Needing my friends...
Monday, January 26, 2009
Today was the day I was avoiding. It was the day we got Brad's update on his oncology reports. His chose not to maintain quarterly testing-I supported. After all, the doctors said there were no interventions and each time he tested it revealed the inevitable-he is dying.
It has been more than 18 months since he last tested. His cancer markers are up by 20 points. The CT scan shows the mesenteric tumor is larger and the liver tumors are more numerlous and larger. His reply to all of this is, "How much longer?"
I don't know how to do this... I survive by being a repressive coper. I see the glass half full. I'm the PollyAnna. I fix things. That is what I do. But-I can't fix this. He needs my support and I don't know how.
My faith has always sustained me. God is bigger than our biggest fears. I am seeking His strength. HIS promise tells me that HE is sufficient. I will trust HIM.