Pick yourself up...Dust yourself off!
Monday, January 04, 2010
Emotions come flying back to me. I remember how wonderful I felt when I lost all the weight and I want desperately to feel that happiness again.
2009 was a tough year. I know it was tough on everyone, but the problem with depressed obsessive personalities is that if food is your release, you turn to it in times of stress.
I lost complete control during 2009. Every negative event in my live ended up on my plate. I returned to the comfort of eating and gave up all attempts at reaching a healthy lifestyle. Sad..I know. But I am hoping that if I blog about this everyday it will keep me focused on new goals and aspirations.
I am not going to make "Lose Weight" a New Years resolutions. Those get broken too early and forgotten about. Instead I plan on taking little steps one at a time and do my best to get back on track again.
First step: I signed up to participate in a University Weight Management study. It only cost me $25 for materials and I will actually get that paid back to me a few times if I stay in the study. UF has a good School of Nutrition and their program is supposed to be pretty good. It includes weekly meetings, weighins, counseling and support....kind'a like Weight Watchers. You just have to realize you are part of a blind study and you take your chances. It starts officially in February and I could be selected for a 1500 cal a week diet or a very restrictive 1000 cal a week diet. Yup, that is the risk you take. They are obviously attempting to track the negative effects of a low intake diet. That is the risk you take. You have no idea what test group you will be in.
Second Step: Positive self talk every day. I know that I cannot stop the negative self abuse outright, but maybe if I make a point to praise those positive things about my health....well, maybe, just maybe can begin to believe it.
Third Step: Use Sparkspeople every day to diary my food intake and keep track on what I eat regardless of what it is. No guild. If I screw up, I screw up and tomorrow is a new morning.
Forth Step: Smile...everyday!
Ok, world, hear I go.