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JENNIFERK2009

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Why is it all or nothing with me???

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My entire life it has always been all or nothing with me. Not just with weight loss but everything! I hate this about myself. Why can't I be happy with middle ground or moderation or gray (not just black/white).

Well, today I didn't follow my eating plan for lunch. I told myself to get back on track for dinner but I didn't. I told myself ' I messed up I might as well eat what I want'. I know this is wrong but I don't know how to change it. It feels like I can't control it! I know I should but most of the time I don't feel like I am a strong enough person to change.

Jennifer
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  • NIGHTSTAR777
    Hi Jennifer
    I am not person who can give you good advise. I am the same like you.
    4335 days ago
  • CRAZY_CAROLLYNN
    Hello Jennifer,

    You are SO hard on yourself. Many of us have that perfectionist - all of none... don't even try if we're just ganna fail - thinking. All I can say is START SMALLER!!! If you can't seem to jump the bar... get frustrated and beat yourself up in failure, ... then lower the bar. Sounds like cheating? Who's cheating who here, lets be honest? If you don't TRY, you automatically fail.
    Progress over perfection. Say it a few hundred times a day, Progress over Perfection.
    I was surprised to learn how many people constantly sabotage themselves by leaping way out of their comfort zones. Exerting tons more effort than others do and yet they never get anywhere for all that exertion. Too soon, too fast, too bad, one can go farther and longer with mere "Small Smarter Choice Substitutions."
    It might not be to completely stop late night eating, but to schedule eating a smaller wiser choice followed by an immediate walk instead. The more gradual the change, the easier it is to continue it.

    Plus, what you say about yourself and to yourself has a real impact on how you feel and what you choose to do. So be as supportive and encouraging to yourself as you would to a close friend instead of treating yourself like a criminal. Go back and read your posts looking at the picture you paint of yourself. YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING, a miracle of creation, and a marvel of nature, a unique and irreplaceable beauty. You are not some freak, some evil devil, or destined to forever fail as the queen of pain. You are just like me and if I can do it so can you. Every time you correct your wording you bring yourself up a notch and become more aware of when your self-flogging... to be able to correct it even more. What you say about yourself and to yourself has a real impact on how you feel, what you decide to do and act on doing. So be as supportive and encouraging to yourself as you would to a close friend and improving your performance is a self fueling cycle spiraling up.
    The same way being negative can spiral one's life down into the dumps.

    Sorry if that sounds like a lecture, I just want to share what has worked for me.

    Carollynn
    4342 days ago
  • LINDAANNB1
    Jennifer I know exactly how you feel about the all or nothing thing I used to be like that too.
    I have struggled with trying to lose weight most of my life. If I had a dime for every pound I lost only to regain I would probably be rich! You know that slipping up one meal doesn't mean you have ruined your whole day. It took me a long time to realize that. Someone from sp told me to remember that I would have to eat 3500 cals to equal 1 pound and that is alot of food so when I looked at it that way I realized that the one meal was probably not going to make me gain but if I continued to eat that way the rest of the day, It just might! I realize now that I work too hard on the days that I am being careful to blow it over one slip up.
    I don't know what kind of program you follow but I usually allow myself to have a treat on weigh day. Something that I have realy been craving for. I find this works for me because when I am tempted on those other days I know it won't be long before weigh day is here. You just have to plan for that treat you are going to have and try to eat healthy for the rest of your meals
    Don't be too hard on yourself , it is not always going to be an easy journey but we should never give up!
    Good luck! emoticon
    4346 days ago
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