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2BDYNAMIC's Photo 2BDYNAMIC Posts: 61,240
7/3/16 9:05 P

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I know there is lots of medical 'humor out there .... emoticon

Leader "Slightly Off the Wall" #1 humor team
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Author of "It Happened at Dawn"



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9/7/15 7:11 P

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The Memory Test

Doctor : "What is three times three?"

Person 1 : 274

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and asks the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"

Person 2 :"Tuesday,"

The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"

Person 3 : "Nine"

Doctor : "That's great! How did you get that?"

Person 3 : "Simple just subtract 274 from Tuesday."



Kind of stupid but it made me laugh.



My name is Joanna not Joanne, please and thank you.

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5/26/15 12:25 P

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This one is called "Poor Old Lady":

This old lady walks into the Doctor's office and says, "Doctor, please help me. I have a terrible problem with farting. It's not really a social problem, because you can't smell it or hear it, but I must have farted 20 times since talking to you." The Doctor nods his head and says, "Take this bottle of pills and use them all. When they are all gone in about 2 weeks, come back to see me." The old lady comes back 2 weeks later and is angry. She says "What was in those pills? I fart just as much. You still can't hear them, but now they smell horrible!" The Doctor again nods his head and says, "Great, that takes care of your sinus problem, now let's work on your hearing."

My name is Joanna not Joanne, please and thank you.

Dundas, Ontario, Canada
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Black Panthers Sleigh Bell Slim Down Winter 2019 Challenge
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BLC35-41 - Resolute Renegades
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RESOLUTE on sticking with the things that work, e.g. tracking, drinking my water, exercising, etc.

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JANISMKW's Photo JANISMKW Posts: 1,339
4/29/15 10:01 A

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If the link doesn't work, you can just type "prednisone song" in the search window on You Tube.
The song was the first thing to come up in the search.
It will brighten your day.

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JANISMKW's Photo JANISMKW Posts: 1,339
4/22/15 9:56 P

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I had to take the . out of the middle of "tube" to get the link to to work, but then it did.

Hilarious!! What a riot! Being on a lot of the pills now, and having just been on intravenous in the hospital, it hits close to home!
emoticon emoticon
Not so funny, I was recently told that I can look forward to 2 cataract surgeries within 5 years thanks to the very high doses of the stuff I was on for a a year and a half when I first got asthma, living where there were 3 aluminum-making plants. We moved from there to here and I dropped first one medicine per month, then got impatient and started dropping multiple meds at a time... I didn't need any of the 18 or so that did nothing to control my asthma in the old location. Hmmm.

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4/22/15 6:47 P

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Here's a funny (but not funny) song about Prednisone:

youtu.be/WE1rmToYWyY

This is from the CD "Sick Humor," which is all medical songs (parodies) about my (Carla Ulbrich's) adventures as a patient. Hey, ya gotta laugh or you're either cry scream or strangle someone. You can get the CD on itunes, or at www.thesingingpatient.com

Edited by: BKWERM at: 4/29/2015 (17:16)
My name is Joanna not Joanne, please and thank you.

Dundas, Ontario, Canada
Daylight Savings Time/Eastern Time Zone

Black Panthers Sleigh Bell Slim Down Winter 2019 Challenge
Berry Bright Panther-Only Team

BLC35-41 - Resolute Renegades
www.blctracking.com

RESOLUTE on sticking with the things that work, e.g. tracking, drinking my water, exercising, etc.

RENEGADE by limiting unhealthy food and moving my body as much as possible.


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CD10895053 Posts: 8,040
1/18/15 1:10 P

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Ha! Now that's another good one!! Thanks for the good laugh!

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1/18/15 10:22 A

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A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!



My name is Joanna not Joanne, please and thank you.

Dundas, Ontario, Canada
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Black Panthers Sleigh Bell Slim Down Winter 2019 Challenge
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BLC35-41 - Resolute Renegades
www.blctracking.com

RESOLUTE on sticking with the things that work, e.g. tracking, drinking my water, exercising, etc.

RENEGADE by limiting unhealthy food and moving my body as much as possible.


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CD10895053 Posts: 8,040
11/4/14 8:53 P

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HAHAHAHA, that is hilarious and I sure felt for the guy afterwards! emoticon Thanks for a good laugh!! emoticon

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10/31/14 6:18 P

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My First Time (a true story)

by Dr. Antonio Rambaldi, Varennes, Quebec
(Stitches, No 39)

As a medical student, my first clerkship was obstetrics at the Royal Victoria Hospital in Montreal. I recall eagerly donning a mask and gown as a woman in labour was wheeled into the delivery room. I timidly proceeded to take my place behind the obstetrician, resident and intern, craning to get a good view.

However, to my disappointment, I was directed to the head of the table. A nurse told me to look in the mirror to observe the birth. I felt relieved, assuming that the medical students must be so placed in order not to get in the way.

Then I was instructed to hold the patient's hand. I felt a little uncomfortable as I complied, but I supposed this was a lesson in bedside manners. The patient seemed reassured as she firmly squeezed my hand.

After the birth of the baby, I was asked if I wanted to cut the umbilical cord. I was delighted, thinking this the kind of hands-on experience that medical students got from their rotations in the hospitals.

After successfully completing the procedure, I was told to kiss the mother! I stood frozen in disbelief as everyone encouraged me to proceed. Extremely embarrassed, I brought my masked face several inches from the patient's cheek before I escaped outside feeling totally dumbfounded.

In the corridor, a man in mask and gown was waiting nervously. "Can I go in now?" he asked me, and I suddenly realized that everyone, including the patient, had mistaken me for the baby's father.

My name is Joanna not Joanne, please and thank you.

Dundas, Ontario, Canada
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Black Panthers Sleigh Bell Slim Down Winter 2019 Challenge
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BLC35-41 - Resolute Renegades
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RESOLUTE on sticking with the things that work, e.g. tracking, drinking my water, exercising, etc.

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10/24/14 8:14 P

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In the hospital, a patient's relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. At last, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$200 for a female brain, and $500 for a male brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A girl, unable to control her curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at her childish innocence and then said, "It's a standard pricing procedure. We have to mark the female brains down, because they're used!!!!!!!"

My name is Joanna not Joanne, please and thank you.

Dundas, Ontario, Canada
Daylight Savings Time/Eastern Time Zone

Black Panthers Sleigh Bell Slim Down Winter 2019 Challenge
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BLC35-41 - Resolute Renegades
www.blctracking.com

RESOLUTE on sticking with the things that work, e.g. tracking, drinking my water, exercising, etc.

RENEGADE by limiting unhealthy food and moving my body as much as possible.


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KIMMYWIZZIE1's Photo KIMMYWIZZIE1 Posts: 1,417
10/22/14 11:15 A

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Excellent!!!! That sounds about right though. :D Thanks for the laugh

~~Kim/Kimmy~~

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale

Never, Never, NEVER, give up!


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10/22/14 8:49 A

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A woman told the vet that something was wrong with her dog. He examined the animal and told her the dog was dead.

"I don't believe you", she said, "I'd like a second opinion"

The vet said that would be fine. He went into the other room and got a cat. He put the cat up on the table with the dog. The cat sniffed the dog and jumped down. The vet then got a black lab, put him on the table and the lab sniffed and jumped down.

The vet tells the lady again, "I'm sorry, but your dog is definitely dead. That will be $600 for the exam."

"$600 is ridiculous, what are the charges for?" she exclaimed.

"$600 is a bargain," the vet explained. "$50 for me and only $550 for the cat scan and lab work."



My name is Joanna not Joanne, please and thank you.

Dundas, Ontario, Canada
Daylight Savings Time/Eastern Time Zone

Black Panthers Sleigh Bell Slim Down Winter 2019 Challenge
Berry Bright Panther-Only Team

BLC35-41 - Resolute Renegades
www.blctracking.com

RESOLUTE on sticking with the things that work, e.g. tracking, drinking my water, exercising, etc.

RENEGADE by limiting unhealthy food and moving my body as much as possible.


 Pounds lost: 79.6 
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BKWERM's Photo BKWERM SparkPoints: (193,764)
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10/22/14 8:41 A

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They say that laughter is the best medicine so this thread will be used to post medical humour, e.g. jokes, riddles, quotes, etc.

Edited by: BKWERM at: 10/22/2014 (08:50)
My name is Joanna not Joanne, please and thank you.

Dundas, Ontario, Canada
Daylight Savings Time/Eastern Time Zone

Black Panthers Sleigh Bell Slim Down Winter 2019 Challenge
Berry Bright Panther-Only Team

BLC35-41 - Resolute Renegades
www.blctracking.com

RESOLUTE on sticking with the things that work, e.g. tracking, drinking my water, exercising, etc.

RENEGADE by limiting unhealthy food and moving my body as much as possible.


 Pounds lost: 79.6 
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