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1/31/20 8:05 P

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Very true, I like a certain band, because I literally feel the music, it is almost as though the music, the lyrics, were written for me and my situation when I get that depressed or feeling my past catching up with me or whatever. I've stopped listening to that band, as much as I love their music. I just can't do it. It makes me sink deeper into depression while listening to songs like "Happy" I may not feel at the moment, can sometimes at least bring a weak smile to my face.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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MOMPOIRIER's Photo MOMPOIRIER Posts: 735
1/31/20 6:24 P

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Wise words.

I found this to be true when my kids were little and watching re-runs of the "Peanuts". I found myself feeling very down and realized that I was identifying with Charlie Brown and his feelings of frequent rejection. Once I stopped watching them I was better.

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1/31/20 6:00 P

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6. Surrounding yourself with sadness. When feeling bad, an occasional cry from a sad movie, novel or emotional song can be quite cathartic. You might find you feel a bit better afterwards.

But if you constantly dive into pursuits that are depressing—just because you're feeling sad—there's a pretty good chance you'll continue to feel those emotions.

You might not feel like laughing, but an occasional lighthearted comedy or hangout with your funniest friend can do wonders to help lift your spirits. A good laugh is often the best medicine—especially when a good cry is no longer helping you feel better.

Will put this on a new Discussion Thread

Joyce, a Daughter of the King, that is, a Princess!
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12/29/19 1:20 A

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That is a good idea, I may do that. Thank you.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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MOMPOIRIER's Photo MOMPOIRIER Posts: 735
12/27/19 12:17 P

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A therapist once told me that making a list of accomplishments and referring to it helps to decrease negative self thoughts. I have found it to be true.

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12/27/19 3:58 A

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MOMPOIRIER, it is so easy to get into negative self talk! I find myself holding myself up to standards that are ridiculous and when I don't meet them, the negative self talk begins. And then the binge eating begins. Not that my binge eating looks like most, I have diabetes, so a tiny bowl of caramel popcorn could be too much if I don't eat it at a meal and have it with protein. I can't have sweet snacks.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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MOMPOIRIER's Photo MOMPOIRIER Posts: 735
12/25/19 8:23 A

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Negative self-talk is a definite trap for me. I have to be mindful of my thoughts especially if I should not eat the healthiest or forgo my exercising.

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12/8/19 10:47 P

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Definitely binged tonight...self-medicating with food...yep. Tomorrow is a new day.


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12/8/19 3:06 A

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I agree that not self-medicating with food is harder than other things because we have to eat. I want to eat stuff that tastes good. It has taken me a long time to realize the healthy food I make does taste good. I just have to put in some effort to find recipes I like and make them.

Kristi

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."
Mark Twain

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult."
Seneca


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12/7/19 6:56 A

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I agree, Thank you Kristi.

I stopped self medicating with alcohol a long time ago, when I realized how bad I had gotten, I dropped it like the bad habit it was. I wish I could do that with food! You can completely stop alcohol, but food... you still have to eat. I stopped for almost two years, I was doing really good. Then my dad died. And all the things unsaid bubbled up. And then things about his will and mess came up, and I didn't want anything to do with it, but my brother would not stop emailing me. So I gained 26 pounds over 4-5 months. I'm working on getting it off, but having had those comfort foods again and gone so far off my diet, it is hard to get back on it.

It may seem weird, but I've found that following a very strict routine with food is what works best for me. Cherry shake for breakfast, because it is thinner and I have never been a breakfast person. Chocolate shake with bananas and strawberries that have been frozen for lunch because I'm usually more hungry by lunch. I'm not supposed to snack, but I've found that having some grace for myself as I'm getting back to my normal eating routine is best, so I'm eating an ounce of cashews and an ounce of brie and 1 fig. Dinner I make on Sunday's, This week was a BLT salad bowl. It was supposed to have avocado in it, but all the avocados were bad, but it is still tasty. Next week will probably be a burger bowl, all I'll have to buy is some tomato and some lettuce, I have everything else. It's quite yummy and satisfies that craving for burgers that I've been having. I have (if I have any room left) a roasted veggie on the side. This week was sweet potato and snap green beans. Yum. If I leave my meal up to chance, I'll eat more, if I portion everything out on Sunday, I'll have just the right amount, won't overeat, and will not be tempted to stray from my meal plan, surprising enough.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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ASOBFALLS's Photo ASOBFALLS Posts: 19,130
12/5/19 9:54 A

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Thank you for bringing us back to this topic, Kristi.

5. Self-medicating with junk food, alcohol, sleeping pills or illegal drugs. Despite the immediate relief they may offer, these habits always lead to bigger problems down the line.

In the throes of enormous sadness it's hard to imagine that you'll ever feel happy again. But experience and research tell us that with time, most people return to their happiness set point despite life's greatest adversities and losses. When that happens, you don't want to find yourself with 15 extra pounds or a dependency problem to contend with.

If you're experiencing extreme difficulty sleeping or severe anxiety, talk with your doctor about safe and effective options to help you through this difficult time.


My comment::: I think most of us on this Team have doctors that we consult regularly for medication adjustment.
We have never discussed alcohol or drug abuse...I am prepared to be non-judgmental on these issues.
Binging on food...now there is a whole issue which could have a constant discussion thread like the "A word or two to describe current DEPRESSION"......Yep. I might do that.

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12/4/19 4:18 P

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I tend to ignore myself. I’m trying to walk 6 miles throughout each day. I don’t make it very often. I was getting disappointed until I realized I was getting over 10,000 steps, which is way more than normal. It is easier to sit on the couch and do nothing but watch tv.

Kristi

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."
Mark Twain

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult."
Seneca


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10/26/19 8:00 A

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I'm fighting insomnia right now, and have had it for a long time. I'm trying a new all natural vitamin spray that I took to my psychiatrist and made sure it was okay. The first few nights it really worked well, but now I'm back to waking up at 2 AM. I'm upping my exercise, time and intensity in hopes that it will help. I'm also paying attention to my Fitbit more when it reminds me to get up and walk to 'win the hour' by getting at least 200 steps in by the end of the hour. My goal is to reach 6k steps every day and then increase till I get to 10K. If I can get more than that, great, but that is my goal for now.

And you are so right about exercise helping depression. I know it is true, it has worked for me in the past, I just have to work on my consistency now!!

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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ASOBFALLS's Photo ASOBFALLS Posts: 19,130
10/22/19 12:34 P

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I have recently upped my exercise...fought off the 'but I don't want to' almost daily until now I DO feel better and it is easier to 'Just DO IT'

I know several of you fight with insomnia so that is high on this list for you.

Joyce, a Daughter of the King, that is, a Princess!
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10/22/19 12:32 P

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4. Ignoring your health. It's easy to skimp on sleep, skip the gym, forget to eat and otherwise drop your habits of daily self-care when you don't feel like yourself. But this is the time when maintaining healthy habits should remain a priority. By all means, take a day or two off from your normal routine if you really need to—just get back to it as soon as possible.

Exercise will increase endorphins and serotonin, the feel-good hormones, and have often been shown to have similar benefits to antidepressant medications.

Good nutrition will give you the energy you need to continue meeting your responsibilities, and keep blood sugar levels stable. Swings in blood sugar are known to have negative effects on mood.

Sleep is restorative and rejuvenating. Chronic sleep deprivation lowers serotonin levels in the brain, and can plunge you deeper into a depressive state.

Joyce, a Daughter of the King, that is, a Princess!
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10/18/19 4:25 A

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This one took me a long time. I would feel like, what if my depression isn't real or some other nonsense if I had a laugh or good moment during a bad depression. I try to do what you say, enjoy the moment, let it give me a ray of hope for feeling happier someday soon, and know that God just sent a ray of sunshine my way to let me know He is still with me.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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ASOBFALLS's Photo ASOBFALLS Posts: 19,130
9/12/19 11:44 A

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3. Feeling guilty during moments of happiness.
In our deepest moments of sadness, we can still experience moments of joy—and that's OK. If you find yourself laughing out loud or realizing that you just had fun, embrace it.

That doesn't mean you care any less or are suddenly "over" the issue. It just means you had a brief respite from feeling down. That's healthy!


Joyce, a Daughter of the King, that is, a Princess!
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LITTLEGUYSMOM1's Photo LITTLEGUYSMOM1 Posts: 13,040
9/3/19 2:38 P

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Wow Joyce! How did you know? I'm NOT the only one?

Tina
Team Co-Leader Christian Women with Depression (CWWD)

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Be still and know that I am God...
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9/3/19 2:12 P

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I just wanted to say thank you ASOBFALLS for writing that. I am sinking into a depression, was in bed all day, and am now forcing myself up so I will be up and presentable when my kids get home. I'm drinking coffee and read you words... and went and read my morning devotion and set my mind to - no matter how I'm feeling - start our new Bible study tonight. Me and the kids are going to go through the book of John. It's as much for me as it is for them, as I've never read that book either. If we run into any problems, DH was studying to become a pastor for a while and knows quite a bit (we ended up moving before he was able to finish and God showed DH He wanted DH in a different direction). So thank you for spurring me into action to be with God today, not only for me, but for my kids as well!!

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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9/3/19 10:54 A

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How about isolating from God? When you are depressed, do you ignore the Bible, Christian Music and prayer time? Avoid Praise situations?

Nuggets of Gold are hidden in the Psalms. Many appropriate for this isolation
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 119 has several including 49-50; 76-77; Psalm 23; Psalm 73:25-25;
Psalm 10:17 You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted, You encourage them and You listen to their cry

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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,456
9/3/19 10:11 A

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I have a few close friends, which I am very blessed to have. I enjoy spending time with them, but when I get depressed there are only certain people I keep in touch with. Example one of my sisters tends to have the Just be more positive attitude....as though that were the cure all. I usually withdraw from her. I just feel like she doesn't understand. I isolate from my close friends by canceling plans. I have good intentions when I make them, but if I get up feeling really depressed I usually will cancel. But I have one friend that usually talks me into doing something when I try backing out. A lot of times I feel better when I go out. I also tend to not pick up the phone when the depression hits hard. But I will pick up when it's my best friend. She gets me!

Cynthia

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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9/3/19 7:24 A

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I tend to isolate as well. Being a big introvert I naturally recharge by having alone time, but it can be really bad when I am in a depressed state. I don't want to do anything, just leave me alone type of feelings.

Tina
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Be still and know that I am God...
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9/3/19 1:43 A

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I am good at isolating myself. I go to church regularly, but not much else. I consider having friends over, or going to lunch; but don't get to it. I don't like getting out of my comfort zone. I don't even walk the dog any more.

Kristi

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."
Mark Twain

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult."
Seneca


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ASOBFALLS's Photo ASOBFALLS Posts: 19,130
9/2/19 4:38 P

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Thank You Karri! You found an old but excellent thread.

2. Isolating yourself. So very true....One reason I am still working part time.. I need that scheduled push to get out.


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8/28/19 7:16 P

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Since it has been a while, I hope you don't mind me stepping in and starting #2:

2. Isolating yourself. When we are hurting, there is a tendency to want to withdraw socially and spend more time alone. Brief periods for contemplation and crying are part of the process, but extended periods of isolation will not help you heal. According to Shawn Achor, researcher and author of The Happiness Advantage, too often when we are feeling stressed, overwhelmed or in pain, we pull inward—away from family, friends and social support. But this is when we need support more than ever. Depressed individuals who maintain social relationships during difficult times recover sooner and experience less chances of recurrence. Religious rituals like holding a wake or sitting Shiva are done because of the importance of being surrounded by those who care and love us when we have experienced loss. Even if you don't feel like it, force yourself to go out, socialize and be with others. You may be surprised at how much better you feel when you do—even if you're not in the mood for it at the start.


I isolate like crazy! I don't have many friends, and I don't make friends easily because I have put up walls. My Mom and my oldest sister were my best friends and they both passed just a few years apart about a decade ago, and I think that is when I put the wall up even higher. I was not allowed to show any emotion but happiness growing up and if I wasn't happy, I wasn't allowed to be around others.

I often feel like I have a big sticker on my forehead saying 'defective' or 'crazy' because of what I've gone through and having anxiety and depression. I feel like other people would not understand and that I'm an oddball. I'm trying to come out of my shell, but with not being able to drive, I don't get out much at all any more, and that does not help. I have social anxiety, and have a hard time inserting myself into other people's conversations to become part of it... I feel like I'm butting in and not wanted.

It doesn't help that when I finally did seek help my family reacted badly. Either saying I was crazy or that I was making things up, depending on what suited their needs.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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8/28/19 6:34 P

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I'm a little late replying, but better late than never. I grew up with my mom telling me I wasn't worth much, and my dad wasn't around. I have a better relationship with them as an adult. I tend to hide my feelings as long as possible, and then explode. My husband and daughter are very supportive. I tried for so long to deny that I had depression; but have finally come to terms with it, and seek God's strength every day to fight it.

Kristi

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."
Mark Twain

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult."
Seneca


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12/9/18 1:58 P

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I recognize all of the below. I have been going through a bad patch too not really recognizing as such. My S.A.D. has been awful for the ladt month or so. Now we throw the holidays in there too with the stress and wow. I skipped our church Christmas party last night because I just couldn't bear to get up and go be pleasant and put on a smile. Praying God will lift me out of this soon.

Everything is permissible -- but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. ~Faith Resnick

A.S.A.P ----- Always Say A Prayer
It's Needed!

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LITTLEGUYSMOM1's Photo LITTLEGUYSMOM1 Posts: 13,040
12/9/18 11:54 A

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I do tend to put on a brave face for my family, but inside I am torn apart by the depression and can barely focus on anything else. I even pull away from God. Having just recently gone through a very bad patch, and still coming out of it, the only thing that comforts me is knowing that my Hubby will help me and support me in any way possible. I feel too distant from God and disconnected. I know He's there, but I just can't seem to take the first step to get back to Him.

Tina
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Be still and know that I am God...
Psalm 46:10a


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12/9/18 11:48 A

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1. Denying your feelings.

I grew up in a home where the only okay emotion to show was happiness. I too stuffed my emotions. Recently I have realized I've been severely depressed and going downhill for months, but didn't recognize it till I was to the point of breaking down. I'm still severely depressed, but recognizing what it is I can try to at least push past it and see my psychiatrist.

~ Karri
"I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real." - Shaun Hick
"Fear doesn't have to control you. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not okay not to try" - Ruth Soukup


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12/9/18 11:20 A

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Spark People article www.sparkpeople.com/resource
/wellness_
articles.asp?id=1913


Any discussion of these? How about we do them one at a time.
1. Denying your feelings.
This one is most harmful for me when I have not recognized my own feelings. I grew up in a Christian boarding school (late 50s & 60s) We were told to live in JOY (Jesus first, Others second and Yourself last) identifying and sharing feelings was not encouraged. Many of us were lonely and sad. I often went for weeks without a loving touch or sometimes even kind words. My first reaction to stress or ...... is to 'stuff' the feelings down.

Any input for 1. Denying your feelings?

Edited by: ASOBFALLS at: 12/9/2018 (11:22)
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