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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 22,970
4/22/20 4:36 P

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I think one of the reasons I can so easily allow my eating behaviours to cause weight to come back on is so that I can become less amazing..........kind of fade into frumpy obscurity! Just don't notice me; I'm just an unspectacular old woman with a spare tyre.

When I am slimmer I'm a lot more extrovert and aware of my body.

So when I fade, less is expected of me.........and it reduces pressure..

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 4/22/2020 (16:40)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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“Keep your waist to less than half your height.”


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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 15,561
4/22/20 12:09 P

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Day 78 - Self Sabotage

I remember when I was a child (9), and 10 years younger than my oldest sister (19) who was in college, that one of her friends who was very intelligent, good at school, good at practical things, excellent at anything she tried, and was also very overweight. As a child I was strong, active, athletic, the right weight for my age and height. My sister said her friend ate for emotional reasons. That was the first time I had heard of someone eating for reasons other than hunger, and, believe it or not, seems like not a good thought now, but I thought, if this very smart and capable person ate for emotional reasons, that it was okay to eat for emotional reasons. When my teen age emotions raged later, I ate for emotional reasons. And also because I had a friend during my teenage years who also ate for emotional reasons. My sister's friend's issues were that she was from a family of 5 girls and no boys and she was tall and strong and often attracted the comment that she should have been a boy. She felt too tall to be a girl and unaccepted not only as a girl, but also because she was smarter than most people. She didn't feel normal and she felt unaccepted.

Can't blame someone else for why I eat, I am the one who puts the food in my mouth. But those were the origins, in my case, of eating for emotional reasons, which self-sabotages my health and well-being if I eat too much and eat unhealthy food like sugary and fatty foods that are soothing.

And, right now I am in a positive emotional state regarding sticking to my eating plan, so disordered eating due to emotions seems silly, but it is all emotional, positive emotions (right now) equals ease at sticking to a healthy eating plan while negative emotions (they will swing around again, at the beginning of this challenge, I was in a negative emotional phase) equals strong temptations to soothe eat and self-sabotage. OneKidsMom says how we eat (us emotional eaters) is all about what is going on between our ears.

Edited by: JUNEPA at: 4/22/2020 (12:11)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 12,458
4/22/20 12:02 P

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• Prevent self-sabotage when I reach goal --- again! emoticon
• Simple: don't buy food not on my plan: 30 emoticon 30 emoticon 40 emoticon
• Keep learning emoticon ways to manage weight in healthy range

video u.nu/qaqwa Herbs and Spices u.nu/635jn u.nu/zen-9 u.nu/9tsfj

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MADAMEJEANNE's Photo MADAMEJEANNE SparkPoints: (83,342)
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4/22/20 11:09 A

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#78 Self sabotage
1. Times I do it: afternoon snack, evening snack, middle of the night
Most of the time it is “emotional eating”
Sometimes my desire for food that is not good for me simply because “I want it”
2. Fear of goal weight
A. Regaining my weight- I have did this 35 years ago and still working my weigh back down
B.still looking pudgy
3. Plan ways to manage each of theses things
A. Emotional eating- stick to plan, pray, exercise, play my harp, call a friend
B.follow a maintenance plan of Bright Line Eating
C.exercise
D. Be accountable on SparkPeople and to family


Matthew 11:28 Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest unto your soul.


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 3,164
4/22/20 9:52 A

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DAY #78 SELF-SABOTAGE

Funny to me how the name of today's example is Suzanne. That is my name also and I have also wondered, at times, why I keep sabotaging myself as if I don't want to reach my goal.

Linda suggests that some people have an unconscious need to stay overweight as a sort of safety net. NOPE. That is not me. I have absolutely no desire to be overweight!

But the fact is that weight loss is hard. Calories out need to exceed calories in and that means giving up foods & drinks that you enjoy. More than likely it will also mean making permanent life style changes. All hard things to do when in the BIG PICUTURE you're view is LIFE IS GOOD! It can make it difficult to hold on to your WHY.

Also, the closer you get to your goal weight the slower the weight seems to come off. The slower the weight comes off the longer the entire process takes. This can feel like it is a never ending process which can then lead to feelings of defeat and depression. It is this way with any crisis that a person deals with as we think "Will this ever end? Will my life ever feel normal again?"

Sounds like I'm referring to Covid-19, doesn't it. Well, I'm not, but our bodies regard weight loss as a stressor just like it perceives Covid-19 as a stressor. Our bodies don't know the difference between one stressor and another!

This is all IMHO, of course, but as our bodies seek a NEW NORMAL I think we should expect some fluctuation in our weight loss effort, be kind to ourselves, and keep pushing until our new habits are firmly in place..

When we look back I think many of us can say:

YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY! ! !



Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 14,280
4/22/20 7:29 A

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Day 78 Self-sabotage
This is an ongoing issue in my life. I have lost and regained the same few pounds for the past three years.

Still going for goal though because taking care of those same pounds is better than starting over with more! emoticon


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
I can not say it enough~ Procrastination is the thief of time.
Stop waiting for another day to start over. Every choice counts, so start RIGHT NOW.


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 3,164
6/26/19 8:58 A

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DAY #78 SELF-SABOTAGE

Yes. I am still familiar with this old song & dance of lose and regain. This is what I wrote last review:

Linda says that sometimes people who sabotage themselves have an unconscious need to stay overweight. I do not think that is my issue. However, I am afraid of the hard work I know it takes to lose weight. I have been putting the "task" off. And then there is the question of re-gain! I'm familiar with this too and the diligence it is going to take to keep the lost weight off.

By this time I have more of an acceptance regarding the work involved in losing weight and keeping it off. And when Linda asks us to "figure out what's really in your way of being at a healthier weight" I had a new thought -

FEAR! I'm not talking about the acronym Gill gave us (False Expectations Appear Real). No. I'm thinking of the fear of living a boring life because it is so healthy I can't indulge myself. I'm thinking of the fear that I will stand out and be different from the people we hang with. I'm thinking of fear of being ridiculed for making meal selection so difficult for others we are dining out with.

All I can give as an answer to this dilemma right now is that change is hard and so is overcoming your fears!

Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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YOUNG-AT-HEART's Photo YOUNG-AT-HEART Posts: 2,878
6/20/19 6:20 P

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emoticon DAY #78 emoticon

Day 78 - Self-sabotage







Sometimes it takes a lot of soul-searching to figure out what's really in your way of being at a healthier weight. You may need to ask yourself some hard questions about what's keeping you from being successful. Overcoming self-sabotage requires building a trust that you will be strong and safe at any weight.





Today

• Identify places in life where you might be sabotaging yourself.

Giving myself high-calorie treats and not exercising.

• Make a list of things you are fearful of or that might not be good when you reach your goal weight.

Worried about regaining weight again like I have done in the past. Sometimes it feels like a struggle to keep on the right path and continue this healthy lifestyle. Pounds start creeping up and I work hard to lose them and stay in my +/-3% range of my center weight. Can’t think of any reason I don’t want to reach/maintain my goal weight.

• Plan ways to manage each of the things on your list.
Daily weigh-ins help me stay aware of gaining weight.
Continuing with group challenges forces active awareness and support.
Daily nutrition tracking to stay in calorie range helps set boundaries for me.





~~~MARILYN ~~~
Virginia - Eastern Time Zone
The worst thing to be without--hope.
The main reason my past diets failed--lack of motivation.


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 14,280
6/20/19 5:34 A

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Day 78 Self-sabotage
This is an ongoing issue in my life. I have lost and regained the same few pounds for the past two years.
Still going for goal though.

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
I can not say it enough~ Procrastination is the thief of time.
Stop waiting for another day to start over. Every choice counts, so start RIGHT NOW.


 current weight: 174.5 
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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 28,107
6/19/19 9:49 P

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I can relate to all the posting!

I'm also mid-range in the healthy BMI chart, but know that I feel much better 5 pounds less than I am now. I'm considerably lighter than I was most of my adult life, so people have commented that I'm thin enough....when if they saw a stranger on the street my same height, weight and proportions they wouldn't consider her too thin. So my self sabotage involves being complacent with where I am now when the snacking urge hits. I don't quite feel the same way the next morning as I'm going through my closet and wanting to wear those slightly snug pants.


Paula -- Waco, TX area
CST zone

SP 4 Cornerstones
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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 15,561
6/19/19 5:10 P

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Day 78 Self-sabotage

Sometimes it takes a lot of soul-searching to figure out what's really in your way of being at a healthier weight. You may need to ask yourself some hard questions about what's keeping you from being successful. Overcoming self-sabotage requires building a trust that you will be strong and safe at any weight.

Today

• Identify places in life where you might be sabotaging yourself.
• Make a list of things you are fearful of or that might not be good when you reach your goal weight.
• Plan ways to manage each of the things on your list.

• Identify places in life where you might be sabotaging yourself.

My hugest weakness because I know what I need to do, but there is a gap (self-sabotage) between knowing what to do and doing it

- not sticking to my plan
- not consistently making a plan at least the day before
- knowing I have to eat less calories than I burn if I want to lose weight, and wanting to get to goal weight, but eating too many calories anyway
- too many incidences of "rewarding" myself with food with just an extra bite or two here and there
- eating too much because the food is very delicious
- my weaknesses are lack of determined focus, laziness and gluttony

• Make a list of things you are fearful of or that might not be good when you reach your goal weight.

- the hard part of maintaining is being hungry sometimes and I don't want to be hungry,
- not wanting to hear and defend that I am too thin, at goal weight I am still 20.3 on the BMI index with the normal range being 18.5 - 24.5, but because I have lived most of my life 10-20 pounds over goal weight, and people are used to me at that weight, I often attract the comment that I am too thin
- not wanting at my age (61) to gain wrinkles especially on my face and neck as I lose weight
- settling for being at a pretty good weight and fitness level and not pushing for my optimum weight and fitness level

• Plan ways to manage each of the things on your list.

- embrace the challenge of doing what I know I need to do to reach goal weight and fitness, and the satisfaction of getting there and staying there

Edited by: JUNEPA at: 6/19/2019 (22:52)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 10,332
6/19/19 10:26 A

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This is going to take some deep thinking. I do know that sometimes it's just laziness on my part. I don't want to always plan, plan, plan. However, I do know what happens when I don't plan.

I do not like exercise but I know that's a must. So I've been working and working on it. I used to just let it slide. Not healthy in so many ways.


This is a lesson that I'll keep thinking about. I think my self-sabotage is making excuses as to why I do or do not do certain things.

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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CAROLYNINJOY1's Photo CAROLYNINJOY1 Posts: 12,173
9/21/18 5:31 A

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100 More DWL, Day 78 Self-sabotage

Sometimes it takes a lot of soul-searching to figure out what's really in your way of being at a healthier weight. You may need to ask yourself some hard questions about what's keeping you from being successful. Overcoming self-sabotage requires building a trust that you will be strong and safe at any weight.

Today

• Identify places in life where you might be sabotaging yourself.
• Make a list of things you are fearful of or that might not be good when you reach your goal weight.
• Plan ways to manage each of the things on your list.

In the past self-sabotage was common for me. I was not able at that time to analyze my behaviors. Since I've been doing these lessons, the hard questions (and hard answers) are helping me continue to be successful.

What might not be good when I reach my goal weight? I honestly can't think of anything. Because of the length of time it is taking me to reach it, I'll have plenty of opportunities to make this discovery.

Joy is a Choice. Choose joy moment by moment.

When all else fails, persistence prevails.

Injoy:) Carolyn

(Arizona - Mountain Standard Time)

My personal story as a blog:
https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
ublic_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6
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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 3,164
9/4/18 8:14 A

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Day #78 Self-Sabotage

I think Linda wrote another lesson just for me! Suzanne (that is actually my official name) can't figure out why I keep sabotaging my success. It's almost like I don't want to reach my goal. After basically staying the same weight (yo-yo up & down 8#) for the past 5 years you would think I would get the picture that something is going on with me!

Linda says that sometimes people who sabotage themselves have an unconscious need to stay overweight. I do not think that is my issue. However, I am afraid of the hard work I know it takes to lose weight. I have been putting the "task" off. And then there is the question of re-gain! I'm familiar with this too and the diligence it is going to take to keep the lost weight off.

I have a real tendency to easily get depressed and have low self-esteem issues. I have worked hard on my life so that I feel in balance emotionally. I have gotten rid of almost all of the garbage that effects me negatively. I still have some work to do, but I can honestly say that I can't remember the last time I felt overwhelmed with depressed feelings.

My motto still remains: BALANCE - EMOTION - SPIRIT - MIND - BODY!

Linda gives us a final reminder that overcoming self-sabotage requires building a trust that I will be strong and that I need to do the work required on self-talk and inner power that will help me trust myself to reach my goal!


Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 10,332
9/3/18 10:57 A

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Like Gloria I can repeat everything that has been said.

I've done this to myself. I know it. I also 'know' that I am in control (when I 'take' control). I can and will get rid of the weight. For me it's a matter of patience and kindness towards myself. I'm very hard on myself and I expect a lot of myself. That's OK to a point.

I'm not into self-sabotage as much as I used to be. I am still my own worst enemy most of the time. Today we're grilling. I'm not making mac 'n cheese, potato salad - none of those things. Would I like them? You bet. BUT I have some fresh veggies and I love them too. Everyone else is free to have and make what they want.



Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,331
9/3/18 9:09 A

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Well.....I can echo everything that has been said here. I can’t be around sweets because I will give in. If someone says tomorrow you can start again, I agree and eat it. I guess I am my own worst enemy at times, and I’m trying not to allow anyone or any circumstance to prevent me from reaching my goals.
Why am I such a push over when it comes to making good decisions? Why can’t I be stronger and feel good about myself the next day instead of thinking.....why did you eat that?
Today is Labor Day.....a holiday which gives us excuses to cheat. Will I make good choices? Will you? Here’s hoping tomorrow we will feel good about our choices! emoticon

One day at a time!


Gloria.
EST Pennsylvania
2017 Spring 5% Challenge Tiger Monarchs
Biggest Loser Summer Challenge Golden Phoenix
Biggest Loser Fall Challenge Golden Phoenix 2017


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 22,970
9/3/18 6:52 A

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I know that self-sabotage is my weakest link. But because I am already what is considered to be a 'healthy weight' the behaviour, the justification, the effects even, are less obviously self-sabotage.

I've been 30lbs heavier than I am now, and I was not happy to be there. I put on a pile of weight after my marriage broke down and I got depressed. I evidently tried to fill the emotional abyss with calories - and succeeded!

When I lost weight again, I lost about 14lbs, and everyone said I was OK at that weight. But you know what? I still felt frumpy and encumbered by my body fat.

Over the past three years I've lost the other 14 or so lbs, and have been in maintenance at around 112lbs - give or take 3lbs up/down.

I've got a goal of being 109lbs. I'm a very small-framed 5'3" woman and I do have extra weight on my skeleton. I like feeling slim - but I've never managed to sustain it for long. My weight has always drifted back up to the 112-117lbs region, and no-one but me will notice this.

So, in terms of self-sabotage I identified with two things Linda said in this lesson:
(1) "maybe you don't think you deserve to be thin
(2) or worry that it will be too hard to maintain a lower weight."

I cannot imagine why I sabotage myself. I have made progress this summer in finally buying smaller size clothes! I even bought a new sports bra in a smaller size and didn't think I should buy the larger one 'in case I put on weight' - but more with the thought that I'm going to get smaller. I also bought a summer dress in the sale (put away for next year) - it fits, but is a size smaller than I'd usually wear - I am confident and determined that I will be smaller next summer.

So why might I not think I deserve to be thin?
- because no-one in my family have ever been thin - I think it's just not possible?
- because family had criticized my efforts to be slim when I was a teenager - suggesting that I was just 'holding it in' or trying to 'melt it away' in the bath - in other words, mocking my efforts.
- because I'm not perfect with my eating behaviour

Why do I worry that it would be too difficult to maintain?
- because I've slipped before and regained weight
- because I'm not perfect with my eating behaviour
- because it is hard work and I get tired
- because I know how easily fitness is lost and weight gained
- because I do believe that it is difficult

I think, for me, a couple of affirmative statements added to my vision board would be helpful. They need to convey these two messages:-
- I deserve to be thin
- it is easy to maintain my weight

I'll find a way to express this in a memorable way. Here are a couple of motivational quotes I found on Spark





Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 9/3/2018 (07:11)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


“Keep your waist to less than half your height.”


 current weight: 7.3  over
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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 29,640
9/3/18 5:50 A

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Day 78 Self-sabotage




Cat, in Florida
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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
9/3/18 4:17 A

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I find I am less likely to self sabotage if I have the right types of food readily available. I get into trouble when I'm surrounded by sugary foods and don't have a fresh fruit or vegetable option to defer to.

The only concern I have as far as goal weight is the excess skin I know I will have. I am going to just relax about that and deal with it when the time comes. I don't have the funds or desire to have surgery to have it removed, it will just be part of my "badge of honor" for getting there.

AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 12,458
8/27/18 6:05 A

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Day 78
Requires discipline and building a trust that I will be strong and safe at any weight. Fearful of not maintaining healthy habits - dreaded Regain.
Solutions - Reframe thoughts u.nu/bgte bit.ly/2wqQwEa
u.nu/m8xb bit.ly/2MQsqgp bit.ly/2P9TYLi
u.nu/qaqwa u.nu/9tsfj
u.nu/063k u.nu/xgnk

Edited by: AURA18 at: 4/22/2020 (22:53)
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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
5/8/18 10:15 P

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Day 78 Self-sabotage

Sometimes it takes a lot of soul-searching to figure out what's really in your way of being at a healthier weight. You may need to ask yourself some hard questions about what's keeping you from being successful. Overcoming self-sabotage requires building a trust that you will be strong and safe at any weight.

Today

• Identify places in life where you might be sabotaging yourself.
• Make a list of things you are fearful of or that might not be good when you reach your goal weight.
• Plan ways to manage each of the things on your list.


Link to Day 77 www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
58x211
94x69021131


Link to Day 79
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
58x211
94x69021144


Edited by: CD13384562 at: 5/19/2018 (17:01)
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