Spark Motivator - yippee!!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
WOW - how exciting. I got a message that I am a Spark Motivator! Not sure exactly how many people have to say that about me for it to happen - but it is very exciting. I love to encourage people and it gets me pumped up as well. So I have a positive attitude - boy, my family will have a field day with that one :) Just kidding.
It's funny - I think it's just one of those little things that the Lord does - you know how he works in mysterious ways??
I have really been thinking deeply (very deeply) the last few weeks how I am not the same person that I used to be when I was thinner - I KNOW that my strength, confidence and who I am comes from Christ (who I really am) and sometimes I forget who I belong to - I need to remind myself that I belong to Christ. I am pseudo-happy, not unhappy, not depressed, just not the fun outgoing person that I used to be. All through high school and college people used to tell me constantly, I never see you without a smile, now it's I never see you with a smile. I feel so self-conscious, and insecure and I just can't stand who I have become, I am not always nice, but I am completely AWARE of ALL this while it is going on and I know who is feeding me these lies.
So why do I continue to believe them - or do I??
On some level I must - in my heart of hearts I know that I am worthy, I know that I am loved and I know where I will spend eternity, but my desire - while I am here on earth is to leave a legacy of some kind - I want to touch peoples lives for the better, I want to encourage them, to help them and to be there for them and for them to know that I am REAL. I know it's ridiculous but sometimes, I do not feel like I can be this person until I lose the weight. But the Lord is funny and he's showing me that that is NOT SO!!!
I know that when I focus on others, my issues become inconsequential. When I focus on others my issues seem to be able to work themselves out. So here I am, a Spark Motivator :) with a positive attitude.
God - you are good :)