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Trouble

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping. Can't get to sleep, can't stay asleep, etc. I have been very worried.

A week ago yesterday, a man was murdered by his on again/off again girlfriend 4 houses from where I live. Now this really shouldn't bother me because rationally I think..................well, it was IN her apartment, it wasn't a random on the street thing and there was a history of violence between the two of them.

But you need to understand that I was living in Seymour, WI when I was born and then we moved to Pulaski, WI when I was eight. I now live in Green Bay, WI. It is much larger. These things don't happen in your neighborhood in small towns. Seymour and Pulaski are small towns where everyone knows everyone. I'm afraid to even go out in our yard when it's dark now in Green Bay. Even coming home from getting groceries is scary if it's already dark like it was last night when I finished shopping. And Rick does not want me outside alone at all when it's dark. I love going for walks in the evening and I can't do that anymore.

On top of that I haven't been feeling good since early Sept. Been really bad the last few days. Finally able to go into the doctor on Monday. I am having a not very nice side effect when I eat, even if it's only a little, so therefore, I am not eating hardly anything. That makes me feel worse. Cuz that's putting me in starvation mode.

Thanks for listening.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CARLIN5007
    You have Gaurdian Angels all around you. Embrace them.
    4204 days ago
  • WOLFSPIRITS
    SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS IN G.B. I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS WATCHING THE NEWS. TOO BIG OF A CITY FOR ME! TAKE CARE GIRL!! emoticon
    4215 days ago
  • DBD398
    I was wondering if that murder was near you. Things like that have happened around me before and have bothered me too. I have learned that I will not let someone dictate my life.

    My advice is . . . always be aware of your surroundings and don't be afraid to live. Get some mace or pepper spray if it makes you feel better. It is only like $10 a can. If you want to be outside be outside. Have faith that God will protect you as long as you help him out a little bit.

    Hope the Dr can figure out what is going on!
    Dawn emoticon
    4226 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1405508
    HI CONNIE! try not to worry...we could all be gone tomorrow...livefor today ok!!!!
    Good Luck!!
    xxoo
    Tami
    4226 days ago
  • WOLFSPIRITS
    WOW!!!!! ALOT OF LONG ANSWERS AND GOOD ONES ALSO. I LOVE SMALL TOWNS. MANITOWOC IS O.K. WE HAVE GANGS HERE BUT THEY ACT BETTER THAN THE BRATS IN TWO RIVERS!!! WHICH IS A SMALLER TOWN YET. TAKE CARE!! emoticon emoticon
    4226 days ago
  • DARLENEK04
    Sparquee,

    These things also happen in small towns. It is just part of
    life. There was violence before all thru history, but there
    is a lot of media coverage now and that makes it even worse.
    Before I moved here, I lived in a small town and we had a man
    on the police force who killed several people and made it look
    accidental, so it can happen.
    You lock your doors and be prepared to carry thru with whatever
    plan you have and then you have to go on and live your life.
    Don't give up, you will get thru...and we are here to support
    you too............
    Darlene
    4226 days ago
  • ROSEWAND
    I, too, have many issues with anxiety. I think that
    this hearing of this murder has triggered in you,
    memories of past traumas in your life that have
    left you feeling vulnerable. Even if you are
    not consciously aware of this part of your history,
    your body consciousness is and is responding
    with the chemistry that keeps you awake.

    I have struggled much with these issues.
    Medicine may help in the short term to
    suppress the symptoms, but may add additional
    pounds, while not getting to the root cause.
    That cause is you do not feel safe in the world
    and this event has reminded you how dangerous
    this world can feel at times.

    As you are familiar with Jon Gabriel's Method,
    check out his radio show from last Thursday.
    He talks about using meditation and visualization
    to increase our sense of safety in the world. He
    reminds us that feeling safe reduces the "Fat
    Programs" that keep us from losing weight.

    You can find this archived show on BlogTalk Radio online.
    http://www.blogtalkradio
    .com/The-Gabriel-Method.

    I have found that by changing to a low gylcemic
    diet with moderate amounts of low glycemic
    carbs plus interval training, I have reduced my
    levels of cortisol significantly. My quality of sleep
    is much improved. Please email me if you would
    like more details about what I am doing. By the
    way, I have also lost over 20 pounds since I made
    these changes. Pounds I have not been able to lose
    for over 15 years!
    4227 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/18/2009 4:14:58 PM
  • LISA0517
    I understand how you feel. Feeling vulnerable and anxious just wreaks havoc on you physically as well as mentally. I hope your doctor can help with the physical issues so you can feel better. Hang in there!

    emoticon
    4227 days ago
  • SPARQUEE
    Thank you SUNNYGIRL. I already lock my car the minute I get in. I also have one of those that unlocks it as I'm walking to it so I can get in immediately.

    You're not "fueling" any of my fears. The thing I really dislike about living in a larger city is that I am finding that I don't trust a lot of people anymore. People just don't seem to care about others as much although, from what I hear, Green Bay is better than most cities.
    4227 days ago
  • SUNNYGIRL28734
    First, sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. That can be such a bummer especially for those of us who need our exercise and nutritional programs. Sure hope you get back healthy real soon!

    So you've had the physical setback not feeling well and now it sounds like you're experiencing a significant emotional issue as well. What you described is definitely a scary thing. I live in Springfield Massachusetts and the crime rate is unreal. Yesterday the 15th murder of the year took place (a 23 yr. old, same age as my youngest son). I really don't know what to tell you. It sounds so matter-of-fact to say everything will be fine. I guess if I were you I would talk about my fears to friends and family. I would take all added precautions, i.e. locking doors/windows, my car even when I'm driving. Parking where there is street lights, etc. Reading over this I feel like I'm fueling your fear and that isn't what I want to do. I guess I'm just saying as long as you take care of yourself, doing things safely, you WILL be okay. I don't know your belief system when it comes to God/religion/spirituality but I would suggest turning your fears over to a higher power. I will definitely keep you in my prayers.......
    4227 days ago
  • SPARQUEE
    Thank you for your comments. But you are misunderstanding me. I don't live in Pulaski now; I have been living in Green Bay for about 10 years and as you know, it is much larger. I am ready to move back to Pulaski or some other small town. I know longer like bigger cities even though they have more to offer.
    4227 days ago
  • BLUEANGELLK
    Sorry to hear about your troubles. It is hard to deal with terrible thing when they happen in such small towns. I grew up in Nekoosa, WI and I know what you mean about things like that not happening in small towns.

    I hope your doctor can help you with your trouble eating. Be sure to tell your doctor about your anxiety. They can give you a medication to help with that. It can be something you take temporarily just to get through this tough time.

    I am praying for you and that your fears go away. I hope the doctor can help you tomorrow. Good luck!
    4227 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/18/2009 7:10:27 AM
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