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last november. annual family event at the beach. ~195lbs

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novemer 2007. same beach, same event. ~145lbs

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I've been conscious of my weight for about 15 years. I'm only 20, so you can see how my size has been a shaping factor in my life. Both of my sisters are stick-straight, so even when my body was normal, I felt huge. I've spent years "dieting" with my mom, and even when I wasn't actively trying to lose weight, I was constantly punishing myself, at least mentally, for the "bad" foods I ate.

I started gaining big time my first year of college. Eating healthy and working out is hard and time consuming, but it was always on my mind. Unfortunately, thinking of all the food I couldn't eat just made me eat more. I went from 170 at the start of college and instead of losing the 25 pounds I was hoping to, I put on 40.

I spent my second year hating myself, never going out, feeling so out of place in this big body. I had a few good weeks of working out and eating right but it felt pointless, so I would set goals I knew I wouldn't reach and beat myself up over and over when I didn't reach them.

It occurred to me recently, though, that there's no point in attempting something if I'm just going to set myself up for failure. If eating a cheeseburger is more important to me than losing weight, than I should eat it and not feel bad. I also realized, however, that no food is worth more to me than feeling good about myself again. There's no point in stressing out about something I'm only giving half of my effort. Hard work pays off if you commit to it. So, I'm giving weight-loss another shot and I'm giving it my all.


HW: 205.6
10/6 GW-x SW-203 [-2.6]
11/3 GW-195 (-8) AW-
12/1 GW-187 (-8) AW-
1/5 GW-179 (-8) AW-
2/2 GW-172 (-7) AW-
3/2 GW-165 (-7) AW-
4/6 GW-157 (-8) AW-
5/4 GW-151 (-6) AW-
6/1 GW-145 (-6) AW-
7/6 GW-138 (-7) AW-

Non-weight goals:
Run my first 5k
Try a sprint triathlon
Outdoor Rock-climbing
Try a martial arts class at UFC gym
Take tumbling PE class

Member Since: 5/16/2010

Fitness Minutes: 2,404

My Goals:
My current goal is to get down to 185, a 10% loss from my starting weight of 205.6.

My Program:
I'm pretty much a compulsive planner, so after laying out every workout or meal, I've decided to take it day by day. Do the workout I feel like doing, instead of procrastinating all day just because I don't feel like biking. Focus on making all of my meals healthy and appetizing instead of only allowing certain foods.

Personal Information:
I'm a 20 year old college student in Northern California. I've been overweight my whole life, and after losing a lot during high school, I've reached my heaviest. I spent a lot of time at this weight because I never really got back into the losing weight mindset.

Other Information:

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 current weight: 193.5 
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  • v no profile image SKYHIGAL
    I didn't really realize when I wrote my blog that anyone would actually hear me. I just knew I wanted to do something that made my commitment, awareness, and gratitude real. Hearing from you is so exciting. Thank you for reading and responding to my blog. Your words were so encouraging as is your success to date. Thank you for taking the time to be a friend. I'll be watching your progress with great interest and celebrating your successes along the way. I plan to print my blog and your response, if you don't mind, to show Cleo. I can just hear her amused ladylike chuckle when she learns that we think she is an inspiration. emoticon
    4039 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/24/2010 7:15:36 PM
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