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Monday, July 28, 2008

Monday, July 28, 2008

I binged so bad last night that I don't know how I could not have awaken with vomit in my mouth. Of course, I ate probably 3000 + calories during that binge. I also binged all day so who knows the calories I took in. I feel so ashamed and I should. I don't believe in giving myself a break. I am abusing my body by bingeing and I have to stop this now. NOW. Not tomorrow. Not the next day but Today and each day afterwards. I have no excuse except weakness. Weakness and putting off what needs to be done. Stop the binge. Stop it. No more. I am a big girl. A very big girl thanks to continual binges. I have to fight to get the weight off but it won't do any good if I allow myself to binge. I've got to stop enabling myself with ...tomorrow I will begin again. NO. i've hit bottom Thank God and I have to stop it in it's tracks. I've got to just stop it. I can't focus on anything until I stop this bingeing and have a successful stop of it all. TODAY IT STOPS. NO MORE BINGEING. NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon
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