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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (142,260)
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2/6/19 2:57 P

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It is so nice of you to give your daughter a positive eating environment.
So much depends on our families...
Sabotaging thoughts, and habits too. I was always aware my grandpa eats extremely quickly... but never realized I did the same, until I read the pink book.
emoticon

Kriszta

Goal weight:
59 +- 1 kg /// 130 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


445 Maintenance Weeks
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BECKIKORN's Photo BECKIKORN SparkPoints: (9,462)
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Posts: 120
2/6/19 10:23 A

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Without blaming anyone, I really think a lot of my bad eating habits and sabotaging thoughts come from my childhood., My mother was obsessed with weight loss and had bad self esteem (all I'm pretty sure she got from her parents). My dad would say things like "You look pretty for a fat girl". And he loved me like crazy. Changing these cognitive errors we get through out our lives are so important. I think that is why Beck has had such a positive impact on me and many others. I work everyday to try to give my daughter positive (healthy) experiences with food and weight loss.

Edited by: BECKIKORN at: 2/6/2019 (10:24)
Becki

broadcasting somewhere near the middle of Texas


 current weight: 217.8 
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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (142,260)
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12/8/18 2:56 P

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Great posts, thank you for sharing everyone!
We are making progress, and I believe this reading and escape planse will help us stay on track and be happy during Christmas.
emoticon
I have a modified version of the Rebel trap, I named it "Re-Living Happy Childhood Memories" trap, wrote a blog about the escape plan I created:

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
ublic_jour
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=6
547868


Kriszta

Goal weight:
59 +- 1 kg /// 130 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


445 Maintenance Weeks
0
115
230
345
460
SUSAN_CDN's Photo SUSAN_CDN Posts: 750
12/7/18 11:45 A

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I am the "willing accomplice" and I need to work on the "illegitimate to say no" trap.

I used to have trouble with some of the Family Traps, but I worked on it and I can handle those ones now without much trouble.

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CD14456645 Posts: 8,500
12/6/18 1:11 A

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emoticon Interesting chapter ~ and rings bells for me on several levels... from having other people monitor/control my food in childhood to growing up and becoming a hostess who wants to also provide yummy food to others too... but I have had to change some of these "eat with other people" dynamics

-- for me, I find the response card very helpful: "I am an adult and I make all my own food decisions" ~ that is empowering... other people can recommend, suggest, but I am the person who decides what food gets poked in my mouth! (grins ;)

-- for me, perhaps I provide foods other people will enjoy that I won't be tempted to overeat myself ~ a happy strategy :)

-- for a few people, we have had a simple heart2heart... please don't gift me foods at holidays! Love your fudge... when they continued to give it to me, now I just ask hubby to throw it away on the way into the house. I can't stay out of the fudge and they, for whatever reason are emotionally invested in gifting people with their goodies... I don't have to change them… Not my food, not my monkeys, not my circus... Sometimes it's just easier to nod, smile and do my own thing...

-- with hubby in my own home, it was a bit of a different story... he was gifting me with surprise treats... when I asked him why... (I thought why is he sabotaging me so I asked why.…) I was surprised when he replied simply, softly... because I love you. And thus began the conversation about how/when he could love/help me... It was hard for him too... as I began to change how I was eating, he felt like he was losing his chef & eating companion... so we work to find ways to share meals together that satisfy both of us...

-- when we eat with others, we try to softly encourage places/foods we would enjoy too... sometimes people just aren't open to change... they will usually let us bring a tray of something something but it's not worth a fight if we can't...

emoticon I just have kind of come to the idea that is a bit like a busybody trying to choose the color I paint my house or how I spend my $$ ~ ain't gonna happen... will consider what they say, then I choose what is good/right for me... & same goes for the calories I choose to eat :)

that just makes it easier...

Edited by: CD14456645 at: 12/6/2018 (01:12)
TRINASFITLIFE's Photo TRINASFITLIFE Posts: 6,906
12/5/18 2:37 P

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I fall into the Rebel Trap. I don't have issues with outside family gatherings, but daily with my immediate family, especially my kids. My kids tend to bring out the worst in me, so I really need to get a grip on myself. Part of that stresses me out and I eat. So my issue is really negative interaction with my family that traps me. That tends to get me to stress eat and a feeling of, "I deserve this food to calm and relax me". So every time I get upset with the kids, I need to follow an escape plan to deal with it and make response cards. I didn't think I used food to calm down when I'm frustrated and irritated.

~Trina
NC, EST
BLC C.A.M.O
BLC Purple Phoenix Spring
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5% Challenge Casual Traveler
Beck Diet Solution, Co-Leader

1 Corinthians 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,176
12/4/18 1:18 P

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Except for unwanted junk food gifts and even healthy giant sized containers of nuts etc this time of the year the family does not trip me up as much anymore. They especially my SIL used to big time. My MIL makes killer cookies. Every year it gets a little better. Even DH now asks them to ease way up on the sugary gifts and giant sizes because it's too much, too tempting and too unhealthy.

I write myself notes at the end of each year to remind myself what I should not buy, keep in the house and strategies to avoid repeating past mistakes.

I can get tripped up by the Rebel Trap by being my own worst enemy. I have a tendency to excuse and ignore my unhealthful thinking when I am mid maintenance. For some reason I tend to think, I've got this but time and time again, I have not got it down yet. I am just fooling myself and my "fudging" will register in my clothes and on the scale. I am going to make an "Escape the Rebel in Me Trap Plan" this week.

My birthday get together mentioned in my last food pusher post was postponed but making the Escape Plan was still very helpful.

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

QUEENOTHEFOREST's Photo QUEENOTHEFOREST Posts: 4,892
12/4/18 6:16 A

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Most of this is not a problem for me...not because I dealt with any of it. But only because I have only one household family member, my DH, AKA the Mule. From now on I will refer to him as DM. I truly recognize him in that description. Combine that with my willing accomplice and you have our "family". Actually I can say that we switch those two roles equally between us.

The first part of my plan is that I will need to become assertive about what is my food and what is not. Our home issue is not about timing of meals or pressure from kids or parents. And neither of us is a bully. But we are mules. And we are mindless. For example, my darling mule will bring home some special sausages from the local farm and they are truly lovely. But they are not worth the fat, salt or calories. I would have to eat such a tiny bite to stay within calories that it would not be a satisfying meal. But he loves them and brings home at least 4 varieties to stick in the freezer. And then I will cook them with gorgeous sauerkraut and mashed potatoes. Or he will treat me to my favorite restaurant with the amazing fresh made pasta which is not my favorite any more because the only choice is white flour pasta. Even the black ink octopus pasta which is the color of midnight is still made with white flour. He will agree that we will change our diets and promptly forget when he is in the vicinity of the farm with the sausages. And I will cook them up. What a pair we make. So for me I think the first and most basic step is to change my food preferences. If it is not truly nutritious for me then why in the world would I want to put it in my mouth?

I will need to become much more of a Mule myself about wholesome choices.

Mary

Cape Cod and Western Massachusetts

Well I could do that but why would I want to?


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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (142,260)
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12/2/18 2:56 P

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**************Week 3: December 3 - 9 **********************

Chapter 6: FAMILY TRAPS

Winter holiday season is approaching, with many family get-togethers.
A lot of fun and celebration- but at the same time challenging food situations.
Let's read this chapter together and see if any of the five traps is problematic, and how we can overcome them this December!

#1: The Criticizer Trap - you have unsupportive family members who make negative comments.
#2: The Rebel Trap - you revert to old behaviors when interacting with your family.
#3: The Can't Deprive the Family Trap - you keep tempting foods at home because you don't want your family to "suffer"
#4: The Me-First Mule Trap - stubborn or controlling family members don't want to make changes.
#5: The Me- Last Martyr Trap - you feel unentitled to ask family members to make changes.

Hm, this is interesting for me: I got my highest score on family trap on the quiz, 3 out of my total 5, but none of the traps rings true.
How likely are you to overeat when your family upsets you? 1 (slightly likely)
How likely are you to go off plan during family meals or gatherings? 2 (moderately likely)
How likely are you to keep your family happy instead of doing what you need to do to lose weight 0

My issue is similar to "#2: The Rebel Trap - you revert to old behaviors when interacting with your family". I do revert to old behaviors sometimes but it is not rebelling against someone criticizing me. It is situations that remind me of happy times from my childhood, like playing cards with my parents and sisters... always eating a lot of cookies and pretzels. I rarely binge anymore, maybe 3-4 times a year, but at least half of the cases comes from such get-togethers. I'll create and escape plan for this one.

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 12/2/2018 (15:10)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
59 +- 1 kg /// 130 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


445 Maintenance Weeks
0
115
230
345
460
CD14625385 Posts: 207
1/3/16 9:03 P

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'ello all! This is the place to link blogs and post discussions regarding the Family Problems Trap outlined in "The Diet Trap Solution,” AKA Blue Blue.

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