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YOUNG-AT-HEART's Photo YOUNG-AT-HEART Posts: 1,673
7/19/19 8:52 P

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emoticon DAY #94 emoticon

Day 94 - Donít say these things



Negative dieting phrases donít actually change your behavior. Instead, they reinforce your sense of failure and often make things worse. Itís time to eliminate these phrases and use healthier ones instead.

Today

ē Which of the phrases in this lesson are you most likely to say? Write them down.

-I canít resist temptation
-I canít stay on my diet
-I cheated on my diet
-I blew it
-I was good
-I was bad
-I canít

Every time you tell yourself you can't do something (or tell yourself any other kind of negative idea) you only serve to cement it as a truth. Switching "I can't" to "I can" will strengthen your resolve.



ē Draw a line through those phrases to indicate you wonít say them anymore.



ē For each one, create a positive phrase thatís the opposite of the old one.
Negative dieting phrases donít actually change behavior instead they reinforce a sense of failure and often make things worse. Itís time to eliminate those negative phrases and replace them with healthier ones instead.

-I canít resist temptation - I will resist temptation
-I canít stay on my diet - I choose to eat healthy food
-I cheated on my diet - food is not illegal or immoral so there is no "cheating" involved
-I blew it - I made a mistake and I will fix it
-I was good - I do not judge my behavior, I eat healthy foods.
-I was bad - I donít judge my behavior, I follow my healthy eating plan
-I canít - I donít want that!






~~~MARILYN ~~~
Virginia - Eastern Time Zone
The worst thing to be without--hope.
The most effective sleeping pill--peace of mind.
The main reason my past diets failed--lack of motivation.
The greatest "shot in the arm"-- encouragement.


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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,650
7/15/19 1:58 A

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100 More DWL - Day 94 Donít say these things

Sadly at some time I have said all these things but now I tend to be kinder to myself and talk about the 'Choices' I have made with my food. I realise I cannot cheat on my plan as no food it restricted! I try to make the best choice I can with my food and drink each day, guess I've been 'Spangled!'

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
ROADTOFREEDOM's Photo ROADTOFREEDOM Posts: 1,830
7/11/19 12:37 P

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I used to go to TOPS.

Honestly, it can be a great group for some people, but it wasn't for me.

If you asked a member that you hadn't seen since last meeting how their week went or how they were, they would say things like "I gained a pound" or "I was bad" or something along that line. A good week to them meant that they lost a bit or didn't binge.

I was asking how they were and what was going on with them. Because I actually gave a hoot and hoped to get to know them. I didn't care that they ate too much at the buffet or had some chocolate cake. If they wanted to tell me deeper reasons about the why of the binge, then I would have been all ears and I would have cared about that.

Rant over.

Me, I put myself down a lot. Words I say out loud and thoughts that run through my mind. In my mind, I'm never enough.

Enough of that rubbish.

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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,231
7/11/19 11:30 A

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Day 94 Donít say these things

Negative dieting phrases donít actually change your behavior. Instead, they reinforce your sense of failure and often make things worse. Itís time to eliminate these phrases and use healthier ones instead.

Today

ē Which of the phrases in this lesson are you most likely to say? Write them down.
ē Draw a line through those phrases to indicate you wonít say them anymore.
ē For each one, create a positive phrase thatís the opposite of the old one.

ē Which of the phrases in this lesson are you most likely to say? Write them down.


"I am terrible" "I shouldn't have eaten that" "I'm so fat" "I'm useless"
"I cheated on my diet"
"I blew it"
"I was good"
"I was bad"
"I can't..."


ē Draw a line through those phrases to indicate you wonít say them anymore.

None of the above

I do say I feel lame when I keep trying and never get there.

ē For each one, create a positive phrase thatís the opposite of the old one.


Instead, I am going to try to stay in the moment, get back on track right away, say STOP now and make good choices for the rest of the day.

Because I say I feel lame when reflecting later and letting myself slide. I am going to try to stop the slide earlier. Say STOP now and make good choices for the rest of the day.

Just because one egg broke, no need to break the whole dozen.
Just because the freeway exit was missed, no need to keep driving down the freeway for the rest of the day.
Just because one red light was run, no need to run red lights for the rest of the day.
Just because of a trip on the stair, no need to roll all the way to the bottom.
...
Although those have a negative ring, they are a reminder to stay in the moment, not go for a slide and deal with it later.

Say STOP now and make good choices for the rest of the day.
I like it. Thanks Linda


Edited by: JUNEPA at: 7/11/2019 (11:32)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,605
7/11/19 8:18 A

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DAY #94 DON'T SAY THESE THINGS - ROUND 2

I had forgotten all about this lesson from Linda. So I am glad to revisit it. I find the concept very powerful! Last round I wrote:

What you think determines -
How you feel. And how you feel determines -
What you do!

I still use the descriptive negative words Linda writes about, but I am using them less often now days. Still, the process of turning a negative into a positive deserves a refresher for me.

*I Cheated On My Diet - food is neither illegal or immoral therefore there is no "cheating" involved

*I Blew It - is an open invitation to eat all you want; better to say you had a misstep or pause

*I Was Good - don't apply behavioral codes to your food b/c they have nothing to do with your character

*I Was Bad - don't label food as good or bad; instead refer to your Choice of allowed or not allowed

I Can't . . . - every time you tell yourself you can't do something (or tell yourself any other kind of negative idea) you only serve to cement it as a truth. Switching "I can't" to "I can" will strengthen your resolve

YES emoticon !

Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,450
7/11/19 8:04 A

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Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. ďNever give up on the dream!Ē


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,863
7/11/19 5:02 A

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I am so grateful to Spark People for giving us a place to leave all our posts and comments. I've just completely re-inspired myself by re-reading what I posted last time - I'd forgotten it!

Two helpful tips from me to me:

(1) when trying to resist temptation - focus on controlling the hand - if the hand doesn't reach for the food it's not going to end up in my mouth! This is a trick from addiction theory (12-step) - change the focus of control.

(2) instead of trying to use 'no' to control my urges, say 'yes, and.........' to give me back control. My brain has heard 'no' so many times it no longer takes any notice! 'yes, and........' gives me time to consider the consequences.

You can read more about these techniques in my earlier post if you're interested. I'm glad to have reminded myself!



Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 7/11/2019 (08:41)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,605
9/21/18 8:53 A

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Day #94 Don't Say These Things

I Cheated On My Diet
I Blew It
I Was Good
I Was Bad
I Can't . . .

I have used all of these phrases in the past. I have been at this journey for so long and tried so many phrases, in fact, that when I find myself doing self-talk I don't bother listening! I sound like a broken record when I say these things!

I really believe that :

WHAT YOU THINK determines
HOW YOU FEEL and how you feel determines
WHAT YOU DO

I loved Gill's idea about saying "Yes" instead of "No" It is a more positive approach and acknowledges the temptation so there is no rebellion.

I loved Gloria's quote and saved to my computer.

I loved Susan's reminder about the Wide and Narrow Paths and not to let ourselves fall into the ditch and roll around in the muck!

So what did I tell myself last night at dinner?

I resisted the Salad Bar. DH did bring a plate of Buffalo Wings to the table saying "Here I brought you these". I replied "Oh how kind!" but in my head I was thinking "Darn, I always want to encourage thoughtfulness and kindness so now I better eat a couple".

I ordered a Taco Salad instead of a Burger because, although I know it is high calories, I thought it was a healthier option since I kept thinking about needing French Fries along with the burger. Also, I just used Salsa as my dressing w/o Sour Cream.

While I was eating my Taco Salad I recognized that I was getting full. I also noticed that everyone around me was done eating and wondered "Am I eating that slowly or was my serving that much bigger?". I decided it may have been a little of both. However, I did finish my salad despite feeling fullness. What did I tell myself? "I am really enjoying this. It is so good. I can't remember the last time I had a Taco Salad. Who knows when I will have one again."

Even though I recognized all of these thoughts they did not lead me to beat myself up about my mistakes or how I could have been better. If it wasn't for this lesson, I wouldn't have given last night another thought. And there, perhaps, lies the problem. I have stopped thinking!

I am going to try Gill's "YES" approach and I am going to try visualizing Rolling Around In The Muck the next time I am faced with a temptation.

Edited by: FUNLOVEN at: 9/21/2018 (10:19)
Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,848
9/20/18 12:02 P

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Oh this one is interesting too! I've used all those phrases but that was in the past. I like being in control of what I eat and it's taken me a long time to realize that I am in control. What I tend to say - to myself if no one else is - I shouldn't eat (whatever) but I am "allowing" myself a small piece/portion/bite/serving - whatever fits. That way at a birthday party I 'allow' myself to have a small taste of the cake. Or a small serving of potato salad. I'm working on these things. You all have wonderful ideas too.

Gloria, love the picture!

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,164
9/19/18 11:22 P

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I have learned one by one to pretty much give up all of the 5 phrases Linda discusses. The one that I still might say is that "I can't " have certain, addictive sweets or foods in my home. I'm not sure that can't is the right word, maybe shouldn't is better. All I know is that some things are hard to resist and wisdom dictates that it is wise to keep these temptations out of the house..



Edited by: GOCALGAL at: 9/20/2018 (09:15)
Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,065
9/19/18 1:01 P

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emoticon emoticon quote Gloria emoticon

Day 94 Donít say these things (and eat more)
"I try to catch it early when I might be tempted to eat more because I "blew it." I tell myself to stop NOW, and make great choices the rest of the day." ~Linda.
I'm getting better at stopping sabotaging thoughts before eating.
If I eat unplanned food, I can stop and use distractions.
Food is more emoticon or less emoticon nutritious; replaces good and bad labels. I can look at sweets without eating. I know how sweets taste from experience.
emoticon This is hard, I give-up. --- I can find a way to maintain healthy habits by observing others: Sparks and people I see every day - Community
Bandura's social learning theory. bit.ly/2NgEeJU wikihow.com/Learn-Faster Age 16, I worked at a nursing home - reflecting on health behaviors about 40-50 years ago. Eating was a daily task, same as dressing (no big deal). Three mealtimes, smaller portions and eat slow at the table till satisfied. Head nurse would let meals be skipped if they weren't hungry. u.nu/4tod u.nu/79oe u.nu/jaxg

Edited by: AURA18 at: 9/20/2018 (14:06)
Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
9/19/18 10:55 A

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I have been guilty of saying just about all the things Linda wrote about.

I also agree that "I had a pause" is also like saying "I gave myself a license to eat uncontrably".

What I can say that is more positive might include

"With persistence, not perfection I will reach my goal"

In one of the 100 days lessons we learn about narrow roads and wider roads. Occasionally taking the wider road without falling into the ditch and rolling in the muck is one way to help me still stay "on plan" while enjoying Holidays and other larger family functions, which thankfully are not that many.

Another lesson talks about the dot calendar and how 85-90% perfection will yield results.

I am a work in progress. Project Healthy Susan has no end date!

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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,326
9/19/18 8:01 A

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Gill....I like those ideas about tricking your brain.......I will try them for sure!

I find myself saying ďmaybe just oneĒ........ĒI deserve thisĒ..........Ēoh it will taste so goodĒ........or ď why did I eat thatĒ

I believe in the power of attraction, and what I say or think will affect the outcome, so I have to remind myself how to speak and think.

I have been eating mindfully and much slower than usual, and it seems to be working......I lost two pounds!
Yesterday I ate an apple and enjoyed it so much more and didnít do anything else but that, no distractions.........what a difference in the taste!
Just remember we are in this journey together.........my cyber buddies!! emoticon emoticon

Edited by: GLORIAZ at: 9/19/2018 (08:06)
One day at a time!


Gloria.
EST Pennsylvania
2017 Spring 5% Challenge Tiger Monarchs
Biggest Loser Summer Challenge Golden Phoenix
Biggest Loser Fall Challenge Golden Phoenix 2017


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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,446
9/19/18 7:31 A

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Day 94 Donít say these things



Cat, in Florida
Eastern Time Zone


Pounds lost in 2020......


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,450
9/19/18 6:07 A

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Day #94 Donít say these things
I cheated on my diet; I Blew it; I was good; I was bad; I canít resist!

All of these phrases have been eliminated from my talk about how and what I eat on a normal day because of past lessons from Linda Spangle books.

However Iím not sure those phrases have been eliminated from my thoughts when I look back on what some of my days were like!


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. ďNever give up on the dream!Ē


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,863
9/19/18 1:48 A

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When I find myself caving in to temptations I don't say any of these things, but the nearest match is "I blew it!" My thoughts are usually along the self-admonishment and disappointment route.

"I had a pause" is useful, and it usually makes me laugh. But it still doesn't have the power to stop me from wrecking the rest of the day - it almost makes it legitimate.

I've come across two new ideas recently - which I will experiment with. One is from a book called The Dry Drunk and is based on 12-step addiction theory: there the writer suggests that you have to stop the hand from reaching......so you employ will-power to your hand; focus on stopping the hand from reaching rather than running yourself a dialogue about the food. I have used this successfully at work recently when spying chocolate on the top shelf. And I also used it to stop my hand even opening the cupboard. I don't know if it will always work, but it does seem easier to control the hand to intercept the impulse to get a certain food into my mouth!

The other thing I just came across was a habit trick from a book called Body Thrive. When you get the idea to do something you don't want to do (like eating chocolate) instead of saying "No, but......" You say " Yes, and........ "

Here's my example: I come across some lonely chocolate in the staff cupboard and have the impulse to reach for it & get it in my mouth! If I am in the will-power mode, it goes "No - you know you shouldn't but - a little bit won't hurt......you know you want to.......noone will miss it.......". However if I go " Yes, and..... " it forces me to take responsibility for the knock-on effects: "Yes, and you know you can't stop at one piece.....you know you will regret it........you know you don't want to............it belongs to Mr XYZ..... it's the addict who wants it..........you can choose not to eat this........you can walk away now..........."

"No" is just a word I have ignored so many times it no longer has any power over chocolate!
"Yes" gives me permission - so no rebellion is required! Weird, isn't it? We have to learn to trick our own brains.



Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 9/19/2018 (01:53)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
5/8/18 10:27 P

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Day 94 Donít say these things

Negative dieting phrases donít actually change your behavior. Instead, they reinforce your sense of failure and often make things worse. Itís time to eliminate these phrases and use healthier ones instead.

Today

ē Which of the phrases in this lesson are you most likely to say? Write them down.
ē Draw a line through those phrases to indicate you wonít say them anymore.
ē For each one, create a positive phrase thatís the opposite of the old one.

Link to Day 93 www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
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geboard_thread.asp?board=200
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94x69021191


Link to Day 95
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
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Edited by: FOCUSONME57 at: 5/19/2018 (17:21)
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