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The great Divide

Thursday, July 03, 2008

so this is a recent picture of me at a recent belly dance performance. that's right I'm a belly dancer. I feel like I am stuck where my weight loss is concerned. I don't want to do anything about it right now. I have a desire to loose weight but I am a very pessimistic person by nature or as my one friend tells me I'm a "realist" My latest bunch of hooey that is floating around in my brain is that I don't care if I die so the heal reason's to lose weight don't matter to me. I have been diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety and have been in therapy for two years and have come a long way, I just don't know how to change my thought patterns I have ben trying to counter negative thoughts with positive ones. so like when I here my self in my head say "you suck" I try and change it to your intelligent, creative, ect..... I just feel like there is a great divide between my intellectual knowledge and how I conduct my daily life. So what do you all think? Any ideas on bridging the gap? Am I alone in this divide?

Have a great fourth of July!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I commend you. I would never have the guts to get out and perform. I get too nervous.

    You look fabulous.

    Do you remember your words about your name? I think you should re-read them.
    4765 days ago
  • 3GATOS1999
    You know, as a social worker, sometimes when working with people we have them keep saying or doing something even when they don't quite believe it, because the behavior comes first, and then eventually they start to believe it as the behavior becomes ingrained into them. The positive self-talk is the same way. "You suck" may be the reigning thought pattern, but as you make a conscious effort EVERY time to replace it with something positive, as well as to reward yourself for doing it, eventually, you will start to notice that a positive thought will spring up on its own from time to time. And them you must reward yourself for THAT! And then it will happen more and more often, until the you sucks become so infrequent that as soon as they come, a "Shut up, I do not!" will naturally follow!
    4765 days ago
    Hi, I just read your note in Yoga Lovers and looked at your blog to see your picture - You look **fabulous**! strong and "juicy"!

    I have been there, with negative self talk -- wonderful that you are aware of this, and making the effort to stop the negative thoughts and replace with positive ones -- even if you don't totally believe the positives, ***it still works***!! Of course it takes time, but be persistant and you will overcome.

    In addition to thought stopping, I looked through all my music and found some songs that struck me as very happy songs - mostly children's songs and some hymns and some Big Band music (Ac-Cen-Tu-Ate the Positive, E-Lim-In-Ate the Negative was one ) -- and made a tape cassette (see, it was a while ago!!) to play in the car all the time.

    Exercise is a great help for depression and anxiety, it's hard to worry when you are moving... and the improvements in your strength / fitness will give you a boost every time you notice it.

    Keep on keepin' on -- yoga and meditation are great things too, and you will soon start noticing happy coincidences in your life!

    May your heart be light and happy!
    4766 days ago
    Boy, belly dancing has to be strenous work, albeit fun! You landed in the right group (DwD), because we are all there or have been there. Learning the ART of positive self-talking is so important. Before I learned, I was outwardly self-confident and self-assured, but on the inside a mess. My self-doubts caused me to sabotage myself emotionallyy so I because someone I didn't like or know. Positive self-talking has returned me to who I really want to be! Hope you can chase away all the negativity. Start with one mantra like, I am smart, I am smart--repeated 100 time 3 times a day........and go from there! Maybe you will see a small change and that will spur you on to venture further into the world of positivity! CMY (Carol)
    4768 days ago
    Wow!! That's amazing that you bellydance. I have always wanted too but never had the courage to try it. You look awesome in that picture.
    I know that sometimes times get hard and we as women are always our worst critics but don't let things get you down. I also have a history of anxiety and depression and it really helps to voice your self doubts. Also, self affirmations every morning has helped me. Tell yourself that you are an amazing beautiful woman everyday and soon the thoughts in your head will start hearing you. Best of luck! emoticon
    4769 days ago
  • EQUUS256
    First of CONGRATULATIONS for getting out there and performing because it proves you do have a good self image hidden somewhere under your veil!!!

    I have those obnoxious self talkers in my head that tell me terrible things all the time. I can only conquer them with dr care, meds and journaling.

    I find if I write it down it doesn't keep swirling around in my head getting more and more negative. And feel free to vent and talk to the rest of us on DwD. We are very supportive and fun if somewhat crazy group.

    BTW your picture is beautiful - you are beautiful
    4769 days ago
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