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6/23/19 12:12 P

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DAY #68 GUILT IS NOT AN EMOTION - ROUND 2

I sure have used this word to describe my feelings after I have done something I shouldn't have (even if it was not something unlawful / criminal) such as eating "off plan". So I am with June on this one and the definition she gave us of Guilt According To Google -

1. the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime.

June commented: It's appropriate to feel guilty when you've done something wrong. Feeling the emotion of guilt for an action deserving of remorse is normal.

Eating "off plan" may not be a crime, however, it is a specific/implied offense because if we are going to reach our weight loss goals we must stay "on plan"!

With that all being said, I think Linda is referring to the part of the definition that says we "committed" and that is a verb word, an action, and not an adjective or adverb which are descriptive in nature.

I think it is a good plan to dig deeper into the what and why behind our eating behavior by using Linda's suggestion:

If I wasn't feeling guilty, what would I be feeling?

Hopefully, even though the eating mistaken is done and over with, we can learn a lesson from Gill's ABCs to prevent a repeat mistake in the future:

A = antecedent - what was happening just before the behavior?
B = behavior - what then happened?
C = consequence - what happened just after the behavior?

Let's apply this to sneak-eating, say, cake:-

A = we had a really bad day at work where everything went wrong
B = we went to the staff room and ate the cake when no-one was looking
C = we feel 'guilty'



Sue

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LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,198
6/14/19 1:47 A

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Day 68 Guilt is not an emotion

The word guilty serves as a cover-up for a less acceptable emotion. When you peek underneath your guilty feelings, you may discover a whole list of emotions. The next time you feel guilty about something, ask yourself, �If I wasn�t feeling guilty, what would I be feeling?�

Today

� Write down some times when you might say you feel guilty about something.
� Ask yourself, �If I wasn�t feeling guilty, what would I be feeling? Make a list.
� Decide how you can catch yourself using the word guilty and instead, identify your real feelings.


� Write down some times when you might say you feel guilty about something.


I don't understand why guilt is not considered an emotion. When I googled " Is guilt an emotion?" I got
It's appropriate to feel guilty when you've done something wrong. Feeling the emotion of guilt for an action deserving of remorse is normal


Actions on my part deserving remorse
- hurting someone intentionally or unintentionally
- not sticking to my eating plan
- not sticking to any plan I make to improve my health and wellbeing
- not resisting temptation and doing something wrong, like stealing something that was easy to take but wasn't mine
- lying or deceiving someone
- any of the cardinal sins lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride
- breaking the 10 commandments

I think I am off track with this, here is an example where I would have a much more appropriate response if I had the book :)

.

� Ask yourself, �If I wasn�t feeling guilty, what would I be feeling? Make a list.

I don't have the list of emotions, the primary, the complex, ... I'm not sure how they all break down. Maybe guilt is a complex emotion that doesn't make you glad but can make you mad at yourself or sad about your actions and their consequences

� Decide how you can catch yourself using the word guilty and instead, identify your real feelings.

You could feel mad at yourself that you caved on something you decided not to do and then did do, you could feel mad if someone else deliberately tempted you knowing your weakness, you could feel sad that you are weaker than you want to be in resisting doing the wrong thing,, you could feel sad that you have harmed yourself, you could feel frustrated that you put effort into trying not to do this behaviour but you have done it, you could be feeling all the things on Linda's list

Disappointed
Frustrated
Irritated
Angry
Sad

Edited by: JUNEPA at: 6/14/2019 (09:24)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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YOUNG-AT-HEART's Photo YOUNG-AT-HEART Posts: 1,667
6/7/19 4:33 P

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emoticon DAY #68 emoticon

Day 68 - Guilt is not an emotion





The word guilty serves as a cover-up for a less acceptable emotion. When you peek underneath your guilty feelings, you may discover a whole list of emotions. The next time you feel guilty about something, ask yourself, If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling?

Today

Write down some times when you might say you feel guilty about something.
Im feeling guilty right now because Ive been slacking off with nutrition, exercise, and not tracking either of them. My 5% challenge ended and I suddenly lost my focus and I need to get it back on track.

Ask yourself, If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling? Make a list.
-Loss of control
-Stressed about my food, exercise, and weight
-Cheating myself when I know what I should do and dont do it
-Feeling very hungry and need to eat more
-Tired and not getting enough sleep hours and rest
-Frustrated dealing with on-going health problems
-Worried I will regain lost weight

Decide how you can catch yourself using the word guilty and instead, identify your real feelings.

I read somewhere that guilt is a useless emotion. It tries to force you to fix something that you think you did wrong and try to make up for the things I did wrong. A better approach is to stop and ask myself what I really want before I act so I make the right decision and dont need to feel guilty later. Sometimes I live my life on auto-pilot, acting without active questioning and awareness, and I go with what I feel instead of questioning myself and listening to my conscience. My mindfulness and conscience seem to take a back seat and I lose the questioning myself about what I should do and take control and own my decisions and outcomes.

-I need to forgive myself about mistakes I make
-I need to listen to my body when it tells me what it needs for food and exercise
-I need to stop being a control freak
-I need to allow myself to take breaks and days of rest and recovery
-I need to adjust my schedule for injuries
-I need to get smarter and look at the big picture of my health
-I NEED TO FORGIVE MYSELF.....








For laughs...




~~~MARILYN ~~~
Virginia - Eastern Time Zone
The worst thing to be without--hope.
The most effective sleeping pill--peace of mind.
The main reason my past diets failed--lack of motivation.
The greatest "shot in the arm"-- encouragement.


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MADAMEJEANNE's Photo MADAMEJEANNE SparkPoints: (80,104)
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6/7/19 7:54 A

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I felt guilty last night when I ate 2 frosties
What happened before: I was babysitting grandkids and doing my laundry, I was tired because of staying later,
I should say disappointed because all day I had stayed with my eating program
How can I catch myself? Hmmm need to think on this

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest unto your soul.


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,050
6/5/19 11:06 A

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emoticon emoticon
I feel disappointment when I misstep (eat off plan or skip workout)
Recover - taking one step forward and do my best in every situation


Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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SUSMANNIE's Photo SUSMANNIE Posts: 906
6/5/19 8:28 A

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Day 68 Guilt is not an emotion

The word guilty serves as a cover-up for a less acceptable emotion. When you peek underneath your guilty feelings, you may discover a whole list of emotions. The next time you feel guilty about something, ask yourself, If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling?

Today

Write down some times when you might say you feel guilty about something.

My ongoing "crisis" at work with the 'millenniel de jour', friction and my trying to handle it is unfortunately still consuming me. I've been doing really well with diet and exercise in spite of this, but last night before bed I felt hungry and ate some extra nuts and high protein granola. I felt disappointed in myself. I slipped.

Ask yourself, If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling? Make a list.

Anxious, hurt, and worried about being able to protect myself emotionally from toxic people.

Decide how you can catch yourself using the word guilty and instead, identify your real feelings.

I don't need to feel guilty about not having the exact politically correct response to immature behavior. I need to be extra kind to myself, and to tell those negative voices in my head to get lost. I am handling the situation, and am very capable of handling myself. It pushes my buttons to have to deal with someone who seems malicious, but I am an adult now. I have control of my behavior and I don't need to let negativity in.


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CAROLYNINJOY1's Photo CAROLYNINJOY1 Posts: 12,173
9/18/18 4:17 A

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100 More DWL, Day 68 Guilt is not an emotion

The word guilty serves as a cover-up for a less acceptable emotion. When you peek underneath your guilty feelings, you may discover a whole list of emotions. The next time you feel guilty about something, ask yourself, If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling?

Today

Write down some times when you might say you feel guilty about something.
Ask yourself, If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling? Make a list.
Decide how you can catch yourself using the word guilty and instead, identify your real feelings.

Guilt can be confusing. In the past I've felt guilty about the way I did things, or didn't do things.

When I was in my teens, I treated a young man very unfairly. He and I had a few dates and instead of being direct and breaking it off properly, I just wouldn't see him anymore without giving any explanation. I avoided him in every way possible.

Then I moved out of the area. I heard from relatives that he continued to look for me and finally after a few years married someone else, but had always 'carried the torch' for me. He died very young. When I heard that had happened I was overwhelmed with guilt. If I explore beneath the guilt, I recognize that I was ashamed of my behavior. I knew better than to behave like that and did it anyway. So there was a lot of ill feelings toward myself about that experience. It did teach me to do things differently.

Guilt is like a blanket thrown over a multitude of other feelings not easy to identify. I guess I'll always be a work in progress.

Joy is a Choice. Choose joy moment by moment.

When all else fails, persistence prevails.

Injoy:) Carolyn

(Arizona - Mountain Standard Time)

My personal story as a blog:
https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 27,955
8/29/18 12:33 P

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Today

Write down some times when you might say you feel guilty about something.
feeling like I'm letting someone down
feeling like a disappointment
not living up to expectations

Ask yourself, If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling? Make a list.
I'm not sure, I will have to dwell on this and write it out.

Decide how you can catch yourself using the word guilty and instead, identify your real feelings.

I will have to finish this in my journal.

~ Renee, AR, USA, CST ~ Live Aloha! ~
Make excuses or make progress.


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,592
8/25/18 10:08 A

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Day #68 Guilt IS NOT An Emotion

So what makes me feel guilty? Not meeting WHAT I PERCEIVE as the world's expectations of me. That "Should and Should Not" List. Somehow I think I have managed to get over this. I have stopped thinking that I need to be and do everything. I have stopped feeling guilty about people! There are only so many hours in a day. I prioritize what I think needs to be done. Then I set out to do the best I can. When I can't seem to meet those expectations I realize it is for a reason. It is not because there is something wrong with me such as laziness or avoidance. It is because I have run out of time or because I am tired or because I am not mentally able to face the task yet and need some mental nurturing in order to build up my tank!

I have given up feeling guilty about people and/or the world's expectations of me (or what I think those expectations are). HOWEVER, I do feel guilty about myself at times. I have learned recently the significance of having my YES MEAN YES and my NO MEAN NO. It has to do with commitment. When I say I am going to do something, such as not eat an unplanned food, and then go ahead and do it anyway I feel disappointment in myself. Guilty is just another word for it and the "crime" is against me!



Edited by: FUNLOVEN at: 8/25/2018 (10:08)
Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,008
8/25/18 12:39 A

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I might say I'm feeling guilty for not making the effort to get out and socialize more often when the opportunities and invitations arise.

.......and by "feeling guilty" I might be describing my feelings of general laziness, impatience with small talk, shyness, awkwardness, alienation, of being "different" in a bad way.





Paula -- Waco, TX area
CST zone

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,419
8/24/18 12:47 P

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Day #68 Guilt is not an emotion
Guilt is a familiar place for me, sometimes its things from the past and sometimes its the simple daily things that pop up.
Things like being too busy for a friends call so I ignore it; procrastination until no decision needs made because time has taken care of it.
If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling?
* indecisive
* lazy
* secretive
* weak
* irritated
emoticon Identifying my feelings instead of thinking guilt will take time but Im thinking of a help from another one of Lindas books which is the Stop sign.


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

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SIMPLIFY:


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,050
8/24/18 11:36 A

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Day 68 Guilt is not an emotion - Identify feelings
emoticon Gill I bookmarked and Linda your list helped write response emoticon

I feel irritated soon after I eat unplanned food. Regretful next morning when sugary, starchy, or processed food causes weight gain. Totally frustrated if I countine eating unplanned food.

I feel confident, energetic, and wise by following plan - nutritious whole foods.

Great Spark article Today. Comments say Keto controls cravings, which I found to be true. I can easily distract myself and say "not on my plan for Today."
I feel Strong and Satisfied eating LCHF.
u.nu/34ke
Missing Link: Accountability u.nu/vin5

Edited by: AURA18 at: 6/5/2019 (11:08)
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LINDASPANGLE's Photo LINDASPANGLE Posts: 108
8/24/18 10:39 A

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I love all of these examples. Great job at changing what you say about feeling guilty!

LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,298
8/24/18 9:28 A

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Day 68 - Guilt is not an emotion

Love your response, Cat! I agree with you that when I am guilty I usually am disappointed in myself. It is usually over small things and I accept my humanity enough to forgive myself and try to do better.

I had kind of a strong response to the title of this lesson though. My immediate thought was, "OH YES! Guilt is an emotion!".......then I read the lesson and could see where she was going. Once again Linda makes her point and she is right.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,404
8/24/18 7:52 A

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Day 68 Guilt is not an emotion







emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Cat, in Florida
Eastern Time Zone


Pounds lost in 2020......


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FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
8/24/18 6:29 A

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I felt guilty that my checkbook was out of balance by $9.02. I am a banker, my checkbook should always be in balance! Then again, there is a whole generation of people that don't keep a checkbook register at all.

What was I really feeling?

-angry
-frustrated
-brainless???

I took the time this morning to go over my register again and found that I had transposed a number and had an entry as $254 instead of $245 and that I had another one written for the wrong amount of cents.

I'm often doing my checkbook in a hurry. I need to learn to monotask.

It's all in balance now. I can stop feeling guilty!

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,795
8/24/18 3:20 A

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Well, I felt bad about eating the chocolate, belonging to my colleague, in the staff cupboard on Wednesday evening. I felt guilty. On Thursday I bought him a replacement! On Friday evening at work the woman working the night shift came in with a packet of biscuits - to replace the ones she'd eaten the night before! She is obese; I am a healthy weight: we have the same problem. Can't eat one biscuit, or one square of chocolate AND we eat stuff that is not ours, when no-one is looking! We had a conversation about this.

We both used the word 'guilty'. In a sense, we WERE guilty - it's theft!

What were my underlying feelings? I'll look at Linda's list....

Ashamed
Embarrassed
Disgusted
Humiliated
Regretful
Weak
Sorry

It was good to have that conversation with my colleague.
It was easy to forgive her because I know how it feels to be left alone with a packet of biscuits!
Therefore, I forgive myself.




Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 8/24/2018 (03:24)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
5/8/18 10:06 P

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Day 68 Guilt is not an emotion

The word guilty serves as a cover-up for a less acceptable emotion. When you peek underneath your guilty feelings, you may discover a whole list of emotions. The next time you feel guilty about something, ask yourself, If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling?

Today

Write down some times when you might say you feel guilty about something.
Ask yourself, If I wasnt feeling guilty, what would I be feeling? Make a list.
Decide how you can catch yourself using the word guilty and instead, identify your real feelings.

Link to day 67 www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
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94x69021079


Link to day 69
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
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Edited by: FOCUSONME57 at: 5/19/2018 (16:46)
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