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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,592
6/17/19 10:18 A

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DAY #66 KICKING KETTLES - ROUND 2

"Kicking my kettles reminded me of how I tend to blame people, events, or even iron pots for my eating struggles". Linda's statement made me ask myself "Do I do this?". When my emotions build-up and become so intense that I turn to food for a release, for comfort, for a fix? I'm sure I do this at times, but I'm more often than not, found to release my emotions in anger instead of taking the time to figure out just what's been "eating" me.

RECALL A TIME WHEN STRONG EMOTIONS MADE YOU WANT TO EAT:

Luckily, I really can't think of a recent time when I my strong emotions overpowered me which makes doing this exercise a bit difficult. Perhaps the recent event of our remodeling/contractor difficulties for our bathroom could be an example. It took place over so many weeks that it is difficult to pick just that one thing that "pushes you over the edge".

IDENTIFY THE FEELINGS THAT WERE PROMPTING YOUR DESIRE FOR FOOD:

All I know is that I felt awful! And so did my poor DH who seldom lets things get him down. Feelings like Angry, Desperate, Frustrated, Bitter, Grouchy, Stressed (I picked one word from each category of the Pressure Emotions) led to Hopeless, Depressed, Anxious, Lost, and Regretful (feelings from the Empty Emotions list).

CREATE A LIST OF THINGS YOU CAN DO INSTEAD OF EATING:

1. Together DH and I sat down, took some deep breaths and a step back from the situation.
2. Acknowledging our feelings.
3. Supporting each other.
4. OK this is what we've got - now what are we going to do about it.
5. Communicating feelings instead of trying to hold them all inside.
6. Time for some activities that we find especially self-nurturing to replenish our emotional buckets.

Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,213
6/13/19 9:20 P

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Day 66 Kicking kettles

During times when we’re hurting or feeling weak and vulnerable, it’s easy to think that eating will fix the problem. But food is only a temporary solution to your pain. The next day, the holes in your heart are still there. So instead of reaching for ice cream or cookies, during difficult times, pull out your tools for nurturing and self-care and make them a part of your day.

Today

• Recall a time when strong emotions made you want to eat.
• Identify the feelings that were prompting your desire for food.
• Create a short list of things you could have done instead of eating.


• Recall a time when strong emotions made you want to eat.

When feeling lonely or disappointed or frustrated, I am not comfort eating these days, but I am trying to apply the nurturing and self-care tools and strategies to another bad habit. While I am not currently on-track enough to plan my food ahead and stick to my plan, my nutrition is not including bingeing or overeating. However, my self-soothing activity of choice is playing games on my computer, backgammon, pinochle, checkers, mah jong, rummy ... the games on www.cardgames.io
I sometimes lose hours doing this, instead of being productive with my time housecleaning, gardening, organizing my banking and personal business affairs ... I feel all the same emotions as after a food binge, except luckily, no physical discomfort, just mental anguish that comes with not making good choices and wasting my time.

• Identify the feelings that were prompting your desire for food.

My self soothing in response to loneliness, disappointment, and frustration these days is more wasting time than overeating.

Also, alas, I just feel lazy sometimes and like passing some time lounging around.


• Create a short list of things you could have done instead of eating.

-Housework, which doesn't sound very attractive an alternative, but curiously, once I start, I like it and I feel very good when it is finished.
- Gardening ... ditto the housework dynamic,
- Cardio or Strength Training workout - I love walking with the dogs, hiking, biking, running
- Organize and put personal affairs in better order - I really dislike doing this, but it is a necessary task of a responsible and self-sufficient and able-bodied and able- minded person
- Other projects, like I want to set up an area where the young calves can go outside
- also some maintenance projects, like change the flat tire on my bike, wash and clean my car and the farm pick-up truck, set up a system to be more efficient about recycling, spend more time trying to improve my relationship with youngest DD,
I have lots of productive opportunities, I can do them instead of being lazy and not getting enough sleep.
I used Beck techniques for other areas in my life, I feel this will work with Spangling as well


Edited by: JUNEPA at: 6/14/2019 (00:10)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,641
6/7/19 2:59 A

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100 More DWL - Day 66 Kicking kettles

During times when we’re hurting or feeling weak and vulnerable, it’s easy to think that eating will fix the problem.

• Recall a time when strong emotions made you want to eat.
At first I couldn't think of an example of this but then remembered recently I lost my mobile phone and had to go around all the shops I had been to all the original ones. The week after I mislaid my keys, I have started leaving things more carefully now ;-) as they have been so stressful.

• Identify the feelings that were prompting your desire for food.
I was very annoyed with myself, scared how I was going to 'come clean' to my husband, knew he wouldn't shout but the looks is bad enough, disappointed with myself and anxious! Any of these emotions could have made me 'eat more than I should have done'.

• Create a short list of things you could have done instead of eating.
I didn't eat in any of these cases as I realised that food wouldn't have helped me find the items! I need to be more organised but also write in my diary for events happening and write all the positives where I have managed situations well to try to encourage confidence in myself!

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,829
6/4/19 2:55 P

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OMG Jeanne - I have bought multi-packs of ice-creams in the past - and eaten the whole lot! I simply can't have them in the house!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
MADAMEJEANNE's Photo MADAMEJEANNE SparkPoints: (80,104)
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6/4/19 8:19 A

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1. Yesterday I was both tired and a little stressed that I needed to call my sister
2. I bought 3 diet ice creams, 1 for me, 1 for dh, and 1 to share today. I ate 2 yesterday
3. Probably should have come home and a yogurt and fresh fruit sundae

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest unto your soul.


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,053
6/3/19 9:07 P

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Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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YOUNG-AT-HEART's Photo YOUNG-AT-HEART Posts: 1,670
6/3/19 5:34 P

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emoticon DAY #66 emoticon

Day 66 - Kicking kettles


During times when we’re hurting or feeling weak and vulnerable, it’s easy to think that eating will fix the problem. But food is only a temporary solution to your pain. The next day, the holes in your heart are still there. So instead of reaching for ice cream or cookies, during difficult times, pull out your tools for nurturing and self-care and make them a part of your day.



Today



• Recall a time when strong emotions made you want to eat.
Just this past weekend was a struggle and it was difficult for me. There was not one specific problem but several “undercurrents”. I was feeling a lot of pressure about ongoing unresolved health problems with no immediate solution. I turned away from exercise for 2 days and gave in to food temptations. Birthday cake and sugar were the big temptations that lured me.

• Identify the feelings that were prompting your desire for food.
Worries about ongoing health issues and what it could mean for my future. My independence is very important to me and losing ground on health issues gives me concern.

• Create a short list of things you could have done instead of eating.
I could have been more realistic with the facts of my situation and focus more on the positive results I have achieved and not be overly concerned thinking negative thoughts. FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE. I could have continued with body awareness meditations which I stopped doing. I could have turned to my resources I’ve written about in my blogs. I have a long list of alternatives I could have turned to instead of food. But, today I got back my focus and got back on the right track.







Edited by: YOUNG-AT-HEART at: 6/3/2019 (17:38)
~~~MARILYN ~~~
Virginia - Eastern Time Zone
The worst thing to be without--hope.
The most effective sleeping pill--peace of mind.
The main reason my past diets failed--lack of motivation.
The greatest "shot in the arm"-- encouragement.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,829
6/3/19 12:23 P

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Here goes - long post!

When I left work this morning I wanted to eat. I didn't feel like I had any strong emotions. But perhaps I've got so very good at hiding them I don't even know if they're strong emotions.

Several things HAD happened prior to leaving work that MIGHT lead to a strong emotion:-

I was severely annoyed about the way the place gets untidy - the refuse bins and the recycling in particular all over-flowing. I feel like I'm the only one who ever bothers to empty the darned things. 'Severely annoyed' is a strong emotion, huh? Looking at Linda's list - this comes under 'Intense Pressure' and I'd use the words 'pissed off'!

I was pretty tired because I'd been woken almost hourly during the night - and although I felt OK, I hadn't had enough sleep. What feeling is attached to that? The word 'tired' comes under the Empty Emotions list.

I was also feeling something about the fact that there was a team meeting I wasn't going to - my manager had just put it on the rota when I was on holiday, so I didn't know until too late, and had already made arrangements to see my friend - I decided to honour my arrangement with my friend, because I consider my friend more important than my work. I felt a a bit left out - even though it was my choice. 'Left-out' a lonely emotion. I was also pretty annoyed with my manager for his habit of just springing these 4hr meetings on us without enough notice. Annoyed? I think I'll go for the word 'exasperated'!

So - that's 'pissed off' and 'exasperated' from the PRESSURE EMOTIONS list; 'tired' and 'left-out' from the EMPTY EMOTIONS list

For the 'pissed off' feeling, I did actually send an email to my manager expressing my concern about these issues.

I haven't addressed the 'exasperated' situation - but I guess I sent a kind of message by the action I took of not attending the meeting. I did also say in my email that I was sorry I wasn't able to attend the meeting but I'd already made an arrangement to do something. I didn't say "I'm really exasperated that you don't give us enough notice about team meetings!"

For the 'tired' feeling - I think I've done all I can - listening to music on the bus, spending time relaxing with my friend, not over-extending myself. Promising myself an early night.

For the 'left-out' feeling - hmm, well, I will ask for a copy of the minutes of the meeting, which he often also fails to make available until the next meeting.

After all the work we've done recently on trying to identify feelings, I got to wondering whether if I can avoid eating (outside meal times) whether I would, in fact, start crying or something............. I think I'm ready to start exploring this now. It's only taken me about 50 years!

I'll let you know how I get on.

emoticon emoticon emoticon


Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 6/3/2019 (12:42)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,302
8/24/18 9:21 A

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Will this do, Sue? LOL



I've been in the situation of putting up with a "friend" because her other was a good friend to hubs. I guess most of us have. I can see that this one really pushes your buttons though. Good that you have a "Yang" to your "Yin" that can talk you down!

I could feel the steam coming out of my ears every time we went out to dinner with a couple because the wife NEVER simply accepted a plate that was brought to her. Every meal was returned to the kitchen; nothing was ever hot enough or cold enough or crisp enough; no server ever responded politely enough or quick enough or......any of seven million other things. We ate out with them at least once a month for years. She complained all the way through dinner, even at a restaurant of her choice.

Then, being an Air Force family, I was saved by a reassignment! We moved away....never have I known any one else like her.

Edited by: LIVINTODAY at: 8/24/2018 (09:21)
Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,592
8/24/18 8:47 A

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Day #66 Kicking Kettles

When I reread this lesson today I thought about how I was feeling last night and the situation seemed to fit perfectly!

Today we are going on an outing with another couple to a park and then to dinner. I have written about my struggles with this friend before. She has the unique ability to push my buttons almost every time we are together. When we made plans for the day I had suggested the park and restaurant idea. I picked a restaurant that I thought she might not like, but it would be a nurturing place for me so that I can remain calm. She, of course, suggested another restaurant.

Then last night she sent me a text message asking if we could make an additional stop at the Mall. I do not want to waste time at the Mall. My DH didn't think her request was unreasonable, but I explained to him that although this one thing didn't seem unreasonable there is always "something more" with her every time we are together. I'm not sure I can even explain it well. Each time we are together there is an example I could give.

I FEEL angry BECAUSE I don't like being manipulated all of the time into doing something I don't want to do! If there was an emoticon with steam coming out of the ears I would use it right now!

DH helped calm me down. Texting went back and forth and we agreed to go to the Mall, but she said she would figure something else out instead. DH poured me another glass of wine! I was good for the remainder of the night. I was actually o.k. after venting to DH and had no intention of drinking more wine, but once he poured the glass I wasn't going to waste it!

DH is usually a good sounding board for me. He is the Yang to my Yin!


Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,302
8/23/18 7:58 A

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Thanks for making me chuckle, Gloria!! Have I asked myself that question a million times??
YES! emoticon

Hope your husband is doing well.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,326
8/23/18 7:51 A

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Thanks girls for all your encouraging comments about surgery day. Now that surgery is over, I won’t be so confined to a waiting room. Why is it so easy for the scale to go up but not down?

One day at a time!


Gloria.
EST Pennsylvania
2017 Spring 5% Challenge Tiger Monarchs
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,829
8/23/18 3:18 A

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Cat & Maribeth always find such amazing memes! Thanks for sharing - that one about negative emotions is helpful for me.

I find even relatively small stresses, like team meetings, or tough caring work, can find me stealing a colleague's chocolate! I do wish they wouldn't leave it in the cupboard!

Your posts about hospital resonated with me. Being stuck in hospital is awful. The idea of the walking route is great.

I spend most of my work days helping to look after a man who is quadriplegic, non-verbal, doubly incontinent, PEG fed. We have oxygen and suction machines, and he has a syringe-driver. It is hard work mentally and physically. Thing is, I didn't sign up for this! I work with adults with learning disabilities. He is an adult with learning disabilities who developed this terminal physical condition. Now it's heavy nursing care.

Anyone who has done this care at home knows what it's like. It's relentless. And I do get to go home, but, it sends me to the refreshment room quite regularly - especially on late shifts.

Maybe I should get a metaphorical kettle to kick? Or do some air punches?
emoticon

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
MADAMEJEANNE's Photo MADAMEJEANNE SparkPoints: (80,104)
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8/22/18 11:14 P

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Renee great job
Gloria hope your hubby heals well, and that you feel better. When my husband had his heart surgery and was in the hospital I took some walking breaks. The hospital had an actually walking route in the halls. I also took steps to go to the cafeteria and took a walk around the outside for variety.

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest unto your soul.


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,053
8/22/18 10:51 P

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Day 66 Kicking kettles. emoticon emoticon emoticon
I feel valnerable when people are mean and turn to food spontaneous.
Distraction techniques - movies, reading, writing and walking. Netflix has such a variety - Thrillers can change my mood. I can read and watch movies in different languages. That takes concentration. Re-focus emotions.
Master the Art of the Positive Response & Live Happier u.nu/bfdv

Edited by: AURA18 at: 6/3/2019 (21:13)
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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 27,960
8/22/18 10:04 P

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Gloria, hoping your hubby heals quickly... emoticon

Thanks to all for the support and encouragement! emoticon

~ Renee, AR, USA, CST ~ Live Aloha! ~
Make excuses or make progress.


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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,302
8/22/18 8:34 P

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Awesome job, Renee!

Gloria, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's surgery. I hope he will have a quick recovery!
emoticon

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
8/22/18 7:34 P

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emoticon Gloria

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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,326
8/22/18 6:31 P

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Haven’t been posting as much.........busy week.....my husband had surgery and spending time at the hospital did not help my eating plan. I’m a stress eater and the cafeteria was so handy. Also the coffee shop had great desserts. Sitting at the hospital is so tiring and sad seeing so many people in need.
Better days ahead!

One day at a time!


Gloria.
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,829
8/22/18 5:38 P

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You did great, Renee!


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 27,960
8/22/18 10:42 A

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Day 66 Kicking kettles

During times when we’re hurting or feeling weak and vulnerable, it’s easy to think that eating will fix the problem. But food is only a temporary solution to your pain. The next day, the holes in your heart are still there. So instead of reaching for ice cream or cookies, during difficult times, pull out your tools for nurturing and self-care and make them a part of your day.

Today

• Recall a time when strong emotions made you want to eat.
most recently, this past weekend. We moved my baby into her college dorm room.
• Identify the feelings that were prompting your desire for food.
a combination of excitement, anxiety, sadness
• Create a short list of things you could have done instead of eating.
I actually stuck with my diet plan in spite of feeling like I wanted to binge on something that's NOT on my plan. My personal demon kept telling me it was a special day, to throw out the diet plan just for the day, to eat whatever I wanted with my daughter, but I didn't. I stuck with my plan. At home, things I can do are to write (planner/journal), listen to music or watch something on Netflix. Sticking with my plan is important and I think what helped me over the weekend is positive self talk... telling myself how far I've come and how every year around this time I usually throw off my groove... I'm not like that any more, now I do things differently. :)


~ Renee, AR, USA, CST ~ Live Aloha! ~
Make excuses or make progress.


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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,302
8/22/18 10:37 A

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#66 - Kicking kettles

I seem to be mostly over that desire to binge, although I can identify a bit with Phyllis's let down after a trip. Sometimes it is hard to get back into a routine and it would be easy to fall into eating out of boredom or procrastination.

Mostly I experience the need to binge now when I am very worried about someone I love...hospital waiting room...OH YES PLEASE bring me food...! I just hate being unable to do anything when someone I care about is hurting physically or mentally. I want to solve problems!
I want to FIX it. I want to EAT!

So in hospital waiting rooms I pace and/or try to read; at home I stay out of the kitchen; when I'm with someone who is hurting, I try to listen and hold back a bit on MY solutions.

Edited by: LIVINTODAY at: 8/22/2018 (10:39)
Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,429
8/22/18 7:37 A

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Day #66 Kicking kettles
Ironically, today is one of those days with strong emotions that are making me want to eat.
I think it is both the excitement of talking about a recent trip and the let down that the trip is over.
I need to:
take a walk;
catch up on laundry; sweep, dust, etc.
plan my meals instead of just eating hap-hazard
*Doing these things should get me back in my normal routine.

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,418
8/22/18 6:00 A

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Day 66 Kicking kettles





emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Cat, in Florida
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FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
8/22/18 5:30 A

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I agree Gil

A nice cup of tea from the kettle is like a ;warm inner hug!

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FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
8/22/18 5:28 A

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Today I was awake an hour before the alarm, and can enjoy my morning oatmeal and coffee in a more leisurely fashion. Before logging on to Spark people, I opened my Kindle app and read today's lesson....kicking kettles.

This reminded me of a time, just 3 years ago, when I was dating someone else. About a week after meeting Tom, I learned that John , the first man I had seriously dated since my husband, was not at all what he had portrayed himself to be, and was in fact, someone completely different, someone I wanted NOTHING to do with, and I broke up with him.

That night, a group of friends was going cardio-drumming at a local park. I had never done cardio-drumming so I went to watch. At one point, a friend walked over, handed me their drum sticks and said give it a try. Pounding that exercise ball with the sticks, to the beat of the music was so releasing and invigorating that I went out that night and bought my own cardio drumming kit, joining the group 3 days later at the next event.

I pounded so hard I broke the hard plastic of the tub the ball sat on top of! But OH how wonderful to get out all that emotional pain! Being a widow was hard enough. Feeling guilty that I had dishonored my dear husband's memory was even worse!

Interestingly, in the first 100 days of Weight Loss book, there is a chapter about never letting them make you eat. I made this meme at the time:



I don't do cardio drumming anymore. I sold my kit to a friend who wanted to take it up. Now, like Linda, my love is here and it will be ok.



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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,829
8/22/18 3:29 A

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"..... food is only a temporary solution to your pain."

sometimes a temporary solution is all you can find, a bit like taking a couple of tablets for a headache at work when what you really need is an hour off in a dark room!

Yesterday at the staff meeting I used chocolate as a temporary solution.
I felt frustrated, powerless, angry, incompetent, annoyed, impatient........etc!

So, during the break for lunch I ate my lunch, and accepted chocolate which wasn't being forced upon me; I had to reach for it.

As I type this the refuse lorry is shattering my peace; this reminded me that during our staff meeting there was a person mowing the grass outside and we had to raise our voices to be heard, strain harder to hear, and shut the windows.......all creating more tension and discomfort.

The kettle is usually my solution - a drink instead of food - for instant relief.


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
5/8/18 10:05 P

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Day 66 Kicking kettles

During times when we’re hurting or feeling weak and vulnerable, it’s easy to think that eating will fix the problem. But food is only a temporary solution to your pain. The next day, the holes in your heart are still there. So instead of reaching for ice cream or cookies, during difficult times, pull out your tools for nurturing and self-care and make them a part of your day.

Today

• Recall a time when strong emotions made you want to eat.
• Identify the feelings that were prompting your desire for food.
• Create a short list of things you could have done instead of eating.

Link to day 65
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Link to day 67
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Edited by: FOCUSONME57 at: 5/19/2018 (16:44)
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