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Just keep Going ?

Monday, February 25, 2008

It is cold outside and I hate cold. I am in a real slump with this whole weight loss thing. I know part of me wants to loose weight because I keep trying time after time, but I have that negative self talk going in my head saying "it's not worth it" or "I really just don't care." I keep trying to get to the emotional reason I'm fat, i've been trying for years ( been in therapy for two years now) but I cant seem to break that mental barrier/ have that Ah-Ha! moment ect... where everything clicks. Am I being unrealistic about this happening ? The best I have been able to figure out is that I feel it's easier to be fat and I don't want to make the effort to change. I also already know how people react to me at this weight, I don't know how they would react to me skinny as I've been heavy for 90 percent of my life. I am also afraid of looking like a sharpe (you know the wrinkly dogs - I'm just not sure how to spell it)

Working out is the easy part for me. I work out at least 3 days a week. I keep an exercise log that I get to put stickers in when I work out. Last year I worked out around 160 days. It's great to be able to look back and see what I've done.

It's the healthy eating part that seems to kick me in the rear end all the time. I hate HATE trackign waht I eat but I know it makes a difference when I do. I feel like I'm full of excuses, but I don't know how to stop making them ( which is in it's self another excuse)

I know one of my strengths is persistence. I keep going. It's how I got through college, It's how my marriage works.... So I keep telling my self that if I just keep going with my weight loss i'll eventually get there ( There being 135 pounds or a size six which ever comes first). I'm not really losing weight though, I take off five pounds then I put it right back on.

So what do you all think out there in blogging land? Where do I go from here.
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  • TRACYC1960
    Awesome that you're a persistent person!

    It's also way cool that you're so faithful in your work outs.

    I tend to agree with BOADECIA here that I find my "ah ha" moments when I'm not compulsively over eating. Most likely because in my case when I am stuffing in the food, I'm stuffing down the feelings and when I'm not food stuffing I have to finally deal with them. Also, for me, it's not an "ah ha" and everything clicks; it's more one step, one realization at a time and slowly pieces are fitting together.

    May success be yours this week!

    4898 days ago
    Good for you for being persistent. That's often the hardest part for me, so I commend anyone who can keep trucking even when the going gets tough.

    I wish I could help you with the emotional reason for being overweight, but each person is different. I've found losing the weight is what brings up the "ah-ha" moments. You get smaller and suddenly strange fears pop up. "Someone can just pick me up and take me away!", "What if my breasts are just sacks of skin when this is all over?", "I've always been the fat girl. Who will I be when I'm not fat anymore?", etc. Your body and mind love the status quo. Its where they're comfortable.

    With you being so persistent, I'd bank on that strength to pull you through. Tracking calories is one of my pet peeves, so I do a week's worth all at once. I figure out what I want to eat for the week, sit down at the computer and input it all in. I then print out my grocery list and use that when I go shopping. If something changes like a friend asks me out to lunch, I update the nutrition tracker for that day and honestly input my new lunch. I don't have energy every day to track, so I do it all when I do have the energy. :)

    As for eating healthy, I always go the lazy route. Batch Meals and easy to assemble snacks. I whip up a few of my 'stand-bys' to ensure I get enough nutrition in a day, but also have a few healthy versions of naughty meals to avoid feeling deprived. For instance I make a white chicken chili that is easy to freeze, but gets boring after awhile. So I make that, freeze it and get fixings for a healthy taco salad. I go for the chili first, but if I'm tired of it, I have the healthy taco salad as a back up.

    We're all different, but I hope this helps you a bit. Good luck to you! :)
    4898 days ago
    I commend you for your ability to get in your exercise - that is my big issue. Partly because gym memberships are ridiculous and I no longer live in an apartment with a fitness room, and partly because while I DO love things like Yoga or walking... I HATE doing them alone and have nobody to do it with.

    For eating, which is what I'm good with, not sure what advice to give but I'll try. At first this was hard for me because my husband kept hating the healthy food I made, so then I tried making two sets of meals which just wore me out. So now I do a little of both, and just eat smaller portions of things like pasta and fill in the rest with veggies so I still make my nutrition goals and am able to indulge. And for breakfast and lunch I can eat healthy 100% since he's at work.

    Also, I use Bento for lunch which is amazing for portion control and variety, which keeps me full until dinner.
    4898 days ago
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