She Shoots! She Scores! GOAL BABEEEEE!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Today is Goal Day! 165.0 lbs!
Since the last time I blogged, I have realized ANYTHING is possible you may just have to put more effort into it to make it happen.
For some reason I was having this crazy mental block that getting to my figure comp. goal might not be possible, as in physically possible. As if somehow my body, regardless of what I did would just stop at some magic number each week. Don’t even ask me why I went there, but I did.
I got extremely upset and down about it, viewing myself as a failure. It was like, I knew I could compete; it just wasn’t going to be when I wanted to. Making me a failure? That same week I was in the dumps, and feeling sorry for myself (maybe partially hormonal as well) I watched The Biggest Loser Finale. It hit me at that moment, “Uhhhhh…. It’s TOTALLY POSSIBLE! It’s just a matter of how much and how hard do I want to work to get there by that date.”
Another timely realization for me involves a woman here that inspires me daily. This woman, I will call my friend, decided to compete in bodybuilding after losing a significant amount of weight. She competed that same weekend I was struggling mentally and what she came back to say floored me. She said she was disappointed in herself and that she didn’t know if she ever wanted to compete again. Let me tell ya… she came in 3rd place. She didn't feel deserving of that 3rd place there were "only" 3 competitors, including her. I had to let her know how I saw it and I'm sure so many others. The simple fact was that 3 women stood up there on stage. Count them…. 3!! She deserved that trophy! In my opinion, she deserved 1st!
What I saw in my words is that I also have those negative tendencies – to belittle what I’ve accomplished. If anyone could even see the changes in my life and the people around me… it’s HUGE! So much bigger than “losing some weight”. Her experience came at the right time for me though. Because I realized when I stand on that stage with these women I separate myself from, 100+lbs lighter, with hours logged in the gym, planning and surviving food and temptations, and other sacrifices, like sleeping in some days, I will have already won!
I finally clicked that switch on inside that’s sending messages of “anything is possible”. I used to say it, but I really feel it now. I may still have my ups and downs, but in the back of my mind I know it depends on what I can motivate myself to do. It’s all there for the taking. .... and I'm feeling greedy! ;)