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How Easily We Veer Off Track

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I am quite disappointed in myself at how easily I let my emotions change my course of action. I was lucky enough to lose the 2 pounds of water weight that I gained last week, and I am determined to lose more this week, as I'm trying to reach a certain goal by July 5th. I've done really well with my food today, but I had quite an upset this afternoon that completely depleted my motivation to get that exercise in that I had planned.

I took my daughter for a perm today (believe me- that in itself was hard enough! LOL) but she finally agreed to it because she's been wanting a change, and I was so excited about it! But when we got there, they told me her hair was too long and thick for one box. They would've had to use two boxes, and they doubled the price on me! Well I wasn't financially prepared for that, and I had to reschedule. I didn't have enough money on me, and not even enough in my bank account to cover the difference. That was soooo incredibly humiliating in front of a salon full of people! I just wanted to crawl into a hole. I cried on the way home, because I was so upset that my daughter had to endure that just because her parents can't provide for her!

A friend of hers got a perm a few weeks ago and Brittany (my daughter) liked it so much. She's been wanting a change and toyed with the idea of perming her hair as well. Although she was scared about making such a drastic change, she was finally ready to do it, and we were going to send text pics to everyone. Now we have to wait another week until we come up with all the money. How embarrassing and depressing! I came home and crawled right into bed with my book and stayed there most of the afternoon. I didn't even cook dinner for my family.

It's amazing to me how one little event can cause such a chain reaction. It's not only amazing, but it's frustrating, too, because it just shows me that I'm still so weak. I've come so far, and I can't seem to grasp the idea of when I'm determined and when I'm not. It's like I have these great spurts where I go and go and go, I lose a lot of weight, and I'm so happy. Then, out of the blue, it's like I just get tired of working so hard at it, and I want to stop for a while. Then I gain, get scared, and get back on track again. It's a vicious cycle that's just going to make this process that much longer.

I love SP and all the wonderful resources here and the people on my teams, but when, exactly, am I going to actually "fix the problem" rather than just keep putting band-aids on it? I was in a 12-Step program years ago, and that didn't help me, either. Yeah, I'm losing weight here, but what will I have to do to actually overcome the obstacles that got me here in the first place????
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  • SKAYT77
    Alicia!! Don't beat yourself up because you can't afford it! Salons charge way too much for perming & coloring.. its ridiculous! And yes.. if they have to use to boxes... to perm or color.. up goes the price! There are many of us who can't afford it!

    I agree with getting her some curlers of some type & letting her do her own styling.. or get some Mom/Daughter time in by helping her do it. At least that way it isn't permanent & she can change her look everyday! Perms & color do damage hair and your stuck with it, like it or not, unless you want to spend the money to have it undone!

    But back to the real problem... you can't let the world beat you down! You're a wonderful person with so much to give! Money isn't everything.. and in this day with prices on everything going up & up.. its hard to afford all those little extra luxury things. Don't get all embarrassed & hide away. You don't want to teach your daughter to handle problems that way. Shake it off & explain to her that some people just have way to much money to waste & that's why things like that cost so much... and the upkeep on them costs money too!! Instead of hiding away find a solution that won't cost so much... something that you can do yourself or an alternative activity that you can enjoy together that doesn't cost money! Its good to teach her about the real life & not being able to afford things... many of us want things that we just can't afford. That doesn't make us bad people.. and we shouldn't be embarrassed by it. We work hard & raise our families the best we can. Instill good values in them & show them all the love & happiness you can have in a family... without alot of money!!

    Hang in there girl & stick to your goals. You're wonderful & we all know that!!
    4704 days ago
    another thing to think about.... Sometimes certain hair just doesn't hold a perm. I have that kind of hair. I agree, curl her hair see if this is something she really does want.
    Now I know that doesn't address the emotional issue. But I know you are a strong woman. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. No curling up on the bed a reading a book. The Alicia that I see on the BL team is one that would go exercise and burn all that tension and emotional issues out.
    Stay strong, you are worth it!

    4704 days ago
    Come on girl--buck up and let's do this! You CAN and you ARE doing this! Yes, that was embarrassing but others have been there too and I'm sure that you noticed it more than anybody else. I'm sure everyone else was busy worrying about their own stuff and probably not even paying attention to what was happening with you.
    I agree with CJEGGER--curl your daughter's hair like you think it would be, so she can see if she really likes it. I love curly hair, but having it permed just isn't the same--it tends to get really frizzy...at least that has been my experience.
    4704 days ago
    I agree. Your daughter doesn't look very old...what is she, maybe 13-14? If she has that long of hair, then it will definitely ruin it in the long run. And you will have to have it repermed probably every 3 months, depending on how fast her hair grows. Trust me! I permed AND colored for years......finally quit perming several years ago, still color, but my hair is so much healthier now. And if she DOESN'T like the perm, she's just stuck with it until it grows out or she cuts it all off.

    Why don't you first go to a beauty supply store, like Sally's, and get some of those skinny rods that you twist to stay in the hair, and roll her hair up with those while it's wet and make sure she REALLY likes it and understands that it is PERMANENT if she does decide to do it and it's major upkeep!

    DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF! Like I tell my 15 yr old who keeps harping on getting a car when he turns 16 (we've told him we probably won't be able to afford one right away)..."the only thing we OWE you is a roof over your head, food and clothing"
    4704 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/19/2008 5:19:21 PM
    Wait - don't be upset. Talk daughter out of it.

    Perms are out of style now. it's all straight hair that's in! I don't know if she will buy it. She'd ruin that long hair. The curls stay in as the hair grows and unless you keep perming you have to cut if or look like some odd poodle.

    Check out and see what the others say.. My salon doesn't like to do perms because they are so out of style.

    4705 days ago
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