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Reflecting - The past 4 months & Goal updates

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I don’t believe it is July 15th already. I’ve seriously been doing this for 4 months straight. Most days I don’t feel like I’ve really accomplished much, and I’m always scared I’m going to screw it up some how. You would think by now I would have built up some kind of confidence or something, but I really don’t think so. Most of the time I’m thinking, this isn’t good, or how in the heck do I expect myself to do…., and that I won’t be able to do or handle something. Every once in a while all that negativity gets countered with a “come on Becky you can get through this” thought. Still, overall the positive anything, comes after I actually realize that I accomplished something, and it usually doesn’t last long. Or if it does I really don’t see it in myself.

Should I be able to consistently believe in myself, or be more positive by now? Maybe with my past, it’s to soon yet.

Anyway, as of today I have been taking baby steps to change my lifestyle for Four months now. I’ve been eating healthier, I’ve not smoked a single cigarette, I’ve started exercising – all for four months now. In four months I’ve even lost 40.2 pounds as of my most recent weigh in.

After all this I'm trying to pick out the changes in myself, positive and negative–
1. I can breathe better; I can literally walk up a few flights of stairs and not feel like I’m suffocating.

2. My blood pressure is coming back under my control; the doc even cut the meds in half.

3. My feet are killing me! But this will hopefully be taken care of soon – see my blog entry “the foot doctor” for more info on this one.

4. Although, I still have my good and bad days, concerning pain from my fibromyalgia, the bad days are becoming less frequent. I can remember feeling lucky if I escaped the pain just for a few hours, now it’s gone, sometimes for a whole day!

5. I have lost 40.2 pounds, in four months! Honestly, I don’t know what to think of this…. Yes it’s great I’m losing, but I can’t help but think that I have screwed up somewhere because I can see it yet aside from a slight change in my legs but that was about 3-weeks ago. I still feel huge. Ya, my pants need a belt, and I might be able to fit into one size smaller if I actually went shopping, but I don’t see it, and I really don’t feel lighter either. So we’ll count this as an in-between. 6. Even though I don’t feel lighter, I do feel better. I have more energy and a little more motivation to get things done.

7. I really am eating smaller portions, whether I like it or not…. Time to cut to a side story for an example – usually on my way to work I stop at subway and pick up a salad to be my dinner, before I started making changes it was a foot long sub, and a very fattening one at that… well, tonight I really didn’t want another salad, so I opted to get a foot long, but w/o all the crazy extras I used to get. I was only able to eat half of it and felt stuffed. 4-months ago, I would have ate the whole thing and wanted more.

8. Perhaps I have more control too. In the beginning, I craving would have sunk me, now, I crave something not so healthy, and I’m able to resist or at least limit myself 98% of the time.

That is all I can see at this point. Six positives, One negative, and One neutral….. One would think with the positives outweighing everythign, I would have a more positive outlook by now.

Anyway, since it’s been four months, and for the most part it’s been the same personal goals, minus one or two added about a month and a half ago, this entire time, I think it’s time to change some things up….. I’m going to change most of my goals. Hopefully, this goes ok…

My personal goals have been:

1. Do a Minimum of 10mins of exercise a day.
2. Start keeping track of foods to become more aware.
3. No more chocolate.
4. No more soda.
5. No more smoking.

Will start with the oldest goals and work to the most recently added –

5. No smoking – I am keeping this one. When I quit smoking, I started using Chantix. I stopped taking Chantix 2 weeks ago. I’m doing ok, but just worried still that I may go back. With marking this goal off each day, I feel a little better. So it stays.

4. No more soda – When I wrote this, my intention was to stop drinking Mt. Dew and lots of it every day, so I would get away from the caffeine for my high blood pressure and the tons of sugar for my weight. I had tried diet, but my taste buds didn’t agree. I think I’m ready to start allowing this in moderation. The new goal for this is going to be not to drink soda heavily or on a daily basis. Basically, I can have one glass if I go out to eat in a restaurant, but that’s it.

3. No more chocolate – I was a huge chocolate and candy eater. I also, was not great at pacing myself. Packages contain soooo much and in the past I couldn’t limit to just a small portion of what the package contained. I am going to try allowing chocolate & candy in moderation. I did it with chips; I stopped eating them by the handful or bag full and started eating just a serving size, if that, when and if I eat them. Still this one scares me… I’m changing it because of what happened to me about a month ago – after going three months without chocolate I was having a major, MAJOR chocolate crave…. I needed sugar bad! At work there is a candy drawer that I have refused to go near for three months. I decided what the heck; one bite size candy bar won’t kill me. I started and couldn’t stop; I ended up eating 8 bite size candy bars. I only stopped there because I finished off what was there. So I’m hoping that by allowing it in moderation I won’t get to that point again, plus, I can preplan chocolate & candy intake like I do my chips.

2. Start keeping track of foods to become more aware – I’ve been doing this fairly, consistently for about 3 months now. I feel I have become more aware since I can now fix myself a healthy meal and be able to estimate the calorie count and other nutrition info (mainly protein and fiber) in my head and once I do enter it I’m with in a digit or two of being correct. Still, I need to keep tracking daily just to make sure I don’t start trying to convince myself that everything I’m eating is healthy and ignoring the counts.

1. Do a Minimum of 10mins of exercise a day – I did this because I couldn’t get myself to be consistent with exercise. However, I went and got a pedometer shortly after I set this, and started walking a lot to make sure I got in a lot of steps. So I am changing this – Since it is recommended to walk 10,000 steps a day (close to 5 miles) and I’m starting to average 2 to 4 daily, my new goal is to walk a minimum of 5 miles everyday except the first day of my work week. Basically, 6 out of 7 days. I am excluding the first day of my work week, because of my screwy schedule and the way I do things to make sure I get enough sleep for work.

New goal to be added - increase my fiber intake – I don’t think I have met the recommended fiber levels but once or twice in four months. I need to start increasing this. Once I can meet the recommended levels consistently, I’ll change it to maintaining.

So my new list of goals:

1. Increase my fiber intake.
2. Walk a minimum of 5 miles daily; 6 out of 7 days
3. Track foods daily.
4. Chocolate and candy ONLY in moderation.
5. Mt. Dew or other soda ONLY in moderation - 1 glass at a restaurant for special occasions ect…
6. No Smoking

Here goes something I hope…..
I think I can… I think I can……
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great goals...keep up the great work! Try taking pictures every ten or fifteen pounds you lose so you can make comparisons...do a side shot as well as a front shot... you will see a difference in a picture for sure! Also, make sure you are taking your measurements because lost inches don't lie!!! Remember you are doing it!!!
    4319 days ago
    I think you should change the last line of your blog to
    I KNOW I can, I know I can!
    Because you are really doing it, and you're doing just fine!

    You're beautiful, you're amazing, and you're inspiring!!
    Hugs to you!!!
    4320 days ago
    Awesome! Congrats on 40 pounds gone forever. Lovin the goals you fixed for yourself. Now about the chocolate. I was reading some place not here but in a magazine that if your craving chocolate you can fix yourself a strawberry dip into to chocolate. That should help with that craving. I have found also if you get a small snack size as a treat to yourself every once in a while that you will not think about it so often. What I mean by snack size is the size you would hand out for halloween. You haven't blown your calories for the day either.

    4322 days ago
    Wow 40 lbs in 4 months. I think that is wonderful. I can understand the chocolate craze. I love chocolate. I have PCOS and one of the effects is insulin resistance. I found a grain sweetened chocolate- you can find it at whole foods, its made by sunspire- It is in the form of choc. chips and I take a tablespoon and mix it with almonds and it makes a great snack. It is fattening but I just take care to eat less fatty stuff later. It is worth it to me, I have had so many failures because of this choc. thing. Thank You for inspiring me. Kristi emoticon
    4322 days ago
    I think you are doing fantastic. Maybe you are afraid to be positive because of failures in the past. I know I have been doing this for over 6 months and I still worry that I will lose all this weight and gain it right back because that has been my experience in the past. We just have to start believing that we have changed our lifestyle and we will be ok. Hugs.
    4322 days ago
    Sounds great - keep up the good work and be patient with yourself as you tackle your new goals!!
    4323 days ago
  • JENBUG537
    Wow your doing great! 40pounds in 4 months is good. You may not see the difference but I sure others do. Besides, isn't it great that you have all those positive things coming out of eating healthier. To me the longer I do the healthy eating, this less I crave the fattening food. I love your goals you set, they are awesome. Keep up the good work!
    4323 days ago
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