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When I stop trying is when I have failed. June 2013

So as the perpetual yo-yo goes, so shall I. I have had a lot of ups and downs and won't go in to the details. We all have our "thing". But about 3 years ago I woke up one morning and realized what a hot drunken mess I was. So I decided that morning that I was not going to have even one drink or one cigarette from that moment on. It was a tough few months for my son, i'll tell ya that! I did warn him though. I said Jim (that's his name), there will be days over the next few months where you night want to tell me to have a drink and get over it, but I need you to be patient and understand this is for a better life for all of us. He spent a lot of time in his room, so he would not blow his cool. He had been bugging me for years to quit. Well, I replaced cigs and beer with food figuring once I KNEW I had a handle on my addiction I would deal with my weight. I have tried off and on in the last year but depression got in the way. Once Jim and I moved back to Utah and he moved up North I had to deal with Empty Nest syndrome and as i am single it was even more lonely. I am still lonely and miss my son to bits, I have once again put my health on the front burner. I will never be 118 again, or 125 or even 133, but I am hopeful for being in the neighborhood of 146-ish? lol
And I will be very content to once again wear my size 11's loosely. So here we go again! Cuz like I said.......I didn't fail, I just stalled out and needed new pistons!

Lifestyles of the fit and meatless! August 2011

I may still be fighting the battle of the bulge. But the difference ow is that I am winning. Slowly but sure.
I have definitely made some life style changes that have changed me for the better.
I have never been a huge meat eater, maybe once a week. But even with that, I stopped eating all meat except chicken and fish. Then just fish and now I am all green! And reds and yellows and blues and purples and any other fruits and veggies come in. And I can't forget about those grains!
Almost a year ago I also quit drinking and smoking forever!
Late Spring I hired an awesome trainer who helped me learn what was really important in nutrition. So now I look at foods in the sense this good for me and how does it affect my body? She also taught me good exercise habits, which I use every day even though I am not seeing her right now.
Back to being vegetarian, I do eat eggs rarely. But when I do they come from cage free (free range) grain fed chickens. I also eat dairy.
Found this on you tube:
To me being vegetarian means:
Vegetarianism is the practice of living on products of the plant kingdom, with or without the use of eggs and dairy products, but excluding entirely the consumption of any part of the body of an animal as food (including chicken, fish and seafood).
Some will argue the point of differences between vegan/vegetarian/Flexitarian/Pesco- and Pollo-Vegetarian
I think, but am not sure, that I am ovo-lacto vegetarian because I do eat both eggs and dairy products .
For me this change came about for ethical, environmental and health.
But don't get me started on the ethical and environmental aspects!

I feel strong inside and out because of the changes I have made in my life. I feel better now at 155 then I did early last year at 144!
I also finally paid attention to a quote I heard over and over again. Not just here but everywhere!

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein, (attributed)
US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)

I don't know what to say. I am the heaviest I have ever been. I walk with shame and disgust inside me. I am extremely unhappy. I am not trying to be a downer. But with being a single mom with a job that doesn't even pay the bills and the constant weight gain......grrr. That's it......grrr!
Which is why when I found Spark Pages, I thought it just might work for me. Making me own up to my daily weigh ins and tracking everything. But the best part is this site figures everything out for you!
When I first started on Spark I had bought a size 12 dress at Penney's the other day. My goal was to wear it proudly on my birthday.......that was in 2008.
to be continued.....
I do know what to say. Thank the Lord for SP! I have learned so much from this site. And the support is insurmountable! I may not be in that swimsuit in time for this year, but I for sure will be a healthier me, body, mind and soul. SP I love you!
Since joining in January of 2008, I have lost 12 pounds, quit smoking, and quit a very serious drinking habit. I have a new determination to achieve my goals. Still working on that armpit fat, which I recently found out it was actually extra breast tissue. Ewwwww. What the hell is breast tissue doing in my armpits any? I could get surgery, but if I had that kinda money I would already look like Barbie! Am I right? Hopefully the push up challenge I am in will help that. And hopefully the ab challenge I am in will help rid me of the beer belly!
2 Years later in 2010 I am back where I started. And I am sick of this roller coaster. If I am going to make a permanent change I need to change my approach.

Member Since: 1/21/2008

Fitness Minutes: 43,376

My Goals:
1.To have the energy to go hiking again.
2.To take my son camping again, before he is too old to want to go with his mama!
3.To wear a swimsuit with a small degree of pride, THIS summer.
4. To become attractive enough to know that the reason I am single has nothing to do with my appearance.

My Program:
I have tried and failed several things. But if all else fails I know if I get myself back on Atkins Induction and into Ketosis, the scale WILL start moving again. And since I gave up all walking things as food, getting the proper nutrition is tough. I have been trying to lose my weight since Jan 2001 at 168. I want to be able to say I have reached my goal this year 2009.
I wish us ALL success!

Personal Information:

Other Information:
I like to read, it relaxes me. A good Stephen King or Jordan Roberts book is good if I have enough time to get into it. If I only have a little reading time, I like to read health and fitness magazines. Not the foo foo ones. Although I have poked my nose into those too. But usually the more serious ones. I like to listen to musice of any kind with the exception of country. And I love Crazy Frog. It is a HOOT!

Read More About MACKANDME - Profile Information moved here. (Updated June 26)

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    Hi everyone. I doubt this will reach all of you...or many for that matter. But I have a new account and would love for you to friend me.
    It is under the name of Echoes4Animals.

    Excited to reconnect with whoever is still interested!
    1797 days ago
  • v AMY_1217
    Hi! I noticed on the feed for the BLC that you were wanting to join a team. There's another BLC about to start (not affiliated with that one, not near as intense, from what I understand lol). The Shape Up for Spring challenge starts in about 2 weeks. It's a 10 week challenge and there are 10 teams of 24 competing. I'm the Dazzling Diamonds leader, and we've still got two team openings. The challenge focuses on fitness and nutrition as well as focus on healthy habits. Not to mention, with it being a less intense challenge, you can ease back into the flow of things. There are several Diamonds who are also on BLC30 teams. This would give you the accountability and momentum to carry into the May BLC (31 I'm assuming? lol) challenge!
    If you're interested, please let me know and I'll send you the info!

    Have a great Saturday! emoticon
    1978 days ago
    “In order to lead a fascinating life – one brimming with art, music, intrigue and romance – you must surround yourself with precisely those things.” -

    Hope 2014 holds so many wonderful things for you!

    2752 days ago
    emoticon emoticon GO AMBER!! emoticon emoticon
    2963 days ago
    Hi there Amber Flock mate! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
    2966 days ago
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