted as long as I planned for it … and life became liberating. There is no deprivation … sometimes a delay … so I can plan for needful necessities. It no longer bothers me to be with others who are eating whatever they want coz I am eating what I want … clean foods that make me feel good.

My weight and physical UNfitness … has deprived me of sooooooo many hours of fun and participation with what everyone else was doing. Sitting on the sidelines coz of my wrecked knees and 130+ extra pounds on top of them made me feel unworthy, unloved, unimportant, isolated and not “normal” … what ever that is.

Now hubby and I walk together, hike 7+ miles and live life to our fullest.

DJ – I love your visual … I do NOT want to move out of this 'home' (my body) early … I want to give 'this' home the best foundation it can have …

WE are building a strong foundation of good habits, changed attitudes and a fantastic support group.

Wanda – I got both knees replaced at the same time. Best decision ever!!!!

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. ~ Albert Einstein


Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,559
8/22/16 8:15 P

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No More Deprivation!

This lesson has resonated with me each time through the book and I feel its influence more strongly with each reading.

I am no longer deprived of health, self-esteem, lack of confidence, or the ability to be active.

Eating healthy the past few years has given me the gift of health, improved my self-esteem, made me confident that I have value and I CAN, and brought me to a place where I have been walking 5 miles a day all summer. (Before SparkPeople and 100 Days, I could barely put weight on my right leg because my knee was so ravaged by arthritis. I lost some weight and talked myself into accepting a knee replacement, best decision I could have made. I now live with two strong knees and no pain!)

Wanda

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Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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The only deprivation that I want to practice these days is depriving myself of eating for any other reason than my body needs fuel or sometimes flavor. Taking care of my emotions in a non-food way guarantees that I won't have to feel deprived in anything that chose to eat because I have removed the one factor that caused it all to begin with.

Pam

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Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

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I love this chapter too Chele ... in fact, it may be my favorite one!

I do not feel deprived now. BEFORE I DEPRIVED myself of having 'current' good health by decades of over and over choosing to eat poor food choices when in my face instead of making better choice(s). NOW ... I AM REWARDING myself with good choices and reversing my health conditions and hopefully preventing future ones by using the lessons I've learned here, other inspiration and simply ... loving myself/being good to myself for a change.

I've often read here and at other sources how developing these good habits we are working on and changing our thinking toward food is like building a solid foundation to a house. A quote I love:

"What you choose to eat is what makes the cells in your body! With every bite you take you are literally creating the ONE home you'll live in throughout your entire life. Don't you want it to be the very, very best and most beautiful it can possibly be?" ~Patty Knutsen

When I pass up the cake, chips, candy, fried foods, processed crackers, cereals and other foods - I am NOT depriving myself of anything except empty calories, poor nutritional choices and health conditions down the line. When I choose whole foods, plant-based foods, real food or choose a beverage when no 'good' food is available and say - as Linda suggests - 'not now, maybe later' - I am rewarding myself/taking care of myself/loving myself ... building a good foundation for my home(body) - giving my cells in my body something GOOD to work with so THEY can be the best they can be.

I've moved around a lot in my life - have had many homes ...some I had to move from before I wanted to or was ready to. I do NOT want to move out of this 'home' (my body) early because I felt deprived all the time and indulged in cake, ice cream, cookies and candy, etc. I want to give 'this' home the best foundation it can have and choose lovingly and wisely...and live a long, happy, healthy life! There is not a bit of 'deprivation' in that!




dj ~ Big Island Hawaii
Whole-foods, Plant-based, No Sugar/Flour/Snacks, Moderate Exercise, Spiritually Focused/Supported - that's the plan!

"...casting all your cares on Him, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to Wisdom." ~ Buddha
"When diet is wrong medicine is of no use, when diet is correct medicine is of no need." ~Ayurvedic Proverb


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emoticon Maribeth, sounds like you are making great choices to help yourself!
emoticon Donna, your positive attitude is awesome!
emoticon Leslie, yep the sweets will still be there! Awesome goals!
emoticon Phyllis, I agree focusing on what I can do, and not what I can’t, or have trouble doing helps a lot!


Day 83: No more deprivation

I love this chapter! This really helped me (and will every time I feel it) with the “I deserve” feeling! Deprivation is NOT a horrible thing. Depriving myself of certain foods, or taking a small portion instead of a larger one helps me be “Healthy Chele”! If I eat more, and make poor choices I am depriving myself of good health!

I love this thinking! My husband laughed when I read him the part about depriving him of the ability of going on dates. He said that he is thrilled that he no longer has to go on dates to find the right one.

I ate less than I usually would at my friend’s house yesterday. I also limited myself to one small glass of wine. I did not feel deprived. I read this chapter yesterday when I saw the title. I figured it would help me with the dinner out. It did!

What does my weight deprive me of? Good health, and stronger self esteem!


C

Live in the moment

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,068
8/22/16 8:31 A

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Day #83 No More Deprivation
This second time through this book I realize how much has changed in my daily life. emoticon
Because I am finally living my life more focused on what I can do, not on what I can't do, there are not many thoughts of deprivation.
Now it's all about choices and I can choose to be healthy and happy!
There is a time and place for treats and a time and place for saying "no thanks"! emoticon

Phyllis ~~
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20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
8/22/16 7:19 A

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Day 83, 100 days No more deprivation

Going to a birthday party it depends whose ii is. if one of my sons I may allow it but small piece and accountable. But others easy to resist. At work they had cake for someone leaving it dont even interest me.


Do I deprive myself of certain foods. Yes but I really don't consider it depriving I either save it for another time when I can account for it. Some things don't interest me any more either.

I love your quote hope you don't mind me using it.
"This is how all successful weight maintainers eat. I have a choice: I can be over-whelmed by the unfairness, or I can accept that this is what I have to do if I want permanent weight loss."

Being overweight has deprive me of many things and got me teased, bullied, beat up and shy and withdrawn.

I have deprive myself of a healthy version of me fitting into rides, horse back riding , enjoying fitness activities, and being active with my kids. being assertive and good self esteem and so many reasons to not have the cake.

I also can eat the cake just in modation if I choose to without it ruining my journey to my goal weight. I am creating a new lifestyle a new way of eating and cake or candy isn't going to stop me. My desires for sweets have been diminishing as the days being going by.

What is important My healthy way of life or the moment of enjoying the food. the healthy lifestyle lasts longer than that taste of cake or candy.

I am sticking to the healthy lifestyle the sweets will be around when i decised to treat myself

Edited by: TOPS2KOPSVILLE at: 8/22/2016 (07:19)
Leslie Knudson
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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,812
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As I said before my eating plan is all about making healthy choices and not depriving myself of anything emoticon emoticon and my Slimming World eating plan emoticon

Edited by: DSJB9999 at: 8/24/2016 (13:26)
Donna
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emoticon

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/23/2019 (12:48)
Maribeth MN CT Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u u.nu/httpsunu7lag u.nu/43qj2
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7/12/16 7:45 A

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Day 83 - No More Deprivation

The pity party is over ... I am changing my head and am stopping the deprivation of caring of caring for myself. Food does not fix things .. foods are making things worse.

The will of God will not take you where the grace of God will not protect you.


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I was listening to a researcher who looked at past Biggest Lower contestants and why they find it so hard to keep their weight down, and he discovered that they have metabolisms running HUNDREDS of calories per day slower that people of the same weight, body fat percentage, age, and activity level who were never overweight. I think if I had to keep my caloric intake to 1400 calories a day I might feel deprived.

But for me, with a 2000-2200 calorie a day diet and a real love of good whole food, I don't think I have much cause to feel deprived. I have to make sure I've taken the time to prepare the foods that are both good for my body AND that I crave so hunger won't send me to the processed foods that leave me feeling blech-y and cause me to gain weight. But I get to eat foods I love day in and day out.

At a birthday party, I would never deprive myself of the cake and ice cream - I just eat a small enough amount to enjoy it without regretting it. I think celebration foods SHOULD be eaten at celebrations! Likewise, I'm privileged to have a job I look forward to, so I don't have choose between earning money and spending my time how I want. And I'm not tempted to date men who aren't the man I'm committed to 'cause the man I'm with really is my favorite person to be with. I really think I lead a charmed life - the things that feel good to me really are the things that ARE good for me.

Rebecca

He drew a circle that shut me out--
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!
-Edwin Markham

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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,812
3/25/16 6:56 A

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I Never think poor me when I am following my eating plan, it doesn't stop me doing or eating anything, it's all about choices.
I choose to be healthy rather than less so!

Donna
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 16,721
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Jodie, I think you are being very realistic, not morbid. I may have said it before, but I heard on one of those exercise infomercials a guy tell about how a friend of his at his gym asked him one day, "How would you feel about another man raising your kids with your wife?", implying such an obese man had a chance of dying young. It was the exact right thing for the man to hear. He got serious about his eating and exercise and turned his life around. Not to say that always works by any means, but it's at least worth considering.

My motivation these days is to try to keep my mental faculties as I age. If I keep eating some things regularly, I increase my chances for dementia. Foods that I used to have more often have dropped way down on the totem pole because they suddenly seem like they would deprive me of clarity!

Even before this, I used to concentrate on how eating too much or certain foods would either deprive me of a peppy feeling or of other foods that I actually found more satisfying. I was almost never motivated by trying to fit into certain clothes or anything like that. I tried to have clothes I liked and thought I looked good in the whole way!

P.S. I rarely go to a birthday celebration without having SOME cake and ice cream. But I don't attend many.

Seven years of maintaining a 20% weightloss and counting.
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats.
8 years and counting! nosdiet.com/
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YAY Cat! You are certainly on the right track now! Keep pushing.
emoticon

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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I had a meeting with myself about what choices I have made in life that got me in such a mess. I have made many, many choices that did not get me to where I wanted to be.

I have been deprived of a happy, healthy, active life. That was my choice.

Now I am making choices that are getting me to where I want to be. Full of life.

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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Great insight, Jodie! You are absolutely right. When I started to see how poor health would affect our lifestyle, our families, our budget, and our spirit; I knew I had to turn around and go the other way.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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GOTTALUVPINK's Photo GOTTALUVPINK Posts: 613
3/23/16 3:53 P

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Day 83.... No More Deprivation

Lots of great words of wisdom from you ladies!! I think focusing on what I am depriving myself of by being overweight is very powerful. I look at my grandchildren often and am very saddened by the thought of dying (sorry, a bit morbid!) while they are young. I want to be in their lives for a very long time!!



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3/23/16 3:38 P

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Wonderful quote, Gill. Thanks for bringing it to us.

Phyllis, it is great that you have been determined to get healthier to the point that your friends and family have fully accepted your way of eating. The path you are on is important and I think they can see the good results you have achieved.

So often friends and family become saboteurs because they feel like your efforts to be healthy are a silent criticism of them. Sometimes they think they just aren't going to be able to enjoy the time they spend with you any more. Yes, we can feel deprived when we embark on this journey but it really isn't that long before we find more satisfying, healthy foods.

Maria, good point, "What's important?" - my health, that is what. How different my attitude towards food became when the issue became health instead of vanity.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,068
3/23/16 12:52 P

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Thanks Gill, that is a great quote. Maria you said it perfectly. emoticon

When I first began this journey there were lots of times I felt deprived but I believe it was because other people were pointing out what they were having and I was deciding not to.
Now my tastes have changed, people in my life are used to my choices, and I know I can have anything, just not have it all in one day!
No more "poor me", it is "healthy, strong me" instead. emoticon

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,189
3/23/16 10:02 A

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Gill, thanks for the powerful Beck quote reminder. In the past, feeling deprived and sorry for myself was a real stumbling block and each time through the 100DWL awareness and positive self talk have strengthened my resistance to "poor me" thinking.

I now ask myself what's important? A brief moment of junk foods that are addictive, unhealthy...or being healthy and taking control of my choices, setting that good example for family? The list of benefits is long and much more rewarding. emoticon emoticon

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
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But ourselves." unknown

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In my copy of the book, I have written this quote from Judith Beck, and I thought it might be helpful to share it again today.

"This is how all successful weight maintainers eat. I have a choice: I can be over-whelmed by the unfairness, or I can accept that this is what I have to do if I want permanent weight loss."
emoticon

I find that SO powerful - it's like "stop feeling sorry for yourself!" but in a very assertive way.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

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IAMBLESSED103's Photo IAMBLESSED103 Posts: 18,049
10/30/15 9:06 P

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Day 83 – No more deprivation

Poor me!
Because I am determined to lose this weight and be healthy I cannot eat anything I want or as much as I want.
Because I am determined, I have to pass on desserts and fattening foods most of the time.
Because I am determined to be healthy I cannot spend hours reading and watching TV.
Because I am determined to get healthy and strong, I cannot neglect exercise and activity.

Being overweight - obese actually - has deprived me of:

feeling healthy and well
the ability to buy clothes I like that look well on me
feeling confident in my appearance
the ability to go on more active outings with friends
being obese has deprived me of courteous treatment by clothing store clerks who made snide remarks about my weight.

My excess weight has caused frustration, anxiety, pain and depression, and low self-esteem. However, I am happy and proud now of all I have accomplished since this past May. That feels good! I don't ever want to go back to my "before."



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10/26/15 7:47 A

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This is a great idea for turning around those deprivation thoughts. I think of this a lot, sad to say. Poor me, can't eat whatever I fancy, poor me can't seem to crave the right things to eat, poor me, how come it seems somedays like everyone can eat whatever they want.

But eating healthy is the best way for me, and it's how I will reach my goals. My weight has deprived me of the confidence in being strong, of my ability to run without being out of breath, it's deprived me of being proud of myself when looking at photos taken. I'll be jotting down some notes in my notebook for this one.

~Liz
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,083
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This quote from Judith Beck which I have written on the Day 83 page in my 100 Days of Weight Loss book sort of sums it all up for me. I think Linda Spangle says similar things - but it's like, the way 'other people eat' isn't anything to envy - if I ate like that I would be very heavy! Accepting that being mindful of my diet and weight - it's for life - that can feel hard sometimes, but mostly I am OK with it.

“This is how all successful weight maintainers eat.
I have a choice: I can be over-whelmed by the unfairness,
or I can accept that this is what I have to do if I want permanent weight loss.”

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,559
10/25/15 3:08 A

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Poor me!
Because I am determined to be healthy I cannot eat everything and anything I desire.
Because I am determined to be healthy I occasionally have to pass on desserts and rich foods.
Because I am determined to be healthy I cannot spend hours in my easy chair, watching TV and snacking.
Dieting is such a drag.......Poor Me!!

On the other hand:
Being overweight has deprived me of:
the ability to think positive while standing in front of a dressing room mirror
the confidence of knowing that my body will be strong under physical stress
the joy of roughhousing with my grandchildren
the exhilaration of experiencing a good run; my knee replacement has ended that forever

And...that is probably just the short list. My excess weight has caused anguish, pain, frustration, self-hatred, disgust, etc. I am proud and thankful for what I have accomplished in the past 8 years but I wish I had started eating regularly and exercising every day 40 years sooner. Now I remind myself every day that there is no time like the present!

Edited by: LIVINTODAY at: 10/25/2015 (03:09)
Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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For me right now especially since I am still getting used to this Gluten free life, I still feel the pangs of deprivation for some of my favorite foods, like pizza, french toast, a hoagie or a sub is out of the question. Then with my diabetes, it has always been if I want a regular treat (I do not like the sugar free stuff much of the time). I can indulge, but only a few bits while all around me people are having full out servings.

My list of what my excess weight has deprived me of over time:

Feeling healthy
Being able to walk and not get breathless
Feeling and looking good in my clothes
Being happy about me.
Ability to take a compliment with out self deprecating
Feeling attractive



Dot
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10/24/15 2:25 A

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Day 83 - No more deprivation

I love this lesson. What a great concept and it makes a lot of sense to switch your thinking around. I don’t feel deprived too often because if there's a special occasion coming up I plan ahead. But once in awhile I feel a bit deprived when I want something that I know I shouldn’t have… like a really good thick milkshake on a super hot day, or when I’ve been working hard all day and I’m too tired to fix a proper meal. I have two choices, either go ahead and fix it or have hubby take me out for dinner, which usually isn’t a healthy choice. It’s time like that that I tend to feel deprived.
My list of what my excess weight has deprived me of over time:
A feeling of well being
Being healthy
Doing fun activities
Being able to walk and not get out of breath
Looking good in my clothes
A feeling of self worth/self respect and being happy with who I am. (I know you aren’t suppose to let this bother you just because you are overweight but I can’t deny that I used to let it affect how I felt about myself).

I have not sacrificed very much all considering what I am gaining in return.


Abby
Pacific Time Zone

My past mistakes do not dictate my future. At any given moment I have the ability to improve and choose a new path for myself. Today I choose to follow my plan and live a healthy lifestyle.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,083
10/22/15 3:19 P

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23rd October 2015

Day 23 – No more deprivation

Note: If you find your way to the beginning of this thread, which was started in 2011, you'll find inspiration from posts made about this activity. I have also posted a link to the blog on Linda's website, which has all the info from the book (and leads to other good reads if you're so inclined!)

Here are today's suggested activities:

1. In your journal, write about “poor me”. Talk about any situations in which you feel deprived, abused, or singled out because of your dieting efforts.

2. Now reverse the question and ask: “What does my weight deprive me of?” Make a list of all the things you miss out on because of your weight.

3. Measure this list against the times you might feel deprived around food, and then decide you'll work on changing your life so you can begin to enjoy things you're currently missing.

This is the link to Linda's 2012 blog for Day 83on her website
dietcoachcafeblog.com/day-83-
its-not-f
air-that-you-can-eat/


And here's a quote from Judith Beck which I have written on the Day 83 page in my 100 Days of Weight Loss book:-

“This is how all successful weight maintainers eat.
I have a choice: I can be over-whelmed by the unfairness,
or I can accept that this is what I have to do if I want permanent weight loss.”

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,083
4/25/15 5:37 A

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Gosh Di, that's a cautionary tale - and one that will help me stick to my low-fat way of eating!
emoticon

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,510
4/25/15 3:53 A

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I guess I don't feel deprived as such because I have good medical reasons for being careful about what I eat. The big leveller for me was my Father's premature death at 43. Slim, seemed fit, died walking, but the autopsy showed silent killers within in terms of cholesterol and internal fat storage.

With better awareness and medical knowledge, I have tried to stay ahead of the game re: cholesterol levels but the sugars/fatty liver discovery was a new one last year. So I don't feel deprived because the choices are be careful or be ill.

This is not to say that I don't miss ice cream!!

Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

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1KINDREDSPIRIT3's Photo 1KINDREDSPIRIT3 Posts: 6,053
10/11/14 7:23 P

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Keep up the great work!

Set yourself up for success and anything is possible. - SP



MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN Posts: 8,006
10/10/14 9:15 P

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Day 83 No More Deprivation

I have tried very hard not to deprive myself ... this leads to the "poor me" and "dieter's mentality" of I ate something not "good" for me soooooo let's eat more, more and more.

I plan foods into my plan so I don't feel deprived.

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it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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1KINDREDSPIRIT3's Photo 1KINDREDSPIRIT3 Posts: 6,053
9/25/14 2:30 P

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I am in total agreement with you guys!

My plan doesn't deprive me - I just have to keep to those lower limits on my calories.

cheers
barbara

Set yourself up for success and anything is possible. - SP



MKBWNSUGAR's Photo MKBWNSUGAR Posts: 11,566
9/24/14 12:46 P

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Like you MYTURNNOW2013, my food plan allows me to have anything I want in moderation. I used to feel deprived when I couldn't have something I saw at an outing with friends, but now it's about choices and for today I choose to be healthy.

Edited by: MKBWNSUGAR at: 9/24/2014 (12:47)
Martha
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,083
9/24/14 12:45 P

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Day 83

The number of people participating in the thread seems to drop drastically at this point?!

I often feel deprived or jealous re food or money: articles on Spark have talked about how the two are linked together - and that strategies used for overcoming emotional eating, can be applied to finances by just changing the word from 'food' to 'money' - this is where I'm at right now - I might even work through the 100 Days book again, and substitute the word 'money' for 'food'!

OK - I feel deprived mainly when people are eating cake, cookies, ice-cream, candies, chocolate, chips, pizza, pasties and when I perceive that they are getting 'enjoyment' from doing this - often with other people. For instance, I feel most deprived when I see a group of people round a table eating and drinking together - this emotional response is not just about the food -it's about what happens around the food, and about having the money to afford to do it. So I guess I could feel deprived if I saw them all enjoying salads together emoticon
Another time when I feel deprived is when I'm travelling, train, long car journey etc - when I want to buy things from the buffet, service station etc - again, this is probably to do with being around people who are doing these things.

I'm not very overweight - so my body size doesn't really stop me doing anything in reality. But it does affect how I feel about myself.

So - I balance out feeling confident in my body and clothes, feeling good, strong, happy against:

- limiting the times when I eat cakes and desserts to special occasions
- I can enjoy a coffee in a cafe without eating anything
- I can eat pizza, chips, pasties, ice-creams - but not too much and not too often
- when I go shopping I only buy what's on my list and I can make healthier alternatives for any tempting things I see and think I want
- I only buy one bread roll at any one time otherwise I feel bloated and yuk
- when I travel I will carry with me healthy fun foods in safe quantities


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
9/10/14 1:42 A

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Day 83 No More Deprivation

~ in your journal, write about "poor me" and talk about any situations in which you feel deprived, abused, or singled out because of your "dieting" or weight loss efforts.

I don't feel any food deprivation as the plan I am on is quite flexible and does allow for just about anything in reasonably controlled portions. I do occasionally have to say I feel abused or singled out when my husband makes constant remarks about how fast I eat. I actually don't eat fast, he takes a nap between bites! He has dementia and vocal chord damage, so in his world it is perfectly normal to take one hour and fifteen minutes to eat two scrambled eggs, sausage and hash browns. I have learned to make a joke out of it when I finish my salad in 30-45 minutes.

~ Now reverse the question and ask: What does my weight deprive me of?" Make a lit of all the things you miss out on because of your weight.

I'm happy to say this list is getting shorter.

- Being able to use the step ladder - about 3 pounds from now :)
-Being under the weight limit for tandem skydiving--something I've always wanted to try

~ Measure this list against the times you might feel deprived around food, and then decide you'll work on changing your life so you can begin to enjoy things you're currently missing.

This would have been an excellent exercise for me last year, before getting restarted on my journey. I think it is an eye opener that many could benefit from.

WARMSPRINGDAY's Photo WARMSPRINGDAY Posts: 5,073
10/2/11 8:11 A

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emoticon

I am a finisher!

WHATEVER IT TAKES!

I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be. - Joyce Myers

I have a choice!

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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/28/11 9:27 A

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emoticon Warm! our inner 2 yr old childs must be twins! LOL ;)

methinks u r doing gr8... u r consistently trying, learning & improving! *yay* u :)

WARMSPRINGDAY's Photo WARMSPRINGDAY Posts: 5,073
9/25/11 3:12 P

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Yep, sometimes I feel deprived. I get it, I really do.

And sometimes, not just because of what I see other people eating, but sometimes I have this twisted mentality that life seems hard and I deserve a break, so I can eat the things I shouldn't. Twisted, I know, and childish, but . . .

Sigh! Keep on trying!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I am a finisher!

WHATEVER IT TAKES!

I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be. - Joyce Myers

I have a choice!

Co-Leader of Team "Lost a Loved One"
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17111


I am doing a virtual walk across America
exercise.lbl.gov


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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/22/11 8:55 P

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this really does ring a bell with me, and I've struggled with rebellious eating for years. I'm really working on this :)

Edited by: CD10163029 at: 9/25/2011 (20:06)
CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/21/11 9:00 P

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Don't give up what you want most in life for what you want most at this moment. ~ unknown

and a gr8 SparkPeople Secret of Success from SparkFriend CalifSheWolf :)

www.sparkpeople.com/secrets.asp?tip=
10
04_dont_give_up_what_you_want_most



Have you ever felt deprived? Do you struggle to leave that donut sitting there because your inner 2 yr old child is throwing a temper tantrum? Does this chapter ring a bell with you? What have you tried in the past? Did this chapter help Spark a renewed desire to try again or a new strategy to try? Please share your thoughts here :)


emoticon Day 83 No more Deprivation! emoticon

Suppose you host a birthday party where everyone else has ice cream and cake while you just drink black coffee. You eally want to stay on your diet, but watching everyone eat makes you feel deprived and left out. So after your guests have gone home, you sneak into the kitchen and eat 3 pieces of leftover cake. After all, you deserve to have a little fun too, don't you?

Do you sometimes give in and eat because you feel "deprived?"

Stop and thing about the whole concept of deprivation. Is it really such a horrible thing? And does it always have to push you off your "diet path" or your "weight loss efforts."

Like it or not, to successfully manage your weight, you will have to set some boundaries around your eating... You can go slower, or perhaps a little faster but you have to find a way to eat enough but not too much. Doing that can sometimes make you feel deprived when it means turning down a piece of cake.

So here's a few things to ponder...



emoticon Life includes deprivation
In your daily life, deprivatoin happens everywhere. In fact, you deprive yourself of a lot of things because you'd rather have the "benefits" you get as a result. For example, because you prefer getting a paycheck, you sacrifice spending your days skiing or playing at the beach. And if you value keeping your marriage, you probably deprive yourself of going on dates.

In the same way, depriving yourself of an extra dessert might mean that you're able to successfully manage your weight. When you feel deprived in regard to food, look at the benefits you're getting as a result of your actions. Then decide what's more important -- losing weight or experiencing the brief pleasure of eating that extra piece of chocolate cake.



emoticon Weight deprives you, too.
If you can't get past your struggle with feeling deprived, try switching it around by asking: "What does my weight deprive me of?" Then make a list of the things you're missing out on by being overweight.

For example, are there life experiences or adventures that you generally have to skip? Is your size preventing you from achieving some of your dreams and goals? What about the toll on your confidence and your self-esteem? Rather than swelling on how deprived you feel because you can't have a piece of chocolate cake, work on improving your life and your health so you can enjoy all the things you're missing.



emoticon Suggested activities for today :)
~ in your journal, write about "poor me" and talk about any situations in which you feel deprived, abused, or singled out because of your "dieting" or weight loss efforts.

~ Now reverse the question and ask: What does my weight deprive me of?" Make a lit of all the things you miss out on because of your weight.

~ Measure this list against the times you might feel deprived around food, and then decide you'll work on changing your life so you can begin to enjoy things you're currently missing.



emoticon link to author's daily comments

theweightlosscafe.com/blog/



emoticon link to our discussion day 82

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x44170156




emoticon link to day 84 :)

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x44225468


Edited by: CD10163029 at: 9/25/2011 (20:07)
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