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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I read a blog today about friends that we eat with and friends that struggle with weight issues like us. I learned the hard way that sometimes these friends sabotage your weight loss because of their own insecurities.

I have some friends, very close friends, who I have known since high school. They have the same weight issues that I have, some can keep it under control and some cannot. I never had a problem with these girls until I lost a good chunk of weight years ago. My relationships changed with these women and not because we were into different things, but because cattiness reared its ugly head. I didn't realize it at the time, but as I grew older I began to understand it better. I now know exactly what it was and is, but I wasn't sure how to handle it and I still don't.

These girls were my closest friends, the girls who were supposed to love me the most, and yet they were the MOST nasty and unsupportive when I was looking and feeling pretty good about myself. There are no words to convey how truly, truly heartbreaking that was for me.

The other day someone said, “Maybe you're scared of the other side and how people will react to you when you get there.”

She was right.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    The great thing is that we can make our own choices, and not sabotage ourselves, because of how someone else treats us. Last night at dinner with my friend, she had like 6 breadsticks, loaded with butter and I had two with no butter (one of my special requests). I am sooooo glad that I didn't follow her lead. Funny though - I also read a blog the other day about not being judgmental of others, just because I'm changing my eating habits doesn't allow me to judge someone who is not. I'm struggling with this a bit because I did feel a bit judgmental when I watched her eat 6 breadsticks. Long story short - I'm proud of you and your progress and we all need "healthy" friends and relationships in our lives and even though most of our spark friends are cyber friends, they're the type of friends we need with us on this journey.
    4203 days ago
    OK I have a good friend who is about to leave CA and she has not said anything to me but sometimes I feel bad that she has not made great advancements in her weight lost but I also see what she should be doing and not doing. We can only hold our friends hands for so long until they have to hold there own,

    I've read a lot of blogs on SP and I will try to comment on all, but there are a few that I've been following that have been negative for months now. I feel really bad for these people because they have not found the positive side of this journey yet.
    4204 days ago
    They are probably so jealous that you can do it and they haven't. Hopefully your changes will make them think. In the meantime you don't need friends that aren't on the same page as you. It's hard enough to eat right and exercise without other commenting, picking, not being supportive. With friends like that who needs enemies. Just have to make new, supportive friends that you can journey with... like PAGONA. emoticon
    4204 days ago
    I can completely relate! You were right about our blogs being in synch. I also had a friend (now an ex friend) that was always used to me being the "fat friend" and not getting the attention that she would get. Then I lost weight and she could NOT handle it and it ruined our relationship..I also deal with it in my family, so I know EXACTLY how you feel! (sorry so long)
    4204 days ago
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