Tuesday, June 02, 2009
On the 28th of this month we leave for vacation. I had hoped to be at my 100 pound mark by then but I don't know now. ): Two days ago I told myself 10 pounds by the 28th, you can do it! I have swam my butt off, eaten right and drank water like nobody's business. My body has gained.
I don't understand it anymore. For four years I have sweated, cried, pushed, drank enough water for the entire state of Texas--twice, and eaten my weight in protein 4 times. I have had my annual tests done every year to make sure I am good and there is nothing wrong with me except that my body is stubborn and despite what I do, it doesn't want to go down, just up or stuck.
This really bothers me, obviously.
I have counted calories, not counted calories, figured out that carbs don't work for me and protein does, and then some weeks I wonder about that..
This IS the year for me damnit. I mean it. I have perservered this long and I'm tired of it. I love my swimming. I thought for sure that once I got back in the water it would put my body into a shock and it would lose, lose, lose. It hasn't. I have gained some muscle and lost some inches which is great, but I don't care what anyone says, I need that scale to tell me good news!
Two years ago I busted my right ankle biking. Found out I have tendonitis, and I tore it up pretty bad. Stopped biking and running and took it easy. A few friends of mine have offered to take me running, but I am worried about hurting myself. I am wondering if I start with a mile slowly, if this will help my body do what it needs to start losing again. I don't want to be stuck like I was two years ago, working out at the gym, eating right for an entire year and lost only 5 pounds that whole year.
I need this. I NEED this. I am so exhausted trying to figure out what else to do so get to my goal.