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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,876
4/1/20 10:02 A

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Day 62: Revive my feelings
After the past several months I feel I am closer to the thoughts in the picture “Shifting”


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”
I voted by mail!


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 12,181
3/31/20 6:05 P

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Day 62 Revive feelings - move out of neutral zone - rebuild enthusiasm for life.
u.nu/mogr

Edited by: AURA18 at: 3/31/2020 (18:10)
Maribeth MN CT Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u u.nu/httpsunu7lag u.nu/43qj2
JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 15,415
3/31/20 1:13 P

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Day 62 - Revive my feelings

I feel I have improved a lot in not eating in response to stuffing emotions, both in the realm of not stuffing my emotions, feeling them and heeding their raison-d'etre and also in the realm of not eating for emotional reasons. I do have to remember, stay mindful of what is going on so I don't fall into eating for emotional reasons.

June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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MADAMEJEANNE's Photo MADAMEJEANNE SparkPoints: (82,918)
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3/31/20 10:43 A

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1. Identify situations where using food to avoid difficult emotions
A. Angry
B. Stressed
C. When overwhelmed with problems
2.consider ways to revive emotions
A. Stop and pray
B.meditate on Bible verses
3. Other situations
Groups, family, friends, or church or other

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest unto your soul.


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 3,059
3/31/20 7:45 A

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DAY #62 REVIVE MY FEELINGS

I have come a long way since my last post for Day 62. I used to be more pessimistic, but now I'm mostly optimistic and choose to look at the positives in life instead of the negatives. I choose not to dwell on the things that make me feel sad or made. Dwelling, just like eating, never solves anything.

On the other hand, Linda points out that looking at your feelings isn't always enjoyable and that emotions make you face the truth about life and force you to consider decisions or changes you may not be ready for. That's right. Sometimes we just aren't ready to "face the music". Some things take longer than other things.

When do I use food to avoid difficult emotions?

When I'm bored!

What healthy ways do I use to deal with boredom?

I have a multitude of home activities that I can involve myself in and, if that doesn't do it, I can go for a walk outside during the day or go to bed early at night.

Other situations I where I try to avoid my emotions?

Relationships is a big one, but I'm getting better at it!

Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,706
3/31/20 6:08 A

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• Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.

I've definitely been wanting to use food to cope with the anxiety and lack of certainty around the C-19 pandemic. I've also felt drawn to using food because I've felt tired/bored/stuck.

• Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.

With the help of the internet, including Spark People! I've now settled into a daily routine of helpful things. These include an exercise session (PE with Joe Wicks) which is cardio and HIIT and gets the blood pumping. It includes a lovely Qi Gong routine that my brother sent me the link to - which includes messages about trusting our bodies, and feeling strong and resilient - it gets all the energy flowing, so moves any 'stuck' energy. I've also started working through the mindfulness links that were posted in a Spark blog recently - they're great!
I'm keeping a Covid-19 journal - making a daily entry for posterity! And, yes, being creative by making cards for example, knitting, and coming up with ideas to share at work.
Soaking in the bath. Turning off the computer. Reading. Sleeping more than usual too!

• Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.

I'll leave this for another day - the present situation is enough to think about right now.

(this link comes up on Day 63 - but I'm putting it here so I can find it!)
www.weightlossjoy.com/how-to
-figure-ou
t-what-you-are-feeling/


Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 3/31/2020 (06:09)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 3,059
6/12/19 8:59 P

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DAY #62 REVIVE MY FEELINGS - ROUND 2

Yesterday we were to take a look at ourselves and how we express our emotions. Do we let ourselves feel them? Or, do we bury them in food? Because I frequently don't like my emotions, many times I bury them in food instead of facing them.

Today Linda tells us that looking at our feelings is not always enjoyable/comfortable. No Kidding! ! ! Emotions make you face the truth about life (and perhaps yourself). But food is not the answer. It is only a bandage that lets the your negative feelings fester.

ID A SITUATION WHERE I MIGHT BE USING FOOD TO AVOID A DIFFICULT EMOTION:

I have a group of gals that I refer to as friends. I feel like I am the glue that holds this group together. I have mentioned this before. If I don't make the effort, make the plans, make the contact with these gals (either individually or as a group), it won't happen. I feel rejected, sad, lonely, empty, and unloved as a result.

REVIVE THAT EMOTION IN A HEALTHY WAY:

I recently participated in the last activity that I planned for this group of gals. Now, I am trying to evaluate just what I want to do next. My initial thoughts have been to pull away from this group. Wait to see just how long it will take for any one of them to contact me, ask how I'm doing, invite me to do an activity. Pulling away from relationships is not the answer. Linda wants us to move out of that neutral zone, that emotional box, where our emotions are dulled to avoid hurt. She wants us to rebuild our enthusiasm for life!

CREATE A PLAN FOR CHANGING YOUR PATTERN OF COPING:

!. Gill's acronym for FEAR comes to my mind. False Expectations Appear Real. I need to be sure of the evidence and my thoughts and make sure my feelings reflect the reality of the situation.

2. I need to remember that I am a lovable and worthwhile person with a loving heart.

3. When I find myself facing these emotions I need to engage in activity that I love.

4. I need to never give up! It is healthy to sit quietly with your emotions.


Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 15,415
6/11/19 2:43 P

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Day 62 Revive my feelings

If you’ve lost touch with your emotions, you may need to pull some of them back to a conscious level. Recovering your feelings doesn’t mean you have to start pounding your fists and screaming. You simply need to move out of the neutral zone and rebuild your enthusiasm for life.

Today

• Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.
• Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.
• Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.


So yesterday, we were supposed to identify common times when you eat instead of labeling or expressing your feelings. Just identify the times.

I ended up doing that plus today's task of also identifying, considering the healthy side of that emotional reaction and reviving a healthy response instead of an avoidance and stuffing of the feelings, and I also outlined a plan I use to change that pattern. When we avoid feeling something, it is usually because there is pain with this feeling and we wish to avoid the pain. If we look deeper as to why, the reaction is an alert that the current conditions are causing pain, we can either avoid the pain by stuffing the feeling, or resolve the pain by discerning what we are being alerted about and resolve the situation. Such as, it sucks to feel socially rejected because it makes me feel like I'm not as good as everyone else, but when I bring to my own attention that I would never want my child or best friend to feel this way and would tell them, we are all unique, and we are fearfully and wonderfully made and we ourselves are giving away to other people the power to make us feel inferior. It's funny because I know all this intellectually, I know I am not inferior to anyone else, just different and unique, but I can bring myself to feel this if I include the step of being indignant if anyone else would dare to make my child or good friend inferior, I would encourage them there is no need to give away this power. Then I transfer this indignation to apply to myself. As to dealing with disappointments, it is more logical to think about what went wrong and not do it again or to adjust to a more realistic expectation rather than eat when I feel disappointed. It is like, why does an alcoholic drink? To feel better for a while, but the issues that made them feel bad don't go away if they don't deal with them.

Yesterday's musings

I sometimes eat when I am feeling socially rejected, or when I am disappointed. That happens less often since I have been searching and implementing alternative reaction strategies, like having something to do when I feel that way, having a list of things to do instead of eating. I learned quite a few of these strategies on Spark, sharing experiences with like-minded Sparkers, from the Beck Diet Solution Spark Team, and I think, this is my first Spangle challenge, but I think Spangler ideas will be very helpful and become part of my arsenal of non-eating, coping strategies as well. I just had an epiphany, after I get through the wanting to eat and resisting eating and doing something that makes me feel better, I should revisit why I felt so badly, there is usually a good reason, and I could try to understand the dynamics to come up with not feeling so rejected or disappointed. I feel I solved my anger issue, now to try to cope better with feeling rejection and disappointment so deeply.




Edited by: JUNEPA at: 6/11/2019 (14:44)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 12,181
6/7/19 7:16 A

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Day 62 Revive relationships - love, learn and grow
Enjoy conversations without food - walking Buddy, sitting round the fire, sharing books

emoticon emoticon

Maribeth MN CT Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u u.nu/httpsunu7lag u.nu/43qj2
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,706
5/29/19 6:16 A

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Yup, I can identify with all those things, Marilyn. I have to work hard to maintain the few friendships I have - those people are the few that I can usually express feelings with. But, as we get older and lose friends, it becomes harder to make new ones.............

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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YOUNG-AT-HEART's Photo YOUNG-AT-HEART Posts: 2,685
5/28/19 11:03 P

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emoticon DAY #62 emoticon

Day 62 - Revive my feelings



If you’ve lost touch with your emotions, you may need to pull some of them back to a conscious level. Recovering your feelings doesn’t mean you have to start pounding your fists and screaming. You simply need to move out of the neutral zone and rebuild your enthusiasm for life.





Today

• Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.

I live alone and, because of my older age, I have lost many close family members and friends. These losses have brought sadness and loneliness into my life. I have avoided starting new relationships and friendships because I don’t want to go through more sadness and loss. When I feel sad and lonely, I turn to food for comfort.

• Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.

I need to spend less time alone and get out of the house and socialize more. I need to accept more invitations, attend more family events, go to church more often, and sign up for group classes.

• Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.

At family gatherings, all of the excitement and activities are overwhelming to me since I live an ordinary and quiet life. At parties, I am friendly and engage in conversation, but I hold back emotionally instead of fully engaging 100%. Sometimes I feel like I am an observer and not a participant.

I could concentrate more on 1 on 1 interactions in the group and find quiet areas of the party instead of being in the center where all the activity is going on and be more able to express my feelings.








~~~MARILYN ~~~
Virginia - Eastern Time Zone
The worst thing to be without--hope.
The main reason my past diets failed--lack of motivation.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,706
5/28/19 5:29 P

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Thank you for sharing these deeply painful memories. Good job in dealing with them.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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5/28/19 5:16 P

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Day 62 Revive my feelings

If you’ve lost touch with your emotions, you may need to pull some of them back to a conscious level. Recovering your feelings doesn’t mean you have to start pounding your fists and screaming. You simply need to move out of the neutral zone and rebuild your enthusiasm for life.

Today

• Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.
I'm a retired teacher, but still volunteer ; for one reason, that the school building has become home-like to me. The friends I've made there have taken the place of family. But when I see my friends with their families I have a part of me that shrinks inside a place in my heart where I shelter myself. Growing up in a middle class family, with well educated parents and grandparents, didn't keep me from being the picked on child. One instance that still hurts is a Christmas lunchtime. There was a box of chocolates being offered to us by my father who held out the box for each child to pick one, and then offered second helpings. I was sitting across the room with brothers and sisters between me and Dad so I asked my brother to hand me another chocolate like the rest were having. Dad said, "Let fat Helen get it herself." I was the one blamed for things I didn't do, my parents would ask what I'd like for Christmas and then give it to one of my sisters instead of me. I had good clothes, home, but was neglected in family love. So when I see family groups I somethimes, not always, sooth myself by eating comfort foods that are chocolatey or creamy.


• Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.
When I realized the past experiences were affecting me that way I set a framed photo of myself on my dresser. It's a photo of me at the age of the upsetting Christmas lunch. I can see I wasn't fat. I was going through the 11-13 year old growth spurt and change that girls go through. I look at the photo and tell myself to take care of myself with love and affection and then freshen up for the day and dress myself in comfortable clothes that...yes! I got myself for myself to enjoy, use, and keep. I took photos of my family and put them in a pretty box and duck taped it shut and put it in the storage closet.


• Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.
At county fairs, parks, grocery store I sometimes see children being treated rudely by their parent. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I've started to look around me at the entire large group of people and notice how similar they all are but how different, too, and that I am one individual in the group. I find the refreshment stand and get a diet lemon soda and sit down on a bench, relax, and ( like "Where's Waldo" ) look for 3 instances of parental kindness. When I get home I ask my dear husband to hand me a creamy, but nonfat, yogurt and a half serving of bittersweet chocolate. Doing those things is helping me to come into the present and not dwell on the past.


SUSMANNIE's Photo SUSMANNIE Posts: 1,131
5/28/19 12:57 P

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Day 62 Revive my feelings

If you’ve lost touch with your emotions, you may need to pull some of them back to a conscious level. Recovering your feelings doesn’t mean you have to start pounding your fists and screaming. You simply need to move out of the neutral zone and rebuild your enthusiasm for life.

Today

• Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.

Having an upsetting reaction from a coworker, much younger than me. Ate sweets over weekend upset over it. Nastiness in response to my friendliness. Have to get back on track logging food. Didn't have time to set up my raw vegetable snacks for work, so I just brought a yellow pepper and carrots. Cut these up at work. Keeping myself on track and avoiding coworker. Not my problem. I am TOO nice.

• Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.

Just acknowledging that I am obsessing and that I can choose not to. I have no control over how others react to me. Kindness to myself and taking care of what I need to do for myself. Blocking out nasty person, not making eye contact in hallway. Taking care of me.

• Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.

Get overwhelmed by daily life demands at time and trying to keep up. One way I've been dealing with this is by ratcheting down on my expectations of myself. Instead of "the living room is a mess and looks unloved", I say "I can pick up the mail and magazines and sort them. That will be a big improvement."




Sue
Port Jefferson, New York


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,706
5/28/19 9:58 A

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That's a great one, Phyllis - thanks for sharing that!

I started my day by sitting quietly with my coffee - just breathing, listening. This is a good thing for me to do to tune in to myself. I've let it slip recently, and felt the need to go back to it. It makes me aware of what a lot of things I have on my mind, and how 'scattered' I can get. Hard to find any feelings when it's like a ball of wool all unravelled and tangled!

Can't say I had any strong realisations about my feelings - but at least I pressed the 'pause' button for a moment.

There are some lists of feelings/emotions in the Miscellaneous Forum - they're from Linda's book/website - you can download them here:-

www.weightlossjoy.com/list-o
f-emotions
/


• Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.

Last night I went to the open-air theatre with a friend. I think some of the feelings I'd had were around the audience participation "stand up and do this............" kind of things. Part of me wanted to; part of me didn't want to. I didn't. It was what Linda lists as a 'pressure' emotion - embarrassment. In the interval I had a bag of crisps/potato chips, and a hot chocolate.

• Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.

Did eating crisps and drinking hot chocolate help? No - in the second half of the show there was more of the same. I think the better way would be to feel the fear and do it anyway - stand up and take part, and see if the sky falls down! Face the fear. Either that, or just decide I'm not standing up - but also notice that lots of other people also don't stand up!

• Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.

I can't do this right now.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 5/28/2019 (10:05)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,876
5/28/19 7:52 A

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Day 62 Revive my feelings
I’m still a work in progress.


Edited by: MAWMAW101 at: 5/30/2019 (07:03)
Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”
I voted by mail!


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CAROLYNINJOY1's Photo CAROLYNINJOY1 Posts: 12,173
9/12/18 1:58 A

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100 More DWL, Day 62 Revive my feelings

If you’ve lost touch with your emotions, you may need to pull some of them back to a conscious level. Recovering your feelings doesn’t mean you have to start pounding your fists and screaming. You simply need to move out of the neutral zone and rebuild your enthusiasm for life.

Today

• Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.
• Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.
• Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.

I've felt especially sad today because I have had to prune off a branch of my family tree. I won't interact with someone who lies to me and steals from me. The fact that they are related by blood doesn't change their unacceptable actions. It has been over a year since I spoke to or mailed these relatives and the biggest percentage of the time I no longer think about it. Today was a birthday of one of them and it brought the difficult emotions to the surface. So, I'll deal with the sadness and keep putting one foot in front of the other 'mentally'.

I did some housecleaning, put a favorite essential oil in my diffuser, had a healthy smoothie with coconut water, protein powder, a teaspoon of beet powder, mango and bananas combined. It was delicious. I'm glad I'm making healthy choices in spite of feeling sad.

I'm going to change the ink cartridges in the printer and copy some of the mazes in my new puzzle book. I don't want to use the originals so I'll be able to do them more than once. I'm also going to do some coloring and an online jigsaw puzzle if I can get the iternet to stay on long enough today. It's been intermittent service. There's a lesson in that. It reminds me I need to do other things than be online.

I haven't used food to avoid difficult emotions for sometime. I am simply feeling them. Journaling helps. So does using my nutritional planner in advance.

My laptop screensaver has a significant quote: "Re-set, re-adjust, re-start, refocus...as many times as you need to." That helps me stay in the present moment.

Joy is a Choice. Choose joy moment by moment.

When all else fails, persistence prevails.

Injoy:) Carolyn

(Arizona - Mountain Standard Time)

My personal story as a blog:
https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
ublic_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6
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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 29,339
8/22/18 10:58 A

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Day 62 Revive my feelings

If you’ve lost touch with your emotions, you may need to pull some of them back to a conscious level. Recovering your feelings doesn’t mean you have to start pounding your fists and screaming. You simply need to move out of the neutral zone and rebuild your enthusiasm for life.

Today

• Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.
• Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.
• Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.

There was a time that I was, indeed, quite numb and didn't feel much of anything. I've already moved through that and things are much better now.

~ Renee ~
Live the way you want to be remembered.

Highest weight 272.5 July, 2016.
I didn’t come this far to only come this far.
Stay focused. Do not falter. I got this.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,706
8/19/18 3:13 A

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Ouch!
emoticon

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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READY201811's Photo READY201811 SparkPoints: (164,441)
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8/18/18 9:46 P

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Day 62 revive my feelings
Using food to avoid difficult situations-I keep myself fat to avoid, intimacy, compliments, invitations, accepted, being touched
To,revive these emotions I have to love myself to feel I deserve it, honor myself enough to want it, and trust myself to be seen at my highest weight
His sisters do not accept be as they are sizes 0 2 4 and 6 and I am obese. We ran into two of them today and comment “we don’t eat here” and I think - insult directed at me

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,706
8/18/18 12:49 P

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Oh, Barb - isn't it hard!?!

Maribeth - thanks for the infographic.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 12,181
8/18/18 11:11 A

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Day 62 Revive feelings - move out of neutral zone - rebuild enthusiasm for life. I'm sick of the heat and lack patience for daily tasks. Worked all day to move bed back downstairs to sleep better.
u.nu/mogr

Edited by: AURA18 at: 3/31/2020 (18:05)
Maribeth MN CT Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u u.nu/httpsunu7lag u.nu/43qj2
FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 3,059
8/18/18 10:32 A

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Day #62 Revive My Feelings

I think these next 10 days of digging up all of these emotional things is going to be very hard!

I never had a close relationship with my grandparents and our DD never had a very close relationship with her grandparents (my parents) either. Consequently, it is very important to her that we have an outstanding relationship with our grandchildren (her children). This is a lot of pressure. Sometimes I feel like we are meant to make up for all of the past poor relationships. As a result we spend a lot of time with our grandchildren.

We just spent that last 2 days with our granddaughter, who will soon be turning 6, as a "special" time for her alone. I truly love my grandchildren, but they most definitely are stressful for me in many ways. Our granddaughter gravitates more towards my DH and this is very hurtful for me. I know she has no ill intent, but I end up feeling very unloved. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me. I think some of it comes from the fact that grandma sets the rules in our house because DH seems oblivious to what goes on around him - eat your vegetables, pick up your toys, stop swinging that stool and banging into the counter, please eat with your fork and not your fingers, get your feet off of the furniture, didn't I ask you not to do that?, etc. etc. I am the "rule" person. The "black & white" personality kind of person. So I end up not being the "fun" person. Funny who kids can sense this, but somebody in our household has to keep some kind of order so that chaos doesn't rule!

When it comes time to returning our grandchildren to their rightful owners the situation quickly deteriorates and total chaos does rule. There is quarreling between the siblings. There is whining and crying. There is non-stop attention seeking behaviors that their parents indulge and which drives me crazy.

As an attempt to make our final time a happy event I arranged for us to do the "turn over" at a favorite local pizza joint. I invited my 91 yr. old father (also filling the role of grandfather and great-grandfather) to join us. This restaurant has a room with lots of different video game machines and other things that fascinate kids. Both kids worked uncomplainingly during the 2 days to earn money for these games only to end up disappointed because when we got there it was a 1 1/2 hour wait to get a table. Let another round of crying & pouting begin! We decided to go to our house and order pizza. My house was a mess and our dining room table was covered in a scrapbook project I am working on!

All this ruckus because I want to be a good grandparent, but only end up feeling like a failure! To put an ending to this long story I will say that I ended up not only feeling unloved, but frustrated as well. All a bad combination which led to eating too much pizza and, oh well, I might as well have another glass of wine while I'm at it!

This morning I was very mad at myself for my slip up with my healthy eating streak emoticon ! On the positive side, I was so mad that I ate a lovely, healthy breakfast and rededicated myself to start my "healthy streak" again. Now to figure out how to deal with all of these grandparenting emotions.



Sue

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,706
8/18/18 8:55 A

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This one seems hard......so, like the 'how to eat an elephant' question.....I'll tackle a bit of it!

First, I want to give myself a pat on the back for coming as far as I've come. I am so much better at recognising my feelings, and responding to them in healthier ways.

For today's lesson, I think I'll use my days off from work as my example. A day with work has focus and structure. Days without work can feel empty! And lonely!

Of course, they are also opportunities to do stuff - and I do. I meet up with friends, go for walks and runs. This week I went round the local vineyard - I was the only single person in the group taking the tour. I joined a family (mum, dad, teenage daughter). I was sociable.

Afterwards, I bought crisps which I munched on the walk home. Part of that was triggered by having tasted the wines, but I honestly was not hungry......it was emotional I am sure.

I felt acutely single and an odd-one-out.

At the weekends, I tend to plan to eat something like cake or chocolate.....This might happen even if I had a family.

I have begun using special healing music to help me with sleep and relaxation. I find yoga is a gentle way to access emotion too.

Being creative - making things, writing etc, these things are all ways of channelling feelings.



Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 8/18/2018 (14:10)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 29,495
8/18/18 8:24 A

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Day 62 Revive my feelings



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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
5/8/18 10:02 P

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Day 62 Revive my feelings

If you’ve lost touch with your emotions, you may need to pull some of them back to a conscious level. Recovering your feelings doesn’t mean you have to start pounding your fists and screaming. You simply need to move out of the neutral zone and rebuild your enthusiasm for life.

Today

• Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.
• Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.
• Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.


Link to day 61
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Link to day 63

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Edited by: CD13384562 at: 5/12/2018 (16:47)
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