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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,601
7/26/19 5:29 A

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Lesson 13: Who Owns Your Weight?
*List 2 or 3 things that you learned from this chapter.
I learned that nobody needs to know what I weigh, how much I’ve lost or how much I want to lose except me. (And the medical folks!)

*What are some ways you can relate to the clients or examples in this chapter?
Like Julia, there are certain close people in my life who make comments that are not helpful to me.
Luckily I’ve never been with someone like Anne’s husband. I’m sure my reaction would be to eat in secret.

*What will you do differently after reading this chapter?
At first it seemed rude to ignore and just not answer when asked about my weight but for me it was the only way to stick to the plan. After a while those people who knew I wasn’t going to answer stopped asking.
Even now, after all the lessons and all the work, the hardest part for me is accepting compliments without saying “but I still want to lose more” or “yesterday I didn’t do so well” or a host of other excuses to make them feel better about their weight

From the book, a perfect answer.
When someone gives you the gift of a compliment, respond by exclaiming, "Thank you for saying that. I appreciate it so much. You really made my day!"

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,169
7/26/19 4:23 A

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emoticon In your notebook, list 2 or 3 things that you learned from this chapter.

I've done this book a few times. This time around, today, the biggest message for me is that other people DON'T CARE ABOUT MY WEIGHT - they're just weight-obsessed and are comparing me with other people and themselves. So, if they don't really CARE about how much I weigh (and why would they unless they're a health professional or a weight-loss counsellor) why are they even asking me? Do people ask me how many hours I slept last night, or what my blood sugar levels are? No. Why do people even ask how much we weigh?

emoticon What are some ways you can relate to the clients or examples in this chapter?

I can relate to all the example actually. I've had Julia's experience of being told I'm getting too thin. And although I didn't have a partner controlling my food, I did have a long-term relationship where my partner would comment on my size and wanted me to squeeze into smaller, tighter clothes.

emoticon What will you do differently as a result of reading this chapter?

I'll carry on being polite - which I learnt from this book initially! Depending who it is, I'll sometimes just say "I'm about 8 stone 4lbs at the moment, I think" or I'll say "I'm not sure!"

Also, when people ask me, I'll consider "why are they asking me?" and answer appropriately.


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,649
10/14/18 10:45 A

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Day #13 Who Owns Your Weight?

My first response was - Well, I do! But that isn't all there is to it. My G.F. conversations seem to simply revolve around the idea that we want to lose weight and how we are failing to stick to any kind of discipline that gets us to our goals. We rarely share our numbers, but to confess, I am secretly interested to know what they all weigh so that I can compare myself to them. How ridiculous! I am not them. I am ME! And I need to focus on what works for me and how to achieve my own goals. Even knowing this I wonder in silence about their numbers. I can spot a dieter a mile away by their behavior around food. I have a friend who is similar to my height and build and I am frequently comparing how I think I look to how she looks to me (are we the same? is that how I look? has she gained/lost weight?). Boy, is my insecurity showing!

I was shocked at Linda's example of Anne and how her DH belittled her! It really brought to the forefront for me how I nag DH for his poor food choices because I want him to embrace a healthier life style. And then there was the incident this past Monday when he commented on how many cupcakes I had eaten. He never says anything about what I eat and it is a good think because this really made me angry! Instead of stopping like a kid caught with my fingers in the candy jar I grabbed that cupcake and defiantly ate it! ! ! I now see clearly that trying to control and shame someone into losing weight will never work.

When I read the email from Gill about this lesson she mentioned a point that I had to go and reread because it struck such a note with me and I had completely skipped it on the first read through:

Don't get caught up in the trap of confessing every diet slip-up. If you eat a candy bar instead of your apple, you don't have to announce it to the world. Confession doesn't usually improve your weight-loss efforts!

I may not confess to the world, but I confess the negative to myself instead of focusing on all of the positive efforts I am making. In my head it is that trap of "bad girl" vs "good girl". When I confess my "bad" eating to others I think I am looking for acceptance and approval from an outside source instead of from within myself where it really needs to be.

Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,139
10/13/18 7:47 P

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I could relate to Julia in this chapter who was frustrated at having to fend off questions and advice about her weight loss journey. I've encountered that in the past back when I used to share that I was trying to lose weight before I learned I'm more comfortable keeping it private.

There were those that wanted to second guess the way I was going about it, or share in detail what had worked for them. Also people like my mother and MIL were either way too interested in monitoring what I was choosing to eat, OR in sabotaging me. And from others there was the "you're getting too thin!" "You'll look older if you lose too much in your face!"

On the other hand, during the times I had put on a few pounds and was absolutely NOT talking about watching what I ate..."have you weighed yourself lately?" and once, "Well dear, (from MIL) I'm not going to cut you a piece of birthday cake because I know you're always watching your weight and I don't want to tempt you." That one about the birthday cake really ticked me off as it was in front of everyone at a family birthday get together. MIL was not trying to be nice or helpful -- I felt she was getting a zinger in. All these kinds of comments really got on my nerves because I feel that I'm able to decide what I'm going to -- or not going to eat. I own my own weight! I don't need any help from concerned family or friends. I don't want to feel as if I'm a laboratory specimen under constant scrutiny. My weight is MY business!

I don't mind accepting compliments, but don't really like the kind where the compliment involves how good I look now vs. how I looked then. Not that anyone says that in so many words, but that's the take away. I much prefer someone to say I'm looking good or healthy or fit without going into how I must have lost 20 pounds. I'm gracious even so....but when I compliment someone who's obviously lost I never make it about weight, just about how "strong and fit" they're looking -- or something along those lines.

But SparkPeople friends are different! emoticon

Paula -- Waco, TX area
CST zone

SP 4 Cornerstones
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,087
10/13/18 10:53 A

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emoticon Gloria emoticon
I was thinking about my appointment next month. Reading Eat Rich, Live Long by Ivor Cummings and Jeffery Gerber before I go. Working hard to find the right foods and supplements, then document in record. I'll ask about Nutrient Panel - measures vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. Also, bone density and lean body mass test, I had a DXA 6 years ago and it's due. Lean body mass % will determine protein needs and other information.
(Dual-Energy X-ray Absorptiometry -DXA)
emoticon I'm happy we have Sparks to talk about our weight and dietary needs. I'm able to find information faster online vs WW meetings or doctor visits.
emoticon Linda, Food is not a Moral Issue and confession doesn't usually improve my weight-loss efforts. I will keep this in mind next time weight topic comes up.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 10/14/2018 (10:35)
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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,326
10/13/18 9:36 A

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There are only a few people who I have shared my weight. Looking at friends I would think ......well they probably weigh what I do. Well, when one friend shared I realized that I weighed 20 pounds more than her......I was shocked! Her reply was.....you hide your weight well! emoticon

At weight watchers, they tell you what your goal weight should be. I found that depressing.....I like to think of weight loss in 5 pound increments.

I have my six month check up on Wednesday.........now those numbers are important! emoticon

emoticon

One day at a time!


Gloria.
EST Pennsylvania
2017 Spring 5% Challenge Tiger Monarchs
Biggest Loser Summer Challenge Golden Phoenix
Biggest Loser Fall Challenge Golden Phoenix 2017


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
10/13/18 5:10 A

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On past weight loss journeys I would share the number, which at times was a significant total. That led to people asking about the #, how much now? etc which could become demotivating.

I have found a better way to say "I've gone from a 4x to a (whatever size) " as it's a broader range.

The first time I went through this book I ended with I'd like a condo in Maui. How life changes. Now I'd love 10 acres up North and some chickens!

SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,169
10/13/18 4:49 A

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emoticon In your notebook, list 2 or 3 things that you learned from this chapter.

1) I don't have to tell people how much I weigh
2) I don't have to confess my slip-ups

emoticon What are some ways you can relate to the clients or examples in this chapter?

I can relate to what 'Julia' said about people saying she was getting too thin. I had that from a best friend and it made me feel really defensive (and disappointed!)

I can, if I choose to, talk about my ACTIONS towards healthy eating and exercise rather than talking about my weight numbers.

emoticon What will you do differently as a result of reading this chapter?

When people say things like "Oh, you're slim enough - you don't have to worry."
Use phrases like "yes, it's not easy! I have to work at it!"

If they ask me what I weigh, be vague, eg "I'm not sure, just over 8 stone I think" To be fair, they can tell that by looking at me, so I don't know why they're asking! I could just say "I'm not sure exactly"

At the moment, this isn't an issue for me. When I was larger, I think I'd have been more embarrassed to be asked. Also, if I put on some weight, I think I'd be more self-conscious about it. My main problem is people thinking (a) that I'm an angel and (b) I don't have to worry about what I eat. Both of which are untrue!!!!

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 10/13/2018 (05:50)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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AMYBELLES's Photo AMYBELLES Posts: 13,667
10/21/17 2:20 P

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I don't share my weight with anyone. On SP I just share my pounds lost on my ticker.

From this chapter, I like this part: "Don't get caught in the trap of confessing every diet slip-up. Instead, focus on owning your actions as well as your goals. If you eat a candy bar instead of your apple, you don't have to announce it to the world.Food is not a moral issue and confession doesn't usually improve your weight-loss efforts.

Thankfully, I don't have anyone in my life who asks me about my weight loss goals, but if that ever happens, I will remember the responses Linda suggested that you say.

I identified with being uncomfortable with compliments. I would often minimize it by saying thanks, but I still have a lot to lose. In the future, I will try to graciously accept the compliment and tell him/her how much I appreciate it!

**~Amy~**
Playful Polar Bears
January A&I BSG Challenge Team

~The Villages, Florida
EST



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CATLOVER110's Photo CATLOVER110 Posts: 27,724
10/21/17 7:30 A

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I don't discuss my weight anywhere other than SparkPeople. I don't think it's anybody's business but my own.

Hope--AL--Central time

A&I February BSG Challenge - Healthy Hearts

"No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch."

"Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." - R. Collier

"Just do it" - Nike


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,601
10/21/17 6:42 A

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Chapter #13 Who Owns Your Weight?
Over the last year I have learned to own my numbers and rarely share them because few people who pass through my life have a reason to know them.
I am happy to share with my Spark friends!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,169
10/21/17 4:12 A

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I have come a long way in the past 3 years - since working through Linda's books!

Now I not only abstain from weight discussions, but actually am very proud of my achievements, so if/when people say I am slim, or "you don't have to worry, there's nothing of you!" or, my all-time worst comment "oh, you are so good!" I now say, "yes! I work very hard at it".

I just leave it there - it is not easy to maintain a healthy weight if, like me, you can easily put it back on by eating that slice of cake every time it's offered.

I've become more assertive about my dietary and exercise choices. I no longer feel like I have to apologize for being healthy!



Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 10/21/2017 (04:13)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,087
10/20/17 11:35 A

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I own and protect my plan and goals. Somtimes I get distracted (off-track) by comments, e.g. "Are you still dieting?" I change the subject or briefly say... I joined an online fitness program with weekly challenges. Sharing on Spark helps me reach goals vs sharing with others hinders progress. Here is a Sparks Motivator u.nu/qu1c
emoticon Don't get caught in the trap of confessing every diet slip-up. If I eat sweets instead of veggies, I don't have to announce it to the world. Food is not a Moral Issue and confession doesn't usually improve your weight-loss efforts.—Linda Spangle

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” —George Herbert

Edited by: AURA18 at: 10/13/2018 (11:00)
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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
2/22/17 8:08 A

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Lesson 13: Who Owns Your Weight?
YOU own your weight. In fact, you own everything about it, including your current scale number, your goal weight, how many pounds you've lost, and how much you still want to lose.
When someone tries to control you by taking charge of your weight or your numbers, take action immediately. Either challenge the person who makes the comment or walk away and protect yourself from this type of response.
As you claim ownership of your weight, you'll discover you don't have to give away information you'd prefer to keep to yourself. This includes every aspect of your weight-loss plan including how you're handling it and how well it's working. And unless you choose to share it, treat your weight number as a private detail in your life.
, you need to take charge of your weight. Stop assuming you are required to answer questions about your weight numbers or your goals. Instead, learn how to respond in ways that protect your ownership.
Remember there's a lot more to your weight-loss picture than a number on your scale. Rather than only sharing your recent weight, let people know about all the ways you are making progress. Describe how you are handling food triggers or ways that you're motivating yourself to exercise every day.
Don't get caught in the trap of confessing every diet slip-up. Instead, focus on owning your actions as well as your goals
Food is not a moral issue and confession doesn't usually improve your weight-loss efforts.
you don't need to explain or defend your actions. You own your weight, so it's your decision whether or not to tell people your numbers. If you prefer to keep the details to yourself, figure out ways to dodge the questions instead of sharing personal information
When someone gives you the gift of a compliment, respond by exclaiming, "Thank you for saying that. I appreciate it so much. You really made my day!"
graciously accept the compliment, thank the person, and move on
list 2 or 3 things that you learned from this chapter.
. If complimented, I will just be gracious and not minimize my accomplishments and state that I have a ways to go.
What will you do differently as a result of reading this chapter? Just be gracious when complimented about my weight. Don't share numbers and plan unless you want to.
I share it with family and tops of how much I lost not the number on scale.

Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
ASK ME ABOUT IT
www.tops.org
Central time


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,169
2/14/17 2:43 A

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I have also learned a lot from this Chapter. I didn't realise how damaging it was to keep sharing information about my weight. Now I never say anything about it - and when other people start talking about weight, I don't join in. If someone asks me directly I'll just say "I'm about 8.2, 8.3, I think......." I am proud of the fact that I am maintaining this weight, but I don't add any more explanation. If people say "oh, you're slim" - I don't say anything..... (I might make an excuse to go off and do something else, or change the subject etc). It's been very freeing to stop feeling that I have to engage in long conversations about weight!!!!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,297
2/13/17 6:53 P

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Another chapter to highlight. Again, Linda gently shows us ways to be strong. I just felt more confident as I read this chapter!



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TWEETYX2's Photo TWEETYX2 Posts: 2,071
2/13/17 2:56 P

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I have really warmed to this book since Chapter 9. I have been reading a head a bit and I was eager to see what others were deriving from these past two chapters. Like others here I have had different stages in my life depending on my weight. I have often found the only people who notice and then comment on whether my weight has changed (or not) are those who are also dealing with their own weights. Obviously, it is on their mind and so that is what they pick up on.

I have had to learn though how to re-phrase many of my off hand comments about what I may or may not order when dining out (usually I am in a jovial mood and that is when my self-deprecating sense of humor prevails) but I am really going to keep my choices and decisions to myself from now on. I have only had one time when I actually had a waitress (at Ruby Tuesday--one and only time I ate there) who make overt suggestions of what I should be eating. That floored me!

I also need to learn to QUIT having a running commentary to my husband about what I should or shouldn't have eaten. He wants me to succeed but it also makes him noticeably nervous (this past week when I was craving carbs because of having a cold is a primary example because that was all I wanted to eat and I was having him bring me food on the way home from work). However, he picked up my anxiety over the past years and so I blame myself for imparting that to him. He mirrors my own anxiety. So, I have to show him I can have more confidence in where I am going with all of this.

So, basically it is I who need to establish better boundaries period and leave my business to myself. I have some work to do here in this area. A great chapter!

Pam

Edited by: TWEETYX2 at: 2/13/2017 (14:58)
TweetyX2 (Pam B.)
Time Zone: EST
Atlanta, Georgia [USA]

A Look Back: January 4, 2017: 265.4 lbs.
January 1st, 2018: 231.6 lbs.
Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

This is not a race to the finish but a journey to the end.















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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,881
2/13/17 11:42 A

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I definitely own my own weight. As I see it, I gained the weight. I can make a million 'excuses' for it, but that's what they are. Excuses. I own it. It's up to me if and when I choose to share it and with whom I choose to share it.

Great chapter!

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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DAWNWATERWOMAN's Photo DAWNWATERWOMAN SparkPoints: (616,703)
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2/13/17 11:17 A

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So far... this has been the BEST chapter for ME. It was so comforting to read the suggestions and to realize that my numbers belong to ME. I am going to use the suggestions and put into practice more "private" weight/diet/fitness and find a positive but brief way to respond to questions and comments. Working at the Y and being in a bathing suit always.... it's hard not to have the weight gains/losses out there for everyone to see & judge. HOWEVER.. I don't have to buy in to the negative or probing talk. I WILL OWN my numbers ans focus on a healthier means to self-talk & encourage. I believe that THIS chapter is exactly what I needed today and at this point in my personal program. I am so grateful that I read this today.

THANK YOU

DAWN: Proud Leader of the ROCKIN' RED FOXES
KETO STRONG every day
QUOTE: "To love another person is to see the face of God." -Victor Hugo



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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,087
2/13/17 9:46 A

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emoticon emoticon

Edited by: AURA18 at: 10/20/2017 (11:33)
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VIBRANT4LIFE's Photo VIBRANT4LIFE Posts: 2,290
2/13/17 9:03 A

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I'm not in many situations where I might be asked about my weight loss. My immediate family is very supportive. If I am asked in a situation where I don't want to give details I just say my knees and joints are much happier and leave it at that.

Cheryl
Central Florida
EST
"The way get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” -Walt Disney
"What you allow is what will continue." Unknown
"The secret of getting ahead is getting started." Mark Twain


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,601
2/13/17 8:13 A

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Chapter #13 Who Owns Your Weight? (Second time through this book.)
It is now easier to own my weight number, also what I eat or don't eat and how much exercise I do.
Sometimes I share if asked by a person that I think truly wants to change their own life and the rest of the time I use the answer I learned here which is: "I'm doing fine, eating healthy and loving life!"
This usually ends the questions.

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,311
2/13/17 4:00 A

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Interesting. Apart from posting my weight here for challenges, I tend to keep quiet about it. I hated 'weigh-in' during the short time I went to Rosemary Conley classes.

In part this is a legacy from my childhood. I had a very slim Mom and she considered me fat at 110lbs, even though I was considerably taller than she was. (What would she say now!!)

So weight was tied in with a mix of shame and rebellion for a long time. My DH helped a lot to put healthy weight before skinny weight.

I liked the inclusion of useful replies in this chapter.

Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

Delighted to be a 'Determined Daisy'.
'Defeat is a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.'



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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,176
9/19/16 7:48 A

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Maribeth and Gill emoticon emoticon I own my weight and rarely feel any need to share it. I am getting better at accepting compliments by usually remembering to say thank you. Where I sometimes fall short is minimizing the compliment by launching into a monologue giving SP and the 100DWL credit or other info when I should just simply say thank you and Stop!

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,169
9/19/16 5:23 A

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That's fab, Maribeth - well done!

I'm much the same as I was back in April. I think it has been helpful to have lost weight VERY gradually - so people haven't noticed or commented. Also I think that most of my close friends/acquaintances are used to seeing me at this weight - it's not comment-worthy any more.

I still find people who are struggling with their own weight are curious about what I might weigh...... if it seems helpful for them, I'll simply tell them that I've kept my weight within a healthy range using the No S diet. Mostly it's not necessary to give any personal information.

One of the 'risks' of buying smaller size jeans is that possibility that someone will comment on my smaller size!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,087
9/18/16 4:35 P

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Chapter 13- Who Owns Your Weigh
Sept. 2016 I have made progress since April (5 months ago). I enjoy cooking and storing healthy food to ensure it is available when we are hungry. My husband and I eat at different times during the week because we have different metabolisms. On weekends we share one or two meals. DH reads the NYT and finds health and nutrition information to keep updated.

Now, I am going to own my weight. I can't control what others say. If they bring it up, I will listen, smile and change the subject.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 10/13/2018 (10:58)
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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,353
4/24/16 5:30 P

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I own my weight. I share it with my doctor and my husband and, of course it is on Spark. I'm a bit blunt about this. If someone would to just outright ask me what I weigh (and I can't even think that anyone would be that rude!) I would just ask them why then need to know that.

My answer might end the conversation but it would at least let them know that there are boundaries. If they ask whether I've lost weight, I, like Gill, try to answer without answering. "maybe." and change the subject.


Wanda

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Forgive Everyone.
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MINDFUL-C's Photo MINDFUL-C SparkPoints: (192,769)
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4/23/16 7:07 P

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My weight number belongs to me. I do not have to share. I am thinking of sharing less and less so if the scale goes up and I am eating healthier I do not worry about others judging me. I am going to remove my weight related ticker.

My family visited today. I ate much healthier than I used to and am proud of myself. The scale may go up for awhile but I am happy with what I did today.

During the visit my father asked if my husband and I are on a diet as he felt my husband looked too skinny. My husband gains weight in his midsection and has been working on losing it. If he gains weight he develops back problems. My father continued to say "we all need a little extra" I made no comment, and thought about this chapter. It does not matter what he thinks. My weight belongs to me and my husband's weight belongs to my husband.

I shy away from positive comments, and seem to focus on negative ones. My parents were and still are very negative. I share as little as possible with them :(.

Thank you to all that have liked my posts. I still find it difficult to open up at times but am trying my best. My weight belongs to me, how I choose to eat belongs to me, and my life belongs to me emoticon

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Reached my WW goal on 1/26/2020 :)

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4/23/16 12:30 P

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emoticon Good for you Aura!

Sunny Howard
Tucson, AZ
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d
/1dVcYwJXfHu7OknwPdExffdLuQhKsJmql6q6F
uwUNxpo/edit


FAB 4
1. What is the one thing I need to achieve today?
2. What is the one think I want to accomplish/achieve this week?
3. What is the one thing that is important to me today?
4. What can I do to always remain calm?



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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,087
4/23/16 12:19 P

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Chapter 13- Who Owns Your Weigh
April 2016
This is an important chapter and I want to learn from experience. DH does not need to lose weight, and I use to feel he wasn't supportive. After about 7 years of losing, then regaining, I had to come up with a different approach. Recently, I am finding that my actions speak clearer than words. I fill the fridge, freezer and counter with fruits and vegetables. Its working...we are eating healthier together.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 2/13/2017 (09:47)
Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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IAMSUNNYHOWARD's Photo IAMSUNNYHOWARD Posts: 1,655
4/23/16 10:06 A

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Chapter 13- Who Owns Your Weight
-Not required to answer
-Instead describe positives like how I am handling food trigger, and how I motivate myself to get more exercise.
-Food is not a moral issue-Confession doesn't improve efforts
-Reply with "I've been making progress, thanks for asking"
-Accept compliments " Thank you for saying that, You really made my day"-

I have always had a hard time accepting compliment, and criticism for that matter.
I am going to practice accepting compliment, and not going into details or detract by saying something negative.

Sunny Howard
Tucson, AZ
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d
/1dVcYwJXfHu7OknwPdExffdLuQhKsJmql6q6F
uwUNxpo/edit


FAB 4
1. What is the one thing I need to achieve today?
2. What is the one think I want to accomplish/achieve this week?
3. What is the one thing that is important to me today?
4. What can I do to always remain calm?



www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/messageb
oard.asp?imboard=4&imparent=41083883


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,601
4/23/16 6:43 A

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Gill, love your responses! emoticon

From now on I am the only one who owns my weight. I won't offer up my numbers to anyone (except for the challenges on Sparkpeople).
I have learned to answer questions about what I eat (or don't eat) by basically ignoring them or giving a quick non-committal answer. Now I will do that with my weight numbers!
The question that still gets to me is "are you still doing that?" The meaning is "are you still on a diet?" My answer is "you mean eating healthy?" "I try!"
Now I need to quit talking about what I've lost and what my goal is and find a quick answer for those questions. I like "I'm doing ok, thanks for asking!"
I do know that my goal has changed since I gave up that elusive BMI number. emoticon
In my head I can now give myself credit for the good choices I make every day.

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,169
4/16/16 2:08 P

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emoticon
This day's lesson has been such a life-changer for me - I always felt obliged to tell people how much I weighed. My hassle was usually people saying "you don't need to lose weight!" because they were heavier than me. Now, I do use the suggestions Linda offers - if someone says it looks like I've lost weight, I say things like "oh, do you think so - I'm not sure" or "I've been running, maybe I've toned up a bit" or "I might have done, I'm not sure" (such a liar, I know! but it protects me from the unhelpful comments and conversations about weight and diets!)

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 4/23/2016 (01:27)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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MKBWNSUGAR's Photo MKBWNSUGAR Posts: 11,042
11/23/14 5:06 P

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In your notebook, list 2 or 3 things that you learned from this chapter.
I could really identity with what Pat said below. If complimented, I will just be gracious and not minimize my accomplishments and state that I have a ways to go.

What are some ways you can relate to the clients or examples in this chapter?In the past I could identity with the woman who had the verbally abusive husband. I was young then and put up with it but today I wouldn't allow anyone to talk to me that way.

What will you do differently as a result of reading this chapter? Just be gracious when complimented about my weight.

Martha
Southern Maryland
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Walk Away the Pounds, Co-leader
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,169
11/13/14 12:37 P

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Beth has done Chapter 13 and blogged here:
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=5815967

Linda has blogged about Chapter 13 here:
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=5816099


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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PATRICIA4472's Photo PATRICIA4472 Posts: 2,947
11/13/14 10:29 A

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Sorry I didn't get here yesterday to post my chapter reflections!

emoticon In your notebook, list 2 or 3 things that you learned from this chapter.
1. Own my own weight and decide with whom I share information.
2. I learned some possible phrases to deflect unwelcome inquiries, but still be gracious.

emoticon What are some ways you can relate to the clients or examples in this chapter?
1. Many of us are inclined to apologize or make light of our efforts - or say how far we have to go yet in our weight-loss plan. Just say thanks and move on.

emoticon What will you do differently as a result of reading this chapter?
1. I will be more discreet in what I share, and also just be gracious if people comment on my weight loss without going into detail or sharing slip-ups, etc.


My name is Pat; I live in Wisconsin...
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,169
11/13/14 4:37 A

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Friends with the Scale Chapter 13 - Who Owns Your Weight?

1) This chapter made me think about the impact these 'conversations' about my weight/health/diet might have on me emotionally . I liked the suggestions to 'not get caught in the trap of confession' too.

2) I could relate to Julia's example in this chapter - I've felt very annoyed when 'friends' have said 'you're getting too thin' - it feels like disapproval (do they feel threatened by me being slimmer/healthier? - don't want me to change?) - and I feel miserable afterwards.

3) I will take charge of the numbers on my scale and keep them private (and treat others the same!) ''I'm making great progress - thanks for asking!''

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
11/12/14 4:17 P

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I would say keeping my weight loss #'s a secret would be a new concept for me.
'
I can identify a little bit with the example of people saying things like "You are getting too thin" when I was getting closer to goal last time.

I had dinner with a work friend this week, who I have not seen in person in a year and she said " You've lost weight" and I said "Yes, I have lost a bit" and that was it. I think the number talk is as much our own fault so if I said "95 pounds" then the next time I saw her she might ask what # I am on then. I guess that sort of relates to the concept of owning your weight.

I'd also like to own a condo in Maui, but I guess I can only handle one thing at a time LOL....ok just kidding on that one. I've never been to Maui and I'm pretty sure the cost of living is higher than I could afford on a permanent basis.



CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
9/12/14 5:46 P

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emoticon In your notebook, list 2 or 3 things that you learned from this chapter.

emoticon What are some ways you can relate to the clients or examples in this chapter?

emoticon What will you do differently as a result of reading this chapter?



emoticon Link to Chapter 12
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x59125270


emoticon Link to Chapter 14

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x59125322


Edited by: CD13384562 at: 11/9/2014 (18:21)
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