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What a difference a day makes!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I dont know what to do so I am reaching out to you, my friends. I am going down into a depression. I am fighting as hard as I know how to keep myself out of it. And I don't know why. I felt so good yesterday.

I think it may be because, as some of you may remember, last year at this time I had moved to Hudson, WI (15 min. from Minneapolis) to live with my brother until he passed on. I keep thinking on how I held his hand and told him it was okay to go on Sunday, September 21st. I just am on the verge of tears all the time. And I mean, all the time. All day. All night. He was the last brother I had left and we were very close. Could this be why?

And then there's all the bills and not enough money to cover them. As I know, a lot of people are dealing with every day with this economy the way it is. Do I need to go out and get a job? I don't want to. I worked enough years and shouldn't have to go back to work anymore.

Please give me some positives. I don't like to ask for help but I really need it now or I am going to end up in a psych ward. I don't like to but I am depending on you to help me now. Thank you.l
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  • TINALEX61
    I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, it has to be hard. Definitly try to talk to someone in person. Try be around friends as much as you can, it helps to keep busy.
    As for work it's a shame what is happening to this world, We both have to work in my household in order to make the bills. But Jazzwoman1266 is right, if you do have to work find something you like to do. Even a walmart greeter, there's lots of people to talk too. Good luck and keep your chin up.
    4265 days ago
  • WOLFSPIRITS
    CONNIE, YOU ARE A DEAR FRIEND TO ALOT OF PEOPLE, A MENTOR, A VERY CARING AND CONSIDERATE HELPFUL PERSON. NOT MANY ARE LIKE YOU OUT THERE IN THIS BITTER WORLD ANYMORE. A TRUE FRIEND! EVERY DAY YOU HAVE ALOT ON YOUR PLATE, DIDN'T MEAN FOOD! YOU DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS. IT IS THE BEST THING TO DO IS GRIEVE OR REJOICE THE LOVED ONES WHO ARE IN A BETTER PLACE. I USED TO CRY AND STILL DO ON SEPT. 26TH FOR A LOVED ONE. THEN THE REST OF THE YEAR I TELL HER TO GET OUT OF MY DREAMS AND STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! LOVE YOU RHONDA
    4297 days ago
  • NOCALORIES
    Good Morning. You are loved as has been so beautifully written in these comments. You have taken that first step to change things. You are a sparkpeople and appreciated. Thank you for being the delightful lady you are. You are a generous giver. How loving to give your time to be with your brother in his time of need. Wake up find happiness and rejoice in the many sparkfriends who appreciate you and acknowledge your goodness. Today is an opportunity to rejoice that you were blessed with a brother and could feel the joy of being loved. Love is infinite so that love is with you today. When you and your brother did not live together you knew you were loved. Remember you are loved now.
    4297 days ago
  • LINDA!
    I am so sorry for all that you are going through. Having lost both of my parents I know how hard it is hard to function at times. Your brother was very fortunate to have such a loving sister.

    Going to a talk therapy session with a counselor either individually or in a group would be helpful. See if there is an organization in your community for low income individuals. Please try to find others to talk to that are also grieving. It does help to find someone to talk with.
    4297 days ago
  • DBD398
    I know it is very hard to loose someone you have lost. But it sounds to me that you went to your brother because he was ill. I will bet that he is so much more happy where he is. You should rejoice in his life instead of being upset that he is not with you. Make a collage of things he did that are wonderful that remind you of him. Celebrate the time you had with him. I won't lie and tell you that it gets better. My mom died 26 years ago and I still have days where I can barely function.

    You are always helping others. Take some time to help yourself. Try to make a list of ways to make money with out working. Do you have anything that you can sell on Craigslist. It's fast cash usually. I had to sell a bunch of stuff a year ago to pay my WPS bill. I sold about $200!

    You will make it through today. Go for a walk! Remember that the sunshine on your face is the Lord touching your face telling you it will be ok!

    Your SP Friend!
    Dawn emoticon
    4297 days ago
  • SAM60SUMTHINK
    Grieving happens in spurts, and it's quite natural for you to feel this way over your brother's passing at the anniversary mark. Think of the happy memories you have of your brother, maybe spending a little time looking at some pictures from childhood or talking to Rick or a friend about some adventure or quirk. Filling the mind with good memories at a time that represents the sad loss.

    Being home and not working means we have more time to fill. Sounds pretty basic...and is basic. Some of us need purpose for our days; simply changing how you're using your time may help with some of your feelings. Does your local VFW or Am. Legion or bike group have a troop support group? Consider monthly involvement.

    Not working also means less money despite increasing costs. Seriously weigh options of a part-time 'fun' job if you feel the combination of extra income and sense of purpose are needed right now. If you honestly don't want to work, then attack a budet plan and prepare for the financial part of your future. Head-on.

    Hormones are a MAJOR source of the feelings you describe. A doctor can check levels with a simple blood test.

    Consider increasing your exercise to raise the endorphin levels; this can help lift spirits even though it won't solve problems. Outdoor activity is best.

    This won't solve the problem, but can help a little... try taking 800 units (2 vitamin pills) of vitamin D each day.

    Get out of the house. Get away from the computer. Change something in your schedule. And if it continues? Talk to your doctor.

    I'm only an email away if you want to vent, my friend!
    (((hugs)))
    /Sam
    4297 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1405508
    Connie your making a good first step..by reaching out! Talk to people & try to do things that make u feel good...seems to help me anyways. Try to look at all the good in your life and feel thankful you had such a close brother!!! Im thinking of you and hold you close in my prayers!
    Keep smiling!
    tami
    4297 days ago
  • JAZZWOMAN1266
    Find someone to talk to in person. I find that I am alone way to much and depression creeps in. Seek help or volunteer. Anything to keep you busy.

    If you have to go back to work, find a job you could enjoy. Maybe work at a hospital childrens ward. a flower shop, etc. Think about something you always wanted to do and work towards it!

    Good luck and find help!
    4297 days ago
  • BEINGHAPPY1
    I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.
    If you are having trouble coping you should get some help, here in Australia there are some great websites "beyond blue" is one of them or maybe call a councillor help line. It can really help to talk to a real person. My heart is breaking for you, it is so hard when your emotions seem to go up and down really quickly.
    Maybe get out of the house and go for a walk, maybe you will be lucky and see someone with a dog, dogs always make me smile! They are just happy to be out, with their people, going for a walk, they just live in the moment.
    Tomorrow is another day and hopefully it will be better!
    I will be thinking of you.
    4297 days ago
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