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Already opened your gifts and your bored? Read this for a Smile!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !
Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !
Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty !

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Donut who?
Donut open 'til Christmas!

Wow! This one was for Miss Donut! LOL U Go Cowgurl YEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAA!

What goes ho, ho, ho, bonk?
Santa Claus laughing his head off.

Sung to the Tune "Deck The Halls"
Deck the malls this Christmas season,
fa la la la la, la la la la
Blow your cash for no good reason,
fa la la la la, la la la la
Push your charge card to its limit
fa la la, la la la, la la la
Your check book now has nothing in it.
fa la la la la, la la la la.

1.A Christmas tree is always erect.
2.Even small ones give satisfaction.
3.A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
4.A Christmas tree always looks good - even with the lights on.
5.A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
6.A Christmas tree has cute balls.
7.A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you break one of its balls.
8.You can throw a Christmas tree out when it’s past its ’sell by’ date.
9.You don’t have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at
the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present
something “Christmassy”.

The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is
allowed in.

The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.

The third man pulls out a pair of panties.

Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, “How do these represent

The third man answered “They’re Carol’s.”

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding
headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the
preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put
some coffee in front of him. “Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last
night. Was it as bad as I think?”

“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of
yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you
insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”

“He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”

“You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”

“Well, screw him!” said John.

“I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”

I know when you`ve been bad or good — so let’s skip the small talk,

Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

I know when you`ve been bad or good — so let’s skip the small talk,

Some of my best toys run on batteries wink wink
I see you when you’re sleeping - and you don’t wear any underwear, do
Screw the “nice” list — I’ve got you on my “nice AND naughty” list!
Wanna join the “Mile High” club?
That’s not a candy cane in my pocket, honey. I’m just glad to see you! HAAA!

Merrry Christmas FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD4756432
    i had a few good laughs...but won't say which ones...lol
    4137 days ago
    GEEEZZZZ....BRI...You're killin' me! Good night.....You've had waaayyyyyyy tooooo much sugar, sugah! hahahahahaaaaaaaa
    4194 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2071105
    LMAOOOOO!! I posted that "deck the malls" one on my FB last week, everyone loved it!
    Merry Christmas!!!!!
    4195 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/25/2009 9:26:07 AM
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