Its only hurt myself more than anything.
So around the time things started going down hill was right when I came back from New York.
Before I left to NYC my best friend (and the most truest person in my life) had his grandma get real sick. It was hard on him, but it brought him back into my life. It is a really messed up situation but its what went on. And then he kinda played the emotional rollercoaster with me once I got back, but we are finally off of that now.
But what really did me in was my car. I was stressing so bad because the financial burden that was my car decided it wanted to commit suicide. It was so not a good time. Especially since, even though I love my mom immensely, my mom is already financially burdensome on me. The first thing I could do was hit the junk food. It was cheap and easily accesible to just come home and grab Carls Jr. or something like that instead of making a good meal.
I regret it, because it was hard on my body. Luckily I didn't undo any of the good things I had been encouraging with regards to weightloss, but I wasn't stimulating weightloss either, and for that I was ashamed and couldn't come back to face you all. I was kicking myself the whole way for that.
Pathetic I know, but true.
So I've been doing good again, and I have encouragement here at work to. My cousin and a coworker and I want to do a marathon (I don't think I can run for 26 miles but we'll see). On Sept 13 I signed up for a Heart Walk here in my area and I am to sign up for a 5k Walk in October also.
I started a Weightloss Challenge here at work that is starting 8/31. Everyone is contributing $20 and whoever loses the most weight healthily wins the kitty. I have 10 people signed up so far so I hope it will motivate.
Small success is even though the numbers on the scale aren't where I would like them to be I am able to throw out all my 16 jeans from Old Navy and lots of other "Fat Clothes" because they won't even stay on with a belt and make me look bigger.
I am going to Disneyland this weekend and I want to show side by side comparison pictures of all the weight I've lost since last January. I think I was roughly 220. But the pictures are to reflect 1/08, 7/08, and now 8/09. I hope at least my face looks thinner in the 8/09 picture compared to the 7/08 pictures.
Well I'm back and I hope to do well and stay motivated.
But lets hope the layoffs that have started at work don't stress me out again.