Keeping it in
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Well, after almost a year I finally told my parents something that I shouldn't have been keeping in in the first place. I graduated from college in May with the hopes of getting my teaching licents for early childhood which is prek-3rd grade. While in college I went through 4 field placements which included 8 week sessions in a classroom setting.
What nobody but me and my dh knew was that my evealuations from several of those teachers were not good enough for me to be able to do my student teaching. So, instead of telling people what was going on, I kept this painful fact to myself other than Wayne and the professors at the college nobody else knew that my dreams of teaching were quickly going down the drain.
Finally yesterday after my mom started talking about me doing my student teaching for the umpteenth time she asked what was stiopping me. I couldn't hide it anymore and told her what was going on.
It still hurts to think or talk about it. When you want something for 15 years and are told you can't do it it's embarrassing and painful. So, instead of talking about it. I hid it. It does feel better to talk about it now and I e-mailed the school to see if there is anything I can do to resolve the issue and let me do my student teaching.
I guess the moral of the story is that even though something is painful to talk about and you just want it to go away, it's better to just tell other people abou tit and try to resolve the issue because pushing it away doesn't make it go away.